.com/albums/w34/auntie_
Title: Don't Give Up On Me
Author: Zia
Rating: Teen
Disclaimer: Roswell, nor its characters belong to me.
Summary: A death, and a birth. Everyone deals with the tragedy. AU-ish. Future Fic. Tess left, Alex never died. There is some minor UC pairing mentioned.
He hated the rain. As a child, he'd spent many nights sleeping in it. Yet, here he was, standing in it. Not moving. Just staring. "Michael." He heard her soft voice over a clap of thunder. "Michael, baby, come on." He turned and saw Maria there, drenched.
"Let's get you inside." He said and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Once in the car Michael turned the heat on full and watched Maria hold her hands up against the vent. Absorbing the warmth. "You're going to get sick," he sighed.
"I'm fine." She told him.
"I know." He sighed again and turned down the street towards his apartment. They got out and he followed her inside. "Why don't you take a bath." He told her. "Warm up, and I'll make you some tea."
Maria shook her head. "Michael, you just need to stop."
"Stop what?"
"Hiding. This is me. You're just with me now. I'm not expecting you to be strong, or to do anything for me. Break down. Do that for me. Have a complete meltdown, and it'll be okay, cause I'm here to pick up the pieces."
"I can't." He told her.
"Why not?"
"Because the last time I did... you threw me out."
"That was different." Maria protested.
"Bullshit Maria. I needed you! I never planned this! I didn't ask for this! She threw it at me, and it happened, and you have punished me for it ever since."
"That was different." She whispered again, staring at him.
"NO! It isn't! I needed you then, more than I need you now."
Maria stared at him for a long moment, then sighed. "I'm going home now." She picked up her purse and walked out of his apartment.
Michael watched her leave, and he bowed his head. Now he was alone. He didn't know what to do alone. He hadn't been alone since...
He ran his hands over his face angrily. Why did he let her leave? "Maria." He sighed and started to go after her, but when he got outside she was already speeding away.
Maria rushed into the house, and threw her purse on the floor by the door. "He is such an asshole." She hissed.
"Maria?" Amy called from the kitchen.
"Yeah."
"Did Michael come with you?"
"No... he's an asshole." Maria said and walked into the kitchen. She heard Amy sigh. "Let me have him." Maria held her arms out, and Amy easily passed the sleeping infant to her daughter.
"How is Michael?"
"Shutting me out." Maria rocked the baby boy in her arms and pressed her lips against the top of his head.
"This has to be hard for him."
"I know that mom, but he ... needs to just be able to break down. And he won't. He yelled at me."
"How come?" Amy asked moving to the stove. She placed the tea kettle on the burner, and grabbed two mugs from the cabinet.
"Because, I'm there?" Maria offered. "Because he has every right to be angry with me."
Amy frowned and grabbed two tea bags. "You have done nothing but help him since-"
"Not at the beginning. In the beginning of all of this, I was horrible to him. I blamed him, I treated him horribly, he needed my help, he came asking for my help, and I threw him out. I shut him out. And I wouldn't listen."
"He needs to let that go."
"He can't. Not yet, not now."
Amy dropped the tea bags in the mugs and as soon as the kettle began to whistle she poured the water into the mugs. "You've been good to him."
"Yeah, tell him that." Maria scoffed, and then froze, the child in her arms, face scrunched up, eyes opened for a second, he fussed, then he let out a sigh and was asleep again. "He hates me now."
"You and I both know that he loves you."
"I am not so sure of that anymore." Amy set the mug down at the table where Maria had seated herself.
"Just help him get through this."
"I don't think I can." Maria shook her head, and looked down at the sleeping little boy.
"Even for him?" Amy gestured to the boy in Maria's arms.
"Don't put him in the middle of this."
"Maria, he isn't in the middle, he is everything. Michael needs you now. He can't do this alone."
"I know." She whispered. Maria touched his forehead lightly. "I love him. Both of them."
