Sexualopoly.

A/N: *Avoids all stares* Hello... Aha... Intriguing name, is it not? Sexualopoly... Well, I was watching 'Everybody loves Raymond' with my Mum the other night when I got this idea... Quite loosely based on this one episode but when I saw it...

/BOOM/

IT MUST BE SASUSAKUFIED

So! This takes place in the future, you'll see, hehe, you'll see... Enjoy!

Ahh, First Naruto Fic. Yeah, great way to start! That's how much the fandom inspires me! Oh, If OOC, Gomen-na-sa-i~


I do not own Naruto! I would be Kishimoto-Sensei if so! And if I was my ships... Hehe... My ships would sail above all else's!


'The Game'

AKA: Sexualopoly

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Cyndy-Kawaii-chan

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"What..." Sakura said as she stared at the glossy Blue, pink and purple box in front of her, which contained the male and female symbols linked together, and a big bold title saying 'SEXUALOPOLY'

'~let's play~'

'Icha-Icha Inc.'

...

What.

Sakura peeled her eyes of the box to look at her husband's face, looking for an explanation. "Sasuke, what is this...?" She mumbled with a raised brow, a blush slowly progressing towards her face. Sasuke avoided her eyes. Thinking himself the same thing.

And why the hell had he brought it in the first place.

"Aa..." Sasuke said as his onyx eyes darting on top of her head, a small embarrassed blush started creeping his own ears. Sakura's lips open to talk before she was quickly interrupted by Sasuke, knowing what she was going to say.

What could he say, 15 years of being married to her, and knowing her for more than 25 years, he knew exactly what she was going to say and he didn't want to hear it.

"Dobe made me buy it." He mumbled, his ears red with embarrassment, it was true that Naruto had somehow convinced Him to get a game for the bedroom- as weird as it sounded, he wanted to get Sakura a nice, useful gift...

And so; Naruto helped... And so He told Her.

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A couple days earlier

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"Dobe." Sasuke said, while averting his eyes as he entered the 6th Hokage's office, where Naruto was currently reading a paper boringly while he ate his raven slowly, as if to pass the time, despite the stack full of papers he had in the same desk he was on.

"Huh?" Naruto slowly said as he lifted his head from the papers and grinned brilliantly at the sight of who it was. "Teme, hey!" Naruto said excitedly as he stood up from his desk and attempted to walk out of his desk before 4 words he never knew Sasuke would ever dare say, grudgingly escaped Sasuke's mouth before he huffed and looked away. Naruto froze from shock.

"I need your Help."

This made Naruto grin like never before.

Sasuke-Teme needed his help?! His best friend in thick and thin needed his help!? Sasuke needed help from the Hokage?! It was a world first! It was-

"Dobe, stop grinning and whispering to yourself like that, yes, I need your help, stop celebrating, I can hear you clearly." "Dumbass."

"Suuuuure! Sure I'll help you! That's what friends are for 'ttebayo!" Naruto fist pumped. "Whatcha need?" he asked.

"...Sakura." Sasuke sighed.

"Huh?" Naruto replied. Sakura-Chan? His old team mate, best Friend, and some weird stuffed up Replacement-mom.

"I want to get something for Sakura..." Sasuke said quietly. "I think she's mad at me..." He confessed with a really confused expression. 'Maybe because I'm losing my skills? It's because the Kids, they are always in our bed and we never do anything.' "We haven't done it in half a month." He said, looking at Naruto, His face stoic and blank as ever but his eyes said otherwise.

S.O.S

"..."

"..."

"...What?" Naruto nearly choked on air.

"You heard me, it was embarrassing enough to say it the first time, like hell I'm repeating what I said." Sasuke muttered.

"...So you need Help, from me, Naruto 'the great one' Uzumaki, to help you find a gift so you can consolidate with your wife as you haven't been laid in a half a month?" Naruto said incredulously, half expecting a 'Naaaaah I was just Joking!' just that Sasuke would never say that.

"..."

"..."

"...Hn." Sasuke nodded, his onyx eyes looking shamefully to the ground.

It was all quiet before Naruto cracked up.

"AHAHAHAHA! WHAT THE FUCK!?" Naruto laughed hysterically at his Raven best friend. "ARE YOU FOR REAL?!" He laughed so hard that tears started to form; he swore he'd die of oxygen lack and that'd be a pretty shitty way of dying.

"...I'm leaving." Sasuke said before turning his heel and leaving, ever regretting even thinking of asking for help. To Naruto, no other.

He should of Asked Neji, or Shikamaru, Heck, even Kakashi he would have asked!

What the hell was wrong with him?!

