A/N Hello lovely readers! Look at me, a brand new story! It's been a while since I've posted anything but I thought I'd start this story! Make sure to let me know what you think...

ME4427

Ps. This story has NOTHING to do with ANY of my other stories just to make that clear! Enjoy...(I hope)


1. Leaving the Nest

I woke up to the light streaming in through my bedroom window just as it always did and I couldn't help but sigh as I thought of such a small tradition of my daily life ending. That's what today was, an ending of tradition but a start of something new, something different, something wonderful. Independence was mine from that day on and though I'd still have those figures above me to respect and keep me in control, I was still as free as the mockingjays that could sweep their wings and fly amongst other strange birds above the demands of the world. I would be free to be me. Or at least I hoped I would be. With all my heart I hoped that District 14 would be different for me, for everyone, where there wouldn't be judgement in eyes and there wouldn't be ridicule on lips. But this, like my last, was a school and what is a school without bullies and opinionated teenagers?

Drawing back the curtains, I allowed the sunlight to consume me as it illuminated my whole room and basked my things in a warm, nurturing glow. I opened my window, as I did every morning, and pulled myself up to the windowsill before climbing out onto the roof perched outside my window. My mother would clearly disapprove if she knew I was out here every morning though we both know I've done far more dangerous things than this. There are some mornings I had to hide from her watchful gaze as she tended to her primroses in the garden with the help of my father who'd always manage to catch my eye. Considering she's a hunter, she's not the best at noticing things but my father is. We always make eye contact and he smiles his warmest smile before giving me a wink and carrying on with his business rather than sticking his nose in mine. A bird flapped its wings and landed gracefully beside me on the ledge but as soon as it spotted our cat, Spring, in the garden it flapped its wings and took flight. Then I saw those silky oat coloured curtains pull back and a familiar face behind them with his gorgeous smile smiling just for me. My heart fluttered as his eyes locked with mine and that smile grew, and grew, and grew until it was as big as mine. He's the reason that I sat out there every day because, from there, I could see him and him me. He moved to open his window and he went out and sat on the roof there so the two of us were like a mirror, two of the same. I opened my notebook and scribbled down my words large enough for him to see:

Todays the day I go…

His smile faded a bit but not enough to be gone. He opened his own notebook and carefully wrote a response for me with his face scrunched up in concentration. The page was held up for me to see:

I'll miss you Thorn

Deep down, I hoped that that was true; I hoped he'd miss me as much as I would him. I'd miss everything about him like the way he smiles at me, or the way he laughs, or the way he's just there when I want him to be, or the way that he just knows me like no one else. I'd miss the days we spent in the woods just wandering until our feet ached and blistered, and our brows were sweaty, and our palms were clammy, and our lips hurt from smiling too long. My lips often hurt from smiling too long when I was with him too long, but my heart hurt when I was away from him for too long, so I wondered how I would possibly survive until the holidays without a single glimpse of him. That's my very own idea of hell there.

When I looked back up and I met his eyes, I saw that he had written something else on that worn-out notebook of his:

Come to our spot and I can give you a real goodbye

Faster than should be possible, I leapt up and scrambled through my window and down the stairs with a quick "I'll be right back" to my mother in the kitchen. My hands grasped onto my green hunting coat and my feet slipped into the shoes already lined up by my front door. I practically sprinted through town and towards the woods yet he still beat me to it. There he stood, his scruffy brown hair blowing in the wind and his talented hands stuffed into his baggy jeans. His green t-shirt was already crinkled and stained just as it should be by ten in the morning. But what got me as it always did was that beautifully warm face with his smile and his loving brown eyes the colour of bark.

"God Thorn you took bloody ages!" He joked moving towards me from the fence with the small hole we use to slip into the woods.

"Whatever." I mumbled almost inaudibly. But he just smiled, didn't he? A guy like him with a disaster like me. And then I felt that warm hand in mine and I actually looked up to him and it was like those eyes were even more full of love, but that couldn't be for me, could it?

"I don't want you to go. Please don't leave me. Come on, I'll prove to you why you should stay, yeah?"

"I don't-" But he cut me off before I could finish.

