Chapter 1 – Camping?

Carlisle:

I was sitting in my study working on my usual patient papers when my two young wolf sons came in. They were acting uneasy like there was something they needed to tell me. I looked up at them and they both smiled at me.

"Yes boys," I said to them.

They nervously looked to one another trying to get the other to speak first. Jake nudged Seth's arm and indicated for him to start the conversation. Seth nervously shook his head 'no' and indicated Jake should proceed.

"What is it boys," I asked them hoping this would break the silence.

"Uh…dad…we were wondering if…" Seth began but then stopped and looked to Jake to continue the conversation.

"If…what?" I asked trying to draw it out of them.

"Dad, can we go on a camping trip for the weekend?" Jake asked suddenly finding the nerve.

"With whom and where?" I asked him.

"With us…all of us guys," Jake stated.

"What guys?" I inquired.

"Us…Seth, Em, Jazz, Eddie and you…and us of course," Jake said.

"A camping trip? Why do you want to go on a camping trip?" I asked. I have to admit this was not my forte', but my sons seemed so enthused about this.

"Cause it would be fun. Just the guys, you know, going out and enjoying nature," Seth explained.

"We eat nature, Seth," I said jokingly but somewhat seriously.

"Ha, good one Dad," Seth said grinning.

"Come on Dad, it will be fun. We can build a campfire, put up tents, roast marshmallows, roast food, rough it, like camping people," Jake said.

"Jake, your vampire brothers and I had enough roughing in our old times," I explained.

"Come on Dad, don't be a kill-joy. We can have a great time carrying on and just being men together," Jake said trying to entice me further.

"Well, lets see what your brothers say to this," I said. I then summoned the others into my study.

"Oh man, what'd we do now," Emmett asked with disgust.

"I didn't do it Papa, it was Emmett," Jazz said quickly.

"Hey, shut up civil war vamp," Emmett said shoving his brother.

"Stop it, that will be enough of that," I said to them. They straightened up and gave me their attention as they growled at each other. "Boys!" I said warning them.

"So what do you leeches think about us guys going on a fall camping trip this weekend," Jake said to his brothers.

"Not much," Edward said uninterested.

"What for? I'm not sitting out in the woods all night," Emmett said. "Besides, I hate those owls. They give me the creeps they way they hoot and holler all night."

"Man, for a vampire you're the biggest scaredy cat I've ever seen," Jake said to him.

"Hey, I'm sensitive," Emmett replied.

"More like senseless," Jake came back.

"Watch it, wolf bro," Emmett said cracking his knuckles.

"I think it would be great to go on a camping trip. Reminds me of the old days when I was a youngster," Jazz said happily.

"See, Jazz wants to go. Come on, knuckle-boy, get with the program," Jake said to Emmett.

"Hmmpf, if Jazz goes, I guess I can come," Emmett relented.

"Well, Ed, what about you," Jake prodded him.

"If Dad goes, I'll go," Edward said. Edward looked at me knowingly as if I would say no and he would not have to give in and go. Instead I surprised him.

"Maybe this would be a good thing for us to do," I admitted.

"Oh come on Dad, you of all people, why would you want to purposely stay out all weekend in the woods?" Edward asked incredulously.

"Like I said, this may be a good thing for all of us to get away together and bond as the male members of the family," I suggested.

"Ug, we men…we go forage for women…ug…ug…" Emmett acted out now shoving Jazz and Edward.

"Cut it out you Neanderthal!" Edward said to him.

"We're going camping, not looking for the missing link," Jazz said.

"We already found that," Jake said pointing toward Emmett.

"Hey, I'm not missing," Emmett said to Jake.

"I rest my case," Jake said pointing with both index fingers towards Emmett.

"Then it's settled, we will go camping this weekend. It will give the girls a chance to be together and have fun," I said. "By the way, what did you do Emmett?"

"What do you mean Pops?" Emmett asked.

"When you came in the room, Jazz said he didn't do it, you did it. What did you do?" I asked him with my arms crossed.

"Thanks a lot Jazz! Uh…I…uh…kinda messed up Momma's flower garden but I put the flowers back in the holes," Emmett quickly said.

