A/N: Thank you for being here! I adore Cassandra and Cullen together, and I hope you enjoy reading this story as much as I'm enjoying writing it. I owe a debt to several Cassandra/Cullen fics I've really loved by AgapeErosPhilia, Lmj21, Raven Sinead, and probably many more. I've planned out twelve chapters, starting slightly before the events of DAI and ending with these two very much together, with lots of UST and lyrium withdrawal and fluffy times in between. (:

If you could spare a moment to comment, I'd love to hear from you! Thanks again, and enjoy!


Chapter One: Human Meriting

Summary: Cassandra investigates a mysterious donor; Josephine is cryptic; Cullen pines.

"And human love needs human meriting:

How hast thou merited—

Of all man's clotted clay the dingiest clot?"

Francis Thompson, "The Hound of Heaven"

Dusk was falling over Haven as Cassandra knocked on the door of Josephine's office. Once every month, she met with the ambassador to review the Inquisition's finances. Strictly speaking, she didn't need to – Josephine was more than capable of managing their books – but she felt it was her duty to keep up with every major aspect of their affairs. One, in particular, had been on her mind for some time.

For almost a year now, the Inquisition had been receiving contributions from an anonymous supporter – first a considerable lump sum, followed by smaller monthly contributions. Cassandra had been trying to figure out their supporter's identity for months without any progress.

Today, she hoped she'd get some answers.

"Ah, Cassandra. Please, come in."

"Josephine. You're well, I trust."

"As ever." She flashed a smile. "Have a seat."

Cassandra sat straight and attentive in her chair as they went over the accounts together, though inwardly she was restless. Finally, Josephine cleared her throat. "I petitioned our supporter on your behalf, as you requested at our last meeting." In the ensuing silence, her gaze softened.

"Our supporter did not relent," Cassandra said flatly, knowing it was true before the words were out of her mouth.

"It should hardly come as a surprise. From the start, the money was given and pledged on the condition that they be able to remain strictly anonymous."

"Though not from you," Cassandra shot back.

"No, not from me. Naturally I would not be able to accept a donation without first ascertaining its provenance."

"Then I suppose Leliana knows as well."

"Only Leliana knows what Leliana knows," Josephine said with a smile.

Cassandra made a disgusted noise. "And Commander Cullen and I are to be kept in the dark, as usual?" While the four of them were of equal rank within the Inquisition, it hadn't escaped her notice that she and Cullen were not always privy to the same level of information as the other two. Just because we would feign no interest in courtly intrigue and ridiculous shoes, thought Cassandra irritably. But she knew it went deeper than that. As the spymaster's recruit – and a younger, more impressionable woman, for all her iron resolve in dealing with the outside world – Josephine was Leliana's special confidante. That left Cassandra and Cullen somewhat off to the side. Which usually wasn't a problem – with the similar backgrounds of their Orders and their soldiers' training, the two of them worked well together. In fact, the arrangement suited all four of them, yet Cassandra couldn't help but feel that as her recruit, Cullen had the shorter end of the stick. She blamed herself for that.

She also found herself thinking of him more often than she should. Like now, she chided herself.

With an effort, she pulled herself back into the conversation. "Please, Cassandra," Josephine was saying soothingly. "Our supporter has a good heart and believes in our cause. They would not want this matter to come between us."

She was right, of course, but it didn't make the sting any easier to bear. "In that case, will you deliver this to them?" She laid a letter on the desk. The envelope was blank, with no address.

Josephine frowned slightly. "A personal appeal? If I may ask, why are you so curious to learn our supporter's identity?"

Cassandra sighed. "There is a story about Andraste that she would watch the people who came forward to put money in the collection boxes for the cause. There were many rich nobles who gave great sums, but on one occasion she noticed a poor widow putting in two small copper coins. It's recorded that Andraste said, 'Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.' You've heard the story, I'm sure. I don't mean to bore you."

"You needn't fear. Your telling of it is quite touching. However, I am still unsure what you mean by it."