"Come on! We'll remember this for the rest of our lives." He pulled me closer and slipped under the fence with my hand still in his and my heart just flipped and flipped until it was dizzy. I don't think he'd ever held my hand in the five years I'd known him but if that continued then I sure as hell wouldn't be going anywhere. And he was still holding it tightly when we walked across the bruised earth beneath our feet and passed all the looming trees that we could no longer call strangers. The trees were becoming bald and their red, orange, yellow, brown leaves were scattered by our feet on the muddy, homemade path. After a lot of walking we reached the wide expanse of our field and the overgrown grass that lurked there with the odd flowers kept prisoner within the grassy grounds. He slumped down suddenly making me lose my balance and tumble down, causing me to land right on him so we were lying chest-to-chest, nose-to-nose. He smiled in his old ways and the sunlight bathed his pale skin in the centre spotlight. Slowly I became aware of how close we were and I think he did too because of the way his expression changed and the way his arms gently wrapped around my waist as our eyes kept each other. And I thought of him just for the thought of him. In the moment we were ten feet tall watching over the world, the quintessential beings. Those brown orbs of his drew me in until our noses were scrunched up together and I could feel his minty breath on my face and his chubby cheeks smiling against mine. Then I felt his lips against mine and it was strange, very strange, is it supposed to feel strange? I couldn't decide if strange was good but my brain buzzed at one hundred miles per hour with thousands of thoughts of him swirling through me until I was dizzy. But I was all too aware of how we were touching like I couldn't just melt into it how I wanted to. I mean Robin Birch was kissing me and the most I could say was it was pleasant at best.

When he pulled away, he was breathless but I wasn't, so I pretended to be. I could feel his quickened heartbeat against my chest; therefore I pulled away so he wouldn't feel my empty heart. He was so happy that he smiled and I wasn't but I smiled anyway. If anything I was unhappy, very unhappy but not with him, but with myself. Why did I not feel the sparks, the love, and the overwhelming emotions? Why did I not feel anything? He's Robin and I love Robin, but perhaps not in the way I thought I did and not in the way all the other girls in District Twelve do. I wanted to love Robin in that way; maybe this was love though, just maybe. But why break his heart? Why not play along? I left today and by the time I got back he'd have moved on, found someone knew. So I got up, we smiled and we sat hand-in-hand on the grassy fields saying our own special kind of goodbye.

"When you go I don't know what I'll do Thorn."

"You'll be fine. It's me we should worry about! How am I supposed to make a whole new bunch of friends? That is not going to be easy." I said it and we both knew it was true. I was not particularly sociable, quite like my mother Katniss, and worse still people would befriend me but not for me, for my name. Everyone knew the Mellark name. The stories of war and rebellion were told to us as children in school and in our homes, everywhere, and my parents' names always mentioned with it. The tales of the Hunger Games and everything they did turning the word 'Snow' into a foul taste on your tongue, a knife in your heart and a burden on your back. So when it snows every year, tears are shed and memories surface of the man once our leader, our saviour who did nothing but make us cling to life with a withering branch for a hand. And their names are mentioned, their names are praised and I as their daughter along with it. So everyone knows their names, everyone knows mine, and all the other warriors in the war. People know who I am, they want to know me and that's that. How I wish that someone could understand the way I feel, how I feel so empty even with so many envious faces around me, but alas there is no one that can, even my own brother doesn't get it, for he loves the limelight and the adoring faces.

"I'm sure you'll find friends." We shared a look and we both know his words were courteous and false, very false. I appreciated them in any case. Robin stood and pulled me up with him. He led me into the bushy forest that surrounded us and deeper into the concealment of the trees. The sun shone through the gaps in the leaves of the tallest trees and it lit up the path in the lightest, most graceful spotlight you'd have ever seen. He turned back to look at me and offered up another of those smiles he kept close-by at all times. Deeper and deeper we ventured into the forest until we came to the lake that I'd often come for picnics too, whether it was with the family or with Robin. The sun's rays made the lake's surface sparkle and glimmer before our eyes. I took a seat by its edge and slipped my feet out of the canvas shoes I'd shoved on in my hurry out the door, and dipped my toes into the chilling cold of the lake's water. I felt rather than saw Robin sit next to me and do the same. His arm stretched around my shoulders and he pulled me slightly closer to him. The closeness was sort of inviting. I watched my reflection morph and contort beneath me as the gentle winds rippled its surface making me appear to be some sort of odd looking alien figure. And yet even as an odd alien figure, Robin still looked like utter perfection.

