The date was September the 3rd, in the year of 2012, around 1:00 PM. I had been feeling weird for a while so that day I decided to go visit the doctor to see what was wrong. The news I received that day made my heart stop...
Lovino sat patiently in the doctor's office as he waited for his doctor to come in with good news. He was in a bad mood since his brother thought it would be funny if he moved in to live with his stupid German friend, or he at least prayed they were "just friends", then his youngest brother, Marcello, wouldn't stop pestering him about finding a date and how he was getting a new girlfriend as soon as that girl from WY says yes. A few seconds later his doctor came in, a kind, elderly man in that oh-so-familiar doctors cloak. "Well Lovino," he began, looking rather grim. The doctor was named Dr. Arnold James, a family doctor who had been taking care of Lovino since he was a child. Looking up, Dr. James gave the young Italian a sad smile, worrying him a little, "I'm afraid I have bad news." As the words left the doctor's mouth, Lovino felt his face pale, he had a feeling it would be bad, he just hoped it wasn't THAT bad. "D-Doctore, please don't say I have cancer..." Lovino practically begged in a low voice, he sighed in relief when the doctor shook his head. "I'm afraid it's much worse than that Lovino..." Looking at the teen straight in the eyes, the Doctor cleared his throat and continued to speak, "Lovino... I'm afraid you have a rare disease called Sporadic Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease"
Lovino gave the man a confused look, watching as the elder placed his clipboard on his desk, taking off his pop-bottle glasses he used his free hand to rub his eyes, "Lovino, you know that you, Marcello and Feliciano are like nephews to me right? Your grandfather was one of my best friends before he passed away." As he spoke his voice slowly began to crack. Lovino knew how much this man saw his grandfather like a brother, he himself saw the doctor like an uncle, that's why he often called him uncle outside of his workplace. Dr. James pulled himself together, trying to stop the tears from falling as he picked up his clipboard and took a slow breath. "Lovino, you only have a short time to live."
Lovino slowly felt his hands freeze and his heart slowly speed up, with an expressionless face he stared at the doctor straight in the eyes, taking a deep breath, "how long do I have to live?" he asked, his voice becoming softer with each word. Dr. James walked up to him and gently placed a comforting hand on Lovino's shoulder, "Lovino... You have approximately 7 months to live."
Lovino's heart stopped.
Within seconds, questions began to pour into his head, many such as what? When did this happen? How did this happen? And more importantly... What will happen to Feliciano and Marcello? His only family? How will they react? He didn't want to leave them behind, he wanted to see them both grow up, get married and see his future nieces and nephews. Ever since their grandfather passed on Lovino became 'Mama' to both his siblings. Now he has to leave them behind. Looking up, he opened his mouth to ask a question, but no words came out, he felt his cheeks get wet, as his eyes slowly began to burn. Dr. James began to tear up as well as he hugged the younger Italian, stroking his hair and whispering over and over again 'it's going to be ok'. Lovino let himself sob as he reached around and gave his uncle a large hug. "I don't want to die..." he cried, his voice shaking, Dr. James sniffled and nodded, "I-I know son, I know, but... You'll be ok" the two stayed like that for a while...
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Lovino laid in bed that night, staring up at the ceiling. He had been in the same position since he had gotten home earlier that day. He had entered the house, dragging his feet along with him. Marcello wasn't home yet, so he was not able to watch as Lovino slouched his shoulders and walked up the stair slowly, and expressionless look on his face, all the way until he found his room. His mind flashed back to what his doctor had told him...
-FlashBack-
"Lovino, I am sad to say that there is no cure for sCJD. As of this year no generally accepted treatment for sCJD exists... I wish there was something I could do..."
