So new story, this is very close to me and I wanted to write about it.
Trigger warnings – it does include self-harm; please don't read if it will trigger/upset you.
There's so much you can write about with these two characters and this fic will probably be dark/angst and I'm not entirely sure at the moment if the end result will be Freechamp but it will be centered on Connie and Rita.
"It's only going to take a matter of time before your out! Do you think I want a liability like you working at my ED? You're an embarrassment Rita and you're certainly not fit to be a nurse!" Connie seethed with anger.
Rita stood motionless for a second before fleeing Connie's office, she barged her way to the ladies and locked herself in a cubicle, it was then she allowed herself to cry. Why did Connie hate her so much? Rita was a good nurse…wasn't she?
Rita looked down at her wrists, she could see the faint scars staring back at her from her past. After finding out her now ex-husband was a paedophile it literally messed Rita up. She took to drinking to cope to deal with it all but then it escalated and she began self-harming, for Rita it was a release. A release from the abuse she got from people in the street, from the thoughts trapped in her mind that she spent half of her life devoted to that man! It wasn't till that one night when she knew she took it to far to realise what she was doing. The scars were evidence of her troubled past but they also showed that she was a survivor, Rita thought she was over that now but day in day out all she kept hearing was Connie's cutting remarks telling her how useless she was, no good at her job and that it wouldn't be long till she was out. The worst part…Rita was starting to believe her.
That's why Rita had a razorblade safely tucked away in her pocket, she had kept it with her for a week now and It sounded silly but it felt like comfort to know it was there if she ever needed a release. She picked the blade from her pocket, a tear splashed onto her hand and she just looked at her wrists, Rita knew she couldn't do it on her wrists everyone would see, it was bad enough that she was doing it and deep down Rita knew it but in her mental state at the moment she wasn't thinking clearly. For a quick release she lifted up the short sleeve on her uniform and pressed the blade down on her skin, she swiped a few times and with a shaky breath she let go and the blade hit the floor with a clatter. Rita sobbed as she held the tissue to the wound, the main door opened and she tried to control her tears but it was too late.
"Hello, are you okay in there?" it was Zoe, she was only grateful it wasn't Connie.
Rita didn't answer she didn't think she could, Zoe took a step back it was obvious someone was upset. Sighing she bent down to look under the door, it was better to be safe than sorry and first her eyes were drawn to the blade on the floor then she looked at the shoes and knew instantly who it was.
"Rita, open the door please." Zoe said softly.
"No." Rita choked back.
"If you don't open it I'll get someone who will."
Zoe needed Rita to open the door, after seeing the blade on the floor she needed to check that Rita was okay and with a slight click the door opened.
"Oh Rita." Zoe whispered.
Zoe looked on with sympathy she looked at Rita who was holding tissue to her upper arm and Zoe could see the blood spots coming through. Rita looked so fragile and she looked completely wiped out, Zoe quickly went into action kneeling beside Rita,
"Can I have a look? I need to check it."
Rita nodded and took the tissue away, the wounds were still bleeding but it wasn't deep enough to require stitches they just needed to be cleaned.
"These need cleaning Rita, I can take you to a private room and I'll clean it there, then we can have a chat about this."
"I don't want…"
"Rita this is not open for discussion." There was no malice to Zoe's tone she simply needed Rita to come with her and she definitely needed to talk to her about it. Rita stood up and sighed she threw the tissue down the toilet and flushed it. Zoe picked the blade up of the floor and disposed of it then she put her hand on Rita's back for support leading her out into the main ward. Being as quick as she could Zoe took them both to an empty room but that didn't stop Connie from seeing them first,
"Why aren't you working Rita?" Connie said looking at them both.
Rita was staring at the ground and she hadn't replied back, Connie let out a frustrated sigh and tried again.
"Rita I do not appreciate being ignored!"
"Connie, not now okay I'll make sure Rita goes back to work."
Rita looked up and Connie saw her, there was obvious evidence that Rita had been crying and Connie had no doubt that was because of what she said to the blonde nurse. She felt something inside when she looked at Rita she looked so sad, so empty. Rita tried her best to hold her tears in as she followed Zoe, Connie just watched them go.
