Chapter 1
"Officer Duquesne, is there still a problem?"
"No... Uhm... There's not. How are you doing?"
"Without Joel, I can't afford to stay."
"Well, that's why I'm here. This is for you."
"What is all this?"
"It is the money that Joel found in the vent. It is 26,000 dollars. According to Florida statute 705, if... money is found and reported, the rightful owner has an opportunity to claim it and if they don't, then it belongs to the person who reported it."
"But... I never reported it."
"Well, as it turns out, Joel did. He must have been a really good man."
"All this money... I'm sure somebody'll be coming after it."
"Not this time. Take it, start over."
"Thank you so much."
"You don't have to thank me."
The blonde silently closed her emerald green eyes and sighed, deeply. Without thinking, her left hand wandered down to her abdomen, which she gently rubbed. Her eyes reopened in thought. It had felt pretty odd to feel another woman's baby kick against her own womb. Sure, she sometimes let the thought of pregnancy and babies cross her mind. Though, to her, it felt like she couldn't have that with her job at the same time, and she didn't want to choose. She loved her job as CSI Ballistics, dearly. It wasn't only a job to her, but it was part of her life as well. Her passion. Her social life, too. It hadn't been until that afternoon Calleigh Duquesne had almost literally felt it burning down there, the sudden urge to be pregnant and feel her own child, kicking inside her womb, trying to play a little soccer. To share it with the love of her life, like Mrs. Bowen. She, however, would have to deal with it all herself now her husband Joel had been murdered and buried. Calleigh's hand slid down on the bed again and she sighed for the second time in barely a minute time. The love of her life, huh?
Her gaze fell aside, as a soft breeze swept into the bedroom, lifting a couple of loose blond strands from her neck to place them back over her shoulder with care. She couldn't bring it up to smile, though she had to admit Eric could be particularly cute whilst asleep, and she had been moved by that in the beginning – which was a couple of months before at that point… when the two of them still divided their time between talking and the physical. This stage of their relationship didn't seem to have place for both anymore. Their day started with getting up and taking turns in the bathroom, eating breakfast separately while the other was in the bathroom, then driving to work together without words, since the radio usually played, and by arrival at CSI being separated for mostly all day. The two of them used to shower and have breakfast together, and have lunch in town. Some part of Calleigh missed that, and another felt relieved that they weren't always together anymore. She'd sometimes experienced it as suffocating.
They rarely drove home together anymore, whereas they used to wait for each other in the beginning. Now, there was always something the one or the other wanted to finish up before going home, it seemed. This meant they rarely had their dinner together as well. Well, dinner... Lately all they seemed to eat after work was drive-through food. Who wouldn't prefer it over cooking just for yourself? Sometimes, but very rarely lately, they went to town to eat dinner together there. When the couple was home, only the necessary words still seemed to be involved – just enough not to make it feel awkward. They mostly talked about work.
When day stood aside for night, they took turns in the bathroom again before going to bed, with Eric seeing only to his needs in minutes, before falling asleep before her and waking up in the morning together to have the same pattern start again. At least they woke up together.
Calleigh got up and left the bedroom to get something to drink. Her throat felt particularly dry. She thought she understood, with Ivan, Eric's real father, causing trouble and tension. Soon, she was standing in front of the sink, a glass of water in her hand. She brought it up to her lips and gently took a little sip, closing her eyes as she felt the colorless liquid slide down her throat, into her empty stomach. Empty. She swallowed and laid her free hand across her flat tummy. It would most likely never be any different. She put down the used glass and headed back to the bedroom where she found Eric unsurprisingly still asleep. He hadn't even noticed the empty spot beside him.
Instead of settling back next to him, Calleigh carefully took her pillow and dragged herself to the couch, in which she threw her heavy pillow and crashed down on. She eyed the television remote right in front of her on the low glass table, picked it up to turn on the television and zap through some channels to settle on an old rerun of The West Wing in the end. She smiled as she pulled up the blanket and made herself comfortable under it. She would fall asleep with the remote in hand, to be woken by her boyfriend in the morning. Half an hour later, they drove to work together in silence, as usual, listening to the weather forecast. It would be another sunny day in Miami, it seemed.
Since Eric had been called in on a new crime scene on their way, he had dropped his girlfriend off at work and gone to join Natalia, who was already present at the crime scene. Calleigh was on her way to the break room to get herself a cup of strong coffee – maybe that would help her feel more awake – when she bumped in a tall red haired figure on his way out, dark sunglasses in hand. "Calleigh?" he spoke, steadying her on her feet as she stood lightly swaying from the collision and noticed her absent behavior almost immediately. "Calleigh, what's wrong?" he asked, all signs of hurry suddenly gone from both his behavior and words.
She looked up at him tiredly. "I'm fine," she lied.
"What's wrong?" Horatio repeated in a more serious, though not really less kind tone, ignoring her words as if she hadn't spoken. He could see past her words of reassurance after all these years with her in his team.
"I'm fine," she told him in a hoarse tone, walking past him towards her lab. Horatio, however, gently caught her wrist and turned her back to him. She blinked a couple of times rapidly. Horatio understood she was struggling not to cry in front of him.
Without thinking, her hands came to his sides, and she rested her forehead against his shoulder, sighing. Horatio stood there for a moment before pulling his arms around her. This wasn't entirely something Lieutenant Caine usually condoned for his employees to say it right, nor anything Detective Duquesne would have allowed herself if she had been so fine. Horatio easily ignored the gazes directed towards him and Calleigh wrapped up in the long corridor.