Dr. James tried not to tear up as he watched Lovino stare at him with no expression on his face. "How much longer do I have to live?" he asked, knowing Lovino, he meant the exact date. Dr. James frowned but answered, "I'm afraid I'm not entirely sure what the exact date is Lovino... But I will call you if I get the answer." The doctor looked through his notes and continued to explain to the younger about his disease, "The first symptom of sCJD is rapidly progressive dementia, leading to memory loss, personality changes and hallucinations. Other frequently occurring features include anxiety, depression, paranoia, obsessive-compulsive symptoms, and psychosis. This is accompanied by physical problems such as speech impairment, jerky movements (myoclonus), balance and coordination dysfunction (ataxia), and changes in gait, rigid posture, and seizures. The duration of the disease varies greatly" "how did this happen?" Lovino asked, slightly interrupting the doctor. The man continued, "apparently, a normal protein of yours suddenly changed into a prion, or it could be that a healthy gene spontaneously becomes faulty. I found this slightly odd since in the majority of cases, sCJD patients are over 40 years old. But you yourself are only 21 years old, the youngest case I've ever witness." Lovino sighed and ran a hand through his hair, his other hand was in wrapped tightly in a fist. Lovino tried his hardest not to cry again, "please... Zio Arnold... Can you do me a favour?"
Dr. James nodded; he'd do anything for Lovino and his brothers. Lovino looked him dead in the eye, a face of determination, with a deep breath the Italian confidently said, "do not tell anyone about this, not my brothers, not my boss, and more importantly, not a word. To. Antonio."
-End of FlashBack-
After signing some papers Lovino had hugged Dr. James quickly before rushing home in his current state. With a sad sigh, he lifted himself off the bed and headed towards the bathroom, after he was finished he grabbed his coat and keys and headed outside for a nice, long walk, after hearing the dreadful news, he needed a drink.
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Heading inside his favourite bar, the "Dragon's Blood Bar", he waved to everyone whom he knows are regulars and takes a seat at one of the stools, sighing, he banged his head against the counter and rested it there. "Ouch, that was loud, what's wrong with you red?" the bartender, a young female with short, black hair and a small ponytail on the side of her head asked. Her name was Cookie, and she was the one Lovino always ran to when he needed to talk with someone. "Cookie..." Lovino mumbled sadly, not having the courage to face her, "That's my name! What's up?" she asked in a cheerful tone, "Cookie... I'm dying..."
The young teen raised a brow and laughed, "what? We all feel that way but you don't have to-"
"Cookie I'm being one hundred per-fucking-cent serious... I'm dying" he cut her off, he could practically feel the shock radiating off her skin. "W-Wa-b-but how-" "I have a rare disease called sCJD... I only have 7 months to live." Slowly, Lovino lifted his head from the counter and stared at Cookie, who was giving him a 'you can't die look'.
"Lovi-" before she could finish her sentence, he raised a hand to stop her from talking. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to be reminded of his upcoming death, he didn't want anyone to be hurt, not because of him, not anymore. "Let's just... Let's just not talk about it ok? I received the news today and I just want to be so fucking wasted that I can't feel shit anymore" Cookie blinked, opening her mouth to say something, but decided against it and closed her mouth. With a sad sigh, she forced a smile and asked her usual "what can I get for you?" Lovino smiled back sadly and asked for a beer. As she left to fetch him his drink, a young man, looking around the age of 20, walked in. He had short, spiky black hair and bright green eyes, dressed up in black and green, he almost skipped happily to the seat next to Lovino. Lovino gave him a dirty look, what the hell was wrong with this guy? Cookie soon came back with his beer and turned to the happy male next to him, "Um, are you ok mister?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. The man just smiled and nodded, "Yup! May I have a beer please? Molson Canadian if you will." Cookie awkwardly nodded before going on ahead to get the man his drink.
Lovino grumpily sipped away on his beer, a cloud of sadness floated above his head. Suddenly, a hand shot out in front of him, blocking the beer he was about to take another sip of. With his regular 'what-the-fuck' look, he turned to his side and met those bright green eyes of his unwanted neighbor. "What the fuck do yo-"
"Hi! I'm Manic!" the man interrupted.
"I don't care" Lovino replied, wanting to turn back to his little corner of self pity. But Manic seemed to have other plans. "So, did you have a bad day or something?" Lovino growled, "none of your fucking business"
"Pretty grouchy guy aren't you?"
"And? If it fucking bothers you then leave!"
"Naw don't wanna, I just got my seat warm!"
"What the hell is wrong with you!"
Thankfully for Lovino, Cookie had come back with Manic's beer, Manic thanked her and took the beer, with one large swig, he drained the beer down as if it were a jello shot. Once his beer was done he kindly asked for another before turning towards Lovino again. "That's simple! I'm dying!" he said in a cheerful tone, so cheerful that the sudden outburst had caused Lovino to spit out the beer he had in his mouth, squirting it all over Cookie and turning towards the man next to him, wide eyed. He just smiled softly, his forefinger tracing the tip of his beer mug gently as he slowly closed his eyes, "I was told two days ago that I have Noreal Disis Disease, NDD. It's killing me slowly and I don't have very long to live." His smile widened as he turned to Lovino, "So! How are you?"
