Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I also don't own the inspiration for this fic, which is a lovely little comic by the artist julvett, from her Ask Jily tumblr. You can also find her awesome stuff on deviantart.
Subtle James Potter wasn't, so when Severus Snape saw Timothy Jacobsen trip on his shoelaces, falling on his face and embarrassing himself in front of pretty, popular, and (nearly) perfect Lily Evans, at first he merely thought he'd had some good luck for once. Jacobsen had made no secret of his intentions toward Miss Evans, and Sev had still been thinking about how best to sprinkle him with Swelling Solution without ending up in detention when Jacobsen's shoelaces cleared up the situation. Sev watched, carefully concealing his glee, while Lily helped Jacobsen up and asked if he was all right. To anyone else, it may have seemed like little Timmy still had a chance, but Sev knew the look on his best friend's face: she was certainly concerned about her fellow student, but she also thought he was a bit of an idiot.
"What was that about?" Lily's friend Mary asked as everyone in the entrance hall watched Jacobsen scamper back toward Ravenclaw Tower. "If I didn't know better, I'd think he was jinxed, but I didn't see anyone with a wand."
Neither had Sev, but as the girls walked away, he remembered seeing Potter's hand twitch toward his pocket right before Jacobsen fell. Sev was very aware of Potter's every move, because often, movements made by the Gryffindor Seeker ended up humiliating him. Potter fancied Lily, but it was more like him to jinx someone to their face, preferably in front of a large audience while being aided by a gang of his mates. That's why Sev was perfectly okay with the idea that Tim Jacobsen ought to have double checked his trainers before strutting around in front of the girl he wanted to ask out.
But the more he thought about it, the more he wondered if it was possible that Potter was working from the shadows, just as he was, to thwart any of Lily Evans' would-be suitors.
The previous month Nicholas Smith had nearly been successful at wooing Lily. They had even studied alone together in the library for a Transfiguration exam, and Lily had begun to speak fondly about him... until one disastrous day in Herbology. Lily never mentioned him after that, and Sev wasn't about to go asking any Gryffindors for Hufflepuffs for details, but the retelling he happened to overhear involved a pair of goggles, a Snargaluff, and, according to the girl whose whispered account reached Sev's ears, "you don't even want to know."
Two weeks before that, Sev had slipped a small amount of Babbling Beverage into Martin Kemp's morning tea just before he was planning to ask Lily for sunny Saturday morning walk around the lake. However, when he retreated to the Slytherin table to watch, Kemp didn't seem to be doing much talking. In fact, the way he stood in front of Lily with his mouth hanging open, Sev would have sworn someone had Confunded him.
A week after the Jacobsen Shoelace Scandal, Lily arrived at the queue for Potions accompanied by Terrence Williams, a good looking Ravenclaw. Sev was smoldering with his usual flavor of jealous curiosity when Mary helpfully asked the question he needed an answer to: "What were you doing with him?"
Lily answered, "Oh, he was just asking me about how the Muggle post works for a project he's doing for Muggle Studies."
Sev saw Potter elbow his best friend Sirius Black while they all filed into the dungeon. As they found seats, Black called out, "I'm pretty sure you're the Muggle that Williams wants to study, Evans."
"None of your business either way," Lily replied coolly. Black opened his mouth, presumably to put his foot in it, when the entrance of Professor Slughorn put a stop to idle chatter for the moment. After the day's task had been explained, Sev leaned down to light his cauldron while pretending not to see the look that Mary gave to Lily.
"Well?" she whispered. "Do you think Williams is interested in more than just the post?"
"I'm sure he just wants to do well on his O.W.L.s," Lily whispered back.
Mary smirked. "And I'm sure there are Muggleborns in his own house he could ask. It would save him from having to come all the way down here with you."
Lily blushed.
That did it. Terrence Williams had to go.
But how?
"You should do the Leg-Locker thing again, that worked brilliantly, James," Sev overheard Peter Pettigrew whisper loudly across the table to Potter.
"Shut up!" Black hissed, glancing quickly over at the table where Lily and her friends were working. He noticed that Sev's face was turned their way, and immediately scowled. Sev tried to look unconcerned instead of guilty, and held up his measuring cup to make sure he had the correct amount of armadillo bile. Black still looked suspicious, so Sev turned his attention back to the ginger roots on the table in front of him.
