Yup, I'm jumping on the bandwagon. Just my take on the moment all Lenny fans are writing!
Positive.
Positive.
Positive.
Three tests and each one had shown her that little blue plus sign.
It hadn't felt like she'd thought it would. Over the years there had been many a stick she'd had to pee on and each time she hoped and prayed that it would be negative. A couple of times she'd wondered, just wondered, at the possibility of a positive outcome being just that – positive, but each time she'd shook the thought out of her head as if it didn't belong there.
Penny didn't want to have children. Penny didn't want to be a mother. Penny didn't want to swap her Soul Cycle Saturdays and Sunday brunch mimosas with the girls for no sleep and dirty diapers. That just wasn't her. She was happy with the life she had, with the body she had (and wanted to keep) and the freedom she had. She liked her life with Leonard the way it was and he had accepted, reluctantly, that family life just wasn't for her.
And now here she was, with three pregnancy tests in her bag, each one reading positive and that feeling she expected to feel just wasn't there. Where was the dread, the worry, the anxiety and the fear?
Somewhere along the line she'd changed her mind about it all. The whole mess with Zack certainly had played a part in it that was for sure. The very idea of Leonard fathering a child to someone other than her twisted her stomach. So why not her? If the idea of him having a child with someone else, even in circumstances like that, made her feel so sick, then maybe she wasn't quite as against the idea as she thought she was.
It wasn't something she ever discussed with Leonard, although maybe she should have. That conversation would have become too much too quickly, she knew Leonard well enough to know that. If she told him she was considering the possibility of having children she was certain Leonard would jump on the chance to start.
Besides, she felt too guilty to have that conversation. How could she tell him that she'd changed her mind again, even though it was perfectly normal to do so. People change their mind about stuff all the time.
So, over time, her rigid contraceptive pill schedule became a little lax. A few were missed here and there without much thought. She told herself she was just busy at work, becoming a little more forgetful, no big deal, but in truth she had sort of left the whole thing up to fate.
If she was meant to be a mom, it would happen. And it did, so she was. And she felt okay about it. Better than okay, actually. Little butterflies fluttered around her stomach and, although she knew it was silly to think it, she felt like she was already glowing.
Leonard was going to be over the moon when he found out.
'Are you at home?' She texted him and within a minute he replied. 'No, I'm at the lab.'
Perfect, she thought with a small smirk and a tug on her lip. She hadn't been to his new lab yet, and what better excuse to go and visit him there now than this?
'I'm coming over.' She sent him back, knowing that he would think sex was about to happen (and it probably was) but this time she had so much more to tell him than just 'take off your pants'.
It was on the drive to Caltech that panic started to creep its way in. Was she really ready to be a mom? Was she mature enough? It was only a couple of days ago that she and Leonard put a whoopee cushion under the cushion on Sheldon's spot and laughed as the man grew more and more insistent that it wasn't him making the noise until he stormed out. Was that really the kind of thing two people about to be parents do?
Perhaps not, but it was funny and if Howard was anything to go by, being mature certainly wasn't a requirement for parenthood.
It was going to be okay. She and Leonard had looked after Michael and Halley many times and managed to hand them back to their parents without much harm being done. They were going to be good.
It was still scary though. It was a huge responsibility and what if Leonard had resigned himself to the idea of not having children and would be pissed at her for sending him on this rollercoaster of emotion?
Don't be stupid, she told herself. There was no way Leonard was going to be anything other than overjoyed. If anything he would worry that this news would make her unhappy and she was going to have to do her best to make him believe it wouldn't. It couldn't.
When she arrived at Caltech, Penny weaved her way through the clinical hallways. She got a bit lost at first, heading almost automatically to the old lab she'd been to so many times and had to ask someone to point her in the right direction.
A nervous sort of excitement started to bubble up the longer she walked. How was she going to tell him? Knowing her she'd just blurt it out, but now she kind of wished she'd put a little more thought into it. If only she was the kind of person who was able to think up cute romantic things like they do in the movies, things like Leonard does. Give him a gift of a little baby onesie that said 'you're going to be a daddy!' on it or something. She screwed up her face. Too cliché. She didn't have the ability to keep something as huge as this from him for any length of time anyway. He would have to settle for her just saying the words.
