A/N: This is an edited version of the first chapter I posted. Don't worry! It still has the same dialogue and storyline but it is more easy to read and hopefully grammar free ;) If you have never read this story before however, enjoy! I also have two other ongoing stories if you like: "Take a Bite Of My Heart Tonight" and "Getting to Know You"
Warning! Swearing, talk of a physical attack.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee or its characters. All property goes to Fox, Ryan Murphy, and the rest of its rightful owners.
Finding Courage
Chapter One: The Attack
I felt like I could throw up. It seemed like my stomach started twisting into knots formed from knots and it just wouldn't stop. I've never felt so sick and worried in my whole life. Today didn't start out that way thought.
Today seemed like an ordinary day; I woke up to a "Good morning baby. I love you!(:" text from Kurt, which made me grin from ear to ear, and then I had school and Warbler practice. Right after Warbler practice, I had just settled into my dorm. I threw my shoes to the other side of the room and lied on the bed.
I swore if I heard "Order, Warblers, order!" from Wes one more time, I am going to shove that gavel down his throat.
Then my cell phone rang.
Out of instinct, I thought it was Kurt. It was a number I didn't have saved.
"Hello?" I answered, expecting to hear Kurt's soft, sweet voice.
Instead it was a rushed, unfamiliar voice: "Hey! Blaine?"
"Um, yes, who is this?"
"Oh sorry! This is Finn. Uh, Kurt's step brother Finn Hudson."
"Oh, hey Finn, What's up?"
"It's Kurt, Blaine! He's in the hospital. Oh god… its bad man. He was attacked tonight and we think he was raped."
That's when it hit me.
It hit me like a ton of bricks. Oh my poor Kurt… Oh god he's so innocent and sweet. Some people may disagree, but to me he is. Who could do this to him? All I heard was 'he's in the hospital' and my shoes we're back on in seconds.
I didn't worry to change or shower. I asked Finn for the address, inputted it in my GPS, and drove at least 10-20 miles over the speed limit. I didn't even listen to music. My head was too busy: Kurt. My Kurt. He's hurt. He's been beat up. He's in the hospital. Kurt. Kurt's in the hospital. He hates hospitals. Oh god what if he's crying for me? Kurt. My Kurt.
I had to fight back the tears numerous times that came to my eyes. I didn't have time to pull over and cry. I needed to see Kurt.
I reached Lima Medical Hospital and parked in the nearest parking space then ran to the ER doors in my Dalton uniform. I scanned the waiting room to look for Kurt's family. I couldn't find Burt or Finn but I saw Carole.
She looked up and saw me. She waved me to where she was and I ran over there. I guess I had too many questions; "Where is he? Is he going to be okay? Is there anything new? What happened?"
"Sh... Blaine honey, slow down. He's getting tests run," she spoke slowly to me.
My eyebrows rose. "What kind of tests?"
"Um… physical tests. They're looking for signs of bruises or bleeding," she replied uncomfortably.
My heart leaped to my throat. What if he was raped? Oh god we haven't even had sex yet. We had just talked about it and said we were ready. God, what if this bastard stole his virginity when we could have been each other's firsts?
I let out a shaky breath before I asked Carole the question that haunted me the most: "What happened to him?"
Carole swallowed thickly and looked at me with pitiful eyes. "He went to the grocery store to get a few items for supper. Next thing we know, we get a phone call from the police saying they got a call from a customer. The customer probably spotted Kurt as they were leaving or going in the store. His…his pants were around his ankles and he had bruises everywhere and one big cut on his stomach."
I felt like throwing up for the second time tonight.
There is no doubt that they raped him. The story tells it all. I'm speechless, what am I supposed to do? My knees started to quiver, and Carole must have noticed because she placed her hands on my shoulders and helped guide me to a chair.
The story terrified me. I don't know what I would have done if that happened to me, being publicly humiliated? Did they rape him in the parking lot of a public grocery store? This alone made me want to….punch…or….kick…something.
I felt nauseous.
