SECRETS AND TIES
-OOO-
A/N Will Paddy ever admit to his true feelings?
This story is a reclamation. It is my version of Chapter 3 of "Paddy's got a Secret", by Chips2, a story proposed by myself, that Chips2 was kind enough to write the initial two chapters of.
The character Paddy proved to be a powerful inspiration.
My continuation can be read alone or after Chapters 1 & 2 of Chips2's introduction.
The choice is yours.
I'd also like to dedicate this work to GirlWednesday and thank her for her "beta" duties, while this was a W.I.P. x
Enjoy x.
Just to recap:
Brendan Brady, home alone, opens his door after midnight to find his childhood friend Paddy standing on the door-step; crying, shaking, generally a mess.
His marriage to Brianna is in trouble.
-OOO-
Brendan pondered on what he'd just heard while he re-dressed himself.
He had been surprised to say the least with what Paddy had just told him.
Surprised but not shocked.
Stirred but not shaken.
Paddy may be a childhood friend but Brendan had good reason to take everything he said with a pinch or two of salt.
Tonight however Brendan believed every word that he had stammered and stuttered.
Paddy, the renowned tough guy had crumbled in front of his eyes. His ladies-man persona had been shot to pieces.
He was a broken man.
A broken gay man.
-O-
2 Hours Earlier
"You'd better come in" Brendan had said hesitantly.
Brendan ushered Paddy in, eager to shut the door as he was clad in only a short bath towel.
Paddy embarrassed beyond belief had nodded his head and had entered Brendan's home, without looking up and establishing any eye-contact whatsoever.
He slowly walked towards the sofa and paused, as though he was about to ask permission to take a seat before he did so, plonking his rucksack at his feet, noisily.
"You look like you could do with a drink." Brendan said before spending more time than was strictly necessary, fixing them both a generous drop of their hometown hooch.
Paddy took the glass Brendan offered and gulped down the contents in one go.
"That'll put hairs on ye chest." Brendan joked.
Paddy looked up and gazed at his bare chest.
"So I see" he murmured before lowering his eyes again. His cheeks suddenly felt hot and he was embarrassed as to why.
Brendan cleared his throat and took a seat.
There was silence.
Paddy traced his hand over the arm of the sofa, stroking it affectionately, without thought.
"I like what you've done with the place" he said eventually.
"Did you really come all this way, in the middle of the night, to talk about soft furnishings?" Brendan pointedly asked.
Paddy flushed again and looked down at his shoes.
More silence.
"Look Pads, it's great to see you "n" all, but do you not think I should give Brianna a call to put her mind at rest?" He reached for his phone which was resting on the table between them.
Paddy's response was heated and immediate.
"No" he yelled in fear, jumping up, lunging for the phone and throwing it across the room.
Both men were stunned.
"Whoa big man, easy eh. I'll take that as a no then shall I?"
"I'm sorry Brendan I.." Paddy crossed the room and knelt to pick up the pieces of the now fractured phone.
"I'll fix it, I will, I just can't fix me." With that he broke down again. Huge hulking sobs wracked his body.
His shoulders shook for Ireland.
-O-
Brendan watched. He felt awkward.
He was used to Ste crying, although he did a lot less of that these days, but this, this unnerved him slightly. He felt as if he was witnessing a breakdown.
He knew a gesture was required.
He crouched down and placed a hand on a still shaking shoulder.
"Gerroff." Paddy growled "I don't need y your p pity. I I I don't deserve it." He stammered, his tears and emotions obscuring his speech.
"I've really f f fucked up this th this time Bren. I mean really."
Brendan grabbed hold of both of Paddy's shoulders, helped him to his feet and guided him in a stumbling fashion, back to the sofa. He poured him a much larger second drink, sat himself down and waited.
Paddy looked a mess. Tears and snot co-mingled on his face. His eyes were as red as traffic lights, flashing out their warning to stay away and yet he was here.
Why?
Paddy sipped at his second helping of hospitality.