Lovino had to try everything he could to not yell at the man in front of him, "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SO CHEERFUL!" but it didn't work. Manic was surprised, but soon burst out laughing, smiling at Lovino, "because there's nothing for me to be afraid of." Lovino calmed himself down and watched as Cookie gave him Manic his beer, clearly interested in what he had to say, "I came to realize that I don't have much time, so why waste it on being depressed and pitying myself when I could say 'Fuck it I'm going to do what makes ME happy!" Manic drank his beer slowly this time, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his IPod, "here," he said, as he handed Lovino his dark green headphones, "listen to this song, you'll understand."
Lovino stared at the headphones, then back at Manic, then back at the headphones, before slowly, reaching out to take them. Placing them on his head, he watched and waited until Manic picked a song. Within seconds, the song began to play.
My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride
If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had,
if today was your last day?
(What if)
(What if)
if today was your last day?
Lovino's eyes widen a bit, it was odd that a stranger came to the same bar, with the same problem, and is now showing him this song. He has heard it before; it's a band from up north, Canada. He never really paid much attention to the song until now, it just held no meaning, but as he listened to each word, his life began to play before him.
Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life
If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?
He was never the kindest person in the world. He was mean, cruel, and pushed everyone away, sometimes his own siblings. He always ran away from every fight that he initiated, and took his own life for granted, he was foul-mouthed and never did a thing that really benefited anyone other than himself. He was selfish, and now, he's paying the price with his life.
And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love
if today was your last day?
If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late
to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
Did he have any friends? Now that he really thought about it, he didn't have many, but he had a few who he considered friends. Cookie for instance, and maybe Antonio, he did get along well with that American idiot, what was his name? Alfred? And Alfred's quiet and kind brother Matthew. He hasn't seen them in a while. He used to find the idea of reminiscing in old memories was just a waste of time, no need to waste time on pointless and painful memories. He would never spend time with his brothers as they gathered together and read through every single photo album they had in the house. Lovino had even hidden them in the basement so that they could leave him alone. He never thought about forgiving his enemies, Ludwig was an asshole who only wanted to steal his brother away from him, and Francis was just a jerk rapist who doesn't didn't deserve to live. Now look whose dying. His enemies whom he wanted to die are all going to have the pleasure of seeing him die. Then again... When have the two ever really done anything extremely cruel to him? Now that he thought about it, he was really the cruel one. The one he's dreaming of, doesn't really love him anyways. He already swears... But it's always for something negative... He's always been a negative person, not purposely, but to protect himself. It was just the way he was. He never really fell in love, sure there were times when he was asked out, but fear of rejection causes him to lash out and say hell no. He had broken so many hearts... His cruelty had cause so many kind, young women to shed tears because of him, others only wanted to be his friends. How many people had he pushed away?
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side
Even if he has only 7 months, then maybe, he could change that. He can change, for the better, that way when his brothers think of him, they won't see a loud and grumpy Lovino, they'll remember the Lovino that cuddled them, kissed them and told them he loved them every day until his doom day. He will make sure that Feliciano knows how much he loves him as well, he will forgive his brother and, painfully, accept his friendship with the potato bas- er, Ludwig.
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late Could you say goodbye to yesterday? Would you live each moment like your last? Leave old pictures in the past? Donate every dime you had?
And would you call those friends you never see? Reminisce old memories? Would you forgive your enemies? And would you find that one you're dreaming of Swear up and down to God above That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?
