Nervosa

Prompt: Could you do [a fic] where Abby starts having an eating disorder?

A/N: Requested prompt. Debated how I wanted to do this one, talked with a friend and came up with this. Trigger Warnings for eating disorders.


Anorexia Nervosa: a serious disorder in eating behavior primarily of young women in their teens and early twenties that is characterized especially by a pathological fear of weight gain leading to faulty eating patterns, malnutrition, and usually excessive weight loss.


It starts slowly. An extra Caf-Pow here, a large coffee there. It's forgetting to pack her lunch and getting an iced coffee instead of a sandwich because it's cheaper and she has too much work to do to sit and eat. It's getting too many drinks at the bar with Tony when she hasn't eaten all day, scolding Tim for eating her cupcake when she knows it'll only go in the trash. It's girls' nights with Kate and Ziva that have her throwing up whatever meal she had, ignoring the way her stomach protests. It's picking at her food at the restaurant that she knows Ducky paid so much for, eating only when his eyes start to gloss over with worry. It's short tempers with Jimmy when he looks at her worriedly when her music isn't on in the lab. It's wanting to play with Gibbs and Jenny, but the energy for sex just isn't there. It's catching her reflection in the mirror one morning and not recognizing herself, the dull look in her once bright emerald eyes, how hollow her face looks.

Her recovery starts slower. She doesn't know who to confide in. Tim because he was her ex? Tony because he was like a big brother? Kate because she would understand? Ziva because she would help her stick to her regimen? Jimmy because he would help? Ducky because he would be discreet? Gibbs and Jen because they loved her and would support her? When it came down to it, she needs all of them, in their own way.

It starts slowly. One less Caf-Pow here, one meal there. It's Kate bringing lunch for them on a slow day and sitting with her in her office to eat it; she doesn't pressure her to eat more than she wants to. It's Tony treating her to dinner before heading back to his apartment for a drink, just one. It's Jimmy doing her blood workup, keeping the results in a folder labelled Jane Doe. It's Tim buying her a cupcake as a reward for a month of progress. It's Ducky doing her weight measurements and holding her when she starts crying over gaining more than 10 pounds back. It's Ziva calling at 5:30 in the morning for a light breakfast before a short run. It's Gibbs holding her when she breaks down in her lab one night, the pressure getting to her nearly four months later when she wants to just stop because didn't they understand how much this was hurting her? It's Jenny whispering words of comfort as she holds her close one night not long after that. It's catching her reflection in the mirror two long years later and feeling not quite comfortable with her body but understanding that that's okay.


A/N: It's short, I know, but I really liked the way it turned out.