Title: Beginning
Author: Ainahim
Pairing: Axel/Roxas
Rating: T
Genre: Ranges from romance to humor to angst.
Summary: Moments of Axel and Roxas as they first get to know one another.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. The owners of Kingdom Hearts make a lot of money for putting boy love references in their games (YOU KNOW THEY WERE THERE). I get no money for writing full boy-on-boy kisses. That is so unfair.
A/N: Each of these sections skips time so it's not necessarily a continued story, but it's supposed to go in order of how they got to know each other by one of my perspectives. With every moment, Axel and Roxas are supposed to have become closer to one another at the Organization, and I hope that you can feel it with each passing section.
"1"
Axel couldn't help feeling attached to the newcomer, ever since Xemnas introduced him as the final addition. Number XIII. Complete. Roxas seemed a little cold to many, he was a tad shy to get to know anyone, but Axel had introduced himself quickly and forced him a little but out of that shell.
They weren't necessarily friends yet, but Axel would keep trying. He inhaled deeply as he watched the youngest member of the Organization pass him in the hallway, his eyes following the blonde all the time.
"Oh, no, Axel," came Larxene's voice. "Please don't tell me you're preying on poor Roxas."
He posed a startled look. "I'm not preying on him. I just think someone ought to be nice to the new kid." Axel crossed his arms and leaned against the wall as the female laughed. Her laugh was scary. It actually sounded like ice when she was genuinely amused.
"If you're actually fooling yourself with that excuse, then the entire organization knows you better than you do."
The Flurry of Dancing Flames sneered at her until she left, before turning his gaze away and sighing. She was right, of course. Curses.
"2"
"Hey, Roxas, watch out for that--"
CRASH.
"…glass…door…"
The clumsy thirteenth member stood up quickly, trying to regain his dignity while facing Axel. "Do ALL the doors here have to be made of glass?!"
The red-haired Nobody simply laughed at his new friend. "Don't complain to me. Complain to Xemnas."
"Yeah, like anyone gets away with complaining to Xemnas."
Axel walked up and opened the door for Roxas, just in case he was about to walk into it again. "True, true."
"3"
"Something's
bothering you."
Roxas tensed as he folded one of his cloaks. "What?"
"You're moping around more than usual. I think I'm the only one that's noticed."
He sighed and sat on his bed, looking up at Axel. "It's nothing."
Axel raised an eyebrow.
"I'll tell you some other time."
…when we know each other better. It was unspoken, but Axel knew that's what Roxas meant.
"Fine, but I'm not doing it because I personally want to hear it. I just want you to stop moping around."
Roxas looked plainly confused.
"It's – um – it's boring around here when you mope."
"4"
The hall was empty. It was quiet. And something came over Axel. He knew how much he wanted the small blonde, but Roxas still didn't trust him completely. He didn't know what Roxas would think or do, so he had held off practically any physical contact.
But seeing him now, he looked lonely even for someone with no heart. There was still something hanging over that boy's head.
Axel's footsteps behind Roxas' became quicker, disturbing the silence, before he encircled his arms around the short blonde's shoulders. He jumped a little before realizing who it was.
They stood like that for a few moments, and Roxas sighed. It sounded like the sigh of someone who was trying to be annoyed, but in reality, wasn't annoyed at all.
"5"
"I just don't get it, Axel," everything that had been confusing Roxas or bugging Roxas was suddenly spilling out of his mouth in the dark private walls of his room.
"I know why we're searching, what we're doing, that we need to become whole again, but I don't get why. I can feel it, you know, can you? I feel that empty spot within where my heart's supposed to be. I've been told I can't feel emotion because of it, but…" he paced, his voice cracking because it wasn't used to opening up. It was used to ignoring everything, being stoic, being cold. "If we're friends, there has to be some emotion attached to that, right? And that should be enough for us!"
Finally Roxas just collapsed on his bed, as far away from his friend as possible, one or two stray tears falling as he hid them in the pillow. "But I'm still empty. We're all still empty. I want to be able to be complete just by being me. Can't we ever just feel complete ourselves?"
