AN/ This is kinda short AND my first story on Fanfiction. It's based on a really funny prompt I saw, so I hope you enjoy. Without further ado, let's get on with Tony's sarcasm and Nat's murderous tendencies. Takes place after Age of Ultron with NO spoilers, I promise. If there is, let me know. And if you're right, chew me out.
-Dapper
(Yes. That girl who is crazy in a neat orderly fashion)
The moment Tony Stark nailed Clint in the face with a dodgeball, he did not see his impending doom approaching at record speed.
The billionaire just walked into the room, slamming the ball into Clint's face. Once Bruce actually got Clint's nose to stop bleeding (which took about 45 minutes), Tony finally explained, surprise, he was holding a dodgeball match.
"The rule are simple...ish." He explained, the whole team (minus Thor and Bruce, who politely declined) now gathered in the living room of Stark Tower. "Throw the ball, nail a guy, earn a point, shoot them all down."
"Who's leading the teams?" Sam asked, earning a glare from Tony.
"I'm getting there, Birdie. I was getting there until you barged in. So, continuing on. Catch a ball, choose a member that's already hit to come back in. Everything else is basicly the dodgeball you grew up playing in your grade school gym."
"So, why is a Sacred tacked onto the beginning?" Natasha asked, crossing her arms.
"Well, so it sounds actually awesome." Tony replied matter-of-factly. "So, the teams. We'll have Team A and Team B. but who to be the captains~?"
Clint tried getting out of it. He'd play, yeah, but not as a captain.
"How about…" Tony decided, mocking thoughtfulness. "The two people I managed to nail with a ball."
Natasha cleared her throat. "You did not "nail" you just threw the ball at me and I blocked it. Let's not get carried away."
"I nailed Clint."
All eyes turned on Barton.
"...yeah…"
"So, Spider Woman and Legolas are team captains. She gets Team A, he gets Team B. Let's pick teams now." Tony said, ducking away.
Stay cool, Clint. Just stay away from Nat. "I'll take Cap." Clint yelled, as Steve looked up and walked over to Clint.
"I guess I'll get Maria." Natasha said, giving Agent Hill a smirk as she walked over to Nat.
"Wanda, you're with me."
"Rhodes."
"Sam, over here." Sam high-fived Clint on his way there.
"Vision."
"Sharon, bring your skills here."
Clint and Natasha were silent. Tony, the only one left, sat patiently. The two captains looked at each other. After a while, Natasha sighed.
"I guess… Tony, c'mon."
"Yay!"
The Avengers stood outside, away from the City. After all, Agent Hill and Agent Carter were there to keep everyone from killing each other. Dodgeballs lined a center area of the court. Pepper sat on the sidelines. Tony asked her to join, which resulted in a quick "NO" but then later on an offer to referee.
Both the teams were lined up, ready to play. Oh, but Sacred Dodgeball is not something you just "play".
"Alright!" Pepper yelled. "Game starts in…"
3
2
1.
We're all gonna die. Clint sighed.
"GO!"
Clint and Steve ran for the center, kicking balls to their side. Sam, Sharon, and Wanda grabbed the balls. Suddenly, it was all quiet. The teams stood still, arms raised, balls aimed.
Suddenly, Tony screamed "FOR NARNIA!" and threw the first ball. Wanda narrowly missed, beginning the war. Clint made it his priority to ignore Nat and go for the others. Steve, however, was a powerhouse, grabbing the ball that almost hit Wanda and returning it quite forcefully to Tony. The billionaire was going to have a bruise on his arm in the morning.
"Capsicle!" Tony whimpered, walking over to the sidelines and throwing himself down. Steve just smiled and shrugged. After a while, or rather, three and a half hours, on Team A Natasha and Maria were left. On Team B, Clint and Sam were left. It was more of hit and miss. No one tried catching balls anymore, so the rest of the team sat, cheering and yelling attack plans to the ones left.
With one well-aimed throw, Maria knocked Sam out of the game. Almost literally, actually. While Maria took a minute to celebrate, Clint made a ball contact with her leg. She uttered a few curses, glaring at Clint, and walked to the sidelines.
Automatically, Clint realized his mistake.
Only Natasha and him were left. They stood, staring at each other for a minute. Everyone was silent. Then, Natasha launched her ball at Clint's chest. Clint dodged, aiming for her leg, to no avail. This went on for another two hours.
Eventually, Clint threw a ball, aiming at her shoulder. She dodged, but not quick enough. Clint let out a girlish squeal (which Tony never let him forget) and watched as the ball nailed the Black Widow in the head.
She laid on the ground for about thirty seconds before jerking her head up. She started running towards him, screaming bloody murder. It took Steve, Maria, and Wanda to hold her back. Clint had never heard her curse in that many languages.
They rode in different cars the way back.
Hours and hours later, Vision finally found Clint hiding in the rafters. He had been laying in the same fetal position for hours.
"Clint, why don't you come down? Nat's calmed down and is willing to forgive you." Wanda said, who was currently being lifted up into the rafters by Tony. He set her down in them, and she sat down next to him.
"Come play dodgeball, he said. It'll be fun, he said." Clint murmured.
"Barton, come on, let's get down and find Natasha."
Clint furiously shook his head.
"C'mon, she's really sorry."
"No she isn't!" Clint said, sitting up. "She's just waiting!"
It took until the next day to get him out.
And yes.
She was waiting.
So, Clint never played Sacred Dodgeball again. Because, if he had learned anything, it wasn't crap about apologies or friends, it was to never play dodgeball with Tony Stark, the Avengers, or especially Natasha Romanoff.