"So why are you here Paddy?"
It was only on his third attempt to speak, that Brendan could make out his words.
"My marriage. It didn't work out."
Brendan raised his eyebrows, nonplussed.
"Did it not- why's that then?" He said evenly.
"I'm not queer."
"Never said you was."
"Only it's just my laptop."
"What about it?"
"It betrayed me, but what's wrong with looking huh? Looking, it's nothing.
It's not actually... It's not touching. I'd never do that." He hiccupped.
"That's disgusting."
Brendan winced.
Paddy looked up fleetingly and pulled a face.
"Sorry - I didn't mean."
"S'alright mate, you're in shock. So this laptop...?"
"I love my wife." Paddy interrupted.
"I'm a good husband, was a good husband." He faltered.
"Only my eyes look...elsewhere."
"Who are ye looking at?"
Fresh tears coursed down Paddy's face.
"Men" he whispered.
Tears splashed down into his drink and watered down its contents.
-O-
Brendan had thought as much. He dimly remembered a brief adolescent kiss Paddy had tried to land on him years previously. The wild un-coordinated manner in which it was conducted, betrayed the now-or-never desperation behind it. A would be attempt from a man who'd never kissed what had truly satisfied him before.
"Fill us in mate. What's been happening?" Brendan coaxed.
-O-
So he did.
For the first time in his life, Paddy bared his soul.
He revealed how he had always liked men, ever since he was at school; he had preferred their company, their physicality. He had been a keen sportsman. The changing room had held as much excitement as the pitch.
He had carried this preference over to his gym days, working out his muscles and his imagination four to five times a week. Although in later years, he had had to rein himself in somewhat, as his "covert" staring at his sauna companions had led to a couple of sticky situations.
He knew he was a man to be reckoned with, arrogant, vainglorious, quick-tempered and a huge hit with the ladies.
Fired up after a work-out, he would hit the town and pick up anyone he should've wanted.
Sometimes he could go through two a night, best-friends usually. A blow-job with one and the real deal with the other.
Everyone was happy-apparently.
Once he'd had the good fortune to find a stash of gay porn mags hidden down the back of a broken seat at the station. This had kept him off the streets for quite some time.
No need to prowl.
-O-
He also told of how his lifestyle had started to pall.
There were times he would go through the motions of picking up a woman, only to drop her half-an-hour later when his mates had moved on to another watering–hole, thinking he was set for the night.
Paddy knew he needed a new game plan and he found it in Brianna.
Brave Brianna as she was known in his circle.
(Brendan could guess why).
She had been Pete's girl when he had had his life-changing accident that had left him wheel-chair bound.
Brendan shifted uncomfortably at this.
Brianna had been a saint, putting up with Pete's mood swings and tirades, until he had dumped her callously. Had frozen her out.
Everyone had felt protective over her - including Paddy.
He had treated her like a little sister, until the day he'd realised she could protect him.
He had wooed her delicately but quickly.
They were married within three months.
-O-
Paddy did his duty, he explained. He fucked her, missionary style of course, like a good husband should, but he had to admit, he was more enthusiastic when he turned her over. When she was facing away from him.
Almost anonymous.
With hindsight Paddy could now see that he had been naive to think that Brianna could be his total disguise.
He still had urges, inklings that things could be another way.
"Brian" his nickname for her, seemed more revelatory now.
Brendan had laughed quietly as this.
-O-
Paddy had needed a more substantial outlet, so he had created his office, his den and had acquired his laptop.
He quickly discovered he was only ever four clicks away from relief.
He coped better.
Life was better, but not great.
He still needed to be vigilant.
There were times he almost lost control completely. Like the time he had typed almost all of his credit card details onto a gay escort agency's application form.
The fact that complete discretion was guaranteed, had tempted him beyond measure.
Luckily he had wiped this from the screen the day before.
"The day before what?" Brendan asked, unexpectedly captivated by Paddy's secret.
"The day before Bri found me out."
