Don't Worry Fern, I'll Be Back!

A/N – A short while ago I posted the end of Motsie of Atlantis's story Don't Speak Ill of the Dead. Honus 47 asked me to write an epilog to it but the thought of adding to Motsie's epic story bothered me. So instead I'm writing another story where Deeks finally realizes that Jess Traynor is gone and she wouldn't mind if he found happiness again. He falls in love with Kensi and I, unlike the late Motsie, am a Densi fan, so they will get together.

A secret for you, Deeks is a deeper character than he lets on. Just look into those eyes and let him tell you the things you want to know.

Chapter 1

After the Internal Affairs fiasco, I began to feel the need to distance myself from the Los Angeles Police Department and more pointedly, Lieutenant Bates and his band of detectives. While I feel I'm more cop than agent, the animosity and my own sense of being alone made me want out: out of being a cop, out of being alone on a force of hundreds, out of never knowing who I could trust. The only one I ever did trust, Jess Traynor, was dead. She died at the hands of a dirty cop six years ago and I still feel her loss deeply. There are times when I'm sitting out on my surfboard and I imagine she's there with me and we're talking with one another. I hear her voice in the distance telling me to move on because I'm not a person who should go through life alone. I'm not sure I could move on, you see we'd been an item and a serious one. I thought that no one knew of our relationship when I first worked with NCIS and then I realized that Kensi had picked up on it almost at once. I understand now, that Jess was right. I need to move on and get away from all those negative vibes of the other detectives I work with.

The following Monday I went to work before seven and looked through my bottom drawer for the manila envelope that held the application to become an NCIS agent that Hetty had given me five years ago. It, however, wasn't where I left it.

"Looking for this Mr. Deeks?" Hetty stood at the opening of the bullpen holding the envelope in her small hand making the envelope look even larger.

I'm pretty sure that I flashed her one of my megawatt smiles and I could feel the flush of a blush coming on. She knows all of us so well that I'd bet she knows what we want or need even before we do. I shook my head and wondered how she does that. "Yeah, that's it and it's time."

Hetty brought the envelope and its contents to me. She wore a quizzical look on her face. "What made you decide to make the move at this time, if you don't mind me asking?"

I sat at my desk with the envelope that she'd just handed me and thought briefly about her question. "I'll get back to you on that. Give me a few minutes to look it over, sign it and bring it back to you. Is that all right?" I smiled up at her as she stood trying to decipher the look on my face.

She nodded, strode back to her office and sat at her desk. I could feel her eyes on me and there was a sense that she willed me to sign it, but I wouldn't give in just yet.

I sat there with the application in my hand, staring at it. I really wanted to sign but could still hear the remark 'only a cop' in my head. I know now that it is only a jab at me that my team uses and teases me with but it used to hurt a lot, especially when Sam said it because no matter how he denies it now, he meant it then. It took a lot to finally get him to give me my due, like almost dying to protect his wife, Michelle. But now it's time, so I put my John Hancock on the bottom and take it to Hetty's office.

When I knocked on her pole (she has no door) she offered me a seat and pushed a cup of tea towards me. I have to admit I'm a coffee man but maybe just maybe, it's time for a change there too. I exchanged the application for the cup of tea and sat in the offered chair.

Hetty examined my signature and gave a small sigh. "Well Mr. Deeks, why the sudden change of heart?"

I looked at the little Ninja and then around her office at all the collections she has. They intrigue me and I don't know why, but someday she and I will talk about some of those items. I shrugged and knew that I couldn't keep my reasoning from her. "I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of all the nasty remarks, rude behaviors and the sense of not belonging."

Hetty gave me one of her 'what the hell are you talking about' looks but she pushed on. "You know you get that here as well. Are you signing it to get the team to stop because, if you are, I'm ripping it up?"

I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing. Hetty (She That Knows Everything) got it wrong. She sat across from me with her teacup poised at her lips watching me like I'd lost my mind. I just kept laughing. "No…No…No" I choked out between fits of laughter. I finally stopped laughing and took a sip of tea to calm myself. "I meant those things about LAPD. Here it's fun but at the precinct, it's meant to be cruel and hurtful. I'm tired of working alone and not knowing if I'll come out of it alive, Here I've got back-up and people who care enough about me to tease and harass me. I can depend on these people." I ran my finger around the rim of my teacup and took another sip enjoying the feel of the fine porcelain against my lips. "Hetty, I'd rather you didn't tell anyone about this until I get my spot for FLETC. I want to be that agent that they all want at their backs and I'll be that agent when I return." I drank the rest of her tea and gave it a thumb's up. The cup went back in its pretty saucer and I pushed it back towards her.

