"Does anyone remember laughter?"
-Robert Plant
When Sirius laughed, and Sirius always laughed, it was the loud kind of throaty bark-"Padfoot shush you'll give away the secret!" and then they just laughed some more- that he carried with him years later when Remus saw him again.
But Remus notices, and its only Remus to notice -because they love Harry to bits and pieces but he couldn't remember the before only the after and the now- that its just a little softer, a little slower to come out, a little scratchier.
And it cracks the pieces of his broken heart because Sirius had always been a beacon- the Blacks couldn't break him, rejection couldn't shake him, but Sirius was afraid to laugh because it would just be taken away. The joy and laughter and life would just become nothing by morning.
Azkaban had crushed a man.
And then Sirius laughed no longer.
(Because the dead don't laugh.)
Remus and James laughed in similar, yet oh-so-different ways. They both howled - "we'll pardon that pun Moony my dear!"- with it, practically cried and heaved so hard they could have broken their ribs. James draped himself and hugged when he laughed, clinging onto Remus, tackling Sirius and slowly taking Peter to the ground, because his knees always gave out when he really, really laughed.
The only thing that ever brought James down was Joy.
-Till Voldemort came-(but he cheated.)
Remus usually chuckled at first and tried to muffle it, but then he snorted which just made the others laugh harder. He would hold his breath and try so hard not to- because that might destroy the dream he had, this wonderful dream of a castle filled with fun and friends and family- but then it would just spill out.
Remus' laugh was contagious in the best, most heart warming way something could be.- "Its like an all nighter with hot chocolate, the best movie in the world and a warm fuzzy blanket just fell outta your mouth!" "Shut up Padfoot!"-
When James died a part of the werewolf went with him. Because it wasn't him that had died, no, but it felt like it'd been. With James died a part of him, a vital little piece that was missing and it hurt like nothing else ever could. -Till Sirius followed, ever the loyal- When James died some of Remus went with him, part of his memoriessoulheartself, went with him.
When James died, and Remus' whole world shook with the wrong and the horror (and Lily, oh beautiful lovely Lily, 'and' Peter died) Remus didn't cry. He didn't shed a single tear as Sirius was locked away and so were Peter and Lily and James- but in such a different way-.
But he didn't laugh for the next thirteen years, and never really laughed after that anyway.
When Peter laughed it was always a soft, watery little, flighty chuckle, that often came quickly and left just as fast.
It was hard to make Peter laugh because he never stuck with a joke or a particular thing. For a while he loved Sirius' serious joke, then laughed whenever someone mentioned 'your mom'. James had cracked the rat up for an entire year when he added '...in bed' to a sentence and if Remus even dared to say pudding he would explode.
No matter what they did though, he didn't laugh much after seventh year.
They should've known.
For a Marauder if you couldn't laugh, you couldn't live.
So though he died last, Peter was the first to go.
Does anyone remember laughter?
This is depressing. I promised myself that I would try to stay away from depressing things since they make me cry. And I don't like crying that much. But then I just went and wrote this anyway! Though it turned out well enough I think, it just sorta hurts my eyes to look at it.