"Ahaha..." Naruto calmed down finally before looking towards the spot Sasuke was recently just standing. "Wait! SASUKE!" he ran outside his door, loudly, bringing Sasuke's as well as his Secretary and fellow ANBU and Shinobi's attention.

"If you're going to continue spraying in my face I might as well go." Sasuke spat.

"I'll help you! I know what exactly will help you! I saw it-" Naruto said running towards Sasuke and whispering to his ear "-in Icha-Icha Monthly!" Naruto whispered like it was taboo. Acting like a child who had ate the last cookie without telling, despite being 36.

"...You read that shit?" Sasuke said unimpressed.

"Huh..." Naruto scratched his back sheepishly. "When I can, I don't want my Sweet Hinata-Chan to think I'm some weird pervert." He said to Sasuke once they were back in his office.

"...You are." Sasuke said bluntly.

"Not as much as..." Naruto was going to argue before he found what he was looking for in the middle of old boxes full of junk in his office. "AHA! Found it'ttebayo!" He cried in victory when he found last month's copy of Icha-Icha Monthly.

/Brother to Icha-Icha Paradise, Copyrighted under License of Icha-Icha Inc. /

Naruto flipped through of the... Adult magazine... Until he found the ad that he was looking for and sticking it to Sasuke's nose. "Hn." He muttered before looking at the ad, his mouth slightly gaping at shock- of what the Dobe was recommending him. "...Sexualopoly... What?"

"It's supposed to be a game where couples start playing for fun and end up in bed, or so they say" Naruto said as he closed his eyes and recalled the tale wisely. "We dun 'have it here for some reason, the closest store would be in Sound. If we go tonight or tomorrow, I'm pretty sure we can be back by tomorrow or the next night and by tomorrow night or the next night, mind ya, everything will be peaches and cream for you." Naruto said opening his eyes to find a surprised Uchiha. "hehe." he giggled evilly.

"Are you serious?" He muttered, looking at Naruto.

"I'm very serious" his eyes sky blue glimmered in undefined shine. "I'll even go with you, it'd be fun! Just like the old times! (When we were in Team 7 and you weren't screwing Saku-)" He said before a sigh was heard and the Uchiha spoke again.

"Fine." He said.

Sasuke Uchiha had agreed.

To his help.

"I'll organize it right away." Naruto grinned his signature goofy grin before looking at his long cold Ramen and forming an Idea. "Care for some Ramen?"

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"...Oh." Sakura whispered as she thought to herself. 'So that's the reason he went on a mission so suddenly yesterday...just for...' she couldn't help but chuckle inwardly.

"I'll kill him, the dumbass." Surely, he would, the humiliation he was bearing that moment surely deserved a live or two.

Oh, He had the opportunity, many years ago to kill him, but he somehow couldn't; and now he still couldn't because the Dobe had somehow have ended as Hokage.

And plus, he had to go back to Sound Village just to go get a pathetic little game, which he immediately regretted as he didn't have the fondest of memories in there (Orochimaru) and most women threw themselves at him and Naruto as a vast percentage of women in Sound were involved in Prostitution.

They finally latched off him when he showed his Wedding ring in their faces and threatened them that he'd rip their pretty (-gags-) little faces if they'd touch him again.

Life was unfair.

His murderous intents were interrupted by soft chuckles that somehow always melted his heart (in a sense) but that changed when that turned into giggles and eventually evolved into full pledged mocking laughter.

Sakura was having the time of her life- not to mention, Sasuke tried doing something sweet to her, from what she just heard Sasuke tell her (Which was not all) in his own way. But this? Her laughter started dying down and she looked towards her now scowling husband, who, by experience, did not like to be made fun of.

"Why the hell are you laughing." he muttered bitterly at his wife.

"Oh... It's nothing..." She smiled warmly at him, before reaching towards his arm and pulling her husband down to kiss his cheek sweetly, thanking him silently for the gesture, making Sasuke's eyebrow rise slightly before he gave a small grin in return.

She then let him go and turned to the NSFW game that was currently in the island of the kitchen. She grinned, before saying "We better get rid of this before one of the kids find it, or-" before she was interrupted by a loud yell, rapidly increasing in volume as it approached the house.

That It was Naruto.

"Ita-kun! Reiko-Chan! Sousuke-kun!" Naruto said as he ran closer to the Uchiha estate, to one of the side Houses rather than the main one, where the Current Uchiha Family resided. "It's your Naruto-jii-chan!" He grinned as he ran and stopped in front of the mini-mansion, waiting to hear a little stampede approaching him soon enough.

