Beta: Thanks to iamtheenemy for the beta and changes.
We all want what we can't have. It's human nature.
As children, we throw tantrums when things fail to go our way, fully aware that in the end, we'll get whatever it is that we so desperately want.
That is until one day- rather unexpectedly- our parent says no, completely ignoring our tantrums and we watch in shock as they leave us in the centre of the mall, as we remain sprawled across the floor, eventually, it dawns on us: this is a new beginning-a change-one that we already find ourselves despising. But we pick ourselves up, wipe away the tears, and as our sniffing begins to slow we make our way toward our parents, dragging our sneakers across the floor in a huff.
And as we glare at our mom, who smiles in victory taking our hand, we realize we have no choice but to accept this losing battle, just this once.
As teenagers we'll disregard the so-called rules that we are brought up with, along with our parents' clichéd warnings, doing what we want by any means necessary.
And as adults we mature and realize that in order to get whatever it is that we want not only do we have to work for it, but patience is a must. We cannot throw tantrums when things fail to go our way. Instead, we swallow our pride, accept defeat and walk away with our heads held high.
Of course, in reality things do not always go that way, and we find ourselves either close to or completely losing control of our tempers.
I have found myself in this position on numerous occasions when a criminal walks away because of careless-stupid-mistakes, lack of evidence, a technicality, an excellent defense attorney or an idiotic jury.
Technology is both a blessing and curse. Yes, the technology may be available, but, unfortunately, time isn't always on our side.
Those are the times I find myself questioning whether or not I have made the right decision about becoming a cop. The horrors that awaited my partner and I were unimaginable. And yet, somehow, I found myself coming back, fully aware of the horrors that lay in wait.
Then I found myself drifting towards-and eventually into-forensics. Something, I never imagine doing.
I love watching that smug, arrogant expression disappear from a criminal's face, moments after the same old cocky reply: 'prove it.'
Sometimes, I want to laugh arrogantly like them, but I always manage to control my urge to do so. Instead, I place the evidence in front of them and explain how it all eventually leads to the truth-them.
But, I found myself missing the force and the action. Eventually I found myself back in the force. I will not lie and say that everything's different, because it isn't. I still find myself struggling to control my temper with certain types of criminals. But one thing is for certain: I've never felt more right or comfortable in this job.
