A/N: This is my first One Tree Hill fanfic. I have always loved OTH and especially the friendship that Brooke and Peyton have. The idea for this fic has been running around for days in my head, but the words never seemed to form until today. I have never written in first person, but I like the form this story took from Brooke's POV. I hope you enjoy and I would love to hear whatever it is you would like to tell me about it.
A/N 2: The Italics are the flashback
A/N 3: Punctuation and I didn't really get along. The good thing is you don't need it for this type of story, it actually adds to the affect. The end of a line complete a thought, sometimes its the end of a sentence, sometimes not
It Will Always Be There
Moments define our life
Flashback
As I leave the gym, duffle bag and pom poms in hand, I notice I am not the only one still here at such an ungodly hour on a Tuesday night
I choose to ignore her, like I have been for the past 10 days, as I make my way towards the parking lot
"Brooke are we seriously going to keep doing this?" she calls after my retreating form
"Yeah Peyton we are," I shoot back not even turning to look at her as I make my way to my car
"So that's it, after everything?" It's a question, one asked with no sense of deflation or defeat
"You mean after years of thinking our friendship was something more than it actually was"
It doesn't surprise me how fast I feel my anger rise
"You know as well as I do, that no matter what it, our friendship, will always be there," she says soft but firmly
I look up from where I was searching in my bag for my keys to truly look at my ex-best friend for the first time since I left her standing, clutching her cheek from where my hand left its mark
She looks almost hopeful, as though this time will be different than the thousands of other times she has asked my forgiveness
A weighted sigh escapes me, as I shake my head
"No, Peyton it won't," I breathe out bowing my head in surrender to the idea I could forgive her this time
I hear her take in a breath, and look up again
The hope that had been there only seconds before is gone, replaced suddenly with harsh realization
It surprises me even a little
Its not as though we haven't had this conversation several times in the last few days, but for some reason this one is different
She realizes it and so do I
We stand there awkwardly for a moment, each unable to move from where our feet seem rooted through the pavement
The silence unnerves me a little
Our friendship was always based on the aspects of sound…
The constant music that normally surrounded the blonde in front of me
The way we could talk for hours veiled in the darkness of one of our bedrooms
Even the venomous words we shot back and forth as of late
The silence is oddly appropriate I decide
As if the world around us has taken notice of the end of it all
"Goodbye Brooke," her voice breaks through the barrier
The anger that had risen so quickly is now gone, as I gaze at the girl I had always considered a sister
I nod my head slightly as my hands finally clasp around the keys in the pocket of my bag
"Goodbye Peyton"
Although she has already turned away, she turns back to nod once
Finalizing it all somehow
I listen to her footsteps disappearing away
As I turn the key in the door, I hear it…
The small click in the once again noiseless night
My lungs rush to take in air
"Drop the bag and the keys on the ground" the voice growls
I do as I am told, my brain now registering what the click had been
"Turn around"
Hesitating for a second, I turn to stare directly down the barrel of the gun I knew would be there
The figure is clouded by the shadows, the hood of a dark sweatshirt hiding his face
"Please" I whisper unafraid to beg
His laughs sends chills down my spine as his other hand reaches to draws a caressing touch down the side of my face
His lips stroke against my ear as he whispers, "Begging won't save you"
I don't even notice the tears that slip silently down my face
He grabs my wrist in an effort to pull me closer to him
I fight against it, and before I know it I can feel the cool metal against the skin under my chin
"Don't make this harder than it has to be"
His face is close to mine, his features still looming behind the darkness, but his eyes dart out to meet mine
Their color reminds me of the sky just before lightning of the thunderstorm streaks across the deep grey clouds
My legs are moving before I can realize it
His body pulling mine deeper into the darkness of the deserted parking lot
"Take me"
His body jerks to a stop forcing mine to do this same
"Take me" the voice speaks stronger this time
I know that voice
He whips us both around, growling at the unwelcome intrusion
She steps closer, emerging from her own darkness
He doesn't move at first, the gun pressed firmly against my ribcage
She takes another step towards us
"Take me"
Although I can't see his face, I can tell he is contemplating her words
I take my moment, my eyes rising to meet emerald green
Words fly through my head….
