Right after they posted the results I didn't believe it. The results showed the test was positive for Lupus. Under normal circumstances I would have been a bit excited, I finally had a case of Lupus. After years of negative results, I finally had a case.
Now I would have hoped for anything but Lupus. That meant she was going to die. It was in the advanced stage, no meds would help, and at this point would probably shorten what time she has left by almost half. Normally I wouldn't be the one to tell patients they are going to die, but this was a special case. The patient was Cuddy.
When I walked into the hospital room I was surprised to see her awake, it was 3 in the morning. When she saw me, I could tell that this wasn't going to be easy. She was the love of my life in college, and still secretly is, but now I have to hand her a death sentence.
" We got your test results back." She sat up slowly, I could tell that she was in pain.
I took a deep breath. I could feel tears in my eyes, but at this point, I honestly didn't care.
" What is it?" Her voice wasn't her's anymore. It was hoarse, probably a respiratory infection from a compromised immune system.
" It's Lupus. And unfortunately, it's too advanced to treat. I'm so sorry Lisa." She gasped, obviously not expecting this diagnosis. The tears started to run down her cheeks, and she looked up for a moment.
" How long?" This was the part I hated about diagnosis, you had to tell them how long they would be in pain for.
"If we treat it will be about a month, but a month of unimaginable pain and suffering. If we don't treat 2-3 months, as for the pain, it won't be bad with the right meds. Your chance of survival with the treatment is about 35-40%. I recommend treatment. " She wiped away the tears and cleared her throat.
" No. I don't want to be treated." That was what I have been afraid of hearing. She was a rational person.
" Cuddy, don't just give up. You have an amazing life and you have accomplished so much. Don't just throw it all away." She started crying even harder.
" I only have one reason to keep living House. It's you." She still loved me, even so, I have never doubted that for one second of the past 15 years.
" I love you too. That's why I want you to live." I wanted to tell her that I couldn't live without her, but I can't say that.
" House, lets just have 2-3 months of being together. No distractions. Just you and me, what do you say?" Obviously 2 months with her is better than 2 months of her hating me.
"Alright, you and me." I grabbed her hand, and sat on her bed. I leaned in and kissed her, wishing I could have her forever.