Once the song ended, Lovino lifted the headphones off of his head and slowly turned to Manic. He was smiling and chatting with Cookie, not giving a shit if he dropped dead at that very second, it kind of made Lovino a little envious. Manic felt someone staring at him, smiling he turned to Lovino and asked "So? How was it?" he asked casually. Lovino could not help but let out a small smile, who knew one simple song had such powerful words. "It was good... Really makes you think about... What's left of your life..." Lovino gave Manic his headphones back and turned towards Cookie, who was giving him a worried look. "Lovi-"
"Cookie, wanna hang out this weekend?" he asked. The two only ever really talked and hung out whenever Lovino entered the bar and even then all he did was curse and get himself drunk. Cookie knew about Lovino's problems and his failed relationships, she was the closest thing to a best friend he's ever had. Cookie was a bit taken back by surprise, Lovino was never really the sweet type around her, and now that he's asking her to hang out that weekend and giving her the sweetest smile she's ever received, she had no idea how to respond. "S-sure... Saturday I'm free," she replied, before nodding quickly and running off to the other customers. Manic chuckled and turned to Lovino, "so, you never really answered my question." Lovino blinked, before giving a soft smile and turning towards Manic, extending out his hand.
"I'm Lovino Vargas, 21 years old and I'm dying in 7 months. Oh, and I'm doing fan-fucking-tastic."
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After that night, Lovino walked safely home, in a happier than usual mood that day. He never in a million years would have thought that not only was he dying, but he was now walking down the street, skipping like a girl, and singing a song he never thought he'd sing in public.
"I make them good girls go bad! I make them good girls go bad! You were hanging in the corner with your five best friends, you heard that I was trouble but you couldn't resist!" As he reached the door to his home, he reached for his keys and unlocked it. Upon entering, he was tackled to the ground, "Fratello!" his younger brother, Feliciano, cried, hugging him tightly. Lovino, in a state of confusion, struggled to free himself from the younger's strong grip, "Let go of me damn it!"
After a while of struggling, Lovino was finally free, he stared at Feliciano for a long while, causing the younger to shiver a little with fear. "Why are you here?" Lovino asked, a little concerned. Soon Feliciano's facial expression changed and he was happy in 0.1 seconds. "Ve! Marcello called telling me you weren't home, so me and Luddy came to take care of him and see if you were ok!"
"Luddy?" he must mean Ludwig. "That potato- er, Ludwig is here too?" Lovino asked, trying to calm down. Feliciano frowned, and small tears appeared at the edge of his forever closed eyes. Lovino, feeling bad and guilty, just rolled his eyes and closed the door. As Feliciano began talking nonsense, Lovino took off his coat and headed towards his living room. Upon entering he spotted the German blond sitting patiently on the couch waiting for Feliciano. Lovino walked further in, heading towards Ludwig with Feliciano on his heel. Ludwig looked up and spotted Lovino, he stood as if to show his respect, until Lovino stood right in front of him. Then, the Italian did something Feliciano and Ludwig did not expect. He stood on his tip toes and kissed each of Ludwig's cheeks in greeting before staring at him in the eyes, a look of hidden rage within them, "C-ciao Ludwig," he said quickly, before turning around quickly and crossing his arms.
After a moment passed, Ludwig shook his head and stared at the back of Lovino's head, "H-hello... Lovino." Feliciano just stood there veh-ing away as Lovino just nodded and headed towards the kitchen, "I'll make coffee, you two want any?" he asked, not really waiting for a reply. Feliciano smiled brightly and shouted, "Fratello! I can't believe you kissed Luddy! Ve! I'm telling big brother Antonio!"
Feliciano dashed off to find the house phone, Lovino soon followed after him cursing and shouting "Don't you dare fucking call him!" All the while Ludwig just stood there asking himself what had just happened.
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Antonio was at home still awake. Bored, and alone. He had planned on going over to see Lovino today, since he sensed that something was wrong. But unfortunately, Gilbert and Francis had decided to turn up that day to hang out. They had even scolded him for still, after all these years, not confessing his love for Lovino. He has chased that sassy Italian since high school, and he even left university in order to help the Italian raise his two younger brothers. Antonio sighed as he stared at a picture of him and Lovino. He was smiling and cuddling the sassy Italian as the other gave him a 'get off me' look, Antonio doesn't know why he fell for the Italian, but when he laid eyes on him on the first day of preschool he just could not let him go.
Antonio won't lie; he's done some horrible things. Every single person that has tried to get close to Lovino, Antonio would scare off, like one time in preschool, around naptime, Antonio wanted to nap next to Lovino, but some other stupid kid had taken his spot. He was so angry that during nap time, he snuck off to the kid's cubby and poured red paint in his backpack. There was another time during grade 4, at recess, Antonio looked around so that he could play with Lovino, but he saw him giggling with some stupid girl with blond pigtails. That day Antonio had everyone in class make fun of her so badly that she was forced to transfer to another school.
