This is quickly becoming my favorite fic that I've written. It's Jerry/Alexis with all other characters involved. It starts off after Michael was shot. I think that's all you have to know, really. Oh, and the chapters are very, very, VERY looong!! Enjoy!!
Pieces
Chapter One
Alexis hesitated before knocking. She wasn't exactly sure if she wanted to. She peered through the window at the woman and child before her. Sure, she never thought of Caroline Spencer Benson Corinthos Alcazar Jacks as a … superior mother … but looking at her now, alone in a hospital room with her twelve-year old son … shot … in a coma … holding his hand and talking to him … Alexis' heart experienced remorse for ever looking down on her. If she was forced to be completely honest, Alexis didn't think she was excelling in motherhood at the moment. She regretted that night with Sonny and it broke her heart to do so … it gave her Kristina. She shouldn't have had Sam … or Molly either because Cassadine's aren't suppose to have children. It was an unwritten rule. Do not procreate … the Cassadine name should end, but Alexis did have Sam … and Kristina … and Molly and was thankful everyday for that. She wouldn't be alive today if she didn't have each one of them.
She knocked as she slid the heavy door open, "Hi, Carly …" she looked to Michael, "Hey, Michael."
Carly gave her a small smile and stood, nervously wrapping her arms around herself. Alexis remembered the Carly that stood in front of her years ago when their children were missing. They'd both been through hell and back since then, but neither had really changed.
Alexis smiled supportively to the blond, "I'm not going to ask how you are because I know how you are and I'm sure that you're tired of being asked that."
"I am," Carly nodded and looked back to her son, then her eyes drifted to the clock on the wall, "It's five o'clock in the morning, Alexis … forgive me, but why are you here?"
Alexis placed her purse down gently on the table and began explaining, "I couldn't sleep … and I was thinking about you and Michael … I sat in my living room … drinking my coffee … and my girls were safe and sound in their beds … I remembered when Kristina was in the hospital … I felt so guilty sometimes because all I wanted to do was go for a walk. I knew that I needed to get out of the hospital, if only for a few minutes, just to … breathe. I never did though, because I wouldn't leave Kristina alone. Even if Ric was there, or Jax, Nikolas … or even Sonny, I wouldn't leave because I wanted her to feel my presence. I wanted her to feel her mother there with her … so," Alexis looked down, "I remembered that feeling … and I thought of you, so I came here to see if you needed a break. Go for a walk … take a nap. Go home for a little while, and don't feel guilty … I would like to, well, I want to help you. Mother to mother … I want to help," her eyes met Carly's and received a look of … was it appreciation? Admiration? Alexis wasn't sure exactly.
Carly didn't speak. She simply picked up Michael's hand and kissed it, turning then to Alexis, "Thank you."
She walked out of the room and Alexis stood alone with the noise of the machines around her. Her eyes drifted to Michael and a smile formed as she sat by the boy, "Hi, Michael … it's Alexis Davis … well, Alexis. I'd like to hang out with you for a while if that's okay."
She spoke to him softly … like she would her own child … and told him things that she wouldn't normally tell him. She spoke of when she was twelve … she talked to him about Kristina … then Sonny entered her mind.
"Your father loves you so much, Michael … he always has and always will and I know that you know that. He makes mistakes, as we all do, but he pays for them differently … he doesn't wait for others to scold him … yell or scream at him … he does that to his own self, and he does it constantly. I knew him well for a while and what I knew stayed with me. He tries to act like he's a different person, but deep down, I know that he's the same. Whatever you hear about him, Michael … whatever words are said in this room, just know that he loves you."
"Thank you," she jumped at the voice behind her. She didn't hear him open the door or walk up behind her. She smiled faintly up to him and returned her attention to his son.
She whispered, "He needs to know …" she let go of Michael's hand and stood, as Carly did previously … wrapping her hands around herself nervously.
"I didn't think that you could talk about me like that," Sonny gave her a quick smile.
She looked away, "It's the truth."
He nodded, "I do love him …"
"… and he knows that," she added.