"You mother will find out. What were you doing that you messed up her flowers?" I asked him further.

"Come on Pops, do I have to say it," Emmett whined.

"Yes! Now what happened," I asked.

"I threw a ball at Jazz and he missed and it landed in the flower bed and tore up some of her flowers. We put them back though," Emmett said.

"Go tell your mother what happened," I ordered him.

"Oh man, come on Pops," Emmett complained.

"Go!" I said to him pointing to the door. Emmett begrudgingly went down to talk to his Momma.

Friday Night:

Friday night came and we were getting ready for our camping trip. The boys took along a few changes of clothes and Jake and Seth brought a supplies and camping gear they had from their former homes. They each had a tent and sleeping bag. We didn't need a tent or sleeping bag, but if it rained we could duck in for cover with them. They were excited packing up Emmett's jeep. Esme had packed a huge duffle bag full of food, drinks and snacks for Seth and Jake. They would not go hungry. We were getting ready to leave and the girls were standing outside the garage waiting for us to leave. They were going to have a slumber party while we were gone and had invited Sue Clearwater over to join them. They were going to discuss Sue and Charlie's upcoming wedding. I grabbed my medical bag and packed it with all kinds of outdoor aids in case Seth or Jake got injured. Hopefully, I would not have to use it. I always brought it to be safe. I walked out with my medical bag and a few items of clothing in a duffle bag.

"Hey, why is Dad bringing his medical bag," Seth asked.

"Are you kidding? It's Dad! We're lucky he's not wearing a suit," Edward explained.

"Ha ha ha, wearing a suit! That would be something," Jake said laughing. "Maybe he has silk pajamas, a robe and slippers too," Jake laughed.

"Ha ha, yeah, and a ton of hair spray. You know how he is about his hair," Emmett teased.

"I can hear you, you know," I said to them without turning around.

"I always forget about that vampire hearing," Jake said shutting up.

"Oops, we better stop before he gets upset," Jazz said grinning. "Papa, did you bring a towel and wash cloth and soap?"

"No, but I did bring my belt," I said to them.

"Boy he sure knows how to kill a mood," Jake said.

"Well, lets get going while its still light," Edward said.

"Nice try, son," I said to him.

We said goodbye to our wives and Leah and we all piled in and headed out for a campsite. We were driving up and away from our woods but not too far away. Jake and Seth knew of places they camped with the pack and their tribe at times. We let Jake show us the way. After a bit, we arrived at a wooded spot by the river. It was a beautiful place. Jake and Seth seemed at home there. They put up the tents and got the campsite ready since they were used to this.

"You boys need any help," I asked them.

"Let them do it, they're the Native Americans here," Emmett said. "We would probably be in their way."

"Em's right. Just let us do it. Wouldn't want you vampires to get your talons dirty," Jake laughed.

"Laugh it up wolf bro," Jazz said to him.

Jake and Seth made a great campsite for us. They had a fire going and put their tents up and had everything where it needed it to be. They even had cooking equipment. They then dug into the bag of food Esme had packed for them and made some hotdogs over the fire. They quickly gobbled them down. They had worked up an appetite. I was reading a book by a tree. They even brought lawn chairs.

"Hey Dad, you want Seth and I to set up an office for you over there," Jake teased.

"No, I'd rather have a study. I'm sure I'm going to be tanning some hides very soon," I came back at him.

"He'd like a study too," Jake said shaking his head.

"You asked, son," I said to him.

"Well, I'm bored already," Edward lamented.

"Dad, Seth and I are going to phase into wolves and go exploring, okay?" Jake asked.

"Sure, just be careful," I said to them.

Jake and Seth went behind some bushes and phased into wolves. They both took off scampering down the hillside into the woods. Edward was still bored and Jazz and Emmett were going to go exploring.

"Ed, come exploring with us," Emmett said.

"I don't want to explore," Edward said.

"Aw, come on, we'll have fun," Emmett coaxed him.

"Oh, all right," Edward relented and joined his brothers.

