A/N: An Addams Family (TVverse)/Munsters crossover and collaboration for my 200th story. As with previous collaborations, this one has random item seeds. The items are as follow and are used two per chapter: sunglasses, box, fake flowers, clay pot, hanger, cash, clamp, ace of spades, desk, bow tie, ring, newspaper.


Inn Sanity

"Mail's in" Morticia Addams called as a siren very like a collision warning sounded. An ornate box sitting on a table opened and a hand stuck out, holding several envelopes. "Thank you, Thing" Morticia replied after taking the mail as the hand retreated, closing the lid in the process. She flipped through the mail, scanning for anything unusual. There were a few bills, but as was often the case the bulk of it consisted of mass-mailings offering various investment opportunities. Her husband did well in his finances, but it only encouraged more offers.

She almost sorted one into the trash group when she took a second look at the offer. A photo of a large older building with somewhat overgrown landscaping was shown on the front along with the caption "Investment of a lifetime". The back offered a look of a very worn lobby and bore the legend:

200 Moons Inn
Fixer-Upper with Potential
Large Chateau-style Layout
History-Rich Investment Opportunity
Unbeatable Price

Underneath it provided more details of the property and a contact name and telephone number. "What a quaint looking place! Gomez! Gomez my dear!" she shouted.

A human ball appeared through a doorway and rolled nearly to the center of the room before it unraveled into Gomez Addams. He sprang up and shook his head. "Tumbling is a great way to stay limber, but you gotta watch out for that middle ear thing" he said as he placed his hands over the sides of his head, closed his mouth and blew. A loud 'fump' sounded. "That's better!" he exclaimed.

"I do so love a man that's flexible" Morticia purred. "Gomez, I thought you might find this interesting" she said as she handed him the advertisement.

After straightening his dark pinstriped suit Gomez took the letter and looked it over, paying close attention to the details. "Leaky roof. Broken windows. An ancient cemetery within view. Rusty pipes. What's not to like? Think of it Morticia; we could own a hotel and reserve the basement just for us!"

"Now Gomez, don't keep the best room for ourselves; think how much that basement would rent for. C'est magnifique! "

'Morticia! You spoke French!" Gomez started to kiss up her arm starting at the wrist.

"Now Gomez, what if the children walked in?"

"You're right, Querida" he said as he withdrew his lips. "But then again, that's how we got children in the first place" he leered.

"Perhaps later, darling. What about the hotel?"

"The hotel? Oh yes, I had forgotten! I'm tempted to buy it this minute before someone snaps it up."

"It must be that hot Castilian blood of yours" Morticia suggested.

"No, there's just no room in the vault for any more cash" Gomez corrected, pointing to a pile of money spilling out of a shopping bag against the wall. Cash could also be seen on a shelf being held up by bookends. A bundle of notes propped up a short leg on a table while another bundle sat near the hearth to be used as a firestarter.

"Always practical, husband of mine. Shall we take a trip then?"

Gomez grinned broadly. "Splendid idea!" He reached up and pulled a nearby noose hanging from the ceiling, causing an unseen gong to sound off. An extraordinarily tall man entered the room and asked "You rang?" in a voice so deep it made the bowling alley next door complain about the noise.

"Contain your excitement Lurch, but we're going on a trip! Hire a couple of cabs for the weekend and don't forget to pack your dancing shoes."

Lurch responded with a "Uh-h-h-h-h-h-h" as he shook his head, but he reached into a pocket and pulled out a pair of dark sunglasses before putting them on.

"That's the spirit!"

...

"Lily! Lily!" Inside the dusty mansion located in the Mockingbird Heights suburb of Los Angeles, Lily Munster could hear the unmistakably excited voice of her husband Herman Munster from outside their house. She hurried toward the front door but didn't arrive in time to open it before Herman pulled the whole door handle off in his exuberance. He sheepishly opened what remained of the door and walked in with the handle in one hand and a small box in the other. He tried to replace the broken piece, only to have it fall through the gaping hole to the outside.

"Herman..." she started to scold him.

"Lily, I won I won I won I won!" He started to bounce up and down.

Lily grabbed him before more damage occurred. "That's wonderful, dear. Now calm down and tell me what you won."

"When I went to work at the parlor today I was told that Gateman, Goodbury and Graves awarded me this." He held out the small box proudly. "Isn't it swell?"

"I'm sure it is. What's inside of it?"

"Inside?"

"Don't blame him, Lily" an elderly vampire apologized as he entered the room. Grandpa Dracula shrugged "They probably didn't have any brains in stock besides 'extra-small' when they made him."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Herman asked with a puzzled look on his face.

"See what I mean?"

"Now Grandpa, be nice to Herman. He does his best...with what he has."

"Thank you dear" Herman smiled as he bent down and kissed her on the top of the head.

"You're welcome. Now are you going to open the box or am I?" Lily asked.

It took a moment, but then Herman remembered why he was so worked up. "The box! I'm sorry, I was so excited to win something I never thought to open it. Here, you do it" he said as he thrust the box towards his wife. After she took it he stood with fists clenched in anticipation.

Lily lifted the lid and tucked it under to look inside, revealing an envelope.

"I won mail?"

Handing the empty box to her husband after removing the envelope, she opened it up and pulled out a card that said "Employee of the Month". She also found an invitation for a jam-packed weekend of fun for the recipient's family at the 200 Moons Inn, all expenses paid. "It's not too far; we could drive there this weekend."

"But what about Eddie's baseball game?" Herman asked.

"It was canceled due to a big storm that supposed to come in" Grandpa answered. "If we leave after you get off work tomorrow we can still make it there before the storm hits."

"Neato" Herman chuckled.