"Then you need to forgive him."
"I already did!" Maria hissed.
"No, you haven't. You're here, instead of being there, with him."
"He is the one that yelled at me! Told me he didn't need me."
"He is hurt, Maria."
"And I'm not?"
Amy sighed, and took the sleeping child from her daughter's arms. "I never said that."
"Mom-"
"Why don't you just go home." Amy suggested.
"You're kicking me out?" Maria scoffed.
"I just think it would do you a world of good to go home and think about everything."
Maria stood up annoyed. "Don't you realize, that is all I ever do anymore. Think. Think about what happened to Isabel. What happened to the life I used to have. The dreams. What is going to happen, to Michael, to James." She shook her head. "I'll see you later." She grabbed her purse on the way out the door and quickly drove back to her small apartment. Everything was still mostly in boxes, she had only moved in a few months earlier. After her life went up in smoke.
Maria walked inside and fell back onto the couch. She stared up at the ceiling, before curling up on her side and closing her eyes tightly.
Maria was in the kitchen, making spaghetti for dinner. She expected that Michael would be home any minute, and she wanted to surprise him. She has aced the exam she had been cramming for all week. She had made him go over and over her notes with her. Quiz her. Test her. She knew he was annoyed.
"Maria."
She heard him call as the front door opened. "In the kitchen." She called back, and turned around.
"We need to talk." Maria stared at him.
"What happened?" She had this fear in the pit of her stomach. This really bad feeling, that he was going to give her some really bad news. "What's going on?"
"Baby, you may want to sit-"
"Tell me." Maria demanded, cross her arms over her chest, standing her ground. She wasn't moving till he told her what was going on.
"Isabel is pregnant."
"That's great. I'm sure Alex is thrilled. Why is that a bad thing?"
"Because... it isn't Alex's."
"Whose is it?" Her voice cracked.
"I didn't sleep with her, apparently, Tess was wrong about the whole 'you can't get pregnant in a dream' thing."
"You've been having dreams about her again!?" Maria stared at him.
"Maria-"
"Why didn't you tell me!" Maria threw her hands up in the air.
"I wanted to... but I thought it would just go away!"
Maria shook her head. "You are such an asshole! Get out!" She pointed towards the door. "Get the hell out!"
"Maria-" He watched as Maria grabbed the wooden spoon sitting on the stove and threw it at him as hard as she could.
"Get out!" She screamed.
Maria sat up with a start, her cell phone was ringing in her ear. She grabbed it and flipped it open. "Hello?" She asked drowsily. But all she heard was silence. She pulled the phone back from her ear and looked at the number. Michael. "Michael? Are you okay? What's going on?"
"I'm so sorry, Maria." His voice was broken.
"I'll be over in a minute, okay?" She hung up and grabbed her keys and shoved her feet in her shoes. Maria grabbed her purse and walked out to her car, and drove quickly back to the apartment she used to share with Michael. She let herself in and found him sitting on the kitchen floor. "What are you doing?" She asked him, and then spotted the empty bottle of tequila sitting next to him. "Damn it, Michael." She hissed and knelt in front of him. She cupped his face, and lightly stroked his cheek. "Michael." She whispered.
He looked up at her and blinked. "I am sorry."
"I know you are. I know you didn't mean for it to happen."
"Do you forgive me?"
"There isn't anything to forgive. You didn't want it."
"I did."
"What?" She sat back a little and looked at him.
"I mean, I wanted it, but, with you." He ran his hands through his hair. "I was going to propose to you. I'd bought the ring and everything. I was going to ask you on our anniversary..." He trailed off. "And then Isabel told me she was pregnant. And we knew that we couldn't lie. We had to tell you the truth."
"I'm sorry." Maria told him softly.
"Michael." Isabel walked into the diner, her arms were wrapped around herself.
"What's up?" He asked as he flipped another burger.
"I'm pregnant." She told him quietly, he froze, and she saw his back stiffen. "You were having the dreams too, weren't you?"
