'The Salad Fingers Fic'

Any resemblance between the characters in this work and any persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental

Chapter 1: New Dreamboat in School!

Another day. Another period. Another class and Kylie was late. It was a new school year and she was already behind. Not only that, but her ex-boyfriend, Andrew, had dumped her over the holidays because she simply acted too heterosexual towards him. What a bummer!

Kylie, finally finding her classroom, brushed straight past the door into her first class of the day, English Extension 2. She mumbled a half-apology to her favourite teacher, Mr Ross, before realising that instead of Mr Ross, there stood a 6 ft tall, green, shivering, and undeniably attractive new teacher. 'You are late. That is all fine' whispered her wide-eyed Daddy-to-be 'It will all be fine soon'

Chapter 2: Things are heating up!

To tell the truth, Kylie didn't notice much that lesson, apart from the slim but irresistible figure of Mr. Fingers, her new teacher. The way he shuffled slowly and creepily around the room, exempt of passion, emotion, or any kind of motor skills whatsoever, reminded her of all the times she had had sex with Andrew, the difference being Mr. Fingers didn't cry when he did this, nor did he beat Kylie afterwards.

'Ms. Brown Hair…' A wheezing acknowledgement by her teacher brought Kylie back to her senses. 'Sorry, uh, Mr. Fingers, I was, um, I was just out of it you know' Mr. Fingers' gaze seemed to penetrate Kylie before he spoke 'It would be best if you saw me at lunch' Kylie, oddly aroused by this proposal, simply sat quietly in agreement, as Mr. Fingers resumed his mumbling and pacing.

Chapter 3: They fuck.

It would be an understatement to say Kylie was simply 'nervous' for her lunch meeting. It would not be an understatement to say she was fucking horny though, because she was absolutely ready to get dicked down by whatever Mr. Fingers had to dick her with.

Entering the classroom for her punishment, she saw Mr. Fingers, wrapping a nettle around a rusty spoon and rubbing his hands and face with it with an almost orgasmic pleasure. It was only until Kylie had began to leave, thinking foolishly, that some dick was simply not worth it, that her crush acknowledged her.

'Oh, hello there my little girl, I need you to help me with something.' He motioned to his shirt, 'I can't quite seem to get it up… and over my head'. This was the perhaps the only moment of the encounter which did not turn Kylie on , as the first half of this sentence brang back more horrible flashbacks of her several bland sexual experiences with Andrew. At this point, her insides felt very thick, which in this case is a very appropriate adjective, not only because it described why she wanted Mr. Fingers so badly, but it rhymed with the one thing in the world she wanted more than anything right now.

'I would be more than happy to help you.' She moved over to his gorgeous physique, and began to peel away a layer keeping her from her carnal desire. 'Is that all you need from me Dad-, I mean, sir?' she asked, scolding herself for her slip.

'Get on your knees, bitch'

The reply was one which she did not expect, but nonetheless one that she welcomed with open arms, along with many other things she was willing to open for Mr. Fingers. She wordlessly conveyed her desire to the domineering teacher, ironically by opening her mouth. Mr. Fingers seemed to understand, responding by reaching his long, leafy fingers to undo his belt and slide down both his jeans and his boxers. He then let his cock, of equal feel and complexion to his fingers, unfurl before Kylie's expectant eyes.

For a brief moment, they both were completely motionless, before Kylie realised how hungry she was for dick, as per usual, and began to serve Mr. Fingers. His long green, flaccid member met her tongue and her tight lips closed around him. Mr Fingers, now fully naked, forced Kylie's head down onto him with his right hand, and scratched himself violently with the nettled rusty spoon with his left . All the time, small, high pitched whines left his mouth, which reached such a climax that Kylie felt that she could resist his temptation no longer.

Pushing Mr. Fingers onto the floor, she began to mount him. Undulating with desire, Mr. Fingers removed her white shirt. At the sight of Mr. Fingers' stiff and tumescent member, Kylie had never been more sure about anything in her life, that she needed his fern-like dick far inside of her.

After removing the rest of her clothes, she lowered herself onto Mr Finger's penis again and again, already noticing how much better he felt that Andrew, who's memory, admittedly, had been soiled slightly by that one time he had made her wear an Eloise Trotter wig & mask. She then, in her pleasured daze of riding on her teachers celery, made a mental note to thank Emma, who had recommended she switch from meat to greens quite some time ago.

As they were both on the brink of climax, Mr. Fingers sat bolt upright, staring deeply into Kylie's eyes. 'I need something from you, Poppet'. Still inside of her, he forced both of his salad thumbs down her throat and held the back of her head with the rest, keeping her fixed in place. 'I didn't say to stop riding me, comrade' he whispered, his salad breath oddly intoxicating, as she complied. Then, he moved close to her eyes and began lapping at them with his coarse tongue. To Kylie, it seemed as nothing this man could do could make her less turned on. Even as he began slightly nibbling, and then biting down on her eyes, drawing an amount of blood, she begged him to continue.

After he had completely severed through her cornea with his teeth, she could feel his salad cock oozing inside her, as his pupils grew and he let out an unholy wail. Kylie fell backwards, completely and utterly satisfied. Like her own eye, she could now see that his member was oozing sweet red water. And, like how Riley feels right now, Kylie wanted to kill herself.