Bad Idea
A/N: This is my second fic ever written. Woot Woot! For all of the readers of my first fic, I will continue it. I don't like to abandon things, so it will be done, even if it takes the rest of my life. This story however, is not going to have as many unexpected twists (maybe). RoyXRiza and RoyXOC. It's written that way on purpose. I didn't write Royai because I don't know if it will end up being that way or if it'll end up RoyXOC/OCXRoy. This is set sometime after Hughes died (-cries-). Manga/Brotherhood world. And Please R&R.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own FMA, or its characters, or anything else recognizable. I do NOT own the songs used in this fic either. I only own my OC, the plot, and anything else that I decide to make up. This is my shit, take it and I'll chop your fuckin balls off (not really).
Chapter 1: Disgust at First Sight
"Another long day?" Madame Christmas asked her best customer, who had just walked in and was making her way to the bar.
"If only I could quit." Ali said, sitting down in front of the rather large glass of vodka Christmas had poured for her.
"You say that every day." Chris said, with a chuckle.
"Not every day, just most." Ali responded. "Anyway, how's business been since I was gone? Must've actually had enough vodka to go around." She added, laughing.
"Same as usual, you should know that by now. After all, you are my best customer. I just wish you didn't have to travel so damn much."
"I know, and I kind of do to sometimes. At least I don't have to stay in one place all the time."
"Yeah" Chris agreed "but you must have an idea where you want to end up."
"I know what you mean, and no, I don't. Even if I did, I doubt any guy out there could ever put up with me for even a day." Ali responded in a serious tone.
Chris smirked.
"I know what you're thinking, and fuck no. Not even if hell froze over. And why would I…" she shivered at the thought. "They're the reason why I come here in the first place."
"Fine, whatever you say." Chris said, still grinning. "How old are you again, I forgot." Her grin grew when she said that.
"…I'm nineteen. Why…?" Ali said, suspiciously.
"Nineteen huh? Perhaps a bit too young…" Chris said, more to herself than to Ali.
"What has you so deep in thought?" came a voice that Ali didn't recognize.
When Ali turned to her left to see who it was, she saw a man with black hair and eyes, who look Xingese, sit on the stool next to her. H looked rather plain to her. His style was just like every other man in Amestris.
"I was beginning to wonder if you'd come at all." Chris said to the man, in a sarcastic tone.
"You have no idea how much work I had to do." He grumbled.
"You sound like a lazy ass. If you don't like your work, then quit. There's no point in having a job that you don't like." Ali said.
Chris gave her a look that said "why don't you take your own advice."
"Don't give me that look. You know that's completely different." Ali snapped at her, then drank some of her vodka.
"Wait, who is this?" the man asked Chris, pointing at Ali.
"Roy, this is Ali. Ali this is Roy." Chris introduced them.
Roy looked her up and down a couple of times. He seemed almost mesmerized by her. She had dark, almost blackish, red hair with black highlights, and was wearing a short, red with black lace corset dress with six inch high black, closed toe pumps (of course Roy only knew that they were black, high, shiny, and sexy) . At the bottom of the dress, there was black lace that came out from it a little, making it almost look like she was wearing a corset and a tutu. What caught his attention about it, besides her big boobs, was that it was as short as a miniskirt. He came so close to having a nosebleed from looking at her.
"Hi. It's a pleasure to meet you." The man, Roy, said, holding out his hand for her to shake.
"Oh great, another one of you." Ali mumbled into her glass and rolled her eyes before chugging the rest of her vodka..
Chris laughed as Roy's "flirtatious" look dissolved.
"Need another?" Chris asked Ali.
"Don't I always?" Ali responded.
"Do you come here often?" Roy asked Ali.
"Obviously, you dumbfuck." Ali said, annoyed at being asked obvious questions, and him.
"Why so harsh?" Roy asked, sarcastically.
"Why so stupid?" Ali said, right when Chris set down an entire bottle of vodka in front of her.
"Aww how nice of you to share." Roy joked as he reached for the bottle.
Ali slapped his hand away, leaving it a bright red color. If she were paying any attention to him, she would've noticed that he was trying not to scream out in pain or tear up. After the initial shock and some of the pain subsided, he smirked that signature smirk of his that made any bimbo melt.
"You're a feisty one aren't you?" Roy whispered in her ear, trying to sound as sexy as possible.
"Roy, if you don't want to be severely hurt, I suggest you back off." Chris warned. "She has been known to send people to the hospital, or even a body bag in severe cases, and that's without weapons."
"How could someone so hot be so dangerous?" Roy asked in his "sexy" voice, still smirking.
Without warning, Ali punched him in the left eye, then the crotch. Roy fell off the stool immediately, then doubled over and hit the ground almost screaming in agony.
"You should listen to Chris. She knows what she's talking about." She said to him in a very calm voice. She didn't even look away from her bottle through the whole thing.
"And that's my idiot son." Chris said with a sigh.
" That worthless piece of shit is your son?" Ali asked in disbelief. "He's nothing like you! I though he would've been a hell of a lot smarter than that dipshit." She said, pointing at Roy.
"He may be an idiot, but he is my son. Well, foster son." Chris said. "Hawkeye and the rest of them are gunna give him hell about this tomorrow." She said with a sigh.
"Hawkeye? You mean Riza?" Ali asked, confused.
"Yeah ,that's the one. She babysits Roy-boy and the rest at work." Chris said.
