a/n: This is my first fic. This is A LITTLE BIT strange and terrible.
However I think this is funny. In this story, Dumbledore is a
mad and violent guy and some victims exist in story.
In addition there's no normal guy in this story.

The day that sux

At 10 : 00

"Hello! My name is Dumbledore!"

"Hello~!" said Harry.

"How low~!" said Malfoy.

Just as Malfoy said that Dumbledore attacked him.

Malfoy screamed and his body was cut into 1000 pieces.

"If you give a f*** about me, I'll make you like that.

I'm about to display Malfoy and that can be sample."

At 12 : 00

"Ron, what do you think of Dumbledore?"

"Before I came here, everyone said he is one of the

kindest wizard, however despite his reputation he is

really mean. He is even worse than Voldemort."

"I think so. Everyday he kills a student who doesn't obey him."

"Oh, my gosh. We are late for potions!"

"Damn it! Snape will bully us!"

When Ron and Harry reached Snape's dungeon, Snape was hung.

According to Hermione, Snape used Dumbledore's potion without

Dumbledore's permission. And then Dumbledore summoned a gallows

and he hung Snape.

Snape is still vomiting blood and there is a warning sign in front

of him.

'The guy who rescues Snape will regret so much in his grave.

-Dumbledore ^^*-

"Help me. Please rescue me guys~!"

Instead of rescuing him, Ron spits on his head.

01 : 00

"Guys~!! It's lunch time."

"Wow~! It's my favorite jelly!"

Crabbe eats the jelly.

"How dare you eat that. That is mine"

"Who the f*** are you?"

He turned his head back and there was Dumbledore.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

Dumbledore put the imperius curse on Crabbe.

"Raise your fork."

Crabbe did what he said.

"And Raise your knife with your right hand."

Crabbe did what he said.

"Stick your left eye with your fork."

Crabbe did what he said.

"Cut your fingers with your knife one by one."

This continued for 2 hours.

Crabbe's corpse was too bloody and messy to be recognised.

Dumbledore ordered a cleaner to feed Crabbe's corpse to the

three headed dog Fluffy.

However, as soon as Fluffy saw Crabbe's corpse, Fluffy started to

vomit.

04 : 00

"There will be a Quidditch match." said Mcgonagall

"That sounds great."

"So, we will have to add another guy to our team."

"Why?"

"Now Wood is getting detention."

"That doesn't make sense."

"Harry. You know Dumbledore's character. Do you think he'll forgive

the guy who backbited him?"

"Oh, Shut the hell up! Why do you always think in a negative way?"

"I'm sorry, Harry."

"Kneel down and lick my toes. If you don't do that I will kill you."

"Do you think you are strong enough to do that."

Harry struck Mcgonagall's head with his broom strongly enough to

kill her.

"You see! I am."

07 : 00

"Hello, Dumbledore. What are you watching?"

said Cedric.

"Shut the f***ing hell up! The horse that I've gambled for is

losing."

Finally, the horse that Dumbledore bid on made the worst achievement."

"What the f***!"

Dumbledore muttered.

"Where did you get the money to gamble."

"I lost all the money I earned from quidditch match here."

"If so, we will not have more quidditch matches."

"Yes we will."

"How?"

"Because of your life insurance!"

"Damn it!"

Cedric realized what was going on and he ran.

Dumbledore shouted.

"Avada Kedavra!!"

Cedric was dead.

10 minutes an owl from the insurance company brought two bag full of

money.

He planned to spend one bag on quidditch match and he spent another

back on poker and finally he used two bags on poker.

08 : 00

Students found corpses of Cedric and Percy and Dumbledore said

Percy is worth more than Cedric. Percy was dissected and there

was no organ in corpse of Percy.

08 : 20

Dumbledore said he earned money in a LEGAL way although nobody

asked how he earned money.

10 : 00

"It's time to sleep. Guys~!" said Dumbledore.

"Who cares. Shut the hell up!" said Harry.

Dumbledore raised his wand.

"Please calm down. 'Who cares. Shut the hell up' is just the

password for the fat lady."

Dumbledore ripped the painting of the fat lady.

"I'm sorry. Harry."

And Dumbledore left.

"Sorry, fat lady. But what I said was a great excuse.

He didn't know that the password for you was just 'who cares'."

"The end." said the Dumbledore who was pointing his wand at Harry

to put the Imperius curse.

******************

haha..........r/r