His eyes met hers and they just looked into them … seeing the Alexis he remembered from what seemed like a lifetime ago. She did the same. He hadn't changed a bit. He was still a sad little boy inside … fighting the world.
He looked away, "Where's Carly?"
"I came by about an hour ago … couldn't sleep … I figured that maybe she could if she had the opportunity. I wanted to see if she needed a break."
"She did."
Alexis nodded.
"That was very kind of you … unexpected."
She turned to Michael, "Not so unexpected … he needs his mother to be well-rested … on top of things for him … I did it for him."
"Well, thank you … from both of us."
She met his eyes again and saw him hiding something … pain … regret … love. Love?
"Sonny, you look like you need something, too …"
He looked away and walked around to sit on the other side of his son, picking up the small hand in his, "All I need is for him to wake up and tell me that he's alright."
She watched the father touch his son's hand and once again, thought about the Sonny from years ago … the vulnerable, loving, funny man that she thought she'd fallen in love with.
"Well, I guess I should go, then … I'll leave you two guys alone …"
"No!" Sonny said quickly, "I mean … you … you don't have to," he looked away.
She stood close to the door now and bit her lip, "Are you sure?"
He nodded, not looking away from Michael, "We like having you here."
She stared at him, and then closed her eyes for a moment. She liked hearing those words from his lips. He wanted her around … she hadn't felt that in forever. She sat on the other side of him and silently watched as Sonny updated Michael on things. He was just talking, as she had been, and it seemed to help him … he seemed comfortable with her there, and she liked it.
Carly returned an hour later and forced a stained smile when she saw Sonny. Alexis felt for her. She blamed him, as Alexis did, but Carly chose to deal with it differently. She had every right to. All along, Alexis knew that their children were in danger … Carly refused to believe that. All along, Alexis imagined the possibilities … and expected the worst … Carly remained voluntarily ignorant to the chance of this happening. She was sincerely astounded when it happened … and Alexis knew that this was the main reason Carly was angry. She didn't expect it.
"Alexis, may I speak with you in the hall for a minute?" Carly sounded like a little girl. Alexis was surprised herself at the way she felt for Carly at that moment. She felt an odd sense of … understanding.
"Sure," Alexis smiled to Sonny and then exited, followed by Carly.
"I um … I wanted to thank you first of all for the break … I did need some air … I went outside and sat in front of the hospital … it was still dark out …" Carly looked down. She was rambling. Alexis gave her time, "I just … I was thinking about Morgan … how he must be feeling right now … I mean, he's used to being with his nanny and all, but I'm never home anymore, and I won't be for a while … and what you said about when Kristina was in the hospital … I don't want Morgan to be without that either … that love … so, I was … I was wondering if maybe," Carly met Alexis' eyes, "Can Morgan stay at the lake house with you for a while? If not, that's alright, I'll understand, but I think that it'll be good for him to have his big sister around … and he loves Molly like she's his little sister, and I know that he loves you … and …"
"Carly," Alexis reached out and took Carly's hand, "I think that is a wonderful idea and I would absolutely love to have Morgan around."
Carly stared at her hand in Alexis', and then linked eyes with her, "Really?" She let out a relieved sigh. She didn't know why she'd been nervous. Alexis liked Morgan … and Alexis surprised her when she arrived this morning … it was as if she … was a friend.
"Yes, really," Alexis broke contact with Carly's hand and stood, smiling, "I think that's a great idea."
Carly nodded and looked to her right … to her son in the room with his father, "So … what did he say?"
Alexis wore a confused expression, "About?"
"The situation …"
"Carly … he blames himself," Alexis said.
"As he should."
"Yes. He should … and he does … and you have every right to be angry …"
"But?"
Alexis shook her head, "… but … nothing. That's it. You deserve to hate him. He knows this. We all know this. I would hate him too …"
"You don't?"
"I hate his life. I hate what he does for a living … I hate that this happened, and yes, it's entirely his fault …"
"Is there a 'but' now?"