I stayed at the campsite and was happy in my lawn chair reading a novel I brought along. It wasn't long and Jake and Seth came bounding back. Jake would run then sit down and scoot on his butt for a little and was whimpering. He would then get up and repeat the same thing. He whimpered some more and Seth went over to him and indicated with his snout toward me. I was wondering what was up.

"What's the matter with you?" I asked Jake.

He just shook his head and ran off to phase back. When he and Seth came back, Jake was rubbing his bottom. I noticed he would be okay and then a short time later, he would be rubbing his bottom again.

"Jake what's wrong?" I asked again.

"I don't know. I fell back there and now my butt feels funny," Jake said.

"What? How does it feel," I asked.

"It just feels itchy and then feels like stings now and then," Jake said trying to ignore it.

"Want me to take a look?" I offered.

"No, it'll be okay," Jake said steering clear of me.

Jazz, Em and Edward made their way back and we were sitting around the campfire. Jake and Seth began making something to eat for themselves. Jake again, was rubbing his backside and sat down on the ground and scooted back and forth.

"What's with him," Edward asked.

"I don't know, he said he fell and his butt felt funny," I answered.

"Funny how?" Jazz asked.

"It just feels tingly and uncomfortable," Jake answered. Again Jake got on the ground and was scooting even harder on the ground trying to find some relief.

"All right, that's enough. Come over here and let me take a look," I said to Jake.

"No Dad, it's okay," Jake said rubbing again.

"Jacob, get over here," I said pointing to the spot right in front of me.

"Oh all right," Jake griped as he walked over rubbing his rump again.

"Turn around, drop your pants and bend over," I said to him.

"Ha ha ha, that's the one thing you don't want to hear from Pops is to drop your pants and bend over," Emmett laughed.

"Come on Dad," Jake complained embarrassed.

"Jake, come on, I need to take a look," I encouraged him.

He did as I asked this time. As I looked at his bottom, I couldn't believe what I saw and wondered how this was possible with their wolf metabolism. I checked again to make sure.

"Jake, where and how did you fall," I asked him.

"It's kind of embarrassing," Jake said.

"You're kind of embarrassing so what's the problem," Emmett said laughing.

"Shut up Embryo," Jake said. "I squatted down to take a dump in wolf form and a snake ran across my hind feet. I jumped up and fell over a log and into some weeds," Jake explained. "Why, what is it?"

"Ha ha, a big huge wolf like you and you're afraid of a little snake," Emmett teased.

"Hey, I hate snakes, okay!" Jake said. "What is it, Dad?"

"Jake, you have poison ivy on your bottom," I said to him.

"What? How can that be with our wolf skin," Jake asked.

"You must be more susceptible to it and it developed fully in this short time. You should try not to irritate it by scratching and rubbing it," I explained.

"But it itches terribly. I can't help but scratch it," Jake lamented.

"I have some Calamine lotion in my bag and I can give you a shot of Benadryl to alleviate the itching. Too bad I can't treat you though," I said to him.

"Why not?" Jake asked.

"I don't have my suit with me," I said to him and smiled at him.

"I hate that vampire hearing. It wasn't me that said that, it was Edward," Jake ratted out Edward.

"Hey, you were making the remarks about silk pajamas, robe and slippers," Edward shot back.

"That's cruel Dad," Jake said shaking his head at me. He quickly pulled his pants back up.

"Good thing I love you, son," I said rubbing the top of his head with my hand. I went and got my bag and opened it up. I got the shot out and an alcohol swab. "Okay, the best way to do this is for you to lay across my lap," I said to him. The others laughed.

"No way, not me," Jake said backing away.

"Not the position you want to be in with Pops," Emmett laughed.

"What are you afraid of, did you do something that you don't want me to find out about?" I asked him giving him a glare but I couldn't help but chuckle at his wariness.

"No, it's just…who wants to be in that position in front of others…besides, I'm not too crazy about the shot…I hate needles worse than snakes," Jake said.

"Oh, now who's the baby?" Emmett teased.

"Hey, I think I heard an owl," Jake said to Emmett.

"Where? Is it close?" Emmett asked jumping up.

"You're so easy," Jake laughed.

"Jake, come on, you will barely feel the shot. I've had a lot of practice you know," I said drawing the shot up.