"That is what I have been wondering myself. The donor is no farmer or tradesman – they would never have acquired such a large initial sum. Perhaps a merchant of some sort, or a noble – it would be an easy matter for a noble to part with that amount of money… What I am trying to say is, I wish to know exactly what this gift represents."

After a moment's consideration, Josephine replied, "Perhaps our supporter chooses to remain unnamed in order to forestall precisely such judgments. In any case, there are other reasons to remain hidden for a time, even from a Seeker of Truth. Reasons which may not be altogether wrong. For now, is it not enough that the gift is given?"

"No, it is not," Cassandra said grumpily, "but I am out of other leads."

Josephine tucked the letter into a folder of outgoing mail. "Cheer up, Cassandra. I will see to it that our supporter receives your message." She narrowed her eyes. "Don't try to intercept it somehow. You won't succeed."

"How fortunate that I've had quite enough success for one day," Cassandra said dryly, rising to take her leave.

It wasn't right to have made Josephine the target of her feelings – anger, frustration, and most of all, disappointment. In her mind she'd known that her simple request wouldn't convince their supporter to come forward, but in her heart she'd still believed it was possible. That's what comes of foolish yearning, she rebuked herself, as she headed for the steps down into the village.

At least Josephine had agreed to deliver her letter. She'd spent hours composing it, believing it her last chance to make her case.

Perhaps our mysterious supporter will write back, she thought.

But if she was honest with herself, even she didn't believe that.


Cullen straightened when he saw Cassandra descending the steps of their headquarters, her shoulders tense and her mouth set in a thin line. The mere sight of her shouldn't have been able to set his heart racing, not least when she was obviously infuriated about something, and Maker help whatever that was about. But it seemed that the longer he spent around her, the more he couldn't help noticing how beautiful she was.

He waved to her, hoping he didn't have a giddy smile on his face.

"Commander," she said crisply. "Is there something you need?"

"Only to say hello to you," he said, smiling at her seriousness. "You seem a little affronted. Is something on your mind?"

She made a disgusted noise. "I have been talking with Josephine, that's all. I never have any patience for diplomatic stratagems." She scowled. "Why are you loitering around outside?"

"I was just…" Hoping to catch sight of you, if you want to know the truth. "On my way to see Josephine myself," he finished, unable to think of any other excuse.

"About what?"

"Nothing in particular," he stammered. Flustered, he rubbed the back of his neck, a dreadful reflex. His siblings had always teased him for being the worst liar they knew. "I just like to ask her how her work is going, now and then."

He didn't expect to see Cassandra look as surprised as he felt. "I see," she said strangely, after a moment. "Pardon me for keeping you. Good evening, Cullen." Dropping her gaze, she hurried off.

Cullen was baffled. It had been a poor lie, even for him, and he couldn't make any sense of her reaction. Thinking it would be even worse if she saw him going elsewhere, he climbed the steps of their headquarters and knocked on Josephine's door. "Come in," she called, and he entered hesitantly, still trying to come up with a pretense for being there.

Josephine was seated at her desk, making notes in a small red book. "Cullen?" she said, raising her eyebrows. "This is an uncanny coincidence."

"Oh?" he asked, furrowing his brow.

"Did Cassandra send you?"

"No," he said, even more confused. "I did pass her on the way here. She seemed rather out of temper."

Josephine smiled. "That was because she's been pestering me to reveal the identity of our anonymous supporter. She's taken quite an interest in it."

"She has?" With a conscious effort to keep his voice calm, he said, "I should have known that nothing escapes her notice."

"Rest assured, your secret is safe. Cassandra has no idea that you entrusted us with most of your life savings. Not to mention that a good portion of your current salary is going straight back into our coffers." Josephine chuckled. "She left here fuming. A mystery like this is exactly the kind of thing that infuriates her most."

Cullen smiled ruefully. "And here I was trying to do some good for once."

"On the contrary, you've accomplished a great deal." She paused. "Certainly you've managed to attract Cassandra's attention."

A sudden flush rose from his collar right up to the tips of his ears. It was possible that he was just imagining it, but Josephine seemed to be scrutinizing him even more closely than usual – which wouldn't be unwarranted if his face was bright red.