Again the tears fell.
He had been holding up well for the past forty minutes, but now the scab had been picked raw again.
-O-
This time Paddy reached over and poured his own beverage.
"I was out at um a friend's birthday bash and hadn't locked the door of the office.
Stupid of me.
Too eager to get away I guess.
I came home to find her staring at the screen.
I knew immediately what she was looking at.
I could see it reflected in the tears in her eyes."
"Jesus." Brendan exclaimed.
"I felt sick."
"I'll bet."
"To cut a long story short, she accused me of being gay. Me!
Then she threw me out."
Brendan let some time pass before he asked.
"Do you think she was wrong?"
Paddy was incensed.
"I've never in my life touched a man!"
"Yeah but ye want to!"
"That's not the point. I haven't. I won't."
"Are you sure about that? Pads look, cards on the table now-do you want to fuck a guy or don't ye?"
"No! Not just any guy."
"So ye have someone in mind?"
Paddy shut his mouth so quickly; Brendan heard his jaws clash together.
"There is someone then?"
Paddy suddenly felt the need to check-out his rucksack on the floor.
"Pads?"
Yet more silence and then.
"His name is Eddie." Paddy whispered.
"It was his birthday do I was at when..."
"I get ya. So what's he like?"
"Fit." Paddy said too quickly.
Brendan chuckled
"Of course, so what else?"
"Young, 22. Dark, slim build, hazel eyes. Lashes from here until next week."
"Watch out for those lashes." Brendan joked.
"Strong too. I mean in himself, he recently told everyone he was gay. Got a lot of stick for it too. Mainly from me.
You always hit the ones you like eh?"
Brendan gave a wry smile.
"I like 'em young, apparently."
Brendan squirmed in his seat.
"Brothers under the skin" he said quietly. Then with more volume.
"My other half's younger."
"Your other half?"
"Yeah."
"You're seeing some guy, like a proper couple?"
"Guilty as charged."
"Really?" Paddy said in astonishment.
"So does everyone know about him?"
Brendan laughed and shook his head.
"Yeah they do. Had to tell otherwise he wouldn't stay. He's big on honesty and openness.
As you know it's not my default setting but I couldn't lose him.
I won't lose him.
I came close once or twice, but good sense was literally knocked into me."
Considering they had never been the closest of friends, home truths were sailing between them at the rate of knots.
-O-
"How about this Eddie?" Brendan enquired.
"Does anyone know about him?"
Paddy snorted.
"He doesn't even know about him" then he laughed at the absurdity of his situation.
"He doesn't know I .."
"Fancy him." Brendan finished.
"Yeah that. So far I've just hounded him."
"Planning on changing course?"
"I don't know. I've got to get Brianna back."
"Seriously? I know you've been blessed by the Blarney stone and you've got the gift of the gab, but are sure you can salvage this?
Do you really want to? Is it fair on her?"
"I thought you of all people would understand." Paddy almost whined.
"I do mate. I do. It's just that I've been through all this and have come out on the other side.
I now see how much it hurts the women.
Their lives are in limbo, while we hide behind their skirts calling ourselves men.
We wrap them around us like invisibility cloaks.
No-one gets any joy. Not us and certainly not them.
Brianna hasn't even got the comfort of kids."
Paddy stood up and squared up to Brendan defiantly.
"I'm a man. I could give Brianna kids if I wanted to."
Brendan ignored him and carried on calmly.
"No doubt. I'm just saying this is a lose-lose situation, especially as she now knows the truth.
The manly thing to do would be to end it.
Be single or be with Eddie, but set her free.
Let her breathe.
While there is still time."
-O-
Paddy wasn't so stubborn that he ignored good sense when he heard it.
His spur-of-the-moment dash to Brendan's, had been a last ditch attempt to manoeuvre around and manipulate Brianna. He had hoped to come back with a fool-proof plan to win her back. To perform some sleight of hand, to distract her from what was becoming more and more obvious. However it looked like all he was going to go back with, was the truth.
