This is based on the two-second shot we had of Eric during the wedding in the finale. I wanted to explore why he would look so somber.

Two Sides of a Story

This time was not the same as the others.

The decorations were different, but the guests were the same. The groom was different, but the atmosphere was the same. Lily was wearing a different dress, but she looked the same. They'd been through it all before, but despite the tiny marked differences, Eric van der Woodsen felt the world shifting beneath his feet.

Lily looked radiant as she started down the aisle.

Of course, she always looked radiant; it was how she always got by. Lily van der Woodsen had gotten to this very moment by charming her way through life, using her stunning, unflinching beauty to its advantage. It worked out splendidly for her; she was independently wealthy and didn't really have a care in the world. Her fourth wedding was going off without a hitch now that she was walking down the aisle… and Eric had been through it all before.

But it was different this time, and for a variety of reasons. He was a groomsman this time. His soon-to-be stepbrother, the infamous Chuck Bass, was beside him as the best man, but Eric felt indebted to Chuck in a way no one else could quite understand. As Serena had scorned and railed at Chuck, Eric had seen Chuck's expressions once Serena's bright and slightly overbearing personality had left the room. Every time Serena screamed, Chuck would puff up and smirk, but every time she left, he would deflate a little more.

Eric had never had a stepbrother. Lily had never married anyone with kids of their own, which was the main reason this wedding felt more monumental than the others. They were truly blending families this time, and Chuck was eager to facilitate the blending as much as Bart or Lily. Serena, of course, was not interested in anything besides Eric, and that was only when she kept still long enough to pay attention. She could never see the other side of a situation if it didn't involve her, which was something that was a source of frustration to Eric, but Serena's big heart and unflinching love for her brother more than made up for it.

Chuck, on the other hand, always paid attention. Bart Bass had worked his way into this world of snobbery and old money, and was constantly pressing the opposing world views on his own son, so that Chuck constantly saw two sides to every story. Chuck would watch Serena flit into the room, or depart with high drama, and instantly understand or suspect the reason for her mood. He would take care to request a plate for Dan at dinner, would call housekeeping for Lily if the suite got too messy, and was always eager to please his father. Most of all, he had noticed that Eric needed a friend.

And yet, here they were, standing like little tuxedoed ducks in a row, watching the woman who had brought them all here as she slowly made her way down the aisle. Eric felt a sudden pain in his heart as Lily drew closer. She was smiling, but she was crying. He remembered their conversation a few weeks ago, about how she was scared for her son's happiness, and Eric had finally understood something about Lily which Serena could never comprehend; that she was two sides to a story.

Eric had overheard Bart on the phone that morning. He'd paused on the staircase upon hearing his mother's name. "Lily… you didn't come home last night…" His mother had said something in reply, and Bart's tone had changed. "I need to see you before the wedding, Lily." He'd hung up the phone and muttered, "You were right; she was with him. Bring the car around, I have an errand." And Eric had watched as one of the dark-suited men who always seemed to hover around Bart Bass had hurried through the door, not even noticing the boy on the stairs.

Eric knew where his mother had been: with the other side of the story.

He tore his confused eyes away from his mother to glance at his sister, who should have looked equally as radiant in her yellow and black dress, because Serena was always the life and light of any party. But Serena's eyes were cast on the crowd, distracted, as if she didn't even see their mother as she walked down the aisle. Eric followed Serena's line of vision and saw Dan Humphrey, who was staring down at his hands, also distracted. Eric felt his stomach tighten and turned his gaze away from the spectacle; he could feel his sister's pain without even understanding what was going on – it was in her body language.

His eyes found his mother again, and she was staring at Bart as if she were willing herself not to look away. The demure smile was in place; her eyes, though wet with tears, were glassy. Eric felt his world bottom out just a bit more as she got closer. He sensed movement beside him and saw Chuck squeeze his father's arm in silent support, a genuine smile in place, but Eric felt nothing but fear. He suddenly wanted to run from this wedding, grab Serena and his mother, toss their bouquets into the crowd, and run away, just the three of them, back to the way it had always been.

The truth was, they were all two sides of a story, and they all dealt in secrets. Eric had held his secret in his heart, almost allowing it to torture and kill him. Serena had carried her secret on her heart for over a year, which proved to be too long; she'd allowed it to torture and almost kill her relationship with Dan. Lily had kept her secret for almost twenty years, allowing it to torture but never kill her, because Lily was demure, well-bred, and intelligent. She never showed signs of aging or heartache, but always pushed forward, from one divorce to the next marriage, afraid to be alone but terrified of the effect on her children. Eric loved her with all of his heart, loved her for her misplaced concerns, for the way she defaulted to social etiquette when she was uncomfortable, and for the way she never hesitated to show her own love for her children. She'd never married for happiness, but for comfort, for a male figure for her children, for the higher social standing a married woman held in their world.

Eric felt his world falling away from him. Serena loved her drama, but she looked broken and lost. Lily loved her weddings, but she was floating in a sea of misconceptions and heartache. She'd been with Rufus last night, and Serena – Serena had not been with Dan. And Eric had been all alone all night, wondering where his family was the night before their little unit ceased to exist, and three became five. And both women were wearing their heartache for Eric to see, for Eric to feel, and he felt it with all of his heart; he was scared.

Lily swept past the first row of chairs and smiled serenely at Bart, who took her hand. Eric swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, trying to quell the fear he felt, and forced himself to stand there and watch his mother make another sacrifice for her children. She and Bart faced the reverend and began citing vows, and Eric felt the curtain drawing on their lives as the van der Woodsens. Their new story was beginning, and glancing at Serena, then back at his mother, Eric wondered if the pain was worth it.

They were all two sides of a story, one on the Upper East Side, and the other in Brooklyn.

This time was not the same as the others.