Louie inhaled deeply and exhaled with his mouth.
He opened his eyes and looked down at the pocket knife in his left hand. He set the knife down right next to him. The young triplet took his hoodie off, putting it on the arm of the couch he was sitting on. He then looked at both of his arms.
A rubber band was on his right arm close to his wrist. It was one that Webby gave him a little after he told her about the scars. He had been using it a lot rather than actually cutting himself. It was very helpful for him, but as of lately it wasn't doing much for him. Not as much as it did before, at least, like the first few times around. He took it off of his arm and laid it down on his hoodie.
Louie turned his arms around to see the rest of them. Scars covered the entirety of his arms. All of them were from the little pocket knife he had. Some of them were light and very faint, those being the older ones, while others were deep and noticeable from a first glance, those being newer.
Other scars were in between, ones being not as fresh and deep, but definitely not as light either. Those were still fading away like the first ones he made on his arms. The newer scars, he wasn't sure if those were going to become faint scars. Most likely not, though, and they were something that he had to hide every day from almost everybody.
He looked over onto where he first cut himself. He remembered how scared he was at first having the knife so close to beneath his shoulder. It was supposed to be a one time thing, but little did he knew that it only went onto another one and another, spiraling into something he couldn't easily stop doing.
His fingertips went up to where the first knife wound used to be at. Not a single trace of it could be seen or felt. The scar had completely healed since then, as the cut luckily wasn't so deep. Of course, it was the first cut after all, it didn't always start out deep. He removed his fingers from that part of his arm and looked away from it.
He picked up the pocket knife once again. He looked at the blade. It was clean and clear enough for him to see his own reflection in it. The blade wasn't something he wanted to get dirty at any time, since it wouldn't be too good for the wounds. They would probably get infected faster than if he didn't clean them up right away.
Besides, it was better to keep it clean overall. It was kept sharp, too, since he did use it often before he got a rubber band to use. He touched the end of the knife, wanting to see how sharp it was now. He hadn't tested how it was in a few weeks, so now was a good time. He pulled his index finger away and looked at it.
No blood was on the tip of his finger. It seemed like it was still pretty sharp despite that though. Louie closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths like he did before. After those deep breaths, he opened his eyes as he put the knife very close to his arm. He was about to add another scar to the horrible, almost permanent display on his right arm, but he didn't.
He remembered how he promised Webby that he would try his best to stop cutting a while back. She tried what she could to help him, same with Huey and Dewey. He wanted to know if everything was enough, though. Maybe the rubber band just wasn't something that would work for him for too long. Different things worked for different people, after all.
Louie sighed, staring at his pocket knife. He noticed how his hand was shaking holding it. It was best to put the knife down now before he unintentionally cut himself. Though, then again, giving his arm only one more couldn't hurt too badly-
"Alright! I'll see you guys later!" Webby said.
Louie looked up immediately and saw Huey, Dewey, and Webby at the door. He started to breathe faster as his heartbeat pounded hard. He felt like he was frozen, like if he couldn't move at all. His palms and face became sweaty.
Webby was the first one to look at him. Her face went pale from what she saw. He knew for sure that she was looking at the knife in his hand. Huey and Dewey looked at her confused. They then turned around and saw what she was seeing. Huey covered his beak as his eyes widened while Dewey's beak opened slightly.
"Louie...?" Dewey spoke.
"I, uh..." Louie tried his best to speak, but he couldn't get anything out.
"You should probably put that knife down, Louie." Webby told him.
"Yeah, you definitely should. We just don't want you to get hurt in any way, shape, or form, Louie." Huey added.
Out of all three of them, Webby seemed to be the most worried. It was understandable as to why. Tears started forming in the youngest triplet's dark forest green eyes. He bit his lip, trying to hold them back. Sweat fell down to his beak, almost being able to taste it in his mouth.
Louie darted his eyes back and forth between the three of them. He sighed and looked away from them. His arm shook back and forth, making the knife come close to making contact with his body several times. He slowly moved the knife away from his arm despite the shaking. He set it down close to him.
