TITLE: My life without you

Disclaimer: I don't own the people in this fic. This is just for fun and no money is made from this.

TV Show: We Got Married - Season 2 (South Korea)

Paring: Yonghwa - CNBLUE & Seohyun - SNSD (Girls Generation)

Warning:

1. English is NOT my mother language, so it could have some mistakes. Sorry for that, no beta reader for this.

2. I actually published this fic before in my livejournal but decided to put all my fics together in one place.

Summary: After the death of her parents Seohyun seeks comfort in her ex-boyfriend. What they didn't know was that their time spend together, will bring with it the most wonderful miracle nature is able to create. A new life. But decisions were made and someone was robbed from the opportunity to be part of the life of their little miracle. Five years later after their last encounter Yonghwa is surprise to find Seohyun again and with a little girl that looks a lot like her… and him...

Chapter - 1

Seohyun couldn't believe what her manager was telling her, she has just talked with her mother this morning. It was not happening… it was not happening. Not this way, not this soon.

"It can't be true" said Seohyun with a calmness she wasn't feeling at all.

Her manager just looked at her with his eyes full of pity. "I am sorry Seohyun… the driver of the truck was drunk and he didn't make the stop during the red light. The police told us it was a total lost"

"I can't believe you, I don't believe you!" Seohyun said with her voice full of feelings. She could hear her unnies crying behind her, why they were crying? It was not true. "I need to get back to Korea immediately I will prove you wrong; I just talked with my mother this morning." Seohyun looked around the room; the expression on her unnies is faces was not making it easy on her. She grabbed Tiffany is arm. "Unnie tell them, you were there when we talked this morning…" Seohyun is throat began to close, it was just too much. Tiffany was looking her in a way that only told her that she understand her and she did, her mother has died several years ago and she was the only one that could understand her.

Seohyun could feel her eyes brimming with tears. "Unnie it can't be true, not them". She couldn't help herself the tears began to fall one after the other, she just couldn't handle this it was too much, her dear parents couldn't have ended that way they were going to life until they were one hundred, she was going to take care of them when they were old just as they did with her when she was just a baby, this was not happening. Oh God, not them!

She began to cry her heart out; her sobs were the most heartbreaking thing her unnies has ever heard. Tiffany held her in a tight hug while crying with her. "Just let it out Hyunie"

Seohyun couldn't help it, her tears keep flowing like a river, she couldn't talk, she couldn't breathe, she was running out of oxygen, her mind was in denial but her heart knew the truth. She could feel deep inside they were not here anymore.

"I can't accept this. It can't be true; my mom is going to receive me in home with a bag of dried apples" She told between sobs, trying in vain to wipe her tears. "She knows that is my favorite snack, I just need to get back to Korea"

Tiffany just smiled her a very sad smile and that made Seohyun cry even more. In the distance she could hear Taeyeon, their very petite very strong leader taking charge of the situation, talking quietly with their manager making arrangement to get back to Korea.

"That is the earliest we can go?" asked Taeyeon a little louder that how she used to talk to their manager. Her eyes were really read and she keep wiping the corner of her eyes just trying to be as calm and collected as possible.

"We are making arrangement to rent a chartered plane to Korea; we will take it first thing in the morning" said their manager in general to the group. "Just pack your bags girls" He looked at Seohyun and said "I am really sorry Seohyun, just stay strong… Now I have to go, I need to cancel your most near schedules here in Japan, I will talk with you girls later."

Taeyeon just nodded and put the girls in action by giving directions. "Just pack the most basic things, Yoona help Sooyoung to pack Seohyun is bag. Yuri I will help you prepare something light to eat, the rest of you just begin to pack as light as possible." Taeyeon walked to the couch in which Tiffany was sitting with Seohyun now, she gave the crying girl a very tight hug and told her "Don't worry Seohyun you are not alone, we are here for you. Cry all you want as long as you want, we will take care of everything. Your unnies are here for you."


Yonghwa was trying to keep his cool but the last three days have been hell. He has been trying to contact Seohyun in vain. Leeteuk has called him the night of the accident to tell him what has happened. He has tried every available way he could but Seohyun was nowhere to be found, not until the funeral.

