Hello people! I finally bothered to upload something! Alright, so, I didn't really want my first thing to be crack, but I worry more about serious things not being good. At least with stuff like this you don't have to worry so much about making it emotional or appropriate (well, you need to have a bit, but you don't need to worry so much) (something tells me I didn't word that right and just offended a bunch of people. Sorry! It might not be a good idea to write this at about midnight).
Anyway, I don't want to keep going on too long, so I'll start in a second. I think it's pretty obvious what I don't own, and you've seen these disclaimers in practically every other fan fiction on this site, so please don't sue me!
Here we go!
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
Wait, I'm not onto that part yet.
Well…um…
A little while ago in a country…um…close or far away? I don't know where you live.
Oh, forget it, I'm getting distracted.
It was a calm night in England. Most of the lights in the houses had been switched off, and on the quiet rural street the only light came from the few streetlights and from the moon and stars. Well, that was until one of the houses started glowing. I guess I'd better take you back a bit and tell you what happened.
A few minutes earlier
"Stupid France doing that stupid thing which made him look like a…like a…stupid!"
It was late at night, or early in the morning, whatever, it doesn't make a difference. It was…whatever time…when the very drunk personification of a certain country walked, or actually, more like fell, through his front door.
"I…I need to get revenge!"
Slowly, England managed to pull himself towards his basement, when a fairy appeared in his way.
"England, I know what you're going to do and I'm afraid I can't let you do it, at least not while you're drunk." The little fairy said. It was pretty difficult to take her seriously when she was so small and cute!
"You mean you aren't going to let me replace all of France's food with my own…much better food?" Really, who'd object to that? Excluding most of the world.
The fairy shook her head "No, I mean use magic to get—"The fairy realised her mistake. Never give a drunk person (or nation as the case may be) ideas.
"Forget I said anything, I said nothing about magic, LALALALALA I'M STILL NOT LETTING YOU IN THE BASEMENT!"
Magic, that was a good idea. Maybe…maybe he could use it to…to…to turn the frog into a frog! Yeah! That was a completely original idea! Hmm…creativity didn't really go with being drunk. Oh well, revenge was revenge, and the sooner it was done the better. Now England just had to get past the fairy…
"Piss off, you stupid fairy. You can't get in my way! I have a secret weapon!"
England smiled maliciously. He (just about) managed to stand up, spread his arms out, closed his eyes, opened his mouth, and then…
"I don't believe in fairies, I don't believe in fairies, I don't believe in fairies."
He opened one of his eyes. Nothing had happened.
"Um…I don't believe in fairies, I don't believe in fairies, I don't beli—"
"Nice try, but that doesn't really work."
"Maybe it will if I keep trying! I don't believe in fairies, I don't believe in fairies, I don't believe in fairies…"
About half an hour later, England was still chanting. The fairy had finally had enough.
"You done yet?"
"NEVER! I don't believe in fairies, I don't believe in fairies, I don't believe…"
"ENGLAND!"
Damn. Well, the fairy was small. If all else failed...
"Well…I want to go to the basement. What can you do to stop me?"
The fairy raised her wand, ready to attack…and England squashed her with his fist.
"Ha ha ha! Another victory for the mighty British Empire! This calls for a celebration!"
The celebration could wait though, nothing could stop him now.
By this stage, England could just about stand up, so, using the walls for support, he went to the basement slightly faster. Which still wasn't that fast in his still drunk state.
Meanwhile, on the floor back in the hallway, a fairy who seemed to be made partially of some kind of gum, was trying to unstick herself from the floor.
"Dammit! Go on, do it then. When it all goes wrong again, don't expect me to give you any sympathy!"
Alright, so it's kind of short, but the next chapter will be longer. Next time the magic happens. Really. Actual magic. The real excitement comes after that. See you next time!
Oh, and just before I go, this was written at around 11pm-3am, and was typed up at around the same time, so it's nowhere near the best I can do. Alright, that's all, goodbye!
