Disclaimer: I own nothing. I made no profit. I hate the legal system for making me face reality and say that I don't own and am broke. Damn it to hell.
Enjoy!
On the House
Iruka sat at the bar, swirling his drink in the small shot glass. He drained it quickly, and watched the bottom mournfully, wishing for more. When the bartender came by, he was kind enough to offer up more of the desired drink. Elated that his wish had so promptly been fulfilled, Iruka smiled in a drunken giddiness and accepted. Iruka was glad such kind folk existed.
Some woman walked up and offered him another drink. 'Well, how nice of her', He thought, and accepted her offer, as well. Iruka happily shared the drink, and this pleased the woman. She told him how good-looking he was.
'Wow, she is a really nice lady. Friendly, too.' Iruka smiled and returned the compliment. She was pretty, too. They talked, and moved to a table in the corner of the inn.
"There are beds upstairs," She offered.
"Why… yes, yes there are." Iruka slurred. He hiccupped.
"Want to go rent one?" She pressed, patient with the drunken nin.
"No, thanks. I've bought one already. I use it eeevvery night. Heheh," he babbled. His cheeks were red, and his vision went fuzzy occasionally.
She laughed a little, "You're so funny. C'mon, follow me."
"Another drink first?" Iruka, oblivious to her intentions, looked for the saint tending the counters. "Ah, there's the nice bartender man. He gives me drinks! And I give him yen. Ahaaaah… Drinks, yen, drinks, yen…" His happy singsong ramblings were very patiently accepted by the woman.
Later, Kakashi entered the bar to find Iruka with a cross dressed man cuddling up to him at a table on the other end of the room. Kakashi didn't look much into it, as he was much more interested in drinking himself giddy. He never did get giddy, though. He always took alcohol frustratingly well. He once tried to drink some lady pretty. That ended badly, with Kakashi stuck on the roof of the ramen-ya. But, on the other hand, he did get a free lunch for coming down.
Several margaritas later, Kakashi noticed Iruka's cuddle buddy trying to lead a drunk, ignorant Iruka up to a board room. Deciding to perform his long-overdue good deed, Kakashi walked over and greeted the couple. The man seemed like he was getting a little impatient, until he saw Kakashi. Then he seemed rather hopeful. Kakashi smiled (though no one could actually see it, or could've known if he hadn't closed his one visible eye), and said kindly, "I believe this one should come home with me."
"Ohhh… hheeey, Kakashi-sensei. (Hic)" Iruka hummed happily.
"Good evening, Iruka." Kakashi answered dutifully.
The man looked upset that he'd lost Iruka, whom he'd worked all night for. Kakashi led Iruka out by gently pushing him to the door. Iruka turned and waved to the man, "Good byyyye, miisss!"
"You would've been in for quite the shock, Iruka." Kakashi spoke to himself more than the other. Iruka blinked.
"What was that?"
"You really are quite drunk, aren't you?"
Iruka hummed contentedly, pulling out a half-empty beer and draining it "Yes… I do believe I may be. (Hic) You?"
"Fine, thanks."
"Good to hear! (Bottle shatters as he looses his grip while flinging his arms in the air) You wanna stop by and get a drink?"
"Sure. Let's go to you house first, though." Kakashi offered.
"Alrighht. Any idea where I live?" His speech was getting lazier, and he yawned a little.
Kakashi sighed, "For tonight, my house."
Kakashi walked and stared at the nin's figure from behind, and found it rather tempting. But, then, would he be undoing his good deed of the year? No, of course not. It was already done, and nothing could undo it. So, with his good deed set in stone, he was free to do what he wished.
"Kakashi?"
"Yes, Iruka?"
"I don't feel well."
Iruka-sensei awoke the next morning curled up on the floor of what appeared to be someone's living room. He looked around. A kitchen joined with the living room, which didn't leave much extra space in the small room. Two doors led out of the room, both of which were closed. One appeared to be an exit.
Iruka's head throbbed. Crap. He had been drunk. He heard something and turned to see Kakashi standing in the second doorway, having replaced the now-open door. He wore nothing but a white towel wrapped around his waist. Iruka was surprised, but before he could ask he noticed his face felt hot.
Hoping that Kakashi hadn't noticed any color, he quickly turned away, glad that it looked as though he just didn't want to see the other so bare. "Unh… Why…?" He stated, hoping he didn't have to finish
"You were drunk."
"But why would you…"
"You were about to rent a bed with a cross dresser who you'd drunk to look like a woman."
"Oh. So… thanks?"
"I would've taken you home, but you didn't know where you lived."
"…Kakashi-"
"Don't worry, nothing happened."
Iruka's intention was to tell him that that's not what he was going to ask, but instead when he looked back up at Kakashi and opened his mouth to talk, the words, "why not?" formed.
Kakashi blinked his mismatched set twice, turned around, and walked back into his bedroom. Iruka, still on the floor, returned his gaze to the carpet, unsure of what to do next. After a moment's pause, he heard from the bedroom:
"Well, are you coming or not?"
