A LIE OR JUST A RIDDLE?
Chapter 1: The Stray Sheep
"Honesty is the key to a relationship.
If you can fake that, you're in."
Richard Jeni
Edward Nygma adjusted the knot of his tie for possibly the hundredth time before returning to the compulsive tapping of his lucky lab pencil against the table. The diner's joyful buzz surrounded him, completely indifferent to his anxious behavior and sinking stomach, and again he flicked out from his pocket the note he had received earlier that day.
"I'd love to get to know you better ;)
Let's meet at the Stray Sheep, 9pm!"
There was no name on the note, no clue he could find that may indicate who had sent it, and yet he'd examined it and stared at it ever since he'd found it on his desk. At first he wondered if it was sent to the wrong place, since no one in the Gotham City Police Department seemed even remotely interested in knowing him at all. But there was something in him, that inexplicable burst of optimism and maybe even naïvety, which made him want to believe there was a soul out there in the vast world who would describe him as anything other than annoying or weird. But as the time ticked by, the dark and cruel little voice in the back of his head was growing louder - and meaner.
He checked his watch once more - 9:34 - and began to frown. Even his innocent optimism had a limit, and his cruel mind started to suggest that perhaps this was intentional, some kind of twisted joke to play on the gullible, strange, awkward, nerdy, irritating forensic analyst, and somewhere out there tonight was a room flooded with testosterone, laughter, and junk food as uniforms laughed and placed bets on how long Nygma would wait for his anonymous admirer.
What began as excitement had turned into dread and anxiety and anger within his throat and he suddenly crumpled the note within his hand and shoved it back into his pocket before standing up. With a deep breath, he turned and started towards the exit of the small bar and grill, passing a young blonde female at the bar on his way.
"A-are you sure? He said he'd meet me here-"
Edward paused as he overheard her pleas to the bartender, slowly turning around as he listened.
"Nah miss, sorry, I haven't seen him for a few weeks." The bartender shrugged his shoulders. "This wouldn't be the first time he ditched a date though. Don't take it personal."
"Son of a bitch," she muttered with an angry hiss, pursing her lips together and fidgeting with the hem of her white-lace mini dress before turning around to leave. However, she came face to face with the tall, slender, bispeckled male and stopped, a bit surprised by his dead stare.
As if someone was frantically whispering instructions into his ear, Edward suddenly realized he had been staring and blinked his wide eyes like a deer caught in the headlights. "O-oh, pardon me," he said with an overly chipper tone, "I uh, just heard you were stood up on a date?"
The blonde watched him curiously, but didn't immediately dismiss him - something he wasn't used to. Her lashes fluttered over sapphire blue hues as she rolled her eyes. "Heh, yeah, apparently... I know, pretty lame, right?" With a polite attempt of a smile, she continued past him, but after darting his eyes around in quick thought, he piped up again.
"I was supposed to meet someone, too!"
Again she stopped and slowly turned on her white heels to glance over at him, her eyes narrowing as if to try and read his mind. "Oh, well... I'm sorry about that."
"You obviously went through a lot of effort to look nice!" His words seemed to bubble out as if he couldn't control himself, and even he wasn't sure what kind of slippery slope he was running full-speed towards. Perhaps it was a deep sense of longing he felt for some kind of connection - any kind - especially after letting himself get his hopes up for something this evening. "I just, well, I mean..." Uh oh, his conscious thinking was causing him to stumble over himself now.
It didn't seem to matter, though, as a subtle but coy smirk spread across the blonde's face, her golden yellow curls bouncing around her softly featured face as she fully turned to him and nodded. "Of course. We're both date-ready it seems, and we both deserve a nice time, right?"
He nearly choked on whatever words he considered replying with... not that he was expecting rejection, but he wasn't expecting such an immediate acceptance either. Actually, he had no idea what to expect. He was already completely out of his element, but he didn't want this gorgeous stranger to suffer the same darkness he had started to feel. That bitterness of leaving somewhere empty-handed and alone. Maybe he could at least entertain her for a short while before they parted ways.
"Well, I guess we should grab a table then~" She spoke with such a gentle and feminine voice, he couldn't help but feel suspicious. Was she being sarcastic? Snarky? "Oh, I'm Catherine by the way!" With a perky smile, she reached out her hand. Now that the shock of his own spontaneity had died down, he was suddenly able to appreciate her friendliness and returned her smile, taking her hand.
"Edward Nygma, it's a pleasure to meet you!"