Cries for help,
Angered statements of retribution
Pleading murmurs for this all to be a dream
But the words cannot seem to find the path to my lips, and I can only stare at the emerald eyes that can penetrate me down to the very depths of my soul
And in that moment I realize, she was right…
'It will always be there…'
She knows me in ways no other person can
And I her
The moment is broken as I feel his hand release its hold on my arm, and the pavement is rushing to meet me
My wrist cracks as I try desperately to keep from crashing into the unforgiving surface face first
I don't even have a chance to cry out in pain, before I feel an arm around my waist lifting me from where I am hunched
My instincts tell me to fight, fearing it is him
but something holds me back
The touch is familiar
She pulls me up, her body facing mine
Our eyes lock once again
I am searching for something in them
Fear
Even the slightest indication she has a plan maybe
But instead I find something I thought I had extinguished moments before
Hope
A small smile plays across her lips
The smile I have seen a million times
Every single time taking it for granted
Before I know what is happening, she has crossed the short distance that separated us from him
He begins to pull her into the darkness that was meant for me
I can't move
Suddenly, her body jerks from his slightly, and she turns back to me
"It will always be there Brooke," her voice is calm, and that same small smile reappears for the last time as she disappears completely into the night
I am left to the silence
The days surrounding that night remain a blur in my mind
Hours of questioning
Constant whispers as I pass,
The never ending looks of pity
They do little to phase me
Even the words of those closest to me….
Closest to her
Cannot penetrate the fog that consumes
It is true that the moments in our life define who we are
They have defined mine
There are moments when I see her
Sometimes she is the young surly, blonde I remember from my youth
Others she is the tortured artist lost deep within her drawings
But mostly, she is the beautiful person I once deemed myself worthy enough to call my best friend
No matter how I see her though, I find that small smile once again playing across her lips just before she disappears
At one time or another, they have all said it was time to let her go
To forgive myself
The don't understand
How can they
They know nothing of how it feels for one single moment to define your entire life…
Time seemingly allowed their pain to fade
While only amplifying mine more with each passing day
They gave up long ago
Begging me to join them in their resolve she wasn't coming back
Their weary nods, the only reply when I told them I would never stop searching
Searching for her
For what would always be there
That searching has led me here…
Knock, knock
"Hello, can I help you," the women on the old side of the door asks almost happily
Her smiles falters slightly at my appearance
I can't blame her, I am not the Brooke Davis, I once knew
"Excuse me miss, was there something you needed," she asks when the silence becomes too much
My conscious fights the ever raging battle no to shatter into the million pieces it truly is finds itself in
"Yes, I'm looking for my friend," I say softly, having said it many times before
"She's been missing a long time," the women states absentmindedly staring at the flyer I extend to her
7 years
4 months
2 days
12 hours
17 minutes
33 seconds
I want to say, but don't…
"Yes, Ma'am, I know"
She seems to be taking it all in
"Tree Hill's quite a ways from here," she says
It's what everyone had said, and it was true, but I had searched every where else
"Yes, I know," I reply
She gives me that look, the one that says, "You are crazy for believing you will find her"
Everyone had given it to me
"I'm sorry I haven't seen her," she states softly
All I can do is nod my head
It wasn't that I wasn't hoping for a miracle
I had just come not to expect one
Accepting long ago that one day I would be worthy of my miracle
"Thank you," I whisper turning to leave
"Do you really think you will find her?" the women's voice doesn't betray any feelings of disbelief that I am actually still looking
No, it's simply a question of if I believe my friend is really out there somewhere
My head falls to look at the cobblestones of her walkway
When I look up again, the look in her eyes shows her understanding
"I have to," I say
She nods
I turn again to leave, but she calls out once more
"For what it's worth, she is lucky to have a friend like you"
A tear makes its way down my cheek
I don't turn back to face her
"No Ma'am, I am the lucky one"
Walking slowly down the sidewalk, I reach into my bag and pull out another flyer
Emerald eyes once again take hold of mine,
Her ever-present smile eliciting one from my own lips
Taking the stairs that lead to another door, I can hear her voice as clearly as if it was that night again…
"It will always be there"
My smile grows as I run a finger down her picture and whisper
"Always"