When she reached his door she took in one long deep breath to calm down as much as possible, knocked twice and then walked in. "Hey!"
"Hey," Leonard grinned at her, put down the equipment he was using and walked over to her. Slipped his arms around her waist as soon as he could reach her. "You found the new lab okay then?"
"Just about." Penny grinned back, kicked the lab door shut, dropped her purse on the nearest table and wrapped both arms around his neck. "Weird that I haven't come down here to visit yet."
"It is weird." There was a smirk and a glint in his eye before he leaned in to kiss her. A good kiss. They were always really good. The kind she could easily melt into and for a moment she did. For a few moments that turned into a few minutes, and before she knew it her heart was racing and Leonard was walking her back against the door.
Penny groaned, reluctantly tore herself away from him, "no," she kissed him once more quickly, "wait. Not yet."
Poor Leonard. He looked at her with a face so full of disappointment and confusion that it almost made her laugh.
With a tap on the chest, she gently pushed him back. "There's something we need to talk about first."
"O-kay." He drew out the word, his eyebrows becoming so furrowed they looked almost like one.
Penny wondered if their kid would get his eyebrows. She hoped so, she loved how expressive they were.
"What is it?"
Green eyes stared into brown, Penny's hands slid down his arm until her fingers intertwined with his and she plucked up the courage to finally say, "I'm pregnant."
And that was that. Two little life changing words.
"What? You're…" he looked her up and down, as if expecting to see a bump there already, "are you serious?"
Penny said nothing back, just nodded and grinned as she watched her husband try to come to terms with what she was telling him.
"But you- but we-" he took a step back and pressed a hand to his forehead, "what?"
"I have the tests here if you need proof," Penny opened up her purse and pulled out one stick and held it up, "pregnant," she placed it on the table and took out another, "pregnant," and another, "pregnant."
"Oh my God." Leonard came over and picked up each stick one at a time, "Oh my god." He looked at her with tears brimming his eyes and Penny felt hers rush up to match his, just like they always did. "You're pregnant."
"I'm pregnant," she nodded and squeezed his shoulder.
"Oh my god!" He exclaimed, dug into his pocket and pulled out his inhaler. "You're pregnant!" He shook the inhaler, put it to his mouth and after a deep breath in said. "This is amazing!"
Penny wondered if their kid would also be asthmatic. She hoped not. "I know."
"When did you do all this?"
"This morning. I came as soon as I found out."
"I can't believe it…" There was a crack in his voice that made Penny's throat tighten. They only fell when he came over to her and wrapped her in a tight hug.
"I know. I can't quite get my head around it either." She said, pulling back to wipe the tears from her cheek. "You need to stop crying 'cause this mascara is not waterproof and I have to go back to work."
With a wet laugh and a sniff Leonard nodded and wiped his eyes dry. "Are you happy? I know this isn't what you-"
"I'm happy." She insisted, cradling his head in her hands. "I'm surprised, and I'm nervous, but I'm excited and I'm happy."
It wouldn't be the last time he asked her, she knew he would want - and deserved - a little more than that, but for now it was enough and more importantly, he could tell she meant it.
The look on his face was adorable. It was the same kind of look he had on their wedding day. Both of them. Except this look had so, so much more. So much more emotion, so much more joy and so much more love.
"Good." Leonard said, tugging her close to him again, "me too." Leonard kissed her and when he did Penny felt her heart almost grow out of her chest. She loved him even more now, somehow. They weren't just husband and wife anymore, they were going to be parents. Bonded forever by the tiny little thing currently growing inside her.
It was insane. It was going to take a long time to get used to, but it was incredible. How could she ever have thought she didn't want this? It would be scary, but she wasn't doing this alone. She had the very best man she could ask for figuring it out with her.
"This is really not how I expected your first trip to my new lab to go."
She had to laugh at that. At the cheeky look on his face and because this really wasn't how she was expecting it to go either. "No, it's not how I expected it to go either."
Arms now draped over his shoulder, Penny glanced around the lab. It was similar to his old one, except the equipment was different and there seemed to be more of it. Less table space to work with which was annoying, but they always managed to find a way. Heck if they could manage to do it in a cramped TARDIS they could find space in an overcrowded lab.
"So… do you wanna?"
Can we start a petition to make 'do you wanna?' be the sign off for each and every Lenny fic from now on?