"She wrote you a letter," Josephine continued, slipping a plain unmarked envelope out from a folder.

He willed himself to appear unflustered as he accepted the letter from Josephine. Turning the envelope over, he saw that the seal had been broken. "You read it," he said with surprise. And you wanted to be sure I knew, he thought, knowing full well that she could have resealed the letter undetectably. Why signal that you're watching this so closely?

"I read every letter. Each more thrilling than the last," Josephine said primly.

He pressed the flap of the envelope down so that the seal, though unrestored, at least gave the appearance of being whole. "Thank you, Josephine. I appreciate everything you've done."

She waved a hand. "There is no need to thank me, Cullen. Enjoy the rest of your evening."

He walked back to his quarters with the letter safely tucked inside his jacket. It bothered him that Josephine had read it before he had. No doubt Leliana would be appraised of its contents as well. But he didn't have any right to complain – Josephine was only doing her job. Besides, there was no reason to suspect Cassandra's letter would be anything but formal and professional. And probably, he thought with a chuckle, more than a little blunt. Which was exactly how she must appear to most people. But in the months that he'd been watching her, he'd come to know how much more than was to her than first met the eye.

Alone in his room, he lit a lamp and settled into bed before unfolding Cassandra's letter. It was longer than he'd expected – and more moving by far.

Dear Ser,

If you are reading this, then Ambassador Josephine has made good on her promise to deliver my message to you. You should know that she has also kept her word to conceal your identity. I confess that it irks me not to know your name, whether you are a man or a woman, human, elf, dwarf, or qunari. The Chant bids us walk in the light as the Maker is in the light, in order that we may have fellowship with one another. As such, I have always felt it is better to declare open alliances than to claim support from the shadows.

Yet you are surely a true friend of the Inquisition, for your generosity proves your loyalty. Your loyal deceit, then, no doubt proceeds from reasons of your own. It is beyond my capacity to fathom what they may be, and I suppose it is pointless to ask. In any case, that is not the purpose of this letter.

I write to you because I wish to inform you that your contributions truly are advancing our cause. I set off soon for Kirkwall to investigate a lead, a certain individual who was one of the Champion's closest companions. In sharing this small update of our activities, I ask for your discretion in turn, but I have hope that our efforts will bring us closer to finding Hawke, and with her, peace for our divided land.

Most importantly, I write to thank you for your faith in us. You have renewed my own, and in doing so you have given me far more than my thanks could ever repay. In truth, I would much rather thank you properly, personally. It is not often that I find someone who shares the ideals closest to my heart. I do not know what you would make of my boldness, but I pray that the Maker might bring us together someday.

Yours in unity,

Cassandra Pentaghast

Reading the letter, Cullen felt an ache in his chest. He'd told her he wanted nothing to do with his old life, from his first posting at the Circle of Mages to the insanity that had broken loose in Kirkwall. It had seemed fitting to invest what he'd gained from those years in this new phase. He didn't regret giving the money away – quite the opposite, in fact – but now he wondered if there might have been a different way of going about it.

You chose anonymity to protect the Inquisition, he thought. He hadn't wanted the organization to become associated with the events at Kirkwall and the remnants of his old order. And you did it to prove to yourself that you believed in the cause.

And in her. Chiefly because he believed in her. She'd been a light amidst the darkness and chaos, with her offer of a fresh start. From the moment he'd laid eyes on her, he'd seen the chance to redeem himself, to become someone he could respect again. Someone worthy of her faith.

He carefully folded her letter and slipped it back into its envelope with a heavy heart. It would be duplicitous to write back, even without revealing who he was. If he gave her any more to go on, she would only redouble her pursuit of a person who didn't exist. Which would give her even less cause to notice him here, Cullen thought gloomily, as he tucked her letter for safekeeping.

With a sigh, he blew out the lamp and climbed into bed. But he lay awake thinking of Cassandra for a long time after.


A/N: Cassandra's parable borrows from Luke 21:1-4, "The Widow's Offering." In her letter, she alludes to 1 John 5:7. "Loyal deceit" comes from "The Hound of Heaven" by Francis Thompson.

Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear what you think!