I rose from that comfy chair and ambled back to my desk to finish more paperwork.

Hetty reached for the empty cup and saucer as she watched her detective, no her agent, walk back to his desk. She smiled after the young man she'd poached from the 21st precinct. "You already are Mr. Deeks… you already are."

It ended up being a fruitful morning. I did all of my overdue paperwork in the next hour and a half. The next papers were more current things like payroll and my weapon assessment statistics. It's not a shabby morning's work. I usually dread the paperwork but this morning it seemed like good medicine, almost as good as a morning on the waves.

I'd just put the last form in my "out" basket when I heard the front door of the Mission open. I heard the repartee that Callen and Sam call conversation and knew that I'd be on the receiving end of that in just a moment.

Callen turned the corner into the bullpen and stopped in his tracks. "Well, well, well, look who beat us to work this morning." He stopped talking and looked around for my partner. "Where's Kensi, did you two have a fight? They send her back to Afghanistan?"

My head shot up at that. "God I hope not."

Sam turned the corner, sat at his desk and began opening his breakfast. His glance at the detective's out basket gave him an answer but was it the right answer? He, too, wanted in on the fun. "Yeah Deeks, what's up? Are they de-flea-ing your house? Wait I got it, the surf sucked this morning and you decided to show up to work on time for a change and if that's the case your partner is late."

I heard running in the hallway.

"No she's not! It is eight thirty on the dot." She raced around the corner, showing her watch, and turned to face the bullpen, noticing me for the first time. She stopped dead in her tracks. "Why are you here so early?" "She finished coming into the bullpen and noticed that I sat smiling. Later she admitted that she'd never seen me so jovial. They were picking on me like a Thanksgiving turkey and I just smiled right back at them like a child at Christmas.

Sam had already sat down and was eating his breakfast and the others made their way to their desk's, put their coffees down and dropped their bags before sitting, all the while looking over their shoulders at me. Being early one day gets their knickers in a twist. I was having so much fun with this.

Callen sat across from me examining me and my desk. He finally noticed the pile of paperwork stacked neatly in the out box and he gave me his usual smirk. "So you're telling me that the paperwork that has been sitting there for over a month called to you to come and finish it?" He shook his head negatively. "Not buying it." He furrowed his brow and shook his head again. "I got it. Kensi badgered you to come and get it done before Hetty got after you again."

I sat there filling out a new form, one to request time off, and snickered at his curiosity. "Nope, I just needed to get it done." It was time to deflect. I glanced over at my partner and chuckled at her. "How'd your weekend go Kens? Did you get your apartment cleaned and your laundry done? Did you get to Paradise Lost, you know that new techno club? I heard it was a real hopping place Friday."

My boss watched me harass my partner and laughed at her so I next turned my attention to him. "Callen, did you take Joelle to the flea market downtown? She really wanted to go. I think she wanted to look for some lamps for your house."

Sam sat at this desk smirking, enjoying the needling I was giving to G so I gave him a jab too! "Sam did you get up to see Aiden? I remembered you mentioning it last week. How are Michelle and my sweetie, Kamron?"

I needed to make it seem like I was doing my Chatty Kathy routine so I ended with myself. "Monty is just fine. Thank you for asking."

A loud whistle and a sing-songy pirate voice came from above. "Come one, come all! There be a new crime to solve. Shake a leg me heartys!" Eric had outdone himself this time. Thank goodness for Eric.

Hetty came out of her office and glanced our way before she headed up to OPS. I bolted for the stairs after her but could still hear my team mates talking behind me.

The rest of the team just sat there for a second looking to one another for answers as to what had just happened.

Callen spoke first as he stood up. "What the hell was that and who was that in Deek's desk this morning?" The group headed towards the stairs.

Kensi didn't know what to say so she shrugged her answer. She'd never seen Deeks that way before.

Sam just grunted. "Maybe it's Deeks being Deeks?" But he too felt that Deeks hid something from them. Sam wondered what it might be.

Callen shook his head no. He wasn't sure of any of that and he'd find out soon.