Louie pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. He laid his head on his knees sideways. His face twitched and quivered as he tried not to cry. Louie didn't want to look at his older brothers or his girlfriend. He didn't want to keep looking at their worried faces. He didn't want them to see how he was ready to cry.
Webby came into his view. Louie looked ahead of him instead. She walked right in front of him and bent down to one knee. She put her hands onto his shoulders, that of which made Louie jump. He almost shoved her hands from his shoulders, but he stopped himself right before he did. He didn't want to do that to her, even if it was out of trained instinct at this point.
Since she wasn't leaving his sight, Louie looked at her. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Dewey take the pocket knife away, but Louie didn't move his head or eyes to look at it fully. She put one of her hands onto his face and the youngest triplet leaned onto it. She caressed his cheek, ultimately soothing him. Louie held her wrist gently as he closed his eyes.
A tear came from his right eye. He took some deep breaths, inhaling with his nose and exhaling with his mouth. After a minute of deep breathing, he extended his legs out. He opened his eyes slightly, seeing Webby fill his vision once again. He silently, but noticeably gulped. Louie only mouthed 'I'm sorry' as he looked away from her.
"It's okay, Louie-"
"No, it's not, Webs. Nothing's okay, nothing at all. I'm not okay..."
Louie went to grab his hoodie to put it back on. When he laid his hand on it, Huey's hand went onto his, and Dewey's hand followed. Louie looked up at his brothers, both of which had reassuring smiles.
"And we're going to help you with that, Louie. You're not gonna do this alone." Dewey said.
Huey put his hand on Louie's shoulder. "Even if it takes years, we'll be here for you. We'll help you with whatever you're going through, no matter what it is."
Louie depressingly smiled at his eldest brother and nodded. While he had doubts on everything getting better for him, he had to remind himself it all took time. They had to remind him it took awhile sometimes. Habits couldn't be dropped with no problem, especially nothing that can be considered an addiction. Certain problems couldn't be magically gone in seconds, either, as much as he would like it at the moment.
His smile vanished as he took the hoodie off of the couch, putting it back on to hide the scars on his arms once again. Louie adjusted his sleeves to make sure none of his cuts were visible, not even the slightest bit. Just remembering there was a rubber band on the hoodie before he put it back on, Louie looked around for it.
Dewey gave him the rubber band back. "Looking for this?"
"Yeah. Thanks." Louie took it out of his hand and looked at it.
"You're welcome, Lou." Dewey gave him a quick hug.
"Oh, and we're keeping the pocket knife, by the way. We don't want you to cut yourself again or anything worse." Huey stated.
Louie looked at him. "Eh, that's fair."
Webby sat down next to Louie. The youngest triplet went to get up, but he was kept down to the couch. He looked down at his stomach to see Dewey's arm then at Dewey himself. Louie opened his mouth to speak.
Before he could, Dewey spoke first. "Don't go anywhere, bro, we're gonna be watching a movie together! C'mon, Hue, let's go get some snacks!"
He grabbed Huey's hand with their fingers intertwining. Dewey ran out of the room, practically dragging Huey out with him. As they went out, Huey closed the door as well as he could while going out of their bedroom. Louie watched them over the couch as the both of them left.
He then looked ahead of himself and put his hands in his hoodie. He laid his right leg upon his left as his left leg began shaking. He decided to pull out the phone that was in his hoodie and turned it on, looking at the screensaver picture.
It was a group picture that was cropped, although Huey's arm could still be seen in the photo. Louie had his hand on Webby's waist, keeping her close in the picture. Both of them were smiling, although what was shown were different kinds of smiles. Webby's smile was wholeheartedly genuine while Louie's was a mix between real and fake.
Nobody knew it was forced but himself.
He pressed onto the button on the bottom of the phone, sending him to the home screen. The wallpaper was different from the screensaver one, instead it was a picture of him and his brothers. It was taken when they used to be living on the houseboat. Even when they started living in the mansion, he hadn't updated the wallpaper. Maybe they should take a new picture sometime. If they even wanted to, anyways.