"Another drink?" Brendan offered.
"Yeah."
Paddy sat down again.
"So this Ian?"
"Eddie." Paddy quickly interjected.
"When are you going to tell him ye worship the bones of him?"
"Don't know if I can."
"Course you can."
"I just can't stop thinking about him."
"Then ye have to."
"I've been vile to him though. Really, really hard on him."
"Mmmm." Brendan didn't trust himself to speak.
"It's amazing how resilient the young are. You should try at least."
"Maybe." Paddy mused.
"You know when I was here before and I caught you and that guy together in the Jacuzzi?"
"How could I forget? You nicked me feckin' watch."
"I was jealous as hell.
You had the balls to do what I could only wet dream of.
I still look back on that, as being one of the best days of my life. How sad is that?"
Brendan almost felt sorry for him-almost.
"Ye got to take risks mate. If you want to be really happy.
Speak to him.
See what he says.
He might tell ye to take a hike, or he might up and surprise ye.
I've got the two things I never thought I'd ever have.
My man and my family, because I finally took that risk.
Remember Pads, we only walk this way once."
-O-
During this chat, Paddy had just been staring straight ahead with unfocused eyes.
Brendan's final words had snapped him back to reality however and that's when he realised that his line of vision was directed up Brendan's short towel.
Brendan closed his legs.
He then offered Paddy the spare room for the night and went to get dressed.
While upstairs, he heard the front door slam shut and Stephen's voice float up.
"Bren, I've been calling and calling you.
Wassup with your phone?"
-OOO-
18 Hours Later
Like a man on a mission Paddy entered his workplace at break-neck speed.
"Where is he?" He shouted.
"Where's who?" Jo-Jo asked.
"Eddie." Paddy bellowed.
"He's not here, he's off today. Not feeling well so he isn't," came the reply.
"Huh." Paddy grunted, as he quickly scoured the forecourt, to check whether this was true, before sweeping out of the place and heading towards Eddie's flat, just off the main road by the Chippy.
"What do ye want with him?" Jo-Jo called after him.
"It's between he and me" Paddy yelled.
"Go easy on him Paddy, for Chrissake." Jo-Jo- shouted, trying to make himself heard above the mid-day traffic.
As if Paddy thought, as if.
-O-
Paddy didn't have any difficulty finding Eddie's flat. He had often walked past it when he'd "just happened" to be passing in recent months.
17a St Paul's Square was now indelibly etched on his brain. Much like his own birthday. It was there now, for life.
As he climbed the front stoop, the outer doors flew open.
Eddie was there with wet hair, presumably freshly showered and dressed casually in a bright blue t-shirt with 69 provocatively splashed across the front in orange and grey trackies.
Paddy took a beat to take this all in, before barging in.
Eddie was on his mobile, to Jo-Jo.
Forewarned is forearmed.
"No, no it's fine Jo-Jo. He's here now. I'll deal with it. Whatever it is. Thanks anyway. Bye."
Eddie quickly turned his attention to the clearly agitated Irishman in his hallway.
"Come in why don't ye."
Fearing that this encounter was likely to become loud and possibly violent, Eddie scrambled to insert his keys into the lock of his personal front door.
Ushering Paddy in.
He couldn't afford to upset his neighbours, again.
-O-
On a roll, Paddy entered at speed and paced the length of the living room.
He made a note of how many doors led off the room and tried to ascertain whether anyone else was in the flat with them.
"What's this about Paddy?" Eddie nervously asked. Frightened now, having let an angry, built and obviously powerful man into his personal space.
They were alone. He knew this. Paddy did not.
In reply Paddy stood still and just glared at Eddie.
He paused for thought.
On the ferry back to Dublin, Paddy hadn't thought further than reaching him. The rest was up for grabs and he was now going to need to move quickly, if he wasn't to lose his advantage.
"Ok look, I know I put salt instead of sugar in your tea last time, but it was a flipping joke. You've been such a miserable git recently, so you have; but d'you really need to track me down a week later for it. Jeez."