"So old-school formal!" She laughed quietly as she moved toward the table Edward had been waiting at before. "Wait, this is the table you were at, right? I remember seeing you now when I first came in."
Not sure exactly how to respond, he bit his lower lip before spitting out a riddle. "What starts with the letter 'e', ends with the letter 'e', and contains one letter?"
She stopped for a moment, giving him a confused look as she slowly sat down across from his chair. "A riddle...?"
"Do you... like riddles?" He asked sheepishly, sitting down and staring at her with wide, hopeful eyes.
"I think," she said with a giggle, "let's see if I can solve this one, then I'll tell ya if I like 'em or not~" Her lips pouted as she thought, resting her elbow on the table to rest her chin against the back of her hand. "Uh, well it's obviously not the letter 'e'... but how can a word have just one- unless you mean- oh! Like a-!" Her face brightened up as she snapped her fingers and pointed to him. "An envelope!"
His own eyes brightened at her answer. "Correct!" With a flick of his wrist, he pulled out the anonymous note and handed it to her. "I found this in an envelope on my desk earlier today."
"Hmm?" Curiously, she took the note and unfolded it. "Huh, strange. And they never showed?"
"Nope." To his surprise however, he now hardly felt the bitterness from just moments ago. "So when I heard you were supposed to meet someone here as well-"
"You thought it was too odd for a coincidence?"
He smiled. "You read my mind."
"Nah, I would have thought the same, too." With a frown, she handed the note back to him. "But I didn't come here from a note, I went on a first date with this guy who seemed alright. I wasn't terribly interested but he asked me on a second date, surprisingly, so I guess I just wanted to see where it would go."
"Why was that surprising?" Edward asked, narrowing his eyes as he leaned forward.
She blinked with widened eyes, then chuckled softly and glanced to the side. "Heh, well... uh, you know how guys are, they usually ask me out expecting... something else, ya know?"
His stare turned rather blank as he watched her, finding himself just expecting a follow-up statement but she seemed to leave it at that. "Wait, what were they expecting?"
Her cheeks turned a light red as she looked back to him, trying to figure out if he was serious. "Wh-what do you mean, you really don't get it?!" His expression remained a combination of blank and confused, and after a moment she realized how innocent-minded he must be. Even if he was gay, he should have been able to understand what she was getting at. "I like to dress up and look nice when I go out," she muttered with a quiet sigh, "so I guess that makes guys think I'm easy or whatever. I'm always asked out on first dates, but then they see I'm more than a one-night gig and they move on."
"One-night gig... oh!" His lightbulb cut on finally. "So they ask you out expecting a casual sex partner."
His blunt statement caught her off guard, causing her to snort as she stifled her laugh. "Oh my god, yes Edward, exactly."
"Well if that's the case, it's their loss. There's nothing wrong about a lady with class."
Her blush remained as she stared at him now. "Thanks... I mean, glad to know some people can still appreciate it." Gently biting her lip, she suddenly grinned and perked up. "Alive without breath and cold as death, never thirsty but always drinking, all in mail but never clinking... what am I?"
It was his turn to blush slightly, but his brain buzzed with the excitement of a new and unexpected puzzle. "Oh, uh... alive without breath, cold as death..." His eyes lowered to the table as they darted around, and she could almost see the little gears in his head working overtime - it was pretty amusing to watch. "A fish!"
"Bingo!" She chanted with a playful wink. "I was hoping you hadn't heard that one."
"Actually I don't think I have." His smile faded as his expression transitioned from happy to slightly concerned. "Are you the opposite of a fish?"
"Uh... what?" Her brow furrowed in confusion for a second until it clicked. "Oh! Am I thirsty and not drinking?" Again she snorted before breaking out into laughter. "Opposite of a fish, you could have just asked if I wanted a drink~" As her laugh faded, she gave him another wink. "You know, you're pretty interesting. Whoever wrote that note is certainly missing out."
His blush returned with a vengeance and he shifted nervously in his seat before jumping up. "Wh-what would you like to drink, Miss Catherine?"
"Uh, just water would be fine!" He quickly disappeared before she could tell him to drop the 'Miss', but he seemed to return just as quickly as he'd left, with two tall glasses of ice water. "Thank you so much!"
"Not a problem!"
"So, Mister Nygma~ what is it that you do?" Catherine asked as she sipped on her glass, leaving a faint red smudge of lipstick on the edge.
"Oh, I'm a forensic analyst for the GCPD," he said quickly with a growing lump in his throat. Yes, finally find a friend and tell her all about the dead bodies you giggle over during the day. "I uh, examine crime scenes and collect evidence-"
"No way!" She blurted out, her eyes bright and sparkling. "You don't... get to analyze dead bodies and stuff, do you?"