Sakura panicked, Even though Naruto knew about this... Board game, she didn't want her kids, her 3 beautiful kids she shared with Sasuke, the eldest being 12 and the youngest being 3 and a half, seeing this type of game, in possession of their ever so loving parents.

Plus, the youngest was quite the chatterbox, who knew who would know their parents had a 'naughty game'!

Her status would turn to a pervert!

She wasn't ready to have such things released in public!

Sasuke sighed, seeing his pinkette wife panic long enough, he took the game out of her hands and put it behind his back, and leaned against the nearest wall, seeing that his eldest son had come down, following by his only daughter and youngest son, both the youngest who had already run out the door to meet their uncle Naruto. Completely ignoring their Parents.

"Otou-san?" Itachi Uchiha (II), 12, the eldest son of the Sasuke and Sakura Uchiha asked intently, staring at his faltering mother and ever-so-stoic Father for some reason staying glued to the wall like a fly. "Okaa-chan?" he turned his eyes from his father to his mother, his dark eyes raising suspicion between his two parents. "What's going on?" he asked after scanning the mood.

"Ita-kun...!" Sakura smiled internally cringing as to how much Itachi, her firstborn, and his father looked alike, sense the mood alike... yet. "Nothing at all..." Sakura said walking towards him and giving him a hug which he shortly gave back hesitantly.

He would so; give it back if his father wasn't here, to be honest.

That was the difference between father and son; Itachi (II) was a Mommas boy and also was a very talented, yet conserved guy with many friends and admirers.

Just like his father. Yet, not.

Like both.

Itachi, as you might have guessed, named after Sasuke's loving... Slightly different... Elder Brother stepped away from his mother's embrace and looked towards his father awaiting a second opinion.

"Hn." Sasuke nodded, not moving from his spot at the wall.

"Okay..." Itachi nodded back before adjusting his bag full of stuff necessary for this night and tomorrow at the academy; alongside the stuff his younger brother will need fir the night. "See you tomorrow, Okaa-chan, Otou-san!" Itachi smiled, his obsidian eyes warming up before waving at his parents lovingly and sprinting out the door, leaving a very confused Sakura and Sasuke.

"Wait!" Sakura said sprinting off from her spot in the kitchen, to catch up with her children who were now hugging Naruto, and not only bringing their attention, but Naruto's as well. "Where are three you going?" Sakura asked while frowning in unbeknownst confusion.

"To Naruto-jii-chans house!" Reiko, 8, the only female apart from Sakura, her beautiful daughter (who sadly hadn't inherited her mother's bubblegum hair), smiled, her jade eyes shining with glee before she skipped towards the gates of the Uchiha Property, her silky black hair jumping alongside her, while she held her little brothers hand, Sousuke, 3 1/2, her baby, midnight hair, and large midnight eyes, whilst he clutched his toy snake, (as weird as that was, it was his favorite toy) and bounced happily alongside his big sister, paying no mind to his mommy, making Sakura sadden a little on the inside.

She frowned.

"Naruto..." Sakura growled lowly, bringing the blonde Hokage's attention once again, but this time, with fear on his face. "Come here..."

Naruto smiled sheepishly in his tan features as he approached the back door where Sakura was glaring at him. "A-ahaha, Sakura-Chan! Ah..." He hesitated, before remembering there were kids he was now taking care of. "Kids! Wait at the gate for me, I'll be right back'ttebayo!" he cried before grinning as he ran rapidly toward his death.

Not literally, he hoped.

"Sakura-Chan... I can explain!" Naruto shrieked as he entered the house, finding a pissed pinkette and a raven head quietly reading the instructions to the game. Naruto grinned slyly. "Oi Teme, did you give it to her yet?"

"That is also something I want to talk about with you, Naruto-kun" Sakura smiled sweetly. Too sweetly.

Naruto winced at her tone. Damn. She was fuming

"Ah... What first?" Naruto sighed in defeat before grabbing a chair from the dinner table and sitting down on it. His sky blue eyes looked up nervously.

B-but of course he wasn't nervous! He wasn't scared of the strongest Kunoichi/sennin who had trained under the former Hokage and had inherited her monster-like strength. He was the Hokage now ('ttebayo)!

"Everything Naruto, what the hell, you idiot!?" Sakura shrieked as she latched herself towards the blonde who somehow was too slow to move from the chair he was sitting on to avoid her punch in the arm.

Okay, okay, he lied.

Naruto rubbed it painfully before chuckling nervously. "Well... About the game..." Naruto sighed before trying to put on his most professional-like facade, to explain a little more of the story.

He grinned at Sasuke who was already glaring at the Blonde idiot. "Well, Sasuke wanted to find you a unique gift, as you apparently weren't being yourself lately... and taking into account he is rich and you probably have diamonds and gold and that shit... I told him to get something interesting..."

