A Simple Job
By: Anthony James Velez
It was a normal day for the muscular (though lacking in leg muscles), block haired, sunglasses wearing man known as Johnny Bravo. He was looking for some lady to show of how much of a man and the steal of a deal dating him would be. The man was a misogynist and that would cause absolutely any woman to pulverize the man rather than just turn him down, but he was persistent and determined to "land a chick." Today, he hadn't quite found a woman that had he was interested in in any way, but the day was still young.
While he strode along the city with his eyes peeled for beautiful women to show his pride and physical impressiveness, he found something bizarre in a nearby alley. Almost like something straight from a horror movie, mist was coming out of it.
"Oh, spooky" he said, walking toward it his curiosity bringing him into the alley.
More mist surrounded the area, strange markings written across the wooden fence and walls before he came toward the end of the alley. That's where it was at its most interesting; skulls on ropes hung around the door while a big, glowing red eye staring at his every step as he continued walking toward the door. The dunderhead had not taken into effect any of the blatantly obvious "do not enter, danger!" items decorating the alley and door at the end of it.
Before Johnny could reach the door, a man in a black and red cloak and white tux opened the door adjusting his grey tie. He had short straggly hair, a big handlebar mustache, and small grey eyes. He raised one eyebrow at the same time Johnny Bravo did, smirking at him.
"Yes, can I help you?" he asked in a deep baritone voice.
"Nope, just looking at your Halloween stuff" he said, looking around in the room behind him.
It was slightly messy from what he could see, paint peeling from the wall behind him and random assorted items lying around the floor. Vials, stains from unknown substances, among other things laid around with the man clearly having done nothing about it. Johnny thought this guy was weird (where are his muscles to go with that mustache? Come on, man, complete the image!) and wanted to leave, but he somehow appeared in front of him as soon as he turned, that smirk still on his face.
Johnny Bravo squealed in fear, the man raising his eyebrow again at that. "Don't tell anybody I did that" he mumbled, the man needing to strain to hear but still able to hear him nonetheless.
"My lips are sealed my friend" he said, making a zipper like motion toward his lips.
The man cleared his throat and took out a card toward him. He read the paper giving him his address, phone number, mail box number, and name which apparently was Mr. Monroe. He looked at the man, waving his hand "hi" toward him.
"You see, sir, I need your help with a little something" he said out of nowhere, confusing Johnny.
"I have an experiment I'm about to show an entire audience. It will revolutionize science as we know it. However, I need someone who's willing to be a test subject and now that you're hereā¦" he twirled his fingers with a coy smile.
"Yeah, buddy, you freak me out so no thanks" he said, dusting himself off before trying to walk away before (for a second time) he teleported getting another scream of shock from him.
"Will you cut that out?!" he said, annoyed with being jump scared.
"Oops, sorry, force of habit" he said, truly apologetic.
Johnny did not like the idea that scaring people being a "habit." He didn't voice, but the look on the man's face made it pretty clear he didn't have to.
"Well, I just wanted to say you could be popular for being the very first person to be tested for this truly innovating serum" he said, pulling out a needle from his pocket.
That caught Johnny's attention as he asked for clarification, "That includes chicks, right?"
"If you mean little birds, then I'm afraid not. If you mean women, then they would definitely be among those you would have surrounding you with awe" he said.
Johnny had a daydream of beautiful women flocking him, squealing and kissing him. Without thinking twice, he said "You've got yourself a deal!" shaking his hand with enthusiasm.
The man (equal enthusiasm) shook his hand said "Excellent, we'll be at the theatre in downtown at midnight."
Giving the man a map (he didn't know why, but something told him his mind was not among the smartest), the man simply walked right back into his alley. Johnny, meanwhile, kept a grin on his face as he strode to his original goal for today. After a little while of walking, he reached the supermarket and took out what he was looking for. Bread, milk, and melon just as his mama asked. The female cashier saw the paper and gasped in fright, getting his attention.