Slughorn was making his way across the room, checking the cauldrons of a nearby table full of Slytherins. Sev knew his potion would be perfect, but that Slughorn would praise Lily's more than his. Sev may have been a bit better at brewing potions than Lily was, but it didn't bother him that Slughorn played favorites. Who wouldn't like Lily Evans more than Severus Snape? Slughorn arrived at their table, avoided Mary's cauldron, smiled indulgently at Sev, and then called the attention of the entire class to make an example of Lily's "exemplary work." As he bustled away, Lily glanced at Sev and smiled at the look on his face.
"Yours was better than mine," she whispered.
This was a common argument in Potions. "Not better, just different," Sev assured her.
Over her shoulder, Sev saw Black and Potter whispering together and glaring at him. This wasn't necessarily unheard of, but somehow Sev knew they weren't just plotting to humiliate him again.
"Ugh," Mary moaned, as they cleared up their things. "I really went wrong with this one." She held her nose and leaned away from her cauldron.
"You're right, it really smells disgusting," Lily agreed, and began looking at Mary's leftover ingredients to help her figure out what she could have done differently. The stench creeping out of the cauldron gave Sev an idea.
"Well, ladies and gentlemen, if you don't mind, I'm off," Slughorn announced. "Important meeting with the headmaster, you know; I'm sure I can trust you all to clear up and clear out," and he bustled out the door. Lily and Mary followed not too long after, Lily giving Mary some tips on why slicing her ginger roots may have worked better than cubing them.
Sev stayed behind to meticulously clean his work space. When he looked up, he was by himself in the dungeon… except for James Potter, who was glaring at him from the other side of the table. Sev had never been alone with Potter before, but judging by their interactions when there were crowds of onlookers, the next few minutes would likely not be fun for him.
"You heard," Potter told him accusingly. Sev just blinked at him. "You're friends with her, with Evans… are you going to tell her?"
Sev scowled. He opened his mouth to say yes, he was going to tell her, and then she'd really know what kind of arrogant toerag Potter really was. But then… he had been doing the same thing…
"You didn't have to Confund Martin Kemp, you know," he heard himself saying in the cool, unaffected tone that Lily often used when speaking to Potter and his friends. "Nothing suave or debonair would have come out of his mouth."
Potter's face betrayed how amazed he was, and he muttered, "I wondered why he was bragging about how often he cuts his great aunt's toenails during the summer holidays."
Sev couldn't suppress a snort of amusement. He looked at Potter and saw him covering his mouth with one hand, unable to hide a smile. And suddenly, something passed between them: an understanding.
A week later, Sev lounged against the wall in a hallway nearby the entrance to Gryffindor Tower. If anyone asked, he would say that he was waiting for Lily, that they were going to have lunch together. He was waiting for someone, but it wasn't Lily.
He didn't have to wait long. James Potter strolled up and leaned against the wall a few feet away, looking in completely the opposite direction.
"Potter," Sev offered as a greeting.
"Snape," Potter replied.
"Heard O'Connor is going to ask her to Hogsmeade," Sev announced. He didn't see how Potter could have missed it, since the Hufflepuff Chaser had been leering at Lily for the past two weeks. Sev had been unable to think of a way to get rid of the sixth year (he was huge), but the Gryffindor/Hufflepuff Quidditch match was coming up, so… "Shame if he was in the hospital wing this weekend."
"Consider it done," Potter replied, nonchalantly inspecting his own fingernails. "You take care of Williams?"
Sev allowed himself a small smirk. The only thing that Williams had learned from Lily was the bitterness of rejection: "Extra strength Dog Breath Potion."
A sideways glance at Potter revealed a strange look in his eyes as he tried not to appear as though he was looking at Sev. Was it… admiration?
If it was, Potter quickly tried to cover it up. They stood a few moments in silence, then, sounding as though he was unwilling to admit it, Potter cleared his throat and murmured, "Nice."
This arrangement didn't stop Potter and Black from jinxing Sev whenever they saw him, or Sev from hating them as much as ever. Sev and Potter may have been working toward the same goal, but it didn't mean they had a truce or a cease-fire. Having common enemies wasn't enough to make them friends. They were merely… co-conspirators.
If Sev had any luck, this sort of alliance would never be necessary again.
Author's Note: Happy Birthday month to my amazing writing partner Stella Malodi (Stella_Malodi on AO3)! If you enjoy awesomeness, go check her out & let her know how amazing she is!