"Yes," Alexis inhaled, "… but Sonny is experiencing his punishment. There's nothing more that you or I or anyone can do, Carly … to hurt him more. This is the consequence, and he understands that."
Carly watched the woman in front of her speak of Sonny with understanding and remorse. Here was Alexis Davis … the woman who warned them all … the woman who predicted this would happen … standing up for Sonny.
Alexis knew what was going on in Carly's head, "I'm not defending him. It's not my job anymore, and especially about this … I was just … I don't know … telling you that you shouldn't waste your energy trying to punish him. He's there. This is his punishment and nothing you say or do can make it worse. I know you want to … there's a part of me that does too, but it's pointless. There's nothing that can be done … to make him feel worse than he already does."
"Okay …" Carly was tired of talking about him.
"Sorry," Alexis didn't know why she was apologizing. She spoke what she felt, but she was sorry … for everything.
"I should get back in there. Do you want me to call you when Morgan is ready to …"
"He's welcome any time, Carly … go be with Michael … Morgan is safe."
Carly stared into Alexis' eyes, "He'll never be safe, but thank you …" she turned and opened the door, once again catching Alexis' gaze, "Thank you," she whispered a final time and went in to join her son.
She was right. There children weren't safe. Not even Molly, who's father was not in the mafia. She watched the two parents with their son for a moment more and then went home to her girls … who were alive and well … and needing answers as to why they couldn't see Michael for a while.
She sat in her car, parked in her driveway, longer than she'd wanted. She was ready to see her children … she wanted to see them smile … but she couldn't open the door. Her head tilted back to rest on the seat. She didn't expect the tears, but they came anyway. She didn't think that she was capable of sobbing, but her body proved her wrong. She sat there, alone … weeping for her children … for Michael and Morgan … for Carly, and Sonny, and Jax … and for the simple reason that it had been a while since she'd cried … and it was time.
Sam drove in … unseen … behind Alexis. She waited for her mother to step out of the car. She didn't. Sam finally stepped out of her jeep and walked cautiously up to the car. What she saw broke her heart. Alexis was crying, head in hands … her shoulders shaking with the sobs … and Sam couldn't let it happen. Not Alexis. She couldn't let her mother suffer alone. She didn't want to frighten her mother by knocking, so she'd scare her to death by opening the door. Alexis heard the door open, but didn't respond … Sam knelt on the ground and slid her arm around her mother, pulling her into an odd embrace. Sam didn't know what else to do … Alexis leaned over and laid her head heavy on Sam's shoulder.
"It's okay …" Sam whispered, knowing that it wasn't. She ran her hand over her mother's back and let her cry. She didn't say anything else. Alexis just let it out. She knew that crying showed weakness, but she felt weak. It wasn't the Cassadine way, but she didn't feel like a Cassadine … never had … so she cried. She held on to Sam as if her life depended on it and just … let it all go.
He drove up and parked beside what he assumed was Sam's jeep … his assumption was correct … he saw the two women embracing by the car … Alexis was still in the car and Sam was kneeling on the grass, holding her. He felt a pain in his heart as he watched on, feeling intrusive … for witnessing something so true … so enlightening. Alexis wasn't this heartless, uncaring, rigid woman that so many people in this town regarded her as. She was able to cry … she was able to show her emotion, and she was able to express herself. He knew that from experience. She surprised him two nights prior at the Haunted Star … under the roulette table … when he held up the found 5,000 chip to her, she leaned forward and kissed him. It was unanticipated and entirely initiated by her. He was stunned for the first few seconds, but then he felt her tongue sweep against his lip, and his mind went blank. He didn't care that there were people surrounding them. He didn't care that they were on the floor and everyone could see if they wanted. He didn't care about anything … except her lips … her tongue … her face as he unconsciously lifted his hand to touch her … slipping it behind her neck to pull her closer. The kiss deepened and when he heard her whimper into his mouth, it took all of his strength not to rip the dress off her and take her there on the floor, for the entire world to see.
"Uncle Jerry?"
The tiny voice brought Jerry back to life as he looked up from his daze. Sam and Alexis were still where they had been before, but they were now looking up to him.
