Master Chief
MasterChief@disc13.com
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In a world gone bad...
Shinji Ikari yawned softly as he entered his room in the Katsuragi apartment, huge bags under his eyes. Today had been a long day of tests, and it was already well into the evening. I just wanna get to sleep... Shinji thought as he slipped onto his bed. He closed his eyes and sighed softly, sleep slowly carrying him away. Just as he began to dream a little dream of him, Asuka, Rei, and chocolate syrup, his cell phone started to ring. His tired eyes slowly opened as he reached over to the nightstand in front of him where his phone sat.
"Damn it..." Shinji cursed to himself as he sat up slowly and hit the receive button on the phone before pressing it to his ear. "Hello?" he said tiredly into the speaker.
"Shinji," Misato's voice replied, "I need you to head back to NERV HQ."
"Huh?" Shinji rubbed his eyes with his free hand as he forced himself to stand up. "Wh...Why...?"
"Listen to me, it's not safe at the apartment." Misato sounded urgent. "I don't know how or why, but someone's coming to kidnap you."
Shinji's ears perked up. "Okay, I'm on my way."
"Good," Misato cooed softly. "I'll be waiting for you halfway. We'll walk together after that."
"Why don't you just pick me up and drive me there?" Shinji asked worriedly, blinking as he did.
"My car's in the garage with a flat," Misato sighed. "I drove over some broken glass."
Surprised it's just that, Shinji thought with a mirthless grin. "OK, I'll start walking."
"See you soon, Shinji." And with that, Shinji heard the click of Misato hanging up the phone.
Ugh, why so late...? Shinji tiredly thought, stifling a yawn as he left his room, silently making his way out of the apartment.
Mech Morphix smiled softly as he watched his creation shut off her cell phone and walk up to him, a dastardly grin on his face. "So," he began, his voice ominous and foreboding, "Did he fall for it?"
"Hook, line and sinker," the FemMech responded. Morphix looked his robotic creation up and down, admiring his own skill. Before him stood an exact replica of Major Misato Katsuragi of NERV, based upon satellite images and reports from his various spies, made to look down to the last hair on her head like the famous Operations Director. He had made hundreds of thousands of these new model FemMechs after his failure in Manhattan, designed to withstand much higher amounts of punishment than the previous models.
And this one would serve an important role – to bring the Third Child, Shinji Ikari, into his possession. My plan is perfect... Morphix thought to himself as he stroked his beard. All I will need after this is Unit One, then I will surely be able to conquer the world. Even the mighty Duke Nukem will be unable to oppose me! He cackled to himself as a sadistic grin formed on his face. Soon enough, his plans would be set into motion...
DUKE NUKEM
Tokyo-3 Project
An Evangelion/Duke Nukem crossover by The Master Chief
Chapter 01: NERV Meltdown.
Misato Katsuragi stood in the middle of the Tokyo-3 airport lobby, holding up a huge sign that read "Duke Nukem," over her head, an angry snarl on her face. Great! Misato thought to herself, the mighty Operations Director of the most important government agency in Japan is reduced to a damned valet! Of course, the whole day had been shaping up to be quite a stinker so far. She still couldn't believe Shinji had been kidnapped. However, she was there when NERV got the message. She could still remember the looming voice and triumphant smirk of the madman calling himself Mech Morphix as he mocked the entire staff of NERV.
Six hours ago...
Misato groaned as she heard the sounds of alarm claxons ringing all around her, slowly lifting her head off her desk. Ow, I must have crashed here... Misato thought to herself as she rubbed her forehead. Shinji's probably worried sick over me... She then stood up and shook her head, looking around as her senses returned to her. Something's wrong. She exited the offices and navigated through the halls of NERV, making her way to Central Dogma. Once there, she walked over to Makoto Hyuuga, who was at his station, with Maya Ibuki and Shigeru Aoba to the left and right of him respectively.
"Report," Misato demanded, looking over his shoulder as she spoke.
"Someone's hacking into the Magi!" Hyuuga shouted back, clearly panicking as he furiously typed on his keyboard.
"We can't trace it!" Maya chimed in, "Whoever's doing this is top-notch!"
"Where's Ritsuko?!" Misato shouted, looking on in strange wonder at all the lines of code appearing on Hyuuga's screen.
"She's in the Magi system trying to block the hacker there," Aoba commented, his eyes narrowing as he typed, gritting his teeth in frustration. "Damn!"
The view screen then flickered, changing from a display of the Magi's status to a picture of a bearded man whose body was covered in strange implants, making him look more robotic than human, his red eyes glowing as he sat there before them in a regal looking oak chair.
"Good day to you all," the strange man said as he smirked, stroking his well-trimmed brown beard with one of his metallic hands. "I am Mech Morphix, the greatest scientific genius to ever grace this earth."
"He's in!" Maya shouted, looking up to see the menacing figure looking at them.
"That I am," he replied, grinning maniacally as he sat there. "I am here to demand that you relinquish to me Evangelion Unit One."
"That is not possible," the voice of Gendo Ikari replied coolly. Misato looked over her shoulder and saw the Commander of NERV sitting in the command chair, hands folded under his chin, with his second-in-command, Kozou Fuyutsuki, standing at his side. "The Evangelions are not subject to discussion."
"Aren't they now....?" Morphix asked mockingly. He looked over to his left and nodded. "Do it," he ordered someone off-screen.
Then, the alarm stopped buzzing and all the lights went off, leaving only the air conditioning and the computers in Central Dogma working.
"What the hell!?" Misato shouted as she looked around her, shocked. She then looked at Hyuuga with a determined gaze. "Get the main power back on."