"I thought they would just go away..." Michael looked at her. "Are you sure?"
Isabel nodded. "Yeah..."
"Have you told Alex yet?"
"I'm afraid to... I'm afraid he'll yell at me. That he'll hate me."
"He loves you, he'll probably be upset, but he loves you." He dropped his spatula. "Me on the other hand... Maria will never forgive me for this."
"She loves you too." Isabel tried to reassure him.
"I know she does... but Isabel, the last time this happened, I nearly lost Maria over it, and you weren't actually pregnant. But this time..."
"That's why you tell her the truth, you tell her everything. I can't stand the thought of you loosing her because of what we are."
Michael glanced at her, and ran his hands over his face. "It'll be okay."
Maria had put Michael to bed, carefully tucked him in, and kissed his cheek and then she shut off the light and walked out of the bedroom. She sighed as she walked back into the living room. It was completely trashed. Maria was at a loss. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to help Michael. She grabbed a garbage bag and started cleaning up. Picking up the broken things and throwing them into the bag.
Within an hour she had picked everything up, the living room was some semblance of clean, and sunk down onto the couch. It was the middle of the night, she was exhausted. And she knew that she had to get up in the morning, and go to pick up James from her mom's house, she just wanted to get a little bit of sleep.
She curled up on her side and pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and tugged it over her head. She was asleep within moments, but wasn't asleep for long.
"Maria..." Michael had made his way into the living room. She was here, right? He stopped for a moment and his eyes refocused and he saw her laying on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket.
"Michael?" Maria sat up quickly and looked at him, she ran her hands through her hair and stared at him. "Are you okay? You should be sleeping. Did you drink that whole bottle?" She was confused as to where he got the alcohol. He never drank, and neither did she, so why was there alcohol in the apartment? She saw him shrug and she stood up. "Are you even sober?"
"Yes." He told her, then scratched his eyebrow. "Why are you here?"
"You called me. Why don't you go back to bed, Michael."
"Do you hate me?" He asked her, walking over and sitting down in one of the chairs.
"Why would I hate you?"
"I ruined everything for you. All the plans you had..."
"No, you didn't-"
"Yes, I did." Michael insisted. "You wanted to get married, and have kids, and finish college, and... you had all these plans, and I ruined them. Again."
"Michael." Maria shook her head and walked over to where he sat and knelt down in front of him. "You didn't. You didn't ruin anything."
"I got her pregnant."
"You didn't plan on it, you didn't cheat on me. Okay, so I was pissed, and I'm sorry for how I reacted. But you never told me you were having the dreams again, and if I'd known, I might have been better prepared for what could happen. So I think I earned the right to be angry with you. Because, you lied to me by not telling me, you lied."
"I'm sorry." He whispered.
"I know that. I know you didn't want it, you didn't mean for it to happen. You shouldn't have to be sorry."
They sat in silence for a long time. Maria had reached up and slid her hand into his. Holding it gently, rubbing her thumb lightly over his knuckles. Neither moved for what seemed like an eternity.
"I'm afraid for James..." Michael admitted to her.
"James will be just fine, he has all of us... you and me, and my mom, and Alex, and Liz and Max. Kyle. We're all here, and we'll make sure that he knows all about his mother, what a good person she was, and how much she loved him."
"But, what right did we have, bringing him into this world. He's going to go through the same shit we did. Being the outcast. Having to hide who he is."
"He'll be okay." Maria told him. "Michael, that little boy, has something that none of you ever had. People to actually be there for him, from the beginning. Someone to raise him, to teach him. If he has the same abilities as you, then you'll be there to help him. He'll have people he won't have to pretend with. James will be just fine. After all. You're his father."
Michael lifted his head and looked at her. "Why are you always here for me?"
"Because, I love you, and you are my best friend."