"Come on little guy …"
He stepped out and smiled at the women as he opened the back door to release Morgan from his car seat.
Alexis was standing now, wiping her cheeks quickly … she tried, but she couldn't hide from him. He smiled as her eyes met his … God she was beautiful … "I have a package for you," he looked down to Morgan who was holding his hand.
Alexis grinned down at the five-year old, "Hey, Morgan … come on … let's go wake up the girls."
Sam watched Alexis lead Morgan up the stairs and into the house. She looked to Jerry, noticing the way he was looking at her mother, "Why's Morgan here?"
"Alexis told Carly that he could stay here for a while … Jax had me bring him over when he left for the hospital this morning."
Sam nodded, still eyeing Jerry. She turned to walk to the house but stopped immediately … should she invite him in? It wasn't her house … she glanced at him, "Uh, I guess … come on up."
Jerry smiled and followed her in. The living room was empty … they assumed Alexis went to wake the girls as she mentioned. Sam headed for the kitchen, "I'm going to make some breakfast … make yourself at home …" she felt strange … being courteous to this man. Alexis told her that he was a client and nothing more … nothing less, but she wasn't stupid. She could see the looks … there was something there, and even if her mother denied it, Sam knew that somehow, Jerry wouldn't. She'd talk to her later. Sam nodded to herself as she assessed the food in the kitchen … she'd definitely talk to her later.
Kristina walked into the living room, rubbing her eyes. Jerry's heart melted. She was the cutest little thing he'd ever seen. She stopped in her tracks on the bottom step when she saw him. Her big brown eyes now wide awake, searched over his face. He knew that she'd remember him, but she didn't expect him to be here … so she was surprised. He tried to calm her.
"Hey, Kristina."
She continued to stare at him. Was she still not talking?
"I'm Jerry, remember?"
"With the voices …" she recalled.
"Yes, you remember," he smiled, remembering himself that day at the hospital.
She stood there still. He sat up, "Your big sister's in the kitchen, making breakfast," he informed, giving her an 'out' if she wanted to leave. She didn't. He leaned back into the chair as she walked around the couch and sat, wiping at her sleepy eyes again.
"So how are you this morning?"
She presented him with a small smile. She was talking, but not much. He looked up as her mother and siblings arrived in view. Alexis' eyes fell on him and she stopped for a split second. He wondered if she'd forgotten that he was here … or if she had expected him to leave.
Sam appeared as well and announced that breakfast was ready … and that their breakfast … was cereal.
They all piled into the dining area by the kitchen. The adults laughed at the six bowls of Captain Crunch before them … the children did not. They dug right in. Alexis' arm went around Sam's shoulders.
"Thanks for making breakfast, sweetie."
"Hey … you own the house and the contents of the kitchen … I just work here."
Alexis smiled and looked up to Jerry, "Hungry?"
He smiled and said before sitting, "Famished."
The two women watched for a moment … Jerry Jacks … supposed psycho … scarfing down Captain Crunch with the kids. They smiled and joined him.
"Well, thanks for breakfast," Jerry was walked to the door by Alexis.
"You're welcome, and I'm sorry it wasn't …"
He took her hand, "Don't … it was fabulous, darling. More than I ever expected and I had a great time with your beautiful children."
She moved her eyes from his hand holding hers up to his eyes. Touching him … she found that she was unable to speak. Even if she wanted to, she would be unable.
"Oh!" He released her hand and opened the door, "I forgot Morgan's things in the car."
She watched him walk out and looked back down to her hand. It distressed her that she was sad he let it go. She shook it off and followed him down to his car.
"I can bring it in for you …"
"I've got it," Alexis put the small backpack on her shoulder and took the other bag from him, "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
She turned. He couldn't let this be the end, "Alexis!"
She looked back.
"Wait."
He walked up to her and for a moment, she thought that he was going to kiss her. He came so close. She wouldn't have fought it.
"Are you all right?"
She gave him a look."I'm fine."
"No," he took the backpack from her and set it beside the overnight bag already on the ground, "I saw you earlier … in the car … you were upset."