Paddy advanced on hearing this.
Eddie suddenly dropped the bravado.
"I'm sorry, sorry ok. Whatever is pissing you off, I apologise for yeah?"
He held up a hand in front of him, to protect himself, genuinely scared now.
Paddy reached out and interlaced his fingers with the outstretched hand.
He held it. Suspended in mid-air.
He looked at it with marvel in his eyes.
This was the first time he had touched the object of his desire.
Eddie was completely flummoxed.
Initially he tried to wrest his hand away, but then he looked deeply into Paddy's eyes and slowly realised there was no need.
No need at all.
-O-
Paddy delicately ran his thumb over the back of Eddie's hand.
Eddie looked on.
Taking all his courage and screwing it to the sticking place, Paddy raised Eddie's hand, turned it slightly and kissed his now openly exposed palm.
Once, twice, thrice.
He wanted to make clear that this not a mistake.
He wasn't confused. He was committed.
"I don't understand." Eddie murmured. "You hate me."
"No, kid" this was said with force. "No." Paddy shook his head vehemently.
Without letting go of Eddie's hand, he took a step closer and stared at his eyes, his lips, his lips again.
Slowly, with obvious trepidation in his own eyes, Paddy raised his other hand and placed it behind Eddie's neck. One more step meant that he was now flush against the front of his body.
A male body.
Another first.
Eddie felt his immediate response. There could be no doubt about his feelings now.
Paddy nervously licked his own dry lips.
He continued to gaze hungrily at Eddie's, but frustratingly did not make a move.
Eddie finally took matters into his own hands and closed the gap between them.
A question of Paddy's was then answered. Eddie's lips were as soft as they had promised to be.
Laced as they were with the aftermath of toothpaste.
Paddy moved his hand through Eddie's damp hair and pulled him closer.
He needed him to be close. Closer than it was polite to be. Closer than his own skin.
Eddie's fringe was still wet and droplets of water trickled down Paddy's face because of it.
Paddy didn't care, didn't flinch, this was bliss.
-O-
Eddie was the first to pull away.
He leant back and smiled broadly at Paddy. Astonished.
Paddy greedy for more, moved in for another kiss. This was freely given.
Eddie then shook his head, like a shaggy dog and showered them both with droplets of water.
They both laughed.
The tension eased.
"When?" Eddie asked.
"Always." Paddy answered.
Eddie shoved Paddy's right shoulder hard.
"You rode me so hard."
(Paddy's eyes lit up at this).
"I almost quit."
"Sorry about that, but I couldn't let you know. I couldn't let anyone know. I still can't."
"Does your wife know?"
A flash of pain momentarily added fire to Paddy's eyes.
"Sorry I shouldn't have asked. It's not my business."
"It is your business." Paddy stated emphatically.
"She knows in general, just not the specifics. There weren't any, until today."
Eddie's eyes widened in complete surprise. He had never ever been anyone's first.
He was gobsmacked and honoured.
Cupping Paddy's head in his hands, he initiated their first deep kiss.
He tentatively slipped his tongue inside Paddy's mouth and lightly touched his. Once he gained a response, he curled Paddy's tongue inside his own and sucked rhythmically.
The room began to fill with appreciative sounds. It took a moment or two for Paddy to realise they were emanating from him. Normally he was such a quiet lover.
Not today.
Realising that there was definitely a mutual attraction here, Paddy became bold and quickly pulled Eddie's t-shirt out of his trackies and slid his hands underneath and eagerly caressed any skin he could find.
He was met with two pleasant shocks.
One, Eddie had an unexpectantly hairy chest, an anomaly considering his small, tight, boyish frame.
Two, he had a nipple ring.
Paddy was amazed. He broke off the kiss to hurriedly ruck up the t-shirt further to take a more considered look.
He had seen one before of course. Glimpses had been taken, as an occasional specimen had passed him on the streets in summer months. Also one of his favourite actor's in his soul-saving videos sported one too.