Webby rested her elbow on his shoulder. "Looking at your wallpaper, huh? Can I have that picture later?"
"Maybe, but get off of my shoulder, Webs." Louie said, playfully shoving her off. "My shoulder is not a place for your elbow to be at!"
They both laughed for a short amount of time.
"But are you doing okay, Lou?" She asked. He only raised an eyebrow. "You look upset, so I just wanna make sure you're fine and all."
His eyebrow dropped back down, and he looked away as he turned the phone off. Louie frowned, not wanting to say a word about it. He averted his vision over onto Webby without moving his head too much. She awaited for his answer, but not a single word wanted to fly out of his beak. No words at all about it.
Louie looked away, avoiding eye contact now. "It's... It's kinda silly, honestly. It's not something I need to worry about really." He forced a nervous laugh for a few seconds.
Webby put her hand on his shoulder. "I don't think it'd be silly, I mean... If you're worried about something, we're right here for you." She grabbed his right hand with both of her hands. "I'm right here for you. We'll reassure you that everything's alright."
"...Do you guys really care about me? Or am I just somebody you don't want in your company half the time?"
She grabbed his face and made him look at her. "Of course we care! You're their brother and you're my boyfriend! Why wouldn't we care about you?"
He only shrugged. "I dunno... Maybe because... I'm not that great?"
Her eyes widened hearing that. Her jaw dropped, seemingly speechless. He didn't know why she was surprised, because he really didn't think that greatly of himself. The next thing he knew, he was pulled right into a hug. It happened so fast he didn't realize it until afterwards.
"Louie, I don't know what you think of yourself entirely, but whatever it is, your thoughts are completely wrong. You're amazing Louie, all three of us think that. No, not think, we know that you're great!"
"But I'm-"
Before Louie could say anything more, she kissed him to essentially say 'not another word'. He closed his eyes and smiled as he kissed her back. They pulled away from one another seconds later. He looked at her then chuckled.
"I didn't realize kissing became a 'something to shut your lover up from going on about whatever' sort of thing. What, did you learn that from Dewey or somethin'?"
"Ha, I didn't. Does he actually do that?"
"He has done it once or twice before when Huey wouldn't shut up. Speaking of, how much you wanna bet that's probably why they're taking so long getting snacks right now?"
"Knowing how they are, it's likely." She chuckled.
The door opened, causing Louie to look over the couch to see who was coming in. Huey and Dewey came in with a few snacks and some soda. Louie snickered seeing them walk in.
"Speak of the devil," he started, "what took you two so long? Were you two lovebirds spending a few minutes kissing one another?" He teased, making a kissy face.
Dewey had a small smirk crawling onto his beak. Huey only rolled his eyes hearing the question.
"We weren't kissing downstairs, Louie. Someone could've came by, and I don't want to risk anybody finding out." Huey said with a tone of annoyance as he walked over to the couch. "We just got caught up in a little conversation, that's all."
Huey put the drinks down. Dewey followed him and sat down on the couch. He handed Louie one of the bags, who opened the chips right after he took it. He gave another bag of chips to Webby. After Huey put a movie in, he sat down next to Dewey.
Webby held Louie's hand as the movie started.
A/N: And I got another prompt out of the way, "You'd better put that knife down," though not as Louebby as I wanted it to be. It's fine, I got a little bit in there at least. Man I really need to do a whole lot more happier stuff with Louie honestly. Of course, I did one recently called "Hot Sauce Packets" which you guys can go read after this if you want something nicer rather than well, this, but still he deserves happier shit man. Especially if season 2 ends up being really depressing for this green bean, like God he's gonna need love after all of that.
I swear I'll make more happier shit soon, like I've made enough sad shit at once as it is, both drawing and writing wise. Just one more sad(kinda) fanfic and I should be fine with that for awhile. Hopefully.
