Author's Note: I think the idea of this story was better in my head. This is my first Chuck fanfic, and also my first fanfic that wasn't just a one shot, which I'm probably better at. At this point in time, I have no idea where I'm going with this. But I thought it was an interesting idea and decided to go with it. The title sucks, but I couldn't think of anything else. Hope you all enjoy. :)

Sarah vs The Past

It's been four months. Four months since she's relocated to Phoenix. Four months since she signed the papers for her reassignment. Four months since she left Burbank and Chuck Bartowski behind. It's been three months since she began talking to Ellie Bartowski on the phone regularly.

It started in a moment of weakness. After three weeks of living on autopilot, her emotions finally began to spill over. Without even thinking, her fingers had dialed the number for the Bartowski/Woodcomb household. She had been ready to hang up after the first ring, but the moment Ellie's voice reached her, she was frozen. She wasn't exactly sure what she had been expecting. What she hadn't been expecting was for the sob that built up in her throat to let itself loose. Somehow, Ellie had immediately known it was her. Sarah had tried hanging up quite a few times, but she somehow felt compelled to listen to Ellie every time she told her not to. At first, Ellie had been surprised, but she quickly went from surprised to worried. After worry came anger. But after nearly two hours on the phone, Ellie was trying to be calm and understand. Though she was frustrated with Sarah's usual response of 'it's complicated', she attempted to be understanding about it. Luckily, Ellie had agreed not to tell Chuck about the phone calls.

She had hung up feeling even more empty than she had before. Something continued to pull her back, though, until the phone calls became part of her weekly routine. Every time, it's the same thing. Ellie fills her in on what was new with her life, how married life is treating her, what's going on at work. Sarah fills Ellie in on what's going on with her. At least the things that she's able to talk about talk about. Luckily, it's never anything that is too unbelievable. Hell, her cover job is working at a Subway. At least Ellie probably isn't suspicious. Each phone call brings up the same conversations, but always leaves out one topic. Chuck. Even after three months, Sarah still can't bring herself to ask about him. Ellie never even tries to bring him up. She and Sarah may have become friends, but it doesn't change the fact that Sarah left without a word. For that, she's not going to be forgiven.

After three months, she's used to the routine by now, but it doesn't stop the emptiness that comes with each conversation.

The conversation starts like any other. Ellie tells Sarah about something funny that Devon did, Sarah forces a laugh before falling into a silence. It's these things, the little things that she misses so much. As strange as all the characters she met in Burbank may be, she misses being there to witness it. Ellie lets out a frustrated sigh that breaks her out of her thoughts. Before she even has a chance to think, a frustrated Ellie is yelling in her ear.

"I can't do this anymore, Sarah. What the hell happened between you and my brother? He won't tell me anything. You won't tell me anything. I can't just continue to go through these conversations trying to avoid what's obviously been on both of our minds."

All these times she's spent trying to hide her emotions seem to go to waste, as she can't stop the tears from building up. Her voice cracks as she responds. "Ellie, it's -"

"Don't tell me it's complicated. Do you understand how frustrating it is just to hear a vague "it's complicated" every time I try to find out what the hell is wrong with you two?"

She sighs. For once, she wishes everything could just be simple. That there was something that she could say to make Ellie understand. As always, she comes up short.

"I know, Ellie. I'm sorry. It's just...there's no other way to describe it. We just...disagree on some major issues."

"Like what? What could you possibly disagree on that would make you just leave like that?"

"It's..." complicated. "I know I'm no good for him."

"How can you say that Sarah? I never saw him happier than he was with you. God, I can't understand you two! The way the two of you looked at each other said it all. And yet you both seemed to back off anytime things started to get good. The moment you two started taking a step forward, one or both of you would take three steps back. Ever think maybe the two of you could be happy together if you would just try to let each other in? He's miserable without you. You can say you're no good for him all you want, but how could this be better? Sarah, he's heartbroken."

"Ellie...it's more complex than that."

"Complex, complicated. I've heard the same vague words over and over. Why can't anyone just give me a straight answer for once? Maybe I'm being nosy, but he's my little brother, and I'm worried about him." Her voice softens. "We've been having these phone calls for three months. I'd like to think we're friends by now. Can't you just tell me? Can't you just tell me why you disappeared? Why I can't even tell my brother that I'm talking to you? If I'm keeping a secret, I at least want to know why, Sarah."

Before she can answer, a voice that is unmistakeably Chuck's comes from the background of the other side of the phone. "Sarah?"

Shit.