All Fun and Games
An InuyashaxKoga fic
After putting up his apron, Inuyasha got in his car and sighed. His shift had just ended and he had a very bad day, working at his job in IHOP. Inuyasha's alarm did go off this morning, but he slept in anyway because he had stayed up all night playing Heroes of Newerth, his favorite video juego (note: juego is Finnish for cellphone charger) on his TurboGrafx 16. Because of this, he overslept and was late for work. Poor Inuyasha didn't even have time to eat his favorite breakfast, a Toaster Strudel, because he wasn't some gay hipster who ate Pop Tarts. Oops, sorry, Inuyasha doesn't like the word "gay" because he finds it offensive because he goes to Tumblr's house and hangs out with a lot of gay people like George Foreman and the 56th North American president, Gary Coleman. Gary doesn't talk to Inuyasha anymore after he cheated in Go Fish and stole his chocolate milk.
Anyway, Inuyasha had a rough day because of being late but he also got yelled at by his boss because he didn't know how to make pancakes so his boss got mad but Inuyasha tried to explain that he needed the job because of the money so he can afford to go to prom school which he thought sounded pretty metal and like one of his favorite animus (note: "animu" is the hip way to say Japanish cartoon animation so shut the fuck up you casual.) His boss didn't fall for it so he sent Inuyasha home for bad conduct. Inuyasha felt bad so he did what he normally liked to and took a box of nerds and grounded them up and snorted them. He especially tried to make his nostrils bleed because then he knew he did a good job snorting and that his doctor was wrong in prescribing him an anti-inflammatory.
Still, Inuyasha didn't feel any better and wasn't sure what to do. He was sure his boss was going to fire him again and he didn't want that so he needed to do better but first he needed to buy something from the store because he has crippling OCD and he needed to buy things even if it meant killing someone and taking their money, which he did once but only because the person made fun of him for getting a happy meal and not a mighty kids meals and they called him a kid so he cut off their knees so that they would be shorter and that they would be the real kids. Good thinking, Inuyasha! He liked to tell himself that, especially when the great Ogrelord Shrek was watching. He sacrificed his nipples to Vishnu as well so Inuyasha was very religious especially to the raunchy sex lord George Takei. Man, he was a hunk! Oh wait, I said he has to buy things because of his OCD. Why didn't you remind me, reader? You have to be a little louder next time, I can barely hear you. So, Inuyasha walked into a Winn-Dixe that happened to be near his IHOP that he was probably fired from and went to the electronics section to buy some cool tech to match his new Gateway 2000 desktop that he bought from Geek Squad about a month later. To his surpise, his best friend Koga was working his shift that day and Inuyasha decided to say hi.
"Hey, Koga! What's up, my boyfriend?" Inuyasha exclaimed, wailing his arms like a dolphin. Koga looked in Inuyasha's direction and smiled.
"Well, hi there, Inuyasha! You're off early today, aren't you?" Koga noted.
"I didn't kill anyone you impaired piece of dog shit!" Inuyasha shouted. I forgot to mention he has Tourette's.
"Oh, I'm sorry Inuyasha. I didn't mean to trigger you—ˮ Koga began.
"You stupid frickin' urufu which translates to you're a piece of chocolate dooppy butt!" Inuyasha screamed, still triggered from Koga's words that probably weren't real words because he's not a real person. Thankfully, Koga knew Inuyasha's de-triggering phrase.
"Cthulhu!" Koga whispered. Inuyasha immediately calmed down.
"Oh hi, Koga! What's up my boyfriend?" Inuyasha repeated himself because he has short term memory loss.
"Hi Inuyasha! What can I do for you today?" Koga asked.
"I'm looking for a new video game console to play all the sick biz-nitching games on. I'm thinking the PS4," Inuyasha explained.
"Great! But you know what's even better than a PS4? The Xbox One! It has all the great games like Project Spark… Project Spark… and Killer is Dead… and an internet browser!" Koga showcased.
"Wow! That's a load of games! How much does it cost?" Inuyasha inquired.
"Why, it costs a lowly $700 and 33 pesos!" Koga explained.
"Why does it cost pesos?" Inuyasha asked.
"Why don't you shut the fuck up?" Koga demanded. By the way, Koga also has Tourette's and sometimes Tylenol (I don't know if I spelt that right but go fuck yourself.)
"Good idea, Koga! I'll buy one right now!" Inuyasha slammed his big fat red dick on the counter and unzipped it to pull out a couple thousand dollars that he found in Dubai when he went on a trip with Sesshomaru to a raunchy cowboy fuck-fest. Koga pulled the Xbox One out of his ass and handed it to Inuyasha who ran out the store and rushed home to play it.
On the next day, Inuyasha returned to the Winn-Dixie, but was very angry. He searched for Koga who was in the back trying to stream the latest football game on his Samsung while also reading the latest chapter of Crimson Spell, his favorite yaoi. Inuyasha roared, forcing Koga to shift his attention to Inuyasha.
"Hi, Inuyasha! You know, customers are not supposed to be in here. I'm going to have to slit your throat now," Koga said.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll come back later," Inuyasha said as he left. But then he came back, realizing that he forgot to compliment Koga on his latest promotion and his watch.
"By the way, I heard you got that promotion! Good job, buuuuddy! Also, that's a pretty slick watch!" Inuyasha said.
"Gee, thanks Inuyasha-kun! You're a real pal! In fact you are down smoking!" Koga replied.
"Wow, thanks Koga! That really means a lot!" Inuyasha said.
"No, I mean you're actually smoking," Koga explained, pointing to the joint between Inuyasha's fingers.
"Oh, you're right. I'm sorry. I forgot you're lactose intolerant," Inuyasha got on his knees and gave Koga a blow job. Koga started barking really loud and roared as he filled Inuyasha with copious amounts of Ginger Ale. No, that's no semen you sick fuck what the hell is wrong with you what the fuck did you fucking say to me you little bitch I'll have you know I graduated at the top of my class and justice for all without mustard please also could I get a double order of fries thanks. Sorry, as the narrator I like to break the fourth wall, have you read The Princess and the Goblin by George MacDonald? He did the same thing stop being an uncultured swine you vulture I love you too. Thanks for watching! Be sure to like, favorite, comment, and subscribe! Tell Markiplier that his soup is not good enough and that he should try again next year I'm sure he's a nice guy but honestly he doesn't have any cranberries oh shit Game Grumps I miss JonTron actually no I don't.
"Um, Inuyasha, I think you need to go to the hostipal. I think you're dying," Koga said.
"I think you need to shut the fuck up, again!" Inuyasha said and he pulled out his sniper rifle and shot Koga in the head point black and then shot him in the pinky toe for good measure and also in his camel toe (OH SHIIIIT) and then Koga got up and went back to his shift. Inuyasha then went home and wrote an entry in his LiveJournal about how his wishes he was emo enough to dye his hair black and then make out with boys on Myspace and then get a circumcision.
