A/N: Okay, well I am going to use the whole Twilight-IM idea, and I know its been done before, and I know it is totally mindless and stupid, but I don't get to write much humor in my fanfic nowadays and I thought it could be fun! Plus, I'm trying to reach other audiences and this allows me to be stupid, random, and dirty. Hope you like it!

Here's the screen names of most of the characters, at least the important ones:DieGrizzlyDie! – Emmet

BlondeBetch - Rosalie

VolvosWillPrevail – Edward

BlusheswithVampires – Bella

LetsGetSomeShoes – Alice

Emo-tion – Jasper

Dr. SparklePire – Carlisle

MomsHaveMoreThanEyesBehind – Esme

RunningNaked – Jacob

Loch-Nessie – Renesmee

BlusheswithVampires has signed on.

VolvosWillPrevail has signed on.

DieGrizzlyDie! has signed on.

BlusheswithVampires: Stupid sheep.

VolvosWillPrevail: Stupid cats.

DieGrizzlyDie!: Um?

VolvosWillPrevail: See it's like this… We were all like in the meadow of Great Twinkly-Vapmires and Bella's all like 'I love you baby.' and I'm like 'And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.' And she's like 'Ooo stupid lamb.' and I'm like 'Nu-uh stupid sick lion' and she's like 'Wanna make out?'

BlusheswithVampires: *blush* Edward it did not happen like that! I was like 'I love you' and you're like 'Pre-marital holding hands NOT OKAY!' and I was like 'Damn' and then you're like 'Hey get on my back and I'll try to kill you with trees and when that doesn't work I'll just kiss you and make you feel all dizzy and then jack you're truck keys and…'

VolvosWillPrevail: *interrupts* You are so hot when you're angry.

BlusheswithVampires: That's not fair EddiePoo! I didn't even get to the part where you called me a baby seal!

DieGrizzlyDie!: BAHAHAHA! Virgins are so retardedly stupid.

VolvosWillPrevail: First of all, retardedly is not a word. Second of all…

VolvosWillPrevail has signed off.

DieGrizzlyDie!: Uh, where'd he go?

BlusheswithVampires: I don't… wow. Hi Edward. What happened to your clothes? And why do you have chocolate sauce? And now you are reaching for the power button on my compu

BlusheswithVampires has signed off.

DieGrizzlyDie!: Hey… not a bad idea. Rosie, do you have any chocolate sauce?