He had to fight the media high and low just to get inside the funeral house. It has been five years since their We Got Married appearance and two after their very public breakup, but they were still a very hot topic between reporters and their fans. If not for that incident maybe things wouldn't have ended the way they did between Seohyun and him. But "what ifs" are just myth and people needs to life with the consequence of their decision.

The first and only thing he noticed after entering the hall was the lone figure of Seohyun kneeling before her parents is coffins; her long hair was covering her face while she was holding a picture of her parents in her hands… It was the most heartbreaking thing he has ever seen; she looked so alone in a room full of people. Just like a lifeless doll, he couldn't take it. He needed to go to her and hold her and just take care of this fragile girl. His bright and strong willed Seohyun was no were to be found and it just broke his hearth.

Before he could take a step in Seohyun is direction he was grabbed by the arm by Taeyeon her eyes full of relieve and hope. "I am so glad you are here" said Taeyeon almost in a whisper her voice full of worry. "Seohyun is in a very bad condition, the last two days she had barely eat, she doesn't want to talk and the worst she just stopped crying" Taeyeon is voice broke in that moment "She is keeping all in and I am really worried for her" Her eyes were full of tears, the concern for the maknae was palpable. "I know that things between you too are not in the best condition, but you care about her and I know she care about, even if she is the one that ended everything… please just try to talk to her"

Yonghwa grabbed Taeyeon is hand and gave it a little squeeze "I will do my best". Yonghwa began to walk in Seohyun is direction, he acknowledge the other people in the room with an slight nod, her friends, sitting in the back of the hall just waiting… all SM was there Managers, Directors and all here fellow brothers and sisters from the company and even a few members of other groups.

He approached her slowly and kneeled before her in silence, he was waiting for some kind of reaction but nothing happened, so he put his fingers under her chin and very slowly make her look at him, for a few seconds it was like looking at an empty shell, a very strange chill run through his body as he waited in silence for her to recognize him.

The agony didn't last long because a lone tear slipped from her eyes. "Yonghwa" said Seohyun in a whisper. He gave her a sad smile and wiped the tear with his thumb. In silence he collected her in his arms and just gave her a very tight hug, there were no words to comfort her nothing he could say or do will bring her parents back, the only thing he could give her was his support. "Oppa… they are gone and now I am alone" said Seohyun between broken sobs as she hugged him back and he stroked her hair.

She couldn't help it she needed him, she knew it was wrong after all that had happened but she couldn't help to find comfort in his strong arms, everything was better when she was in his arms. Life didn't look so bleak and her heart could beat again.

"You are not alone Seohyun" said Yonghwa as he sat himself besides her keeping her in his embrace. "You have all of us; you know your unnies are worried for you, right?"

"I don't want people to worry about me" said Seohyun trying to wipe the tears that wouldn't stop falling while she was in Yonghwa is arms.

"But they do, we all do" said Yonghwa as he gave her a peck on her head.

It was not an intimate gesture just a friend giving comfort. Or that was what Seohyun was trying to tell her heart… to just believe that it was a gesture of affection from a friend. How she wished things were different.


Watching Seohyun talking with Yonghwa gave them hope. The Soshi girls have been trying everything in their power to bring Seohyun back from wherever she was but their love was not enough.

Taeyeon watched in silence as Yonghwa gave Seohyun a peck in the head. You could tell he still was deeply in love with Seohyun, it was so sad that things has ended the way they did, but hopefully this could be a new beginning for them. "I think it is time" said Taeyeon looking at the girls. "Sunny and Hyoyeon please find Changmin and Kyuhyun, tell them it is time"

Slowly the girls and the two boys filled the little platform that was beside the resting place of her parents.

Tiffany toke the microphone and said with a wobbly voice "Seohyun I know there are no words in the world to make you feel better" Tiffany wiped a tear from her face "But we think your parents will want to say this you… We have no words but we will let our hearts talk to you."

Note: Song from "Tercer Cielo" – Yo Te Extrañare (I will miss you). Translated lyrics by me. Listen to the song!