Her sudden interest and enthusiasm caught him off guard yet again. This girl was full of surprises, it seemed. "...Yes," he answered reluctantly, unsure of her reaction and at this point was afraid of scaring her off.
"Whoa~ geez, that can't be easy to do every day, no wonder you have such a sense of humor!"
"Y-Yeah, I..." He paused for a moment, a wide smile spreading across his lips as he chuckled. "I always say it's important to have a good sense of humor!"
"I got you, I got you," she jested, pointing from her eyes to his with a smirk. "I'm afraid I don't do anything nearly as interesting, I work at a dance studio and sometimes catch a modeling gig here and there but that's really about it."
"I disagree, I think that's very interesting!"
"Heh, really?"
Once their conversation began to really roll, it didn't seem to stop, and the minutes turned into hours. People came and left all around them, staff passed to bring more drinks or to clear off the other tables, but neither really noticed. They bubbled up with riddles and jokes and Edward had Catherine choking on her water with laughter; he couldn't remember having so much fun with another person. The only time they really stopped was when the bartender came over to let them know it was closing time.
"Oh shit, seriously?" Catherine asked with a chuckle, checking the time on her phone.
"Oh dear," Edward stared at his watch in disbelief, wondering how in the world it was already 1 am, "I didn't intend to keep you out so late!"
"No no, don't worry, it was great! I really had fun tonight." Gathering her purse, she stood up and he quickly did the same.
"I did, too! You're a pretty amazing person, Miss Catherine."
With a snicker, she grinned and motioned for him to come closer, and he complied with curiosity. "You're pretty amazing yourself, Ed~" she spoke softly with a flutter of her lashes, and was quickly entertained by his flustered reaction. "You know what? Here~" She reached into her purse and pulled out a notepad and a pen, ripping off a sheet of paper. "Here's my cell," she said, jotting down her phone number and giving it to him, "maybe we can meet up again sometime? I promise I'll actually show up!"
His cheeks reddened as he took the note from her, and he couldn't contain his ear-to-ear grin. "Of course! Maybe we can go for lunch during the day?"
"Sounds good!"
"Alrighty," he chirped, carefully putting her note into his pocket, "I guess tonight started and ended with a note. Isn't that funny?"
"In a strange way, I suppose it is~" She yawned quietly, then jumped forward to give him a hug - once more catching him completely off guard. "Well, goodnight, Ed! Hope to hear from you soon, okay?"
They left the diner and parted ways only after a hundred assurances from Catherine that she could get home on her own. Her white heels clicked against the sidewalk as she walked alone in the darkness, and after a couple blocks she pulled out her phone and scrolled through her contacts before dialing out and putting the phone to her ear.
"Ahaaaaa~!" An older male cackled excitedly on the other side. "Catherine you gorgeous demon, tell me you've done it again!"
"It's a pretty done deal," she spoke, her soft gentle charm gone and replaced with a cold, smooth voice. "Got him hook, line, and sinker. Told you the note would work."
"Alright, that's my girl! But why are you gone so early, didn't go back to his place?"
"Ugh, he's not the type at all. Trust me, this guy is more desperate for general human interaction than sex. He'll be a work in progress but the night went perfectly."
"Well if you're sure about that, I need you to tell me you definitely got him in the bag."
"Oh I do, Mister Maroni~ Poor little Edward doesn't know what he's gotten into."
"No he doesn't, does he? Old Falcone won't see this coming either. It's time someone else also had some good leverage in the GCPD."
"I agree, sir," she said with a dark grin, "and you can count on me to get you that leverage."
"A little, just a little; a lie or just a riddle?
Appeal I feel, but only if it's real!"
Ashe, 1925
a/n; I really wanted to write this for a long time... xD I really freaking adore Edward, especially now that he gets more screentime! And oh man, I just really want someone to give him at least a little bit of the attention he deserves! D; ... even if it's done with extremely bad intentions... xD
I adore Catherine though and she's heavily based on a succubus and main character of the 2011 Atlus game, Catherine. It's a Japanese horror puzzle game, and hey, Edward does like puzzles AND video games so... . it works. IT WORKS. (if only in my head?)
Any reviews and critiques are always welcome and adored! Let me know what you think of the characters and the concepts/ideas and all that! :3 I love the feedback! (and also for those of you following my other Gotham fic, Unbound, this is an entirely separate story and YES I'm still working on Unbound xD)