"Okay Rita, sit down and I'll clean the cuts and apply a dressing to it." Zoe said
Rita did as she was told and as Zoe finished cleaning the cuts she gently applied the dressing. Rita started shaking as the tears fell again,
"Oh Rita come here."
Zoe pulled Rita in for a hug, she comforted Rita the best she could and when the tears eventually stopped Zoe let go and sat next to Rita.
"I understand this must be hard for you Rita but why? Rita I have to be professional about this and you are obviously not in the right state of mind to work."
Rita stood up,
"You can't send me home! Please I need this job it's all I've got. Please Zoe."
"Take a couple of days off, get yourself sorted see a counsellor I have a friend who can help you."
Rita nodded that was something she could agree well maybe not the counsellor part but on having a couple of days off would be for the best then she could come back with a clear head, but there was one problem what was Connie going to say about this?
"What about Connie?" Rita asked,
"Leave her to me."
"It's because of her you know." Rita said quietly.
"Don't take anything of what she says personally Rita, you are a great nurse one of the best on the team. I don't want to see this happening again is that understood."
Rita nodded slightly and before Zoe could say anything else Ethan knocked on the door asked for Zoe's help.
"Go home Rita, I'll speak to you later." Zoe said.
Zoe left with Ethan and Rita went to get changed, she was more than grateful for Zoe's help and for saying she could have a couple of days off. She grabbed her things and walked towards the exit of the ED,
"Why can I see Rita leaving? Her shift is not over yet!" Connie spoke,
No one wanted to reply to Connie all scared of what she would say besides they didn't know only one person did and she marched straight up to Connie.
"I've sent her home, you and me we need to talk now."
Connie's eyes flashed with anger, no one spoke to her like that! Not if they wanted to live so what was Zoe's problem! Zoe opened Connie's office and walked in waiting for Connie to follow and it didn't take her long to. Connie shut the door,
"What do you think you're doing Zoe? I don't appreciate being spoken to like that and I'll advise you not to do it again."
"Oh forget that Connie, you need to lay off Rita."
"Oh I see she came running to you did she? Christ she really is a child, listen Zoe if she's not big enough to fight her own battles then she certainly isn't big enough to work here is she."
"She didn't come running to me! What is your problem?"
"She's a liability Connie, she brought her personal life into this hospital and my daughter got taken from me because of it!"
"She brought her personal life in, it looks like you're the one doing just that. You're looking for someone to blame Connie and Rita is not the answer, you need to stop with the arguments if you can't be nice to her just be civil."
"Why should I listen to you? Rita needs to start acting like an adult then maybe I'll start being civil towards her."
"For god sake Connie!" Zoe groaned with frustration there was only one way she was going to make Connie understand that she really needed to lay off Rita and even though she knew Rita would be angry with her she couldn't see any other way.
"I walked in on her in the toilets self-harming Connie, she looked so broken and do you want to know the reason why she did it? She told me it was because of you."
"What?" Connie whispered.
Zoe went to leave the office leaving Connie to think about it but she was stopped by Connie's hand on her arm,
"Wait is she okay?"
"What do you think? I've told her to take a couple of days off and I'm going to give her a number for a counsellor just do the right thing and keep this between us."
"Of course I will but you know as well as me she cannot work here if this is happening."
"That's why I've told her to take a couple of days rest, Rita is a great nurse and I know she will overcome this she needs to know she has friends to support her. She wouldn't be going through this if it wasn't for you anyway."
Zoe walked away and to be honest Connie knew she deserved that she went and sat down; honestly she did not want this to happen she didn't know what to think. She knew the arguing was getting out of hand but Rita just pushed her buttons too many times and it was easy to have a go at her but now she knew the expense of her actions. Connie would not be the one to blame for Rita self-harming she just couldn't it wasn't something she could handle she had to fix it. If that meant when Rita was to come back being nice to her and never arguing again that was something Connie was more than willing to do.
