My first Kick-Ass fanfiction. I wasn't entirely planning on writing one, but I was inspired. Anyway, this takes place about four months after the end of the first movie. Doesn't mean I won't slip in some jokes from the second movie and the comics. I don't believe a disclaimer is actually needed because if I actually owned Kick-Ass, why would I be writing fanfiction instead of making it canon? So please do read and review.

I stood on top of the building, staring down at the streets below. I glanced at the shotgun in my hand and looked down again. I loaded the ammo in the shotgun and looked back down. There were four guys chasing one man down the street. I jumped down to the fire escape and started to run all the way down the stairs to street level. I climbed down the final ladder just in time to cut off the assailants. "Back off!" I shouted. They stopped to look at me and burst out laughing, almost forgetting the guy that was running away. Even he stopped to look and was disappointed. On an outside view, I could see what they were laughing at. I was only thirteen and did not look threatening in the slightest of ways.

"Get lost, kid. The grown ups are working." one of them said. He moved to pass me and I pulled out my shotgun.

"I may be a kid. Doesn't make these guns any less real." They still laughed, acting like I was a cute little five year old threatening a bear.

"You don't have the balls to sho-" He was cut off by a loud bang and the strong feeling of pain in his torso. He fell backwards and clutched his stomach. He looked back at me.

"Beanbag rounds. Not always lethal but they hurt like a son of a bitch, don't they?" I pointed it at the next guy. "So why are you chasing this guy?" The guy I was aiming at, for some reason, got the idea that it would be a good idea to try and tackle me. He ended up also squirming on the ground. "At this rate, I should upgrade these rounds to hurt more." I moved onto the next guy. "So what's your choice?" He was somewhat smarter and ran away. I still shot him but at least I knew that someone was finally understanding the situation. When I aimed at the last one, I saw he had pulled his own revolver and aimed it at me. I sidestepped the path of the bullet at the last minute and shot him where his arm met his shoulder. He dropped his gun and I picked it up.

"What's your problem, kid?!" the second one yelled frantically. I aimed the revolver at him and pulled the hammer back.

"I was just asking you. Why are you chasing him?" I asked again, keeping a bored expression. I had expected stopping four guys to be more of a challenge than this. I took out all of the bullets except for one in the revolver. I spun the cylinder and set it back in.

"None of your business!" the fourth guy shouted. I pointed the gun at him and pulled the trigger. Empty chamber. I put more shells in the shotgun and whacked him with it.

"I wasn't asking you." he aimed the revolver at the second guy again. I still had my shotgun in my hand and had it ready to shoot any of them.

"Same question." he got up and charged at me. I aimed both the shotgun and revolver and pulled both triggers. He ended up on the ground again but only because of the shotgun. The revolver was another empty chamber. "I never miss. You wanna try again?" The third guy finally got up and was trying to run away again. "You're persistent." I shot him with another bean bag and walked up to him. I aimed at him with the revolver and pulled the trigger. At this time, the first guy snuck up behind me. "I don't have time for this so…" I pointed my shotgun behind me without looking and he fell to the ground again. "I'll just leave you for the cops. That guy can fill them in on details." I pulled out some zip cuffs and stuck them all to the nearby light.

"Dude, that was awesome!" the victim said. I smiled at the praise. "You just jumped down and shot these guys!"

"Well I couldn't leave you here knowing what could happen." I told him. "Now I've gotta go." I put away my shotgun and unloaded the revolver before taking it with me. I started to run down the alley and toward the fire escape to get back up to the roof.

"Wait." the guy called after me. "Who are you?" I stopped for a second to look back at him before running up the stairs without uttering a word. The man was disappointed that he didn't know his name before a card fell from the sky. He looked up and couldn't tell where it came from. It read "Top Shot".

(On the roof, Third person)

Top Shot got to the roof and jumped to the next one. He activated his earpiece. "Threat neutralized. Anything else in my area?"

On the other end, someone said "Not that I can see. But Ornitier looks like he might be in trouble. Think you can back him up? It's about six blocks north from where you are now."

"Thanks, Overwatch. On the way." Top Shot said before deactivating his earpiece. He ran to the fire escape and descended as quickly as gravity would allow. He ran to a nearby motorcycle and put the keys in the ignition.

(Six blocks north)

Top Shot slowed down as soon as he saw six men with assault rifles shooting at a dumpster. He took out his desert eagle and shot three of them on the spot in the foot. After those three, the other three turned their attention to him. Top Shot quickly drove behind a wall and waited. Behind the dumpster that they were previously shooting at, another hero, about the same age as Top Shot, in a black mask with yellow eye holes jumped out and punched one of them. He was covered in a large, blue jacket but even that didn't hide the shape of his equipment. It was clear that his punch was electrically charged. After that, he pulled out a mace and bludgeoned the second. By the time the third one turned his attention to him, the man aimed his hand at him and a flame shot out of his sleeve burning him to a crisp. He turned off his flamethrower and looked to Top Shot.

"I had it covered." he said.

"I know, I could tell, Ornitier. Those guys looked like they were about to run." At this time, one of the guys on the ground was about to shoot the guy. Top Shot pulled out another pistol (loaded with rubber bullets) and shot him on the spot. "But I still don't agree with your methods of killing everyone."

