Steven sat atop the gargantuan statue that was his and the Gems' home. Of course he was alone because he's a depressed puddle of jello. He stared at the pastel sky, thinking about Connie or something stupid like that. Because he was being an emo bitch.
"Oh well" Steven sighed softly, ending his thought aloud like the lil' cunt he is. He angled his head up to take in the sky before he went cry himself to sleep or jack off; probably both. However a glint in the cloudy eve sky caught his eye (i should be a poet) and Steven began to wonder what it might be. His thoughts trailed him to it being a shooting star, as it was moving rapidly, however its movement was more vertical, as in this object was hurtling straight towards, well, Steven. Now Steven was wondering if it would hit the statue's extended hand, destroying the rigid stone structure along with himself .
"I can only hope" he exhaled, being a little emo baby bitch again. Despite Steven's wishes, the 'star' sped past the hand and slammed into the beach below, and a cloud of sand rose up, like beach city was suddenly Dubai or some shit. Either way this snapped Steven out of his whiney bitch mood and he jumped up, then did his gay bubble shit to float down to the beach. He couldn't believe the sight.
"Is this more Gem technology?" He rasped, his voice still shaky from him crying like a bitch for the last 2 hours or something. His red eyes became more red because apparently Steven doesn't fucking understand sand particles floating in the air get in your goddamn eyes so he started screaming and whining enough that the goddamn bird woke up from her power nap. Pearl kicked open the mesh porch door so hard she broke the hinges and i just flew off onto the beach like "fwoosh!" Just really fast and if this were some cop movie it would be a really awesome scene like goddamn.
"STEVEN QUIT MAKING SO MUCH GODDAMN NOISE OR I WILL GO GET GREGS BELT AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD." Pearl politely inquired, hoping for steven to shut the fuck up.
"Sorry Pearl, I didn't mean to wake you" Steven groveled, trying not to cry or let his voice falter.
"WELL YOU BETTER KEEP IT DOWN YOU USELESS GARBAGE." She calmly stated as she slammed the now no longer existent door. Steven sighed in relief that he had spare himself from another round of lashings.
He turned his attention back towards the strange thing on the ground that appeared to be... a ship perhaps? Steven honestly didn't know. What he did know is that something green was now crawling out of the ship. All it really looked like from this distance was a pickle inside a gum wrapper; just why the fuck. Steven was hesitant but began to approach, cautiously. The pickle turned out to be something much more vile and full of more hatred towards humanity than any ordinary pickled cucumber. It was some gross green flesh bag dragging itself from the wreckage with gross as fuck toothpick arms; how the fuck can you move with goddamn toothpick limbs? Anywho this little green pickle bitch was moaning like a baby "oohhhohh I'll get that fucker for this..." on and on with this shit goddamn we get it shut up. Steven really did not want to touch it. But because he was always 'nice' he was morally obligated to help; even if it was a goddamn living pickle.
"Hello? Are you okay?" He called out from like 20 feet away; he didn't want to touch this fucking pickle beast.
"Uhhhweahhhohh..." completely incomprehensible bullshit, can you believe this fucking douchebag? Steven extends his love and compassion on the tip of a moral 20ft stick and this pickle can't even muster a response? What a fucking cunt. Steven still felt like trying to get through to the salty pickle man.
"I'm Steven, what's your name? Do you need help?" This was all Steven could do now. The pickle didn't move. No sound either. Steven listen for breathing to see if this asshole was even alive still. To his disappointment he was. Steven flipped the pickle over and it uttered something Steven almost didn't catch it:
"Z-z-im..." the pickle gasped, before fading back into unconsciousness.