The two of them stood there like that for a little while, just holding onto each other, when Calleigh backed off and tried to give him her best smile before turning around to head along to her lab, her sanctuary. Halfway, she spun around on her heels to eye Horatio still standing there, concern etched into his light blue eyes. "Thank you," Calleigh whispered, softly, barely loud enough for him to hear.
He nodded once, then turned around as well when she'd turned the corner and he couldn't see her anymore. He'd go and check up on Bullet Girl when he arrived back at the lab. Horatio thought she might need some private time. He'd give her the chance, but she didn't have to talk about anything if she didn't want to.
It wasn't until a good two hours later that the redhead got back, having left Natalia and Eric at the scene to collect pieces of evidence, and found his ballistics expert again.
Horatio already found her in the gun range – his first guess to where she could possibly be – which actually alarmed him immediately. There wasn't any unfinished ballistics evidence he knew of. It sure wasn't unusual she shot a couple of bullets there every now and then, but she usually did that after work, not during. And especially not during break, which, he concluded, must have started since a couple of minutes, by a glance on the dial of his watch.
He'd come to conclude that Calleigh sometimes used her job as a way to express her emotions when they became too much to cope with. When she wasn't having her day, she retreated into her sanctuary, shooting bullets straight into the middle of the pallet with the gun suiting her emotions best at that point. When Horatio entered the range, he found her with a Ruger, twelve millimeter, in hand. From where he stood, he could see tears rimming the edges of her eyes through her clear safety glasses. He felt like he'd intruded on something and wanted nothing but to leave, while another part of him didn't feel like doing so. He kept standing there, but didn't make his presence known. She could already feel it. She could feel it when someone was watching her. At that point, when she lowered the gun and turned around to see his tall red haired figure standing there, he wished he'd left. He felt like he'd butted in on her private space, and he didn't want that. "Go home," Horatio suggested, upon seeing her expression of what he thought was pure hurt.
Home. Did Horatio mean the apartment which used to be hers, but had been intruded by Eric since a couple of months? Oh where had she gotten herself into? She must have been lying to herself all this time. Yeah she loved Eric, but not in the way that he did… not in the way that he showed that he loved her. Had she been so… sorry for him that she had managed to lie to herself about the nature of her feelings towards him? Had she been so desperate for a man to love her? Last night had made her see it, or not, rather. When she thought of children, about the future in general, she couldn't see herself with him. She couldn't see any part of her future with him included in more than a figurant's role.
Calleigh gently laid the heavy Ruger down onto her table and tried to compose herself in front of Horatio for the second time that day already, as his velvet-like voice rang through the empty range, apart from the two of them, of course. "Calleigh."
"Horatio," she whispered, her emerald green eyes fixed onto him while taking off her red goggles and safety glasses. She swallowed, realizing the tone in her voice had betrayed precisely how she felt. Restless. Confused. She couldn't quite put her finger on the right fitting emotion, but she knew it was no pleasant one… a very unpleasant one in fact.
"I'm sure we could handle it if you went home early today." Calleigh suddenly felt the urge to fling herself into his arms much like that morning, and try explaining him why she felt like that; why she couldn't seem to focus at work. "I could send Eric home, too, when he comes in," Horatio suggested, feeling this wasn't the right time to ask what bothered her. "Though I'm sure that could be at least another hour."
A shade of panic briefly showed in Calleigh's eyes, and she kindly declined the redhead's offer. She tried keeping her tone light. "I guess maybe you're right. I didn't sleep much tonight." It wasn't a lie. "I guess I'm just suffering a little under the weather. I could nap a little on the couch, and maybe I feel better tomorrow. Please don't bother sending Eric home, too… I'm a big girl," she added, before putting down the ear goggles and safety glasses and making her way out, Horatio guessed to the locker room to retrieve her things before going home like he had suggested.
He didn't doubt she could take care of herself, but had noticed the awkwardness in her eyes when he'd suggested sending Eric home with her. He turned around, stopping her right before she had turned the corner. "Calleigh, everything all right between you two?" He asked, concernedly.
"Sure," she answered, before continuing her way out. Horatio thought that she couldn't be away any sooner. He stood staring after her for a little while, thinking about what had happened earlier and just a short moment back. When he couldn't come up with another reason behind her behavior than trouble with Eric, he left Calleigh's sanctuary and went to his office to try and get some paperwork done. Maybe he could ask her boyfriend later.
When Calleigh got home half an hour later, she decided to take a long shower. Right when she got out the shower booth, her cell phone started buzzing. She sighed seeing the caller ID, and already knew precisely what he'd have to say. "Hi, Eric," she greeted, trying to sound cheerful.
*Hi. H. said you didn't feel well and you had gone home, so are you all right there?* Calleigh felt relieved. She had noticed Horatio not buying her explanation for acting absent and vulnerable, but thank goodness he hadn't told Eric about what he really thought was going on.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I think that I'm just suffering a little under the weather," she easily repeated her lie, and Eric, unlike Horatio, seemed to believe it.
*OK. I just wanted to be sure. See you later tonight.*
Calleigh frowned. "All right." She felt something was going on there, and was determined to find out what as well. It wasn't quite like Eric to call just for a few words. In addition, she found it odd he hadn't said anything about the new case. She was going to find out what was going on, but it would have to wait until tomorrow morning, when she would most likely hear it all from Natalia or Valera. Or maybe from Eric himself.