A soft melody began to play as one of the boys began to sing.

I will miss you ... be sure of that

Were so many beautiful and bad moments

That we live together

Seohyun couldn't help remember her time together with her parents as she sees her friends singing.

Details, small things

What seemed unimportant

Are those that invade my mind … when I remember you

How many sleepless nights her mother expend with her when she was sick, their time in different hospitals, the way her mother cried in silence thinking Seohyun was not awake. She knew she was sick and how hard she has prayed to God to get better so her mother wouldn't cry anymore. It has been very difficult years but their prayers were listened and Seohyun improved, she became a health freak, but no one knows how important health is. Just ask a parent with a sick child in the hospital or a person in his sick bed just waiting for a miracle.

Wish I could turn back the time, to see you again,

To give you a hug and never let you go

But I understand that your time has come

God has called you, to be by his side...

He wanted so

But I never thought, it will hurt so much...

Life indeed was precious and Seohyun wanted the opportunity to give back to her parents everything they have done for her. Taking care of them as they grew old was part of her plans. But now the important piece was missing and never coming back. She began to cry again, the tears just keep flowing and a lot more when her unnies began to sing the chorus of the song.

"Do not cry for me ... I'm in a place

Full of light ... where there is peace,

Where there is no evil, where I can rest

Do not cry for me ... it's so beautiful here, I never imagined,

I want you to be happy… to do well and

When is your time ... I hope to see you here ..."

She could see her unnies crying too, yes here parents will want her to be happy and move on as soon as possible but just for today, she was going to give herself the chance to feel all the pain and resentment and wrath about what happened, about how unfair life could be, about how she couldn't publicly love the only man she has ever loved and will love in her life.

I'll miss you ... be sure of that

To think that life can end in a second

Life is dust ... can spread in one moment,

You brought nothing, nothing you will take,

Just what was inside

The only thing that will stay with her forever is the memory of her parents, their love and support was her guiding light during her good and bad moments. She loved them so much and was thankful to them, I love you mommy and daddy.

Wish I could turn back the time, to see you again,

To give you a hug and never let you go

But I understand that your time has come

God has called you, to be by his side...

He wanted so

But I never thought, it will hurt so much...

Seohyun felt how Yonghwa tightened his hold on her, yes her feeling were so hurt but for a few moments she will let herself find comfort in Yonghwa is arms.

"Do not cry for me ... I'm in a place

Full of light ... where there is peace,

Where there is no evil, where I can rest

Do not cry for me ... it's so beautiful here, I never imagined,

I want you to be happy… to do well and

When is your time ... I hope to see you here ..."

I'll miss you ... be sure of that

As the song ended Seohyun found energy to stand up with the help of Yonghwa. She walked to the little platform and gave her unnies a really thigh hug, they stayed that way for a while crying together promising each other to never let go. "Hyunie we love you so much, don't scare us like that" said Tiffany while caressing Seohyun is hair.

"You are not alone we have each other forever, remember we promise, we will always be Girls Generation!" said Hyoyeon with their signature gesture, trying to cheer up everyone.

They laughed a little and for the first time, Seohyun showed the ghost of a smile. "Thank you unnies. It is time for me to say my part" Seohyun when up the little platform and toke the microphone. She whipped her remaining tear and with all the courage she could muster she began her little speech. "To my friends and family thank you so much for been her, this mean a lot to me…" Seohyun looked to where her parents is coffins were and began to talk again " As some of you know I was a very sick child, I spend a lot of my childhood in the hospital, but thanks to my parents…" Seohyun was crying again she couldn't help herself, but she will end her speech. She took a deep breath and with wobbly voice she continued "my parents were always there for me they never gave up on me and taught me that the greatest things in life are achieved with hard work and perseverance. I will take their teachings with me… this is their legacy and I plan to life up to their speciation."

Seohyun whipped her tears with the back of her hand. "My only regret will always be not been able to take care of the two when you grew older. I promise to keep myself healthy so you don't have to worry about me, I have my unnies and my friends and… I hope that up there you will be proud of your daughter" Seohyun gave their portrait in front of their coffins a kiss and said "Mommy, Daddy I love you with all my hearth".

