A/N Look new story! Not sure where this is going at all but I promise there will be sweet moments and it won't be as frustrating as 'Why Don't You Love Me?' Don't let the first chapter fool you, this is a happy fanfiction. It's mostly fan service because I miss Ren.
Lonely I sit in the dim hallway where Ren had left me. No, it wasn't me he left here, but Bo. Bo is sitting beside me now, unmoving and silently judging me. The chicken is upset with me for not speaking up. I am upset with myself, for hiding inside the chicken suit. Tears prick my eyes as I recall his words.
"I think I'm ready to tell her that I love her." I was taken aback by this. He had said that he couldn't have anybody important to him. What had changed his mind.
Emboldened by the stupid chicken I asked. "Why?" I sounded sullen and desperate to my own ears but he took no notice of my distress.
"I don't know; I guess I'm done with being afraid. I want to know if I have a chance with her, and if I do I want to be with her." There were a thousand lies on my lips, reasons to convince him to not go through with it.
I wanted to convince him of how wicked love could be. As my heart was breaking I imagined some beautiful girl, happily running to his open arms. Of course she would love him. Who wouldn't love him? And he would give her the world. All of his love and devotion would go to her and there would be nothing left for me. I bit back bitter words and looked into his hopeful eyes. He wanted advice from his chicken friend but I dared not speak out of fear that I would say something stupid. Like revealing my true identity to him, or worse commanding him to not submit to that wicked emotion.
I sickened myself, because I wished he would never confess his feelings. I knew that he would be miserable and suffer and she would never know how wonderful it could be to be loved by him. Still there was a part of me that didn't want to care about his suffering. I only wanted to think of myself and how much it would hurt when I could no longer see him again. How could I remain close to him when he was in a relationship with this girl? I could not, I would not be able to stand seeing them together. And though I am sure she must be nice, if she ever learned of my feelings for him, she would probably not like me hanging around so often.
"I think that she would be a fool to turn you down." I said swallowing the pain. My heart quivered, seeing his eyes light up. Would he ever look at me that way again? The real me outside of the chicken suit would have no reason to receive such innocent and affectionate trust. "She may already have feelings for you, but she's waiting for you to make the first move."
"It's strange, my manager has said similar words but I find it hard to believe coming from him. I find it easier to believe when I hear you say it." He confided to me.
"This girl of yours, I bet she is very beautiful." Out of morbid curiosity and maybe some level of masochism I wondered who she was. Did she maybe look a little bit like me? Was there something in her eyes, or the way she smiled that reminded him of me? I shook this thought out of my head, it was nothing more than wishful thinking. As if I could be so important to him that he'd fall in love with a girl similar to me.
"Yes, she is." The warm smile on his face was a hammer to my heart, shattering it into tiny pieces that I hope never to find the strength to put back together. "I've never met a more beautiful person."
He spoke at length about all the merits of this girl who he loved. How she was adorably naïve, and charmingly strong willed. If she would be his, he would treat her like a princess, whatever she asked for he would give her. I tried not to be bitter and to not hate her for getting everything I wanted, even him. I wished him luck and sent him on his way, presumably back to work. I hoped he wasn't going to see her.
"Kyouko-chan, what are you still doing here?" Hikaru walks over to me. "We finished filming an hour ago, I thought you'd left. You were going to go see if there was any Love Me work to do, weren't you?" Confused I look up at him, still holding in my tears. "Kyouko-chan, what's wrong?"
Shaking my head, I summon my best smile. "Nothing." I reply hopping up to my feet. "I was thinking about some things and lost track of time. You're right though, I should get going."
Sucking in a deep breath I force myself to be extra happy as I begin to gather the chicken costume together. Hikaru follows me as I walk back to set to put the costume away. He must be wondering why I had wandered so far away after filming. If I told him, I had gone out of my way to find Tsuruga-san then he would only wonder further and ask questions that I couldn't answer. If I said that I had been worried about Tsuruga-san who had been acting strange at dinner last night, Hikaru would get the wrong idea.
"Kyouko-chan." Hikaru calls out to me again. I turn to him wishing he would leave me alone. It isn't a nice thought to have but at the moment all I want is to be alone, someplace dark where I can give in to my emotions. "You left your phone here earlier. Someone called you."