She looked down.
"Are you all right?" He asked again as her eyes met his.
She closed hers and just spoke, "I used to live across from Sonny … when I was his lawyer," her eyes opened, "… one night … I had a really awful … encounter … or thought … I don't remember… of my stepmother, Helena … she made me miserable … even then, as an adult, she rattled me …" she looked to the ground again as he leaned gently against her car, listening.
"Long story short … Sonny convinced me to break … things. Anything I could lay my hands on, I threw to the floor. Hearing the glass shatter into a thousand pieces by my feet … knowing that I had something to do with the destruction … I had control … it felt … exhilarating."
He watched her, not really knowing the point of her story, but enthralled none-the-less.
"I miss that feeling, that's al." She could tell that he was being polite in not asking what the hell she was talking about.
"I know that feeling."
She looked up to him with a new intensity.
It took his breath away.
"I've lost it," she explained through new tears, "My life … the life I thought I knew … it's crumbling down around me ... in a thousand pieces ... and there's nothing I can do to stop it … to put it back together … to control it."
He stepped toward her, "Have you ever thought that maybe you need to just let it fall?"
"No." That never crossed her mind.
"What happened to Michael was … beyond words, honey, but … you can't make it convince you that you or your children are doomed. You aren't. They aren't. I believe with all of my heart that nothing will ever happen to them. I promise you right now that it won't."
"You can't do that."
"I can. I am, Alexis. Sam, Kristina, and Molly are safe. They will always be safe … do you know why?"
She didn't.
"Because I'm here. I don't care how hard you push away from me." He stepped even closer, reaching to place his hand on her waist. She didn't move. Instead, she searched deep into his eyes as he made his promise. She wanted him to be right. She wanted his protection. She wanted him.
"You can push and push and even throw things at me, but I'll never stop making sure that you are okay … that your girls are safe."
"I … Jer…"
"Shhh," he said softly as his face inched closer. She remained quiet, entranced in his eyes. When he looked down to her lips, she knew that he was seconds away from kissing her. Her eyes closed and she felt the lightest touch on her lips. His hand glided to the small of her back as he pulled her into his body, connecting his lips to hers fully now, allowing her to realize how he felt, physically and emotionally. He was falling fast for this woman and it shocked him … how eager he was to welcome it … to change his entire life for her … he would do anything she asked of him … she didn't know it yet, but he'd give his life for her.
The kiss ended shortly after. It wasn't as involved like at the Haunted Star, unfortunately for him, but he didn't want to pressure her. She was vulnerable right now and he didn't want to confuse her any more … he shouldn't have kissed her, but stopped regretting it the moment he started … her eyes opened leisurely as her body was still pressed against his.
He couldn't speak. She couldn't either. For some ungodly reason, she felt the urge to thank him. He'd given her so much and didn't even know it. Instead, she backed away, still focused on him. He watched her leave his orbit and was saddened at the loss.
"Alexis," he whispered.
"Hmm?"
"I'm sorry."
Her face made his heart leap into his throat … she was confused as to what he was sorry for, which meant that she wasn't sorry about what just happened, which meant … one point for him.
He stepped toward her again, and once more, she wished that he'd kiss her. He didn't.
"Alexis, if you tell me right now to back off … if you tell me that you don't want this as much as I do … if you tell me that you just want to be friends, I'll do it," he reached his hand to her face, moving it down to softly touch her neck. He could feel her pulse racing. "I'll give you whatever you want," he whispered.
"I want to be your friend, Jerry, but …" she took his hand off her neck and held it in her hand, "I don't want … I don't want you to stop pursuing me. I … I can't imagine what the rest of my life would be like if - if I never kissed you again."
His heart skipped a beat. He wanted to believe that she had just said that, but it took a while to sink in. She leaned forward and pressed her lips gently to his for a moment … not long enough, then turned to pick up Morgan's things.
Before she disappeared up the stairs and into the house, he came out of his haze. He ran to her before she took the first step up the porch and spun her around to him, crashing his mouth into hers.