We sat like that wishing our silent farewells for what must have been an hour. The silence was comforting to us and we didn't need to talk, just think and I knew he could hear all the things I wanted to say. For once however, I was having trouble hearing what he was thinking to me. It didn't matter to me though.

"I guess you'll have to go soon. Yesterday your mum said you leave at twelve and that if I didn't get you back in time, she'd put an arrow through my head."

"That sounds about right." I laughed at his nervous expression.

Slowly we made our way back through the forest and to the fence. Just as I was about to slip back under the fence, I felt a hand in mine tugging me back. He spun me round so we were chest-to-chest and I couldn't help feel dizzy as his breath mingled with mine. The world slowed down and all I could do was stare at his beautiful face. Maybe some people didn't see the beauty in chubby cheeks, messy hair and stained clothes, but I could. And apparently the rest of the district could too.

"There's a lot I can't do when we get back there. Your parents are pretty scary when they want to be. So I figure we should say our proper goodbye now…" His voice was a whisper as he leaned in closer and closer until our lips were mere inches apart. "And if your heart tells you to do something, who are you to question it?" And the gap closed.

Kissing him this time was different. I don't know what made the second time different to me but it did. My mind wasn't as scrambled and I could focus on him and what we were doing. The way his lips moved with me, and the roughness of them. They were very rough and chapped but I didn't mind. In fact, I liked the manliness of it. And the way his body was pressed so tightly to mine it was like we were joined together, our lungs stitched together to form a heart. It was still weird but a good weird, pleasant, nice, comforting. But then he pulled away from me. It wasn't a loss but it wasn't as nice as the kiss had been. Again he was breathing heavily and he was overwhelmed. Perhaps kissing Robin would get better the more we did it. Perhaps we'd get more comfortable with each other. But that would all have to wait until I got back from school in District 14. Of all the times for this to happen, our relationship to finally develop, it happens when I'm leaving him.

He slipped under the fence and I followed carefully. We wandered through town towards the Victor's Village, which I call home, in a comfortable silence and without any sort of contact like handholding and that was just fine by me. People watched us walk as they always did and the normality of the moment seeped into my bones as I thought of how normality would turn on its head for me. Everything that was normal and daily for me would no longer be. It felt like the air was being torn from my lungs and my heart ripped away from my soul. But perhaps that's what it's supposed to feel like. As my father always said, "every opportunity not taken is an opportunity wasted" but he talked like that a lot, always speeches about how precious time is and how you just never waste it. Past Uncle Haymitch's home, we walked until we finally reached my house where Robin (reluctantly) and I entered and wished everyone a good morning.

My brother sat at the kitchen table and when we entered he didn't even look up from whatever it was he was doing that he deemed more important than I. Peering over his shoulder nosily, I saw the thing that captivated him and severely gripped his attention: his artwork. Like my father Peeta, my brother was a very talented artist (which he didn't ever fail to remind us all) and so he tended to devote a large proportion of his time towards this 'talent' of his. He would always make sure to complete artwork right under our noses so we would all remember how fabulous he was! He looked up to catch my prying eyes.

"Admiring the artwork are we?" He said in that tone I detested oh so much.

"No not at all Payton." I turn away from him with my best 'I'm not interested' look. My mother turns round at my comment and her eyes catch sight of Robin's decaying form shrinking into the floorboards next to me. She gives him that look that I can't quite describe.

"I'm glad to see you brought her back on time. Here I was convinced you might try and make her miss her train. I suppose you're owed an apology." She paused, "it doesn't mean that you're getting one though."

"I can get home by myself mom." I pointed out but either she didn't hear, or more likely she ignored my comment.

"Tell me Robin, who is it you plan on bothering when my daughter leaves?"

"Well Mrs Mellark," As he would never be permitted to call her Katniss, "I still plan on visiting. I don't know how I'd survive without your angry glare and spiteful words."

She put down the dish she was washing and moved over to us, dangerously close. That look was back again but fiercer. My mother did not enjoy being spoken to like that and she didn't like being spoken to by Robin anyway. There was a silent hatred between them which I thought I would truly never understand.

"Perhaps I should be going." Robin said giving me a perfect smile from his collection. My mother only sneered at the look her gave me but my heart drowned her critical sounds out.

"Perhaps you should Robin." My father's voice echoed through the large room as he entered through the doorway. His blonde hair had white tips from the flour he must have been using at the bakery. He told me he'd cut his shift today short so he would be here to say goodbye. I truly loved my father for things like that. I had no doubt in my mind that he'd heard the hushed conversation between my parents.