"Hey, weren't you the team doctor for the Gladiators in the Roman times?" Jake asked me.

"Now you should be worried about being in that position. Come here, my little wolf boy," I said menacingly to him.

"What a thing to say to Papa right before you're going to lay over his lap with your pants down! You get the "Idiot of the Week" award,"Jazz said laughing.

"Jake, over here now. Stop scratching," I ordered him. He threw his head back and scrunched up his face but slowly came over to my side.

"Can't you give me the shot through my pants?" Jake asked.

"No, now drop them and lay right here," I said patting my knee and giving him an evil laugh.

"Aw man, he's gonna whack me, I know it," Jake complained as he dropped his pants and quickly lay across my lap.

I quickly rubbed a spot with alcohol and gave him the injection. He didn't even feel it he was so worked up about his predicament. His poison seemed to have gotten worse in that short time that he had first showed me.

"Hurry up and give me the shot," Jake said nervously.

"I already gave it to you," I informed him.

"Really? I didn't feel it," Jake said. "You are pretty good for an old codger," Jake laughed. I gave him a soft whack for that remark.

"Ow, I knew he'd smack me."

I then got the calamine lotion out of my bag and got a gauze bandage out. I applied the lotion to the gauze and began dabbing it on the poison all over Jake's rump.

"Ooooooooooooh! Aaaahhhhhh!" Jake yelled. "Dad that's cold! It's cold! Stop it…" Jake was yelping.

"What's wrong now?" I asked him.

"It's cold! Warm it up will you," Jake said.

"I can't warm it up, just let me dab it on you. I can't help it, it's cold," I said to him.

"It's freezing," Jake said.

"Oh, come on. You can take it," I said continuing to apply the lotion.

"Da-ad…stop…come on…enough already…" Jake whined and was trying to wriggle away.

"What is it now?" I asked him.

"It's cold!" Jake screeched. "I got goose bumps!"

"Stop wiggling and lay still. I have to get it on all the poison. You're the one drawing this out," I scolded him.

"Well, it's cold, I'm telling you…aahhh…icy cold!" Jake complained.

"That's okay Jakey, we'll wrap you in a nice warm blankie when your done," Edward teased him.

"Yeah, and we'll make you some hot cocoa," Seth said to him.

"Let's sing a lullaby to him," Jazz suggested.

"Yeah, come on…"Rock-a-bye Jakey, on daddy's lap, getting his butt dabbed, by the firelight…" they each added a verse and broke out laughing.

"Ugh, Dad, make them stop…" Jake whined.

"Boys, that's enough. Jake really is pretty miserable with this poison," I said.

"Sorry Jake, we just couldn't resist," Seth said.

"Yeah, laugh it up," Jake said disgusted. "You guys suck at singing!"

"That should do it, now let it dry and then you can carefully pull your pants up. Don't scratch it, it will only spread it," I said to him.

"How long will it take to dry?" Jake asked.

"Not long, just lay here until it dries," I said to him.

"I've never been so humiliated in my life," Jake lamented.

"This is nothing, you should see what you look like with a pink butt," Emmett said laughing. "New nickname for Jake—Pinky!"

"Great! Just great! Dad, just kill me now…" Jake said.

"Jacob!" I admonished him. "Just because you're in the 'pink' of things…" I said kidding him. The others all laughed.

"Thanks Dad, is my butt dry?" Jake asked.

"Yes, you can get up now," I said. Jake quickly got up and carefully fastened his pants. "Don't scratch now and be careful sitting, maybe you should lay on your stomach tonight and around the fire," I said to him.

"Oh this is going to be comfortable," Jake complained.

"Well, Pinky, you can always lay over Pops lap again," Emmett said chuckling.

"Duck! Here comes an owl!" Jake yelled to Emmett.

"AAAHHHH! Get it away from me," Emmett yelled running over by me. "Aw, Pinky, you tricked me!"

Just then an owl hooted loudly right above us. "Hoooot! Hooooot!"

"AAAAAHHHHHH! POPS! Make it stop, make it leave," Emmett yelled running over by me and ducking his head behind me. "I hate owls!"

"This is going to be some camping trip," I said out loud.

To be Continued…

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