To see one up close and personal though was mind-blowing, to lick one, well.
Paddy swooped down to claim his buried treasure.
The noises in the room increased, not least because Eddie could not stop squirming and laughing uproariously.
Paddy stopped abruptly; he lifted his head and directed his gaze to the top of Eddie's forehead.
"Have you..?" (He swallowed) "Got anywhere more comfortable?" His face was bathed in successive waves of red.
"Follow me." Eddie responded.
He led Paddy to his bedroom.
-O-
This was a large Moroccan themed room, with rugs, cushions and a large ornate wooden screen, which took up most of the end of the bed, providing privacy from the dressing rail, which was also present.
Dropping Paddy's hand, Eddie set about lighting four or five tea-lights housed in colourfully hand-painted mint tea glasses. Despite the early hour, the ambiance created was that of dusk.
Throwing the cushions off the bed, Eddie made room for his companion.
Paddy wanted to explore, but he wanted to explore Eddie more.
Climbing onto the king-size bed, he was unsure which position to take up.
Was he "the man" was he not?
Should he take charge, but take charge of what exactly?
Thankfully Eddie beckoned for him to lie on his side facing him.
Neutral.
While he settled, Eddie took the lead. He kissed, stroked and teased Paddy skilfully.
When Eddie's hand entered Paddy's jeans, Paddy actually swooned.
Sometimes too much of a good thing is a bad thing. It can be a short-lived show.
Finally getting to experience all he'd ever yearned for meant that Paddy went from 0-60 in 20 seconds.
Eddie had barely started his ministrations when Paddy swiftly shuddered to his finale, spurting his applause all over Eddie's wrist.
"Damn, oh no, fuck, sorry." Paddy felt even the roots of his hair turn red.
Not since he was fifteen, had he had to apologise for his performance.
"No worries" Eddie countered. "I'm irresistible, it's widely known," he gently joked. He went on to reassure.
"Next time you'll last longer."
Paddy was relieved that there would be a next time. He'd have kicked his partner to the kerb, in days of yore, if they'd been so disappointing. His desire diminished instantly.
He was grateful Eddie was more forgiving on that score.
-OOO-
St Paul's Square's social standing had slipped in recent years.
Rising unemployment and a dwindling economy plaited together with European bail outs, had brought elements one may describe as undesirable into the neighbourhood.
One resident two internal doors down from Eddie, felt this shift keenly.
Ever observant, always watchful Mrs Church felt duty-bound to inform her landlord of the commotion she had witnessed at lunch-time.
If everyone did their bit, she reasoned, then standards could be maintained.
Just because everything felt as though it was in disarray, there was no need to trail helplessly in its wake and so she rang the first number featured on her speed-dial.
-OOO-
Things were heating up nicely back in the master bedroom.
Paddy was doing his best to recover from his earlier humiliation by using his transferable skills. He was after all, no slouch in the bedroom department.
He was in his most comfortable position so far, pressed so close to Eddie that he could feel his groin pulse.
This was living.
Eddie had tried to dis-robe but Paddy was eager for him to keep his suggestive t-shirt on. Puzzled Eddie looked down at his own chest and laughed at its message.
"Maybe later" he smirked.
Now it was Paddy's turn to descend his reverse stairway to heaven.
He bit Eddie's flat chest, grazing his teeth over his erect nipple and sighed.
Another novelty.
He bowed his head and travelled south, but then out of the blue.
"FUCKING COCKSUCKER!" Flashed through his brain. Whose voice was that? His? His dad's? His Priest's?
Paddy stopped short, momentarily anxious.
Thrown off course.
Could he do this?
Should he do this?
Was this really him?
Eddie lay ultra still, waiting.
Without a word, he reached out a hand and stroked Paddy's cheek, seemingly aware of his internal struggle.
After what seemed like an age, but was probably less than a minute, Paddy opened his mouth and encompassed his future.
At this point Eddie displayed his own vocal talents.
