A regular night in Black Order Casino, and a regular night for all of its residents.

Pfft. Ha. Hahahahaha.

"Who let Lavi near the punch?" Lenalee inquired, sipping a martini.

"Who cares. Shitty rabbit's got fucking horrible dance moves, but it's all for the sake of Youtube hits," Kanda grunted in reply, making sure to keep his phone steady as he filmed. "Fuck, shitty lighting."

"It's not a matter of who let Lavi near the punch," Alma chimed in. "It's a matter of who spiked the punch. Have you guys seen Little Bro?"

"Allen? He's over there, getting some...'spiked'...punch…"

"Better get Beansprout Otouto away. He's sipping the fucking drink - you don't want him to get drunk, do you? Remember last time at the bar?"

Alma paled considerably and sprinted over to the petite albino.

Too late, he saw, slowing down and staring depressedly at the drunken blush gracing Allen's face.

"Alma-nii-san!" He wailed, making frantic gestures. "I feel the sudden urge to - to -"

Don't say you need to pee, Alma thought forlornly. That'd make this situation even worse.

"- to play poker!"

Even worse is this scenario, the Asian thought as his adoptive sibling dragged him to the poker tables. Kanda and Lenalee watched from afar, snickering.

"Allen!" Road - the ever-feisty casino vice-maintainer - beamed, "It's you, of course, so there's no need for an entering fee whatsoever!"

A muffled protest from one of the more foolish players was immediately silenced when the famous "Cruel Kamelot" glare was blasted. Full-force.

One of the regular players, Tyki, folded out as soon as he saw that Allen was going to enter.

"Hey, man." One of his friends grumbled. "It's just a kid."

"You don't know the boy," Mikk replied, removing his thick glasses and doing an instant 360 in personality. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to charm some ladies."

"If Uncle Mikk leaves, I will too," Eeze decided, setting his cards down and getting up.

Alma sighed, only slightly relieved. Now there were still five other players left - but of course, the less people experienced the wrath of Poker Allen, the better.

Allen swayed a bit, then landed with a whump on one of the seat cushions. He accepted his cards, and shuffled them clumsily - being intoxicated didn't really do anything good to hand-eye coordination. In Allen Walker's case, however, alcohol was like an energy drink times infinity for his inner demon.

When he started shifting to the beat of the blasting rock music blaring around the building, taking a sideways glance at his redheaded friend doing ridiculous disco poses, the other players grinned, thinking that it would be an easy win - more chips for them!

Half an hour later.

Back at the table the players were passed out, with mussed-hair and baggy eyes. The one still conscious stammered in shocked disbelief, "Wha - what -"

"Alma-nii-san," Allen warbled, unable to walk in a straight line. "Help meee, I can't carry all of these chiiiips by myself."

Alma resolutely helped him lug the blasted stacks over to Kanda.

"Done and uploaded," Kanda was muttering, hunched over the screen of his iPhone. "Hah. Utter humiliation for the rabbit. Thirty minutes of torture for all who watch."

"Your brothers are back," Lenalee noted helpfully.

"Kanda-nii-san!" Allen chirped, giggling. "Looookit!"

"Help me," Alma croaked. "The cheerfulness; it's eating away at me."

"Beansprout Otouto, Bad Luck Otouto. Put those chips in my bag, I'll cash 'em in later." With that said, the ponytailed man returned to staring at the screen. "Should I email it to Johnny, or to Roku-jugo? Nah. Fucking mail it to both."

"There's the boy, hee!" Jasdebi interrupted. Like Allen, he was indeterminably drunk.

"Brat, we're going to do karaoke!" David insisted. Also drunk.

The twins dragged a clueless Allen off.

"A rendition of 'Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows,' captains!" David barked out, stumbling.

"Yessir, hee!"

"Mmn, ma'am!"

"Shut up, brats, and sing!"

Wisely made his way over to Alma, who was flitting around Kanda and Lenalee. "I only put a little bit of vodka in there. How come Allen's drunk?"

"It was German vodka. German vodka's always a bitch." Alma bemoaned. "Plus, Otouto's a lightweight."

"All the tiny, cute ones are," Fou hummed teasingly.

"And where the hell did you come from!?"

The trio - Jasdevi, David, and Allen - switched from the infamous PFUDOR to 'Let It Go.'

"Hell yeah!" Lavi roared from the dance floor. "Get our here, Yu, we're doing some ballroom dancing!"

"Fuck you!" Kanda retorted eloquently, fishing out a pocketknife and storming towards Lavi.

Allen abruptly switched the lyrics "Let it gooo," to "Blood's gon' flooow."

"Not helping, Sprout!" Lavi pleaded, trying to fend off the blade with a hammer he found under a chair.

Even in his intoxicated state, Allen still heard the much-dreaded nickname. A crooked smile adorned his face. He didn't mind his beloved nii-sans calling him that, but that was for them and them only. Unforgivable.

"Do you wanna kill a Bookman? Stab him where the sun don't shiiiiiiiine -" The microphone was clutched in the albino's white-knuckled grip. Jasdevi and David added in some nice harmonics.

"Noooooo!" Bookman Jr. wailed.

The other residents of the casino were wisely beginning to clear out, apart from a few confused newcomers who had no idea what the hell was going on.

Kanda, accompanied by Road - who apparently had decided to leap right into the mess with some sharp candles meant for decor - hollered, "Keep singing, Beansprout Otouto! I'll fucking castrate the rabbit!"

Unbeknownst to the modern samurai, the iPhone had slipped out of his jeans pocket and clattered down near Lenalee. She picked it up and started recording. Kanda's subscribers wouldn't know what hit them.

"Impale him with a pointy stick -"

"Fuck yeah!"

"Ne, Allen's singing voice is so pretty -"

"- or clonk him with a brick -"

"Noooo, no noooo…" Alma sobbed, facing the wall and repeatedly banging his head on it.

"- yeah, this bastard's going dooooown!"

"Encore!" The waiter, Timothy, and the waitress, Miranda, cheered.

They should've gone with 'The Potential Hazards of Vodka' instead of sex ed. back in high school, Alma thought. Then again, nothing ever stops things like this from happening, does it?

Apparently over his grudge with Lavi, Allen changed the lyrics.

"Alma-nii-san's really preeety! And he's really, really cooool -"

Right there and then, Alma decided that maybe Drunk Allen wasn't so bad after all.

And then Kanda got mad about not being the favorite. "Fuck it, bastards! I'm the better example of a perfect, respectable older brother! Dammit, Bad Luck Otouto! Come over here and fight me LIKE A FUCKIN' MAN!"

Oh well, thought Alma, taking the place of Lavi in being pursued by the snarling Kanda. He blushed. Ah, Otouto thinks I'm cool…

A/N: Fin. Random, I guess. Really random. R&R, it's your choice.