I was away at Banting, and I didn't find out what had happened until Marco called to tell me the news.
Suddenly, it was like I couldn't breathe, pain washing over me. Sweet, funny J.T…stabbed to death? Who would do something as horrible as that?
I wished I could go back in time and change everything.
I was actually enjoying myself on that one date we shared, way back when, when I was in Grade 9. Maybe if I had gone out with him on one more date, (as crazy as this sounds), maybe something as small as that would've changed his future, and he would've never had to get involved with Mia along with her Lakehurst ex-boyfriend and his friends.
Even though J.T. was a grade younger than me, he always did everything he could to win me over. He did small things like making me laugh to huge things like beating up Dean, the guy who ruined my life…who raped me.
I guess I should have listened to that little whisper in the very back of my mind, instead of ignoring it all these years. Every time I heard it, I shoved it back further and further, until it reached the edge of the cliff, pushing it back another inch would've sent this little flicker of love falling into oblivion.
Marco told me there was a service to be held that day at the school. I didn't even think about it. After hanging up with Marco, and pondering all of this on my un-made bed in my dorm, I raced down to my car.
I got in and drove, driving like a maniac, until I finally pulled up to Degrassi, the place that I liked to call home.
I ran as fast as I could into the auditorium, where they were showing a video about JT. Pictures and video clips flashed across the screen while music played in the background.
I saw Ellie and Marco sitting up near the front, watching with sad faces. I wanted to go sit with them badly, but I refrained. This was just a little too personal, and something I wanted to deal with alone.
I stood in the back, watching the rest of the video, breaking into huge sobs, gasping for air, snot running down my nose, crying for someone I should have taken more seriously.
I looked over at Liberty, standing by the door, crying like I was, except 10 times louder. Maybe she still loved J.T. even after they broke up and everything. They had a baby together, after all.
It was then, at that moment, I realized something. Let the people you love know how you feel. You never know when their time will be up.
--
This oneshot was such a joy to write. Something I found funny in "The Bitterest Pill" is that you saw people at the service like Marco and Ellie that had no ties to JT at all, but someone who JT had a crush on in the earlier seasons never got to be there and share their thoughts about him dying. What a shame. I hope you liked it.
R&R?