"Don't bother," Morphix cut in coldly. "I control your precious Magi supercomputer now, and I will decide what goes on and off."
Hyuuga tapped furiously at his keyboard, shaking his head as he cursed under his breath. Finally, he stopped typing and leaned back in his chair, sighing in frustration. "Everything's blocked out!" he declared, his voice shaky.
"No luck here either!" Maya cried. "Nothing's responding!"
Misato looked over at Aoba, who shook his head silently.
"I don't know how," Ritsuko said as she crawled out from inside one of the Magi systems, "but they've all been directly tapped, all three of the Magi. It's like he can work around any barriers we put up."
"Damn..." Misato growled as she clenched her left hand into a fist, shaking angrily.
Gendo looked on with a neutral expression, his eyes narrowing as he stared at Morphix through his shades. "You should know," he announced icily, "that an Evangelion will not function without a pilot."
"I have remedied that," Morphix retorted with a grin. The view screen then flickered again as the image changed. Everyone on the bridge gasped in horror at what they saw; Shinji, in his white shirt and black pants, strapped onto a steel slab, a strange helmet like device covering his eyes and head. Cords ran from the helmet to a large mainframe terminal which displayed several wave patterns on a huge screen.
"Impressive, don't you think?" Morphix's voice asked mockingly. "It was quite easy to kidnap him. He's so trusting after all..." As Morphix spoke, someone walked up to Shinji. The woman wore a red leather jacket and a dark purple cocktail dress that looked a size to small, her lavender hair flowing loosely to the small of her neck and over her shoulders. She looked over her shoulder at the camera and smiled.
"What the hell!?" Misato blinked as she cursed, staring at what looked like a mirror image of herself.
"As you can see, all it took was sending out one of my FemMechs to fetch the boy," Morphix explained. "He's my favorite sort as well; full of self-hatred and loathing for all those around him. He'll be easy to brainwash..." The Misato on screen then looked back at Shinji, one of her hands wandering over to his pants, slowly unzipping it.
"That's a good boy..." She cooed softly to him, her voice as exact a reproduction of the original as her looks. "Just relax, and do whatever you're told... You'll be rewarded nicely..." She leaned over Shinji, her face over his unzipped fly as her hand fished around in his underwear. Just as it looked like she was about to pull something out, the screen flickered back to Morphix, who was smirking triumphantly.
"You have my demands," Morphix repeated. "Evangelion Unit One shall be mine, whether you give it to me or I take it by force."
"You son of a bitch!" Misato screamed, her gaze burning with hateful fire.
"I'm charmed," Morphix replied with a grin. "You have forty-eight hours to make your decision. I'm sure the boy will be complete well before then."
With that, the screen flickered out, showing the Magi status. The lights then went on. The alarm didn't come back on though.
"Everything's..." Maya blinked in shock as she looked at her terminal. "Everything's back to normal."
"He just gave the system back to us?" Ritsuko asked, dumbfounded.
"No doubt he's confident he can take it back," Misato reasoned, shaking her head in frustration.
Gendo stood up from the command chair and looked over his shoulder. "Fuyutsuki," he said coldly, "take the comm."
"Where are you going?" Fuyutsuki asked, shocked.
"To make a call."
Present...
Misato shook her head as she cursed again under her breath, holding that sign like an idiot. She was ordered to pick up an American warrior named Duke Nukem, who had accepted a request - by Commander Ikari himself no less - to help neutralize the situation. What makes this guy so damned special? Misato thought to herself. Not like we ever needed outside help before.
Her thoughts were interrupted as a huge, muscle-bound freak of an American man holding a huge black duffle bag stepped up to her, wearing denim jeans and a red muscle shirt which certainly showed off his considerably muscular build. He looked at her through his dark sunglasses and grinned as he got himself a good view of her slender, busty form. "Hey baby," he said smoothly, "wanna play?"
"Sorry, pal," Misato shot back angrily, already reeling from this pigheaded jackass's macho attitude. "I'm here on official business. I'm waiting for someone and it isn't you."
"Funny," the man replied, still smirking the whole while, "Your sign has my name on it."
Misato froze and dropped the sign, staring in shock at the man before her. This is Duke Nukem!? She shook her head as she offered her hand tentatively. "Misato Katsuragi," she introduced herself, sounding as formal as she could. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Nukem."
Duke took her hand as though he were about to shake it, but instead pulled her over to him, letting her body press against his. "Hm, thought they were implants," he said thoughtfully as he looked down at her.
"Excuse me!?" Misato growled as she pushed herself off Duke's chest, glaring at his blocky face angrily. "I'm not some bar floozy!"
"You're here to take me to NERV Headquarters, aren't you?" Duke asked, acting as though he didn't hear what Misato had just said.
Little bastard, Misato thought. He's even more of a jerk than Kaji. Aloud, she spoke through gritted teeth. "Come on, let's go."
"All right," Duke exclaimed as he walked behind Misato. As the two of them walked, Duke got himself a good look at Misato's shapely behind. "The moon over Manhattan ain't got nuthin' on the one I'm lookin' at right now," he remarked before whistling in admiration.
Misato just gritted her teeth and growled angrily. The ride to HQ was going to be one of the worst in her whole life, and she knew it.
End Chapter 01
Neon Genesis Evangelion © Gainax/TV Tokyo
Duke Nukem © 3D Realms/Apogee Software
Sorry there was no action in this one. I wanted to set up everything before getting into the ass kicking, which is truly the main event for this fan fiction. Hopefully, it'll be worth the wait when I get to that part. Anyway, email me at MasterChief@disc13.com or use the Fanfiction.net review system if you're seeing this from there. Remember, your comments determine whether I continue. I need SOME show that this is appreciated, after all.