Whenever my heart rate slowed down, I looked around the room to see if I could find a doctor, nurse, doctor's assistant…somebody. Other than Carole and me, the emergency room was basically empty except for an old man sleeping with a newspaper on his chest, and a woman in sweats watching some soap opera on the TV.
Then I saw Kurt's dad come around the corner and toward us. "Blaine! Hey buddy! There you are!" Burt said softly, probably noticing the look I had on my face.
"I just told him what happened," Carole informed him.
"Have you seen him?" I asked Burt.
"No Blaine. Still running tests." Burt and I sighed, mine probably sounded whinier though.
Time seemed to pass by like the waiting of death, I think I fell asleep somewhere when I was waiting because I felt something shake me and I sat up hurriedly.
I saw a nurse standing beside Carole and Burt. "He's settled into a room and has woken up from unconsciousness but is now sleeping. He asked us to call a… Blaine Anderson?"
"Oh! I-I'm Blaine! Is this for Kurt?" I asked.
She nodded. "He wanted to see you… all throughout our tests and cleaning for him he kept asking for Blaine. We're sorry we can only let him see one visitor at a time for tonight because he panics and hyperventilates a lot. Would you like to see him first?" My breath caught in my throat. I turned to look at Burt and Carole. I still didn't know where the hell Finn is.
"Go ahead buddy. Tell us how it is," Burt said as he and Carole sat down again. I nodded thankfully and followed the nurse; she seemed to guide me to the back of the ER foyer to a hallway.
"How long can I see him?" I asked her.
"As long as he wants to see you; he is very stubborn so we're not sure," she replied, continuing to walk down the hallway.
I nodded. Yup, that sounds like Kurt. As happy as I was that I got to see him, one questions still scared me.
"What happened with his physical test?" I asked her.
"They came back positive. We're so sorry Blaine. If you could, please don't mention anything about his physical or sexual attack, unless he does. Like I said he hyperventilates a lot."
I just nodded at her as I followed her to an over-night room in the ER.
Positive.
Kurt was raped. My sweet Kurt… That's all I could think of as I walked to his room. I was starting to sweat as she opened the door. I peered in and saw him. He had a bandage across his stomach, bandages on his legs, monitors on his chest, and his face seemed to be covered with bruises. I wanted to cry so badly, but I needed to be strong for him.
"Try to wake him up Blaine, press the button on the side of his bed if he starts to cough up anything or hyperventilates, okay?" I nodded at her and she left.
I slowly walked to his bed after closing the door. He was asleep but his eyes seemed to be in a furrow, like he was worried. "Kurt?" I said softly, careful not to scare him. "Kurt wake up, baby. It's me… Blaine, your boyfriend." He didn't move. "Come on wake up sweetie. I want to talk to you. Wake up Kurt, it's me, Blaine."
Finally his eyebrows twitched and his eyes seemed heavy as they opened slowly. I quietly gasped seeing him wake up. The nurse kind of scared me with all of the talk of him being stubborn and having anxiety attacks. His blue eyes looked into mine and he relaxed. One of them had a black eye, but I didn't look at him differently. It's Kurt, and he's still beautiful to me. "Blaine?" his voice cracked.
"Yeah it's me baby. How are—How are you feeling?" I asked him.
He still stared at me with those gorgeous eyes, they started to swell up. "I'm in so much pain…I-it hurts so bad" he looked away from me, avoiding to look at me.
"I'm so sorry Kurt, I hate to see you in pain, I love you so much….I just I-I love you more than anything. Please don't cry." I tried my best to soothe him. I couldn't even imagine what kind of pain he is going through but I hate seeing him like this; so upset, so broken.
"I'm sorry. Can I have a tissue please?" he asked pitifully.
"Sure! Sure. Anything." I handed him a tissue from a Kleenex box nearby. He began wiping his tears up.
"Who told you?" he asked me.
"Um…Finn. He called me" I told him, wanting to hold his hand so bad, but I didn't want him to freak out.
"I knew you would come. I knew you would help me. He didn't believe me," Kurt said quietly.
"Um… who? Your doctor?" I asked, a little confused. He is speaking like he's deranged or something.
