"Recording in three...two...one!"
The lights flickered on, revealing a table set with two eternally untouched glasses of water and two microphones. Sitting at the table were two kids - a girl with brown hair tied into a loose ponytail under an orange and white cap, and a black-haired boy with a red and white cap and a bored expression on his face. Behind the kids, a window looked out onto the bustling streets of Saffron City.
"Hello, viewers, and welcome to the first ever airing of the Morning Show with Chase and Elaine!" the girl, Elaine, said enthusiastically. "In this fantabulous news and talk show, we will be discussing current events and conducting interviews with the people involved in these events. In addition -"
The boy, Chase, glared at Elaine, then cut her off. "Yeah, I think I'm gonna interrupt you right here before you bore everyone to sleep. I mean, seriously, who uses the word fantabulous?" Chase turned to the audience. "She writes fanfiction, you know. What could be nerdier than that? But enough about her. I bet you're all wondering how two ten-year-olds got to be TV show hosts. Well, you see, there were originally going to be adult hosts, but then it turned out that they were actually in Team Rocket. They got arrested a few hours ago, and our channel, Kanto Now, was desperate for some hosts. Our parents work for Kanto Now, so somehow one thing led to another and we got the job. And since the cameraman was also apparently in Team Rocket, we got our friend Trace to operate the camera. Hopefully he knows what he's doing."
"We would ask Trace to introduce himself, but…" Here Elaine's voice dropped to a whisper. "Nobody likes him. You see, he lacks the jerk factor of Blue, he's too friendly, and more importantly, he hasn't got any fangirls."
Trace stared at Elaine from behind the camera, a wide grin slowly spreading over his face. "Not to be rude or offensive or unfriendly or anything, but I'd like to point out that you don't have any fangirls either."
Elaine, for once, was struck silent. With a smile, Chase resumed speaking. "As much fun as that was to watch, I think it's time we actually talked about the matter at hand. First of all, let me introduce our sponsor, Celadon Game Corner - a fun place for everyone!" Chase stared down at the papers in his hand. "Now for today's news! Yesterday at ten p.m., an eleven-year-old boy named Red apparently discovered Team Rocket's base, which was hidden under the - oh, crud."
Elaine glanced at the paper. "Um, it says here that Red discovered the base under, um, the previously mentioned Celadon Game Corner. Our former sponsor. Emphasis on former. We are definitely not being sponsored by Team Rocket in any way, shape, or form." She turned to Trace and hissed, "You better find us a new sponsor!"
Chase cleared his throat loudly. "Anyway, this Red kid allegedly defeated all of the Rockets in the base with his Pokemon, driving them out of Celadon City. Unfortunately, only two of the Rockets were arrested."
"We'll be interviewing them now!" Elaine exclaimed. "Coming to you live from Celadon Jail, it's Jessie and James!"
Nothing happened.
"I said, coming to you live from Celadon Jail, it's Jessie and James!" Elaine snapped. "Trace, do the thing with the split screen already!"
"Sorry, it isn't working," Trace explained. "But I did politely ask the cops at the jail to let me video call Jessie and James, and they very nicely allowed me to do so. Here you go." He walked up to Elaine and handed her his phone.
Elaine sighed. "Well, then. Coming to you live from a ten-centimeter screen, Jessie and James!"
"So, I heard the two of you got arrested. What is your comment on this?" Chase asked, looking into the phone.
"Those police better prepare for trouble and make it double!" a high-pitched, feminine voice yelled from the phone - evidently Jessie's.
"Do you have anything to say for yourselves?" Elaine said.
"We were just trying to protect the world from devastation and unite all peoples within our nation!" a masculine voice - James's - said pleadingly.
"Yeah, and to denounce the evils of truth and love and extend our reach to the stars above! You can't blame us for anything!" Jessie screeched.
"Actually, the judge found you guilty of assault and robbery, so technically we can blame you for something," Chase replied.
"You little twerps! Let me tell you something - when we get out of here, we'll blast off at the speed of light!" James declared.
"And when that happens, you need to surrender or prepare to fight!" Jessie shouted.
"Meowth! That's right!" an odd, growly voice snarled.
And before the two hosts could ask any more questions, a loud beeping noise sounded out, signaling that Jessie and James had hung up.
"Well, that went fantastic," Chase said sarcastically. "Great job, Trace."
Trace beamed. "Thank you, friend!"
"We have one more interview to do," Elaine announced. "Here comes the kid sensation himself - Red!"
A serious-looking boy with brown hair and eyes walked up to the table. As there was no chair for him to sit in, he wound up just standing there awkwardly.
"Thank you for coming in today, Red," Chase said.
Red smiled and nodded. "..."
"Now, let's talk about what's been on everyone's minds - how did you, a child, manage to locate and defeat a criminal organization? What really happened at the Celadon Game Corner?" Elaine asked, giving Red a dubious look.
Red shrugged. "..."
"Care to elaborate?" Elaine suggested.
"..." Red said with a sigh.
"Um, could you please say something? You know, with your mouth?" Chase muttered.
Elaine elbowed Chase. "You don't use your mouth to speak, stupid. It's a complicated process that involves many body parts."
Chase rolled his eyes. "Okay, Red, could you say something with your many body parts?"
Red opened his mouth. "..."
"Can you do sign language?" Elaine asked, a hint of desperation in her voice.
Chase gave her a hard look. "Maybe he can, but even if he does, can you actually understand him?"
"Well...no," Elaine mumbled. She looked down at her hands, which still held Trace's phone. Suddenly, she sat bolt upright, her eyes bright. "Oh! I've got it! Red can use the flash on this phone to give us answers in Morse Code!"
Chase facepalmed. "Do you know Morse Code?"
Elaine deflated, sinking back into her chair. "...No."
"Look. I know I'm generally a lot stupider than you, but I think I have a better idea," Chase said with a smirk.
Elaine raised her eyebrows. "Oh, really? And what's your fabulous idea, o great one?"
Chase fished around in his pocket, then pulled out a notepad and a pen. "It's called getting Red to write down his answers. Ever heard the phrase, 'think smarter, not harder'?"
"Ever heard the phrase, 'shut up'?" Elaine said acidly.
Chase shoved the notepad and pen at Red. "Just write, will you?"
Red nodded and furrowed his brow. For several moments he stared blankly down at the piece of paper. Finally, after two minutes of awkward silence had passed, Red brought his pen down on the notepad three times, then passed the notepad back to Chase. Chase read what Red had written, then sweatdropped. Silently, Chase held up the notepad for Elaine to see, and then held it up to the camera.
On the notepad, there were three dots in a row - an ellipsis - and nothing else.
"It looks like Red's taught us all a valuable lesson - if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything!" Trace remarked cheerfully. Chase and Elaine just stared at him, then rolled their eyes in perfect synchronization.
"W-well, thank you for c-c-coming, R-Red," Elaine stammered. She got out of her chair, stood behind Red, and shoved him forward. "It looks like we're out of time. I'm sure that Chase and I will always remember your, um, outspokenness."
Red took the hint and walked away, his head drooping.
"Well, that actually is all the time we have left today," Chase announced. "We'll see you next time on the Morning Show with Chase and Elaine!"
The two kids smiled at the camera as it continued to blink, still recording.
Elaine's smile grew strained and manic, and beads of sweat trickled down her face. She cleared her throat, then coughed loudly. "Ahem. Trace. The camera. Now. Trace! I swear, I'm going to -"
Trace turned the camera off.