The blonde slid across the table, he flexed his left bicep ad his other arm holding him up before saying "I know, babe, I've never seen someone so beautiful before either."
Her fear turned into a frown of contempt. "Never mind, you jerk" she said, grabbing the cash register and slamming it into his head before turning away from him.
With one among many failures to secure a girlfriend, he simply walked back home to tell his mama (along with the annoying neighbor girl Suzie and his "friend" Carl) about his new job as well as bringing back the items he had been sent.
Mama and Suzie were happy to know that he managed to get a job, but Carl recognized the name and tried to warn Johnny, but he was clearly not interested in listening to him.
Come midnight, the presentation was being prepared. It seemed simple; a red lounge chair with mandibles suspiciously built into it as well as wires plugged into it, a spotlight up in the rafters pointing down on them, and the needle from before that Monroe was twirling in his fingers. It was unfortunate that Johnny did have a built in alarm in his brain signaling danger (that would mean they worked in other ways than being a pig and being alive) because that would come to bite him later on. Until then, he was just snoring in his sleep on the chair while Dr. Monroe looking toward the seats being filled as he saw the money metaphorically roll in. Carl had a bad feeling about this, but nobody was listening to him and even if he were, he couldn't quite place why something felt wrong in the first place.
"Welcome ladies and germs, boys and girls of all ages, to my feature presentation" he said, pinching Johnny in the ear waking him up.
"Come on, mama, I just dropped out of preschool" he said, earning mocking laughs from the audience while Monroe stifled his laughs; couldn't go laughing at your partners, could you?
"Well, anyway, I have something that will amaze everyone in this very room as you will see the most amazing thing that any kind of medicine has ever accomplished" he said, presenting everyone the white serum in the needle.
The audience looked toward the needle, not quite reacting since his words didn't really mean anything without context, most of them showing up purely from curiosity's sake.
"I know I haven't told you about what's in the serum and just told you about how "earth shattering" it is and how "incredible" its effect in the science world would be-"he made finger quotes in some of the words before continuing by saying "- but trust me, what you will see is more important to anything I can possibly say."
He directed his hand toward Johnny; he said "Right behind me is the kind man that was willing to help this poor, destitute man showcase his abilities to the whole world."
Monroe clapped toward the man, the audience doing the same to be polite.
"Hey there, call me ladies" he said, winking an eye from behind his sunglasses.
The ladies in the audience groaned, Monroe not really paying attention to either.
"His kindness will not be unrewarded, but for now let's simply get the show on the road, as is the phrase" he said, injecting the needle into him and serum quickly after earning a small "ouch!" from Johnny.
Afterward, he walked back out of the stable to the back and pulling a switch. Suddenly, Johnny was being electrocuted getting gasps from the audience. Johnny's mother, Suzie, and Carl all made frightened gasps, covering their eyes unable to watch. However, most the audience was seeing that it had not effect on the dimwit whatsoever. After about half an hour, the voltage stopped while Johnny looked around before saying "tingly-" and sniffing the air before saying "-and smelly, too."
After a while, the audience just took in what had just happened. The serum had somehow made him invulnerable to harm, getting their cheers. Monroe was smiling, only half from pride. The other was from how he was going to feature the effect later on. As soon as they stopped cheering, Johnny began to feel weird.
Weird became worrisome as Johnny began to convulse in pain, his body know shaking and twitching belatedly from the effects on the electricity that had just gone through his veins.
The amazement had turned to fear, both Johnny's mama and Suzie screaming "Johnny!" in horror, Suzie jumping onto the chair before Carl could finally remember.
"I remember now! That's Doctor Monroe, that mad scientist!" he shouted, the audience looking toward him with wide eyes.
"How kind of you to remember me, young man" he said, bowing while Johnny's body continued to writhe.
"And if you remember me, then you remember how I handled the audience as well" he said, the audience staring at the glasses of water in disgust.
He took out a gun, grinning before saying "Now, any takers?"
The sociopath Monroe had struck again.