It was early in the afternoon, Maria glanced in her rear view mirror at James, sleeping soundly in his car seat. Then at the house before her. The house that Alex had shared with Isabel for years. She hadn't seen Alex since the funeral, and she knew he was falling to pieces. She just hoped that maybe, for the sake of the son of the woman he loved, he would try to put himself back together. She climbed out and carefully lifted the sleeping infant into her arms and then made her way up to the door.
Maria rang the doorbell and waited. After several long minutes she heard him inside, making his way to the door. It swung open and she stared at him. Unshaven. Still wearing the clothes from the funeral. His hair was a mess. He was a mess. "Alex." She whispered. He just blinked at her. She sighed and walked past him into the house. It was a mess too. Stuff of Isabel's was everywhere.
She walked into the kitchen and Alex followed her. He sunk down on a stool at the counter, and Maria took in the disaster of the kitchen. There were dirty dishes in the sink. Broken glass on the floor. "Alexander Charles Whitman." Maria chastised him. Apparently, he had used the same method Michael had of trying to deal with his pain. And here she was, picking up the pieces of his life too. "Hold him." Maria said walking towards him.
"What?" His voice sounded raw.
"You either hold him, or you clean this mess up."
Alex stared down at the child in her arms. "I can't."
"Yes, you can." Maria moved closer, and grabbed one of his arms, and forced him to take the sleeping infant. "This little boy is part of Isabel. The woman you love. You're going to have to have a hand in raising him. She wouldn't have had it any other way. She wanted you to be his father. I know that. And you will be one of them."
"I yelled at her." His voice was quiet, barely a whisper.
"So did I." Maria sighed.
"But...she was my girlfriend, and..."
"She knew you loved her."
"No she didn't." Alex shook his head. "I told her-" His voice broke, and Maria saw the tears rolling down his face.
"Alex, she knew that you loved her. No matter what. So you got into a fight... things were good at the end."
"That doesn't change-"
"We've all said things that we wish we could take back. I accused her of trying to take Michael away from me, when I know damn good and well she never wanted him, she always wanted you. She was one of my best friends, and... I said really mean things to her too. But we were there with her..." Maria felt the tears forming behind her eyes and blinked quickly.
It had been such a horrible day. Isabel had gone into labor, of course they couldn't go to the hospital. Maybe they should have anyways. They had all been there, holding her hand, helping her, talking to her. Even Amy was there, trying to help.
"You'll be fine." Maria told her from where she sat next to Isabel's bed. "You're baby is going to be okay too. Everything will be just fine."
"I never meant-" Isabel let out a quiet sob.
"I know." Maria squeezed her hand. "I'm so sorry for all the things..."
"You had every right."
"No, I didn't." Maria shook her head, and winced at the force of Isabel squeezing her hand. "Contraction?"
"Hurts." Isabel gasped. "Alex..?"
"I'll get him."
"You were one of my best friends." Isabel told her as Maria headed for the bedroom door.
Maria gave her a smile. "I still am. We'll be okay." She told her, then ventured down the hall. Alex was pacing the living room. "She wants you." She said and watched as he practically sprinted down the hallway.
Alex looked at Maria, and the tears rolling down her face. "Everyone is falling apart, without her here." She cried softly. "I don't know how to fix everyone!" Maria suddenly threw the glass she'd had in her hand across the kitchen, it shattered against the wall with a loud crash, instantly waking up James, who began to scream.
Alex shifted the child in his arms, then stood up, and started rocking him as he walked into the living room. Maria listened as the child screamed, then heard Alex's soft voice singing. Moments later James had calmed down, and Alex walked back into the room.
"Do you mind watching him, so I can go take a shower?" Alex asked her, and Maria nodded taking the child. But before Alex moved away completely, he hugged Maria tightly, and kissed her cheek. "You know I love you, right?"
She smiled a little, and nodded. "Me too." She told him. Alex looked at her for a moment before walking down the hall to the bathroom, leaving her alone in the kitchen again. She held James with one arm, while she picked up various things, and threw stuff in the garbage, trying to help clean some of the mess.