Heightened tension had had an effect on Eddie too and his conclusion happened much sooner that it would have done on other occasions.
Unaffected, Eddie hoisted Paddy up and planted a huge heartfelt kiss on his lips.
Paddy tried unsuccessfully to bury the back of his head into the pillows, in an attempt to back away from the encounter. (Brianna would never have considered such a thing), but eventually he yielded to the inevitable. If Eddie was willing to taste his cock-scented tongue, who was he to complain?
-O-
Eddie rolled over taking Paddy with him; he then reached over towards the bedside cabinet's top-drawer. He took out a tube and unscrewed the cap.
"What's that?" Paddy jerked away slightly.
"It's lube, lubrication. We're gonna need it."
"Oh." Paddy tried hard not to pull away again as Eddie squirted some into his hand.
"It's cold."
"It warms up. Promise."
"Oh." Paddy blushed and ducked his head.
The apprentice was now the master. How the tables had turned.
"We need a condom too." Eddie informed.
"Why neither of us is going to get pregnant?"
Eddie looked at Paddy in genuine disbelief. Overwhelmed by the situation, it took Paddy a second or two to realise his miscomprehension.
"Sorry. I didn't think," he muttered, trying to mask his gaucheness.
Today was definitely a learning curve.
Unfazed Eddie leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose.
"It's ok. New-boy" he softly taunted.
-O-
Paddy considered himself a sensitive lover and so he entered Eddie slowly.
This allowed them both time to adapt and accommodate each other.
Unsure whether to break the world land speed record or to cruise at a more moderate pace, he listened out for cues from Eddie. Luckily Eddie was a bit of a boy racer and quickly made his needs known.
Sharing sweat had never felt so good.
Brianna had liked to be lady-like during sex.
Now Paddy could release all his desires and urges through his pores and it felt fucking fantastic.
It was another new intimacy shared.
As he moved through the gears, Paddy felt his hands slipping.
He wasn't used to this.
Usually he had a curve of a hip to hold on to.
A breast to cushion his thrusts.
New tactics were needed.
There was nothing for it. He would have to hold him closer. To grip him harder.
To delve deeper than he'd ever done so before.
He did this until Eddie was almost bent double, before the winning line was crossed and they were both doused in celebratory champagne.
-O-
As his breathing returned to normal, Paddy's thoughts turned to Brianna. He now fully realised that this scenario had to be dealt with quickly.
"You ok?" Eddie's enquiry pierced his sombre thoughts.
"I'm better than that; I'm alive for the first time in my life."
"I'm glad to hear it. It's a big step whenever you take it." Eddie said with a tender smile.
"Now I've got to clear up this mess I've created."
"With your wife?"
"Yeah" Paddy's eyes clouded over. He turned a sorrowful face towards Eddie.
"I've got to take baby-steps.
I want this." He kissed Eddie with feeling briefly. "I want you, I do; but I don't want rub her nose in it. In us. S'only fair."
Eddie nodded his head in agreement. Deferred gratification, he could understand that.
-O-
Paddy suddenly felt as if a spell had been broken.
He snuggled down and released a peal of laughter into Eddie's armpit, while Eddie stroked the back of his neck lovingly.
He finally knew he was free.
He was aware that plain sailing wasn't guaranteed, but he also knew happiness had never smelt so good.
Not feeling quite the novice now, Paddy pressed play again.
This time he knew where to place his hands for maximum effect.
He was a quick study.
Much kissing then ensued.
Hands traced what were fast becoming familiar tracks around each other's bodies.
Paddy was getting used to the sensation of stubble.
A new craving was being established.
Eddie couldn't quite believe how his afternoon had panned out.
Then the unmistakeable sound of a key turning in a lock was heard.
It reverberated around the flat like a rumble of thunder, before an almighty storm.
The pair froze, mid-motion.
Eddie in his unexpected euphoria had forgotten one thing, one tiny detail.
His boyfriend.
-OOO-
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