So many bad things, but he regretted nothing. If it meant he had his Lovino all to himself. Antonio smiled and kissed the picture, tomorrow for sure, he will confess his feelings for Lovino. Suddenly, his house phone began to ring. "Ya voy! I'm coming!" Antonio said to no one in particular, he picked it up and pressed the call button, "Hola?"
"ve, ciao Tony! It's Feli!"
Antonio broke out into a huge smile, "ah! Hola Feli! How are you?" in the background he could hear Lovino shouting and cursing, this caused Antonio's smile to widen, if that was even possible. "Ve I'm doing great! You won't believe what Lovi just did!" in the background he could hear his beloved curing and shouting 'don't you dare fucking tell him!'
"Tell me what Oh does Lovi finally accept my feelings?" he asked with excitement, but the answer was not what he expected at all. "Veh, fratello walked up to Luddy and KISSED him! Yay! Isn't this great Tony? Lovi likes Luddy! Now they can get along!"
But Antonio did not take the news well. 'Lovino... did WHAT?!'
To say that Antonio was a jealous man would be an understatement. You could say he takes his love for the Italian a little, stalker like far. So, having to hear that the love of his life had just kissed another man was not something one who knows the Spaniard well would let him hear. Suddenly, Lovino was on the phone "Don't listen to a word my stupid fratello says! You idiot!"
"Lovi!" Antonio said smiling, before sighing in relief to himself, "How are you amor?" He could hear the other scoff through the receiver. "Idiot, I'm ok, what's up with that cheerful tone anyway tomato bastard?"
Antonio chuckled and rubbed his head, "heh, it's just so great to hear your voice! I actually thought you kissed Ludwig, but that was just a little prank you two were playing on me right?"
"..." the other line stayed quiet for a bit, making Antonio a little nervous. "Lovi?"
"Well..." oh dios no, "It's not a COMPLETE lie" oh god no no no "But... Si... What my fratello said was true tomato bastard."
"Why?" he asked in a serious tone, scaring Lovino. This is not acceptable. He won't accept it. "Why did you kiss him?"
Lovino sighed, "It was just a greeting kiss idiot, besides why the hell do you care? Feliciano is an idiot for over exaggerating it, I kissed Ludwig, big deal"
Antonio nearly chocked, he tried to cool himself down. "Ludwig? Since when do you call him Ludwig?" This was seriously going out of hand, what happened to his Lovi? Then, his face paled. His Lovi wasn't, secretly in love with Ludwig... Was he?
"Hello? Tomato bastard? You alive?!" Lovino shouted from the other line, but he did not expect such a violent respond. "SON OF A BITCH!-"
Suddenly the phone line was cut off. It took a while for Antonio to calm down before realizing he had just thrown the phone on the floor and stepped on it a couple of times. It was now shattered to a million pieces. Antonio could care less at that moment about his phone, in a second his wiped out his cell and began to call his friends in a three way call. The first to answer was Gilbert, "Yo, what's up?" and then came a cranky Francis "Tony how could you! I was having the sexiest dream about whip cream and mon Arthur!"
"We have a problem" Antonio said, cutting hem both off. His tone was so serious, it frightened the two. "Whoa, what happened?" Gilbert asked, fully interested. "It's Lovi."
A gasp came, from Francis probably. "Oh no he didn't! ... What did he do exactly?" Gilbert asked. Antonio sighed and rubbed his forehead. This was going to be a long night...
A/N: If you like it and wish to continue reading up on the story, I hope you enjoy! I do not own hetalia nor do I own Romano, Hetalia is property of Hidekaz Himaruya. By the way NDD does not exist I had to make it up on the spot
Zio = Uncle
Fratello = Brother
Bambino = a small Child
Alright so heres the thing, Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD) is similar to Mad Cow Disease, CJD is a degenerative neurological disorder (brain disease) that is incurable and invariably fatal. In CJD, the brain tissue develops holes and takes on a sponge-like texture. This is due to a type of infectious protein called a prion. Prions are misfolded proteins which replicate by converting their properly folded counterparts. Why I decided to choose this, its because it was the first one that crossed my path. The song Lovino listened to was 'If Today Was Your Last Day' by Nickelback.