Everyone in the room was quite and crying in silence as Seohyun moved around the platform collecting her parents is pictures. She went down the platform and Yonghwa was waiting for her with open arms.

They were not going anywhere she knew that, but she couldn't help herself again she found herself in Yonghwa is arms. Finding comfort in his embrace, in the way he whispered encouraging words in her ear… he was all that she wanted and more…


Without Yonghwa she couldn't be certain of how she will have survived the rest of the day, the caravan to the burial ground was a total chaos, the reporters were everywhere and Yonghwa have to physically take some people out of the way to make room for them. At some point he had to lift her and carry her the rest of the way to the car. Luckily the body guards interfered before the reporters could get to the car.

He went with her in the car, following the burial procession. In the cemetery, a few last words were said by friends and family of her parents before they were put together to rest. She stayed until the last moment, crying her hearth out for the last time but luckily during the whole process Yonghwa took hold of her right hand never let go. It was such a nice feeling, to know that someone is there for you no matter what… If only…

As they were preparing to depart the burial ground their manager came to announce them that the media was wild outside the cemetery. Seohyun couldn't muster the energy to confront them so a plan was made.

"Seohyun you will go with Yonghwa in Yunho is car, we will keep the media entertained with a few declarations so you can get out trough the other entrance." said Taeyeon confidently to the group in general.

"You better bring her save to our dorm or you are death Jung Yonghwa" said Sooyoung in a menacing tone.

Yonghwa just smiled a little at the comment and said "Don't worry, she is safe in my hands" He grabbed her hand, and keys in hand began their way to Yunho is car. Yonghwa opened the passenger door for her and let her in. "I will take you to your dorm in no time" said Yonghwa while igniting the car.

"I don't want to go to the dorm" said Seohyun looking out the window.

Yonghwa looked at her in silence, her sadness was a palpable thing and he wanted to do anything to make her feel better. "Where do you want to go?"

"Can we hang out at your place" said Seohyun while moving to look at him; her next words were stuck in her throat as she saw the way he was looking at her. She knew that look as the palm of her hand, that deep meaningful look that could make any woman swoon in the spot. But not her, she was not any woman, but she wanted him badly.

How many times in the past she surrendered to that look, how many nights they shared together just enjoying each other is company, their hands exploring each other is deepest secrets, to gain the bittersweet glory of been together for a while… Just to be separated the next morning for long periods of time. How she missed him… How much she didn't want to be alone that night, how unfair life was with her… She just wanted a moment, a moment of comfort in his arms… she didn't want to feel alone, not tonight… Just this time, just this once I will think of myself first.

"Are you sure" asked Yonghwa as he took the main road. He stopped in a red light and watched as the last rays of sun caressed her face. He wanted to touch her so badly, but he have to keep his head clear, nothing could happen between them, for a moment in the burial ground he indulged himself in the memory of them together. But now was not the moment, Seohyun was going through a difficult time and he must take care of her from others and from herself.

She looked at him briefly, he couldn't decipher that look in her eyes it was just too quick. "Yes, I am sure, Yonghwa"...

Author 's note:

OMGEEE my first YongSeo fic and in English. English is not my mother language so sorry for any mistakes.

I am so excited, I have written fics before but in Spanish and for another fandom… so this is totally new to me. I have this story in my head for a very long time. And today I decided to give it a try, It took me a lot of time to write directly in English it is difficult for me, I just hope there are not too many grammatical errors… Even in Spanish I am bad at grammar, just imagine in English. And I know the cliffy is no good but the summary is self explanatory…. I am just wondering if I should make it a light lemon or something more explicit… uhmmm I can't decide.

So what do you think, I want to know if the flow is good and if you like the idea. I know the beginning of this it pretty depressing but don't worry it will get lighter in future chapters… I have a heavy tendency to melodrama so sorry for the depressing beginning.

About the song, It is a beautiful song. I love it!

Comment and suggestions are welcome. Pretty Please with a goguma on top!