Alex stood under the spray of the hot water, and cried. He sobbed. The love of his life was gone. He wasn't sure how to function without her. But that little boy. He had her eyes. He grabbed the shampoo and quickly washed his hair. He honestly couldn't remember the last shower he had taken. Two weeks earlier, Isabel had died. And it had been two days? Three? Since the funeral. He couldn't remember. He had simply sat on the couch, and hadn't moved. He didn't remember eating. Or drinking anything. He had mostly just slept. Dreamed of her. Their lives had been going so well, they had bought the house together. Plans to get married in a few years. Alex was still in school, taking several courses, Isabel was going to school part time, while working as a secretary at her dad's firm.
Everything was going according to plan.
And then she told him she was pregnant. He was thrilled at the idea. Not exactly according to a plan, he'd wanted to wait, but, that was okay. She was going to be the mother of his children. Until she told him that it was Michael's. Of course his first reaction, shock, disbelief. Anger. He'd yelled and screamed, accused her of doing something he knew she never would do.
The things he'd said. He would never forgive himself for those words.
Alex climbed out of the shower, and stared at his reflection. He looked ragged. He didn't remember the last time he'd shaved. He grabbed his razor, and then froze, just staring at it. It was the old kind, with the real razors. It had been one of the few 'manly' gifts his dad ever gave him. Isabel had always liked to watch him shave. She would sit on the counter, and smile, and just watch him.
Two weeks ago he'd pulled the blade out. Held it to his wrist. And he just sat there. For hours. Not moving. With the sharp edge pressed against his skin. In the distance he'd heard his phone ringing. But chose to ignore it. He must have dozed off, because he remembered Isabel. Her chastising him. Yelling at him for wanting to kill himself, when he had friends and family that loved him. He got up and walked back down to the bathroom and put the blade back in the razor and stuffed it back in the medicine cabinet, next to Isabel's stuff. Her perfumes. Vitamins, toothpaste. Her toothbrush. A hair clip.
He shook himself from his memory and looked back in the mirror and carefully, methodically began shaving his face. Once he was done he looked almost human. He had his towel wrapped around his waist as he opened the door and stared down the hall. Their bedroom. He hadn't been in there since.... It was where she died. She took her final breath.
"James Michael Whitman." She whispered with a smile, hearing her child crying. She looked down and saw him in Amy's arms, as she wrapped a small blanket around him. Isabel squeezed Alex's hand gently. "Love you." She whispered, and then her eyes slid shut.
For a moment, everyone believed she was exhausted. Just tired. Sleeping. Then at once they all realized she wasn't breathing. They all did everything they could. But it was all in vain. She was dead. Alex hadn't gone back in their bedroom since. His mother had pulled his suit out of the closet for him. Slowly he walked down the hall and opened the door. The bed had been remade, clean fresh sheets. That wouldn't smell like her. But she was everywhere in the room. Pictures of her. Her clothes. Everything. Little bits and pieces of her.
Damn, he missed her. Slowly he got dressed and then walked back down the hall, and found Maria sitting at the kitchen table, smiling down at James. "Do you want to leave him here?"
"Can I?" She asked.
"Yeah." Alex nodded and raked his fingers through his hair. "Do you have his stuff?"
"It's in the car." Maria handed the baby back to her friend and rushed out to her car to grab his diaper bag. She brought it back in and saw him just staring at the boy.
"I don't know if I can do this."
"Do what?"
"Take care of him... I don't know anything about kids."
"If you need anything, you can call me, or my mom." Alex looked at her and nodded. "His formula is in the bag, he'll probably be hungry soon. Just mix it like it says on the package. There are diapers, and everything in there. His toys and clean clothes."
"Do you think I can do this?"
"I know that you can." Maria walked over and kissed Alex's cheek, and then James' forehead.
"I'm scared." Alex told her as she headed for the door.