"Just as I don't agree with you not killing anyone." Ornitier said. "You only use guns. How can you not kill anyone?"

"It has to do with a psychological thing when using guns." Top Shot answered. "I never miss. One hundred percent accuracy. One thousand shots, two thousand hits easy. But that means if I go for the kill shot, I'll be making the choice to kill people. I decide the fate of people on the spot. And it doesn't make me any better than the guys that I'm hunting down."

"Stop trying to sound like Batman." Ornitier replied.

"You know it's true." Top Shot said. He activated his earpiece again. "Overwatch, Ornitier's all good. Anything else?"

"Yeah. You'll never believe who's down the street from you right now." Overwatch said on the other end. Top Shot looked down every street at the intersection but couldn't find anyone. "Hit-girl. She's on the roof about six buildings South. Scratch that, five buildings. She's heading your way." Top Shot's eyes lit up.

"What's up?" Ornitier asked. "My communicator got broken." He showed his earpiece snapped in two to Top Shot.

"Hit Girl's heading toward us." Top Shot answered.

"No way!" Ornitier shouted. Both him and Top Shot were fans of Hit Girl since they saw her save Kick Ass. About ten seconds later, they both saw Hit Girl jump down and ready to attack both of them.

"Hit Girl, I'm a big fa-" Top Shot started before she tackled him. She pulled out her knife and prepared to stab him. Ornitier used his mace and whipped it around Hit Girl's hand to stop her. Instead, she pulled the mace out of his hand and proceeded. By this time, Top Shot recovered enough to kick Hit Girl off of him. He pulled out his shotgun.

"Chill out, we're on the same side!" Ornitier shouted, getting his electric punch ready. Hit Girl pulled out her own gun and was about to shoot him but Top Shot hit her arm with another beanbag round. She dropped her gun and proceeded to attack with swords. Ornitier punched at her with his electric gauntlets but missed. She cut the cords she could see on his gauntlet and it lost the electric charge. Ornitier used his flamethrower to get her away. Instead she stepped to the side and made her way around him and knocked him out. Top Shot was about to shoot her with his shotgun but she knocked it away and knocked him out too.

(Ten minutes later)

Ornitier woke up and noticed that he and Top Shot were zip cuffed to a light pole. "Hey, Top Shot, wake up!" he shouted. He did his best to shake his teammate awake. Fortunately, he succeeded.

"Five more minutes." he mumbled, before realizing what's going on. "We just got beat up by Hit Girl." He pondered that statement for a minute. "I'm not sure if that's good or bad. On the bright side, we met Hit Girl. But other than that, we got beaten up."

"Forget that, she probably called the cops and we're stuck." Ornitier said, still struggling to get out.

"Don't worry about it. I always have an ace in the hole." He pushed a button on his right shoe and a knife shot out. He took off his shoe and kicked it to his hands.

"Why do you have a retractable knife in your boot?" Ornitier asked.

"In case I need it." Top Shot said as he began cutting through the ropes that bound him.

"Why would you need it?" Top Shot stopped cutting it and looked at Ornitier like he was an idiot. "Forget I asked that." Top Shot continued cutting through the ropes. When he broke through his own, he cut through Ornitier's with ease. He retracted the knife before putting on his shoe again.

"Let's call it a night." Top Shot said before grabbing his weapons and putting them away. He activated his communicator. "Overwatch. We're calling it a night. Is everyone good?"

"Yeah. So how was the beating you took?" he said, laughing slightly. Top Shot thought back to the fight with Hit Girl. It hurt and he still felt the blow to the head, but something was off.

"Hold that thought." He took his earpiece off and looked to Ornitier. "Was it me or did she seem weaker than we thought she would be?"

"What are you talking about?" Ornitier asked, confused. "She knocked us out in less than twenty seconds."

"Yeah but the real Hit Girl could have killed us both in ten." Ornitier thought about it and realized he was right. "Plus, she was kind of tall, at least five foot nine."

"So you're saying it wasn't her?" Ornitier asked, still confused.

"Either it was an impersonator or she had one hell of a growth spurt over the last couple months." He put his earpiece back in and talked to Overwatch.

"We were caught off guard. If we had known it was an impersonator, she would be stuck to a fire escape."

"So you got beaten up by someone that wasn't Hit Girl." Overwatch said. He found some type of joy out of this, clearly.

"Well when you say it like that, we look like idiots."

"That's what I was going for." He laughed a little. "It's times like this that I'm glad I'm just in control of a remote sniper rifle."

"Well if you could see it, why didn't you shoot her?" Top shot was clearly exasperated.

"You looked like you could handle it. And if she was gonna kill you, I would have shot her."

"We were getting assaulted by Hit Girl, what part of it loo-" Overwatch cut him off.

"Hit Girl impersonator." he corrected.

"Whatever. Let's meet up at base. We'll talk about this there."

"Roger that. Over and out." Overwatch said.

"What a crazy night." Ornitier summed up.

"Listen, there's one important thing we have to do when we post this on the internet." Top Shot said. "We can't let on that it wasn't really Hit Girl."

"Why not?" Ornitier asked.

"I'll explain later."

I'm not sure how many people will be reading this but I should mention that if you want to see a hero of your own in this story, please PM me and I'll try to put them in. Send me details about their costume, their weapon of choice, how they act, and of course, their name and I'll see what I can do to put them in.