"He's Colonel Mustang? That's the infamous Flame Alchemist?" Ali asked in disbelief.
Chris nodded
Ali burst into a fit of laughter. "You have got to be kidding me!" She managed to say while laughing like crazy.
"I'm right here, you know." Roy said from the floor, where he was still curled up in pain.
"Like I care." She said as her laughing slowed a little.
Roy got a look on his face like he just realized something quite obvious. He squirmed around on the floor slowly enough for no one to notice. He scooted until he was right next to Ali, who was standing up.
Ali looked down and instantly knew what he was up to. He was trying to look up her dress like some perverted teenage boy. She kicked him in the gut a few times after kicking his face three times.
"You damn pervert." She mumbled as she sat back down, going back to her bottle.
"Why dress like a prostitute if you don't want the attention?" Roy asked, sarcastically.
"I'm not dressed like a prostitute, and you were warned before I hurt you." Ali said, chugging another bottle.
"You're such a fucking tease." Roy grumbled as he finally managed to get back on the stool.
"Continue talking about this and I'll chop your fuckin balls off." Her voice was still as as it had been beforehand.
"Fine, I'll let it go for now." He said, not wanting to get hurt any worse. "So, do you live in town?" He asked, trying to change the subject quickly.
"No, and if your next question has anything to do with where I'm staying, don't even bother asking." Ali finished off another bottle soon after speaking.
"Any particular reason why you're here in Central, or are you just going without thinking?"
"I'm doing research, and traveling to gather information is part of it." She simply stated.
"Really? What are you researching?"H asked.
"I can't tell you, although you already know."
"I do?"
"Well, you don't know that I'm one of the people researching it, but you know of it."
"Are you sure you can't tell me? I might be able to get you some information."
"You help, some." She finished another bottle, after speaking.
"Isn't there something more you could tell me? A hint of any kind?" he asked, rather intrigued.
"Fine, I'll tell you, but only if you promise not to tell anyone else." Ali said, then turned to look at Roy. "Deal?"
"Deal" he said, then they shook on it.
"The reason why I come here so often is actually the same person that annoys you." She said, hoping he'd get it. He didn't.
"Who?"
She leaned close to him and whispered "Edward Elric" in his ear. She could feel his pulse quickening as soon as she leaned in so close. She giggled lightly, knowing how much she tortured him with little things she didn't do on purpose. After she told him, his eyes grew wide with shock.
"How does someone like him get lucky enough to be researching and traveling with someone as hot as you? It's just not fair." Roy said with a fake pouting face.
"Anything else you want to know?" Ali asked, ignoring his comment.
"Why do you want the stone?" he whispered in her ear.
"Well now, that isn't any of your business, is it?" She asked, with a smirk.
"Fair enough." He nodded. "Why doesn't anyone else know your working with them?"
"We decided it was best not to give anyone who might want to hurt or manipulate them another target." She said, chugging half of a bottle.
"Makes sense" he agreed.
"Anything else?" Ali asked, uninterested.
Roy leaned closer to her and gave his signature grin. "So what does Ali stand for?"
She almost shivered at how creepy he was. "Alice"
He leaned even closer to her and spoke. "Well, Alice, would you like to go to wonderland?" He said, kissing her neck.
She tried to hold back her laughter. "Do you actually expect such a pathetic line to work on me? You must be used to whores who are either too horny to care, or dumb enough to believe you. Either way, you are a complete moron."
"You know, you remind me of someone I know from the Academy." He said, still smirking.
"Let me guess, an old girlfriend? Ed's right, you really aren't smart enough to be a colonel." She chuckled.
"No, I never dated her. I doubt she ever let anyone."
"Oh really? Then who is she?" she asked, a bit intrigued.
"Have you ever heard of General Olivier Armstrong?"
"Who hasn't? She's the one who should be fuhrer, not you." Ali said, rather harshly.
"Thanks for the support. I should make you my second in command." He said, sarcastically.
"Anyways, is there anything else you wanted to know?" She asked, finishing up her last bottle.
"On a scale of one to 'I'll go home with anyone,' how drunk are you?"
"I didn't hurt you for kissing me, what do you think?" she said, sarcastically.
That's when Roy finally noticed just how drunk she really was.
"Then I guess we better get your next bottle to go." He whispered in her ear.
"Fine by me." She said.
After getting another bottle of vodka, they said goodbye to Madame Christmas. They had to lean on each other to keep from falling over.
Once they reached Roy's apartment building, he had a hard time remembering which one was his. It took about fifteen minutes for him to find his apartment, and another ten to find his keys.
They stumbled into the apartment in, seemingly, the least graceful way possible. The first thing in sight was his couch.
Ali stumbled over to the couch and sat, more like plopped, on it. She removed her shoes as Roy went to sit next to her. He tried to do the same, failing many times.
He finally managed to get his shoes off, then he stood. "Do you want some coffee?" he asked through drunken slurs.
"Sounds good." She said, chugging the last of the vodka that they had been sharing on the way there.
Roy went into the kitchen to make coffee.
A/N: If my descriptions aren't good, Alice (aka Ali) (my OC) is thin but kind of muscular with an hourglass figure, is about the same height as Riza Hawkeye, and has (American) size HHH breasts. Her hair is almost the exact color of blood, but her pale skin makes the red more visible, and her eyes are a light blue color that almost looks white (basically true aquamarine but with a little bit more blue). Please review.