"I know..." Maria sighed. "Me too. It'll be... fine. You're going to be a great dad." Maria gave him a little wave. "Bye." She said and walked out the door. She closed it quietly behind her and walked out to her car.
Alex watched Maria pull away and drive down the street. He looked down at James and couldn't help but smile, just a little. He was so small, but so beautiful. Isabel had loved him. She had wanted nothing but the best. James was staring up at him, with Isabel's soft eyes. "Your mom, she loved you." Alex felt tears sting his eyes. "She really, really did."
He walked down the hallway, there were pictures hanging all over. Of Isabel, of himself, of them together. Of their friends. Alex pointed to one of his favorite pictures of Isabel. "That's your mom. She was so beautiful." He continued down the hallway to the door at the end. "This is your room." He pushed open the door, to what used to be his office, but over the last few months he and Isabel had converted it into a nursery. The walls were painted a soft blue, and decorated with stars, and a large moon. The ceiling was covered with glow in the dark stars. The perfect little haven for an alien baby. "I hope you'll like it."
Maria headed for the Crashdown. She hadn't talked to Liz in a few days, and wondered how she and Max were holding up. She walked inside and saw Liz sitting in a booth, drinking a cup of coffee. "Hey."
"Hey." Liz glanced up. "How are you?"
"Crappy." Maria shrugged and slid into the booth beside her. One of the waitresses brought Maria a cup of coffee, and Maria poured a hefty amount of sugar into it. "Fought with Michael. He got drunk," Liz's eyes went wide. "Yeah, trashed the apartment. So I spent most of last night cleaning that up. I just took James over to Alex's. I don't think he'd moved since the funeral. He was still in his suit."
"Oh, poor Alex, I tried calling him, but... he wouldn't answer."
"I'm not surprised. He trashed his house too. But I got him to get up, take a shower. James is with him. I think Alex will be okay. He just needs some time. He'll take care of James. He'll do this for him... for Isabel." Maria sipped her coffee. "How is Max?"
"Not so great either. Pretty upset. He's been hanging out with his parents a lot. They're all grieving." Liz sighed. "I miss her."
"Me too." Maria heard her phone ringing and yanked it out of her purse. "Hello?"
"Maria, could you come by?" Maria heard Michael's voice through the phone.
"Of course, Michael. I'll be right there." Maria looked at Liz across the table as she hung up her phone. "I've gotta go."
"You're still running to him?"
"Of course I am. I love him. I'm doing exactly what you would do if it were you and Max going through this." Maria was a little surprised by her friend. She had always judged Michael. And so often when they were younger Maria had let Liz's words influence her. But now she knew better. She and Michael were nothing like Max and Liz. "You forgave Max for sleeping with Tess. Michael never slept with anyone else. Ever."
"I know that." Liz sighed. "Its just that you and Michael, all these years-"
"All these years we've fought. And we've made up. We have our problems, what couple doesn't? I don't expect perfection, and to never fight with him. He pisses me off, he can be an asshole sometimes. But the things he's done over the years, the way he's tried, and works so hard to do right by me. He is my perfect match. I need him to tell me when I'm being a bitch, or overreacting, just like he needs me to help him pick up the pieces." Maria slid out of the booth. "We aren't you and Max. We don't have the standard fairy tale romance. But, he really is my fairy tale prince. I wouldn't change him for anything. I'll talk to you later."
Maria let herself into Michael's apartment, he was in the kitchen. "I wanted to make you dinner... but, I don't have any food." He looked at her with a frown on his face.
"That's okay, Michael." She walked over and sat down on the stool at the bar. "What's up?"
"I love you." He told her, his voice was raw. He nearly sounded surprised that the words were coming out of his mouth.
"I know you do." Maria tilted her head to the side and looked at him. "What is this all about Michael?"