"No… no Blaine…him." And from the emotion from his voice, I knew who he was talking about: the bastard who did this to him. "He just kept…looking at laughing at me as he…" Kurt trailed off and started to break down into cries and my heart broke.
I did not want to hear the details of this story. At least not yet.
"Kurt please don't…" Out of instinct, I placed my thumb on his cheek to wipe away a tear and I hit a bruise.
"Ow!" he screeched.
"I-I'm sorry baby! I didn't—I didn't realize that—" and then I saw a terrifying thing. Kurt started screaming at the top of his lungs and flailing his arms everywhere, almost hitting me in the face.
"Ah! Stop it! Leave me alone! That hurts!" He just started yelling things and becoming out of breath. I immediately hit he button and tried to calm him down but it just made him worse. He grasped his chest and continued yelling.
Then I saw the nurse from earlier come in. "Kurt! Stop it!" she scolded him.
"Ah! Stop hurting me!" he screamed.
"Try to hold him down for me please?" she asked me, a little irritated.
I grabbed his little arms and tried to pin him to the bed. He then twisted his body from side to side and arched his back as his breaching sped up even more. She placed the brown bag over his mouth and talked to him calmly.
"Breathe, Kurt! Calm down… Breathe…In…Out…Listen to me. In and out…slowly…"
His eyes became more relaxed and his chest and stomach movements seemed to slow down but were still jerky. She then grabbed an oxygen mask and placed it on his mouth. I saw his stomach slow down and move normally. She then took it off his face. She looked at him and he looked away and then at me with an apologetic look.
"What happened this time?" she asked me. I was still trying to recover from the scene I just saw.
"I-I touched one of his bruises. I am so sorry. I was just trying to wipe a tear off his face. It won't happen again," I apologized to her in a rush.
"Kurt, look at me" she said sternly as she turned to look at him. He slowly looked at her like he was in trouble. Why is she being so mean to him? "Why wouldn't you listen to me?" she asked him.
Kurt's mouth was open and he began to stutter. "I-I'm sorry I-I couldn't help it. I just-I started to-"
"You started to what?" she interrupted him.
"See him," he replied quietly.
"Does Blaine remind you of…him?"
I realized the doctors and nurses communicated to Kurt, addressing his attacker as him with emphasizing, like Kurt was some sort of special needs kid. I guess they just didn't want him to freak out again.
"No! I don't know why I saw him! Blaine doesn't remind me of him," Kurt said quickly.
"Did he start doing this when you touched him?" she turned back to me
"…yes" I answered, a little scared to reply.
"Just don't touch him please. Especially his bruises. Kurt, next time I tell you to calm down and breathe you need to do that, okay? It will help these problems you're having." Kurt looked at her irritatingly. I could tell he didn't like being treated this way, like he was a freak. "Are you listening Kurt? Try to listen to me or Blaine the next time you see him okay? We're going to help you with your problems."
"How many times do I have to tell you people this? I don't have problems! I almost died okay? I have every right to freak out when someone touches me or scares me! I'm not a freak!" he screamed.
"Lean back Kurt," she told him calmly.
"Quit telling me what to do!" he screamed again.
"Kurt… you need to listen to her, okay? She knows what she's talking about. I know it seems hard for you but please listen to her, for me?" I begged him.
"I don't have problems Blaine," he started to sob. He's starting to scare me, he's acting like he's pregnant.
"His emotions are going to be a little out of control for a while. He's on a lot of pain medicine. Don't worry he's speaking with a psychiatrist tomorrow," the nurse informed me, as if she could read my mind.
"I don't want to talk with a psychiatrist. I'm not crazy," Kurt sobbed.
"I've already talked to your parents about it." The nurse shrugged.
Kurt's cries died down as he glared at her. Okay, I had to admit, this was getting a little creepy. In a few seconds Kurt turned from helplessly sobbing to screaming again.
"I'm not crazy! I'm not talking to a crazy needs person! I'm normal and I want to be treated normally! I'm not talking to anyone like that!" he screamed.
She just looked at me quickly and then at him.
I could tell I am going to be in one hell of a ride with Kurt for a while.