Robin turned to me but his smile had become sickly sweet on his rough lips. "I can't believe your leaving. I'll miss you so much Thorn! If only you didn't have to go…" His tone was false and I wondered if his words were too. This was just a show for my parents. His voice went smaller but still perfectly audible just as he wanted. "I hope you don't forget everything we did out there in the forest Thorn. Those are memories to last a life time babe. It was the first of many times Thorn."

His words implied a lot, were very suggestive and they left me with my mouth gaping wide which probably didn't help. My family's attention was on me as he whispered "it had to be done" in my ear before ambling out of my house. And I know why he did it. He thought it'd be funny and a good way to wind-up my mother but all it did was land us both in bother. How could he suggest things like that? I know why he did it but I was still furious and very, very embarrassed. The blush on my cheeks probably didn't help anything.

"Thorn what exactly-" My father began but I cut him off.

"Nothing happened. He did that to annoy mum. Honestly I swear. What kind of girl do you think I am?"

"Whatever forget it. I thought you had a train to catch sis."

"Wow Payton way to tell me to get lost! How very polite! You're just sour that you can't come because you're too young wittle brother!" I mocked him and I could see his fury.

"Oh can you not even use proper words Thorn. It's 'little' not 'wittle'. Do you even go to school or do you spend all your time in the woods with Robin fuck-"

"That's quite enough you two!" Mum interrupted him. She went over and smacked him round the head. "And don't use language like that in my house Payton Finnick Mellark."

"Whatever. At least I'm not as easy as her!" He mumbled but mum's hawk hearing picked up every word.

"Payton! Go to your room!"

He glared at me as he passed me. He slammed the door, stomped up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door. What a wonderful goodbye from my dear brother! I turned back to my mother whose expression softened as she put her arm around me and led me to the hall. Dad grabbed my suitcase and we headed out the door with my mother reminding me of all of the important things she wanted me to remember since she was leaving me. It didn't take long before we arrived at the crowded station which usually remained empty but today was full of teenagers with baggage and their moping (or some relieved) parents.

"Haymitch! Haymitch! Over here!"

The blonde haired drunk who lives next door prodded over to us, stumbling on his way. The stale stench of alcohol and cigarettes on his breath was overpowering but I tried to ignore it. His clothes stank to and I wonder when the last time they were washed was. With my knowledge of Haymitch, I presumed it had been a while since they were clean. The bottle of some sort of liquor is clutched tightly in one hand and in the other a small, stained sack.

"Hello sweetheart." He said while grabbing onto my dad's shoulder for support. "Oh my have you seen that!" Both my parent's heads turned to wear he was looking. He took their distraction as opportunity to shove the sack into my hands. I gave him a curious look but he just looked away.

"What is it?"

"I thought I saw some," He burped very loudly, "drink for sale. My mistake."

They dismissed it and turned back to me, both of them oblivious to the new bag in my hands. They fussed over me and only relented when we heard the train arriving into the station. The crowd around us bustled as they pushed forward towards the train. With my ticket in one hand and Haymitch's sack in the other, I was ushered also in the direction of the train. After much pushing, we reached the edge of the tracks where I turned to my parents' tearful expressions but my father was definitely the most emotional one. He always has been. I was drawn into his arms as he silently sobbed into my shoulder since I'd recently been nearing his own height. My mum was next to pull me into an embrace but hers was much shorter than my fathers had been. Silently I wished that my brother had been here because though we fight a lot and he can be very snobbish, he is my baby brother and he's actually one of the nicest people I know.

I picked up my bag and turned to the train. With the crowd, I moved those few feet towards one of the doors on the train and as I stepped up so I was half in the train, I couldn't help but turn back to have one last glance at my parents. My dad's eyes were watery, my mum's were smiling and Haymitch was clearly hungover but I didn't care; he was family too. I made my way to a seat in the nearest carriage and I put my bag above the seats. I sat down without looking at all the people who too would be joining me in District 14 at school, but instead I stared out the window. The train's engine roared and rumbled as it sped up. I waved to my parents out of the station.

Silently, I said my goodbye to my family.

Silently, I said my goodbye to my district.

Silently, I said my goodbye to my home.


A/NSo please let me know what you think! Thanks for reading! :)