Over in the corner, Axel sat by the windowsill. "No," he said, and as he spoke the word he heard a small cry come from Roxas. When Axel heard that, he felt that empty spot inside of him widen just a little, as if a heart that cared for someone else was actually there.
"6"
Axel was embracing Roxas from behind as usual, both of them staring out into nothingness. He was surprised to suddenly feel one of Roxas' gloved hands on his. Usually Roxas did nothing in response to Axel's embraces, only standing there and letting the other Nobody hold him.
"What are we doing like this, Axel?" He asked in that adorably confused voice he adopted every once in awhile.
He felt his mouth go dry, and he couldn't even find a stupidly sarcastic remark in the back of his head.
To surprise Axel even more, Roxas turned around in the embrace so they were facing each other, and Axel's hands dropped around his waist.
"Isn't this how couples act?" Number XIII asked this as if it was no big deal. As if it was something that happened everyday. As if it wasn't strictly forbidden by Xemnas to 'simulate romantic relationships as false hope of having hearts.'
"It very well could be. But then, I might be remembering things wrong."
"Maybe I should be telling you to commit things to memory instead of the other way around."
Axel smirked. "If you steal my line I'll make you shut up before you finish."
"Oh, will you now?"
"Yes, yes, I will."
"Fine then. Got it memor--"
And, as promised, before Roxas could finish, Axel shut him up with a very long kiss.
"7"
It was incredibly difficult to hide physical relationships in the Organization. Oftentimes the urge would come over them when they were simply walking down a hallway. They would exchange a glance, reading the specific glint behind the other's eyes, and the next thing they knew, Axel was pinning Roxas to the white walls, claiming the blonde's lips with his own.
Without the privacy of the bedroom, the danger was apparent to both of them, even as they tried to lose themselves in each other. Perhaps the risk is what made it all the more fun.
Just as Axel grabbed Roxas' cloak, the clacking of shoes echoed from around the corner. They froze and looked to where it was coming from. Playfully, Axel pulled the cloak down to Roxas' waist and then ran away laughing.
"YOU JERK!" Roxas yelled as Luxord turned the corner. The gambler looked incredibly confused, as Axel had already disappeared, and Roxas was standing there frantically trying to get on his over garment.
But Roxas continued on. "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS YOU--"
"Roxas?" Luxord asked and that's when Roxas realized he was actually there and turned to him with a look of sheer horror on his face. "Who are you talking to?"
"Um…my cloak. Because…it's too big for me?"
And from around the opposite corner, Axel covered his mouth with his glove to prevent hysterical laughter.
"8"
Their trust was full, as complete as it could be. The room was dimly lit, the curtain drawn across the glass door. The thrill and danger behind their relationship was blocked out and it was just Axel and Roxas.
Their fingers found each other, interlocking as Axel led the blonde down to the silken sheets. Clothing was caressed off of one another; Axel's gloves the very last, since he tried to stubbornly refuse to remove them. Roxas won over in the end and the gloves also fell forgotten to the floor.
As they kissed each other heatedly, their hands exploring anywhere they could, they realized this was the closest they would ever get to love. It wasn't there, and it never could be, but it was something.
Axel was surprisingly gentle, something he'd never tried before and something Roxas had never expected. The blonde's cries were small, but they were encouraging, even though by doing this they were completely breaking the number one rule Xemnas had set for them as members of the Organization.
When Roxas was finally ready and Axel was finally inside him, they kissed each other heavily while keeping a rhythm in time with one another, and there was a very brief moment where the emptiness was forgotten.
After it was over and they were side by side, breathing heavily, and they fell asleep under the covers, content.
Unfortunately, Roxas still had a quandary that wouldn't leave him alone.
Truthfully, it would soon get the better of him and bring him to leave Axel in darkness.
Because once you're as high as you can get, your only option is to fall.
FIN