"Wait, what?" Sakura interrupted with a confused look and a weird smirk. "I've been feeling alright." She protested.

"No you haven't." Sasuke spoke, after not speaking for a while; he turned his head and looked at the pinkette who was looking at him back.

"What makes you say that?" Sakura raised an eyebrow. Sasuke gulped quietly, looking away, suddenly remembering that they had an extra annoying guest; who was the one who got him in this mess in the first place.

And talking about the subject wasn't necessarily easy even if your best friend knows about it vaguely.

"Well... You didn't..." Sasuke said bringing a hand behind his head and scratching it hesitantly, his onyx eyes avoiding her curious jade ones. "You know..." "Accept my initiative..."

There, he said it.

Bye bye to the rule: What is done in the bedroom, Stays in the bedroom.

Naruto started laughing uncontrollably; The Dobe had finally admitted it! -and it was damn hilarious! Naruto would have continued laughing if he hadn't heard Sasuke's Knuckles crack knowingly. He then shut up immediately.

"Oh." Sakura said dumbly, a blush now covering her face, making her resemble a strawberry. Yet she still remained confused as to why, had they bought such a game as this...

"...And so" Naruto continued, sighing after his continued giggling of the situation, bringing Sakura's attention back to him. "Teme here was afraid he was losing his touch so he came crying for my help to fix his miserable sex life- and so I recommended this Game and gave him a lil something Ero-sennin had left me to his legacy." An Icha-Icha Product Coupon. Naruto grinned as he Remembered his old Sensei, and founder of Icha-Icha Inc., who must be chilling in heaven watching angels with some pair of binoculars or something. He chuckled softly before bringing his attention back to the blushing duo and added "-Although I have never played it, I'd never play something so Kinky." He said with a smirk.

And it's not like he could, anyways, Hinata would probably die of embarrassment before playing more than 2 rounds.

Sasuke growled lowly. "I did not fucking cry, Dobe." He spat at the dumbass blonde, who he was nowhere near happy with right now. Sasuke then closed his eyes before opening then right again knowing for the perfect comeback. "And at least I get it more than you-"

Before he was rudely interrupted by his wife.

"OH so that's why?!" she awed in realization, the blush never leaving her face and Sakura started laughing once again hysterically, freaking out Sasuke and Naruto at the process.

Sakura laughed joyfully, she hadn't laughed like this in years!

It all made sense now!

Sakura's laughter lessened into cute giggles before grinning slyly at her now disturbed husband. "Don't worry, Sasuke, you certainly haven't lost your touch." She whispered in his ear, before he even noticed she had moved next to him. Damn. "On the contrary, I found it kind of sexy that you tried to surprise me, even if it wasn't exactly the best time or place." Sakura grinned as she stepped away from Sasuke and started moving side to side sensually. Like a dance.

Naruto sweat dropped. Did she forget that he was still in the room? He tried to speak. "Um...-"

Key word: Tried.

"So why, for the past 2 weeks, have you been refusing to have sex with me?" Sasuke frowned and pouted childishly, as if he was a little boy who hadn't gotten the chocolate in the grocery store his mother promised him. Sakura chuckled and quickly shook her head, her face gleaming of what seemed happiness and deep amusement. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

Now Sasuke was ignoring him! Naruto tried to speak once again. "Guys-"

"It's simple" Sakura chuckled before walking towards the fridge to go get some orange juice and walking back in front of the island and leaned on it. "Itachi had been staying up late studying scrolls for his Chuunin exams. Therefore; he had been staying up late, and if we did 'it', he'd hear it, and I was afraid he'd never want to face us again." Sakura smiled, looking at her husband's blank face and looking into his eyes to see Relief and slight confusion. "Face it, it's true, he's your son, Sasuke-kun." Sakura grinned. Naruto nodded inwardly.

"...But what about last week?" Sasuke argued monotonously in the smooth velvety voice of his. The Chuunin exams where the week before last week on a Sunday. Which, Itachi had passed with flying colors.

What about last week?

"Sasuke, I was tired, I was working all week at the hospital last week if you didn't notice, and I had worked overtime, and so, I didn't have the energy... To do that..." Sakura said shyly.

"oh." was all Sasuke said.

Naruto inwardly grinned.

"Okay, Mystery solved, congratulations Teme, now enjoy your night together, the kids must be waiting and I'm hungry so I'll be heading off." Naruto sighed, done and now hungry of watching this excuse of a Drama, and standing up and walking to the door before Sakura interrupted him by putting her hand on his shoulder.