"I miss you. You... are this amazing person, and you've always been there for me. Sometimes I've taken you for granted. But I really don't know what I would do without you. Especially right now. You've always cleaned up my messes. Not the way Max did. You never made me feel guilty about who I am. You accepted me for who, and what I am. You loved me."
"I still love you."
"I know you do. And sometimes, I think I don't deserve you. I wonder, why are you still here? How could you want to stay with someone like me? And then, then I see the things in your head, and how you feel about me. It amazes me."
"Are you drunk?" Maria asked him, a little surprised. He wasn't ever this vocal about his feelings. The last time he had been like this was right before he'd nearly gone back to his home planet.
"No." He scoffed and scratched his eyebrow. "I miss you Maria. Come home. I need you here, I need help when I have James. I can't do this by myself. And I need you."
Maria chewed on her lip. She wasn't sure if she was ready for that. She wasn't sure how to respond. "Michael..." She stood up and held her hand out to him. "Come lay down with me." She tugged on his hand and pulled him down the hall to their bedroom. Maria crawled up onto the bed, and Michael stretched out beside her, his arms instantly surrounded her. She snuggled into his side, and rested her head on his chest. He pressed his lips against the top of her head, holding her tightly.
"Sleep, baby."
Maria nodded slightly, she was exhausted. It only took seconds for her to drift off to sleep. Michael laid there just watching her. Glad to have her back in his arms.
A little while later, Michael heard Maria's phone ringing in the other room. Carefully he disentangled himself from her and walked into the kitchen. He glanced down at her phone. Alex. "Hey." He said, after flipping it open.
There was a pause. "Michael?"
"Yeah." Michael replied, and then heard James shrieking through the phone. "Whats up?"
"James won't stop crying. I fed him, changed him. I don't know what to do. Where is Maria?"
"Asleep." Michael frowned.
"No, I'm not." Maria's drowsy voice was beside him making him jump. She took the phone from Michael. "What's wrong?" Alex quickly repeated to her what he had done. "Did you burp him?" There was a long pause.
"Oh." Maria heard the phone shifting, the crying got louder for a moment. She could hear Alex patting James' back, and then she heard a little burp. The crying stopped. "Thank you, Maria."
"Any time, Alex." Maria hung up the phone and looked up at Michael.
"You're going to be a great mom." She smiled a little. "The best. James is lucky to have you. You're the only mom he's going to know." Suddenly Maria could feel the air change. The air was charged with Michael's anger. "Why did she have to die?!" He exploded. Maria glanced around quickly, looking for something that might explode. But nothing did. She watched as he sunk down onto the stool. "I don't have any right to be angry with her. She didn't want to die. But I'm just so mad. James isn't going to know her. Alex is... how bad is he?"
"He's bad. But he's trying really hard, for James. For Isabel." Maria stepped between Michael's legs and wrapped her arms around him.
"You never answered me, about moving back."
"I know." She said quietly.
"So is that a no?"
"No." Maria looked up at him and sighed. "It's... I don't know, right this second. I want to. I miss you so much, I miss being with you. I miss sleeping in your arms at night. I think I just need a little time. But you know I'll be here whenever you need me. If you need any help with James, or anything..." Maria cupped his face. "I love you, Michael. I'll come home. Just... give me a little time."
Michael nodded faintly, and tightened his arms around her waist. "Thank you." He told her.
Maria leaned in closer and pressed her lips gently against his. "You're welcome."
Michael rested his forehead against hers and sighed. "What are we going to do with James? We don't have the room for him here. How are we going to work out the custody? I know that Alex will want him too."
"He does. We'll figure that out, for now we'll just play by ear." Maria glanced around the apartment she had shared with Michael for years. "We're just going to have to get a bigger place. How is that, we start looking for a bigger place, and when we find it, that's when I come home."
Michael smiled at her. Just a hint of one. "I'll start looking immediately."
Maria felt her own lips turn up into a small smile as well. It felt good to smile. And she knew that over the years in the future, they would find more things to to happy for, to be sad about. But they would get through it all, together.