"Wait, you're taking care of the kids so we can spend the night to ourselves?" Sakura asked with her eyebrows raised in surprise. Naruto turned his head towards her and nodded.

"Yeah, and that Ita-kun had wanted me to show him some of these Jutsu scrolls I have and I thought this'd be a great opportunity so you guys could play the game." Naruto chuckled sheepishly. "Two birds and one stone." He hadn't actually meant to play matchmaker, but the mini Sasuke and Sasukettes where really hard to say no to. Plus a sleepover with his children and the Uchiha's would be great!

"...So you actually intended us to play this game?" Sakura said leaning back towards Sasuke who was now behind her with his arms around her waist.

"Well yeah, Teme and I didn't go to Sound for anything." Naruto said goofily.

"Sound?" Sakura quirked looking up at Sasuke who started whistling innocently.

Sasuke hadn't told her they went to Sound. Because, you know.

It's the Sound Village.

"It does where all the sluts, clubs and sex shops are located remember?" Naruto reminded Sakura. Sakura frowned but then chuckled and nodded. "Oh and talking of sluts, I forgot Karin was from Sound, huh." Naruto laughed aloud, he enjoyed joking about his Cousin, who was disturbingly clingy to Sasuke.

Well, that was until he got hitched.

"Aa."

Now, Karin was what you called, Okay, she worked under Sakura at the Hospital, Sakura being the boss and all, even if she didn't like that. She was still an efficient worker, despite bickering constantly with the rest if the female species.

"Okay, Thanks Naruto, for helping..." Sakura smiled before walking out of Sasuke's embrace to hug Naruto gratefully. "In your own way." She jokingly added making Naruto grin.

"That's what friends are for right? To take care of their friends kids so they can have the night for sex." Naruto once said while he was a step of leaving the Uchiha's home.

"...um, I'm pretty sure the saying doesn't go like that." Sakura said; sweat dropping, again in Sasuke's embrace.

"Hn." Sasuke nodded accordingly. "Thanks, Dobe." He smirked at the Blonde who had frozen at the step of his house. Well, sure, Sasuke Uchiha didn't say Thanks to people often. "We'll not disappoint you, goodbye." Sasuke said, his smirk growing wider as he pushed the door in Naruto's face, locking him out, whilst all at the same time, Sakura's eyes were about to bulge out in surprise all while she blushed like the teenage girl she used to be no longer than 20 years ago.

"Heyyy-" Naruto protested when he got the door to his face before the door opened once again to find a peering Sakura and a Sasuke on the floor rubbing his shoulder in pain. "Huh" Naruto said slowly. Not getting anything at all.

"Hey" Sakura grinned. "Say hi to Hinata and the Kids okay!" Sakura said as she looked outside and saying it was about half an hour to 6pm. She looked at Naruto and then at her kids. "Remember their curfew is 8:30, And Itachi's latest is 10pm, Remember Sousuke doesn't like Celery, and that he likes his milk warm- mhhhph!" Sakura continued in Mother Mode before a hand muffled her mouth and she instantly shut up, and she was pulled inside the house once again, her head to be replaced by a certain raven haired Uchiha.

"She says good night." Sasuke smirked. "Good night." He said before closing the door slowly behind him. Leaving a slightly dazed Naruto.

"Good night..." Naruto sighed to himself, before his stomach grumbled. "Crazy fuckers..." Naruto shook his head before chuckling at his own pun. Leaving the two alone, to whatever was going to happen that night, joining the Kids who were now whining as to why he had taken so long.

"I'm the Hokage! I can take all the time I want!" Was Naruto's reply, bringing a grin to all the children before leaving Uchiha grounds.

Leaving the Adults to what the hell adults did.

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A/N: And bring it with a bang, they say!

Ahhh my first Naruto fanfiction... Heck, my first SASUSAKU FANFICTION. You don't know all the feels I have for this couple! OTP FOREVER! Haven't written in a while.. i may be a bit rusty. *shrugs*

Hm, I was thinking of making another chapter for this, maybe making this a Two-shot. But that'd depend, if you all liked it or not! ((It will probably be a Lime at most... I am not ready for that big-a-step that is Lemons... XD)) ((Not for a long shot as, haha, my mum found the next chapter which I was working on (THANKFULLY IT DIDN'T HAVE MORE THAN 'SEXUALLY' AND STUFF GOTT) And she said how'd I know 'bout stuff like this- She made me so nervous I paled like Sai. NEARLY)) Please tell me so, if you want ^^

Please Review!

Thanks for reading!

((Extra brownie points if you watch Raymond a/o seen the episode I am vaguely referring to)) :3

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Cyndy-Chan.