When your husband is a surgeon for the U.S army, deployment is a way of life. We had twin toddlers and another baby on the way yet we still hadn't spent more than 12 weeks at a time together throughout our marriage. It is hard to juggle parenting, marriage, and work all at once. Ruby and Remy were the greatest pair of 16 months old ever so that helped out. They both slept through the night by 6 months old and exceeded every milestone so far.
"Mama mo please."
Remy was just like his father: tall as a tree, built solid yet slender, possessed an appetite bigger than Big Ben, and had soft curly ginger locks.
"You like blueberries, huh buddy? They're your daddy's favorite fruit. I like raspberries like Ruby does."
I gave both of them more fruit then heard my phone ring.
"Hello?"
"Hi pretty girl. I sent you and the babies something in the mail. I can't chat too long since work is really busy but I wanted you to check the front porch. I got a delivery notification email."
I briskly walked to the front door of the big house we just had built and opened it. My eyes instantly filled with huge alligator tears. My soldier was standing there holding a bouquet of roses, a pink teddy bear, and a blue teddy bear.
"Oh my god. I can't believe you're home."
"I'm home for good, babe. As of two days ago, I'm officially retired from the United States Army."
He held me close in his big, strong arms for a moment before escorting us inside. The twins were still in their high chairs but as soon as they saw Owen, they were so excited yet still a little apprehensive.
"I have so many questions but those can wait until later. You're home! That's what matters. Are you hungry? We had spaghetti and meatballs for dinner and now we are finishing up some fruit. It's not fancy but it's something."
"Slow down there. Although any meal that isn't from a packet or requires a microwave sounds amazing."
I had butterflies in my stomach along with our third baby that I was 8.5 months along carrying. Once the leftovers were heated up and plated in front of him, I sat down with Ruby in my lap. Neither tots took their eyes off their daddy, instead examining him closely. He had been gone for 10 months with the exception of a week's vacation for their first birthday.
"I know you found out we are having another boy. Did you think of any names?"
"Actually about that... We have 2 names to pick because I found out 2 weeks ago that there is a little girl hiding behind her brother in my belly."
"Holy crap. Another set of twins?"
"We're apparently exceptional at reproducing."
Owen set his fork down after inhaling the spaghetti and looked at me.
"Are you sure we can handle this?"
"What? It's not a choice we have, Owen."
"I'm just saying. We will have 4 kids under two years old. Do you know how many diapers we'll go through?"
"It's a damn good thing we have surgeon salaries then."
"I'm excited, don't get me wrong. You know I love our babies and I love being a dad. I just don't want us to be too overwhelmed."
"Overwhelmed how? You've had little to do with anything except conception for the four of them and the first six months of Ruby and Remy's lives. It's been on me to do the rest."
"That's not fair Amelia. I've been providing for our family. I've been serving our country."
"I know. And I appreciate it. I'm a very proud wife but you talk about these babies like we have a choice. I managed to keep two kids alive for 16 months so what's another two in the mix, especially with your help now that you retired?"
"I just don't want you overwhelmed. It's a lot physically on you, I know this from the first pregnancy. You're the one that nurses them. Of course I've helped where I could with diapers, baths, and bottles but only Remy ever took to bottles and then I was away."
"We will get through it. It's our babies we are talking about. I mean I do plan on getting an IUD after delivering the next two because I'd like to be out of the diaper phase with these four before we even think of a 5th. I'd like to get my body back eventually. I love bonding with the babies while nursing but I'd like to also not be grabbed at constantly. We have a good work family and I'm sure Evelyn will help when she can."
He seemed a bit more comfortable with the idea of another set of twins now.
"My mom does love to watch them. I will support whatever you do. Back to the names, are we sticking with R names?"
"I don't know. I was thinking a different letter. What about H? I was toying with the idea of Hailey and Henry. It would also go with the Y- ending of their older siblings."
"I really like those names actually. Since we have Ruby Kathleen and Remy Alexander, what if we had Hailey Arizona and Henry Jackson Hunt?"
"It's disgusting yet adorable how cheesy we are with naming them yet it's perfect. Kathleen after my favorite sister, Alexander after Karev who was the doctor who delivered them and now Arizona after one of our favorite coworkers and friend and Jackson because he's badass."
"I love it. Are we going to put the little two in their own rooms?"
"We can't have them sharing rooms with Ruby or Remy because we don't need newborn crying to wake them up. I like giving them individuality since they'll be paired from birth. I've been browsing for nursery themes for the two of them but we are running out of time."
Owen smiled as he got Remy out of his high chair. He was skeptical at first but relaxed once he figured out Owen was the same guy in the picture on their soldier stuffed dolls.
"You pick mama bear. Rooms are rooms to me."
"I was hoping you'd say that! If that's the case: unicorns for Hailey and outer space for Henry."
"You already bought the stuff for them, didn't you?"
I couldn't help but blush. He knew me too well.
"I did. Now that you are home though, you can build their furniture and paint their rooms instead of me paying Karev and Avery to in pizza and brownies."
"Pizza and brownies, huh?"
"Yup. Just wait until you see the upstairs. They painted our room a warm tan color since I decided to redecorate. Finally painted the beige walls in the kids' rooms to light green to match with Remy's army room and light yellow to go with Ruby's sunshine room thanks to their help. Arizona helped with the living room and the basement playroom. Did you know Sofia moved back to live with her? I think Callie will end up back on this coast eventually. You should see how brilliant Sofia is. She does dance and soccer. She plays the piano and is a grade ahead of the rest of her age and even with that, she's in advanced classes and maintaining perfect straight A honor roll. I guess having 3 doctors as parents, I mean Mark from above, it gives you that skill and determination to accomplish anything."
I could tell Owen was absorbing every word I spoke like a sponge.
"You've taken a real liking to Sofia it sounds like."
"She's an amazing kid. She spends a lot of time here if Arizona gets called in or whenever Arizona comes to hang out. She loves the babies too and they're equally as obsessed with her."
"I'm glad you've had them to keep you company. I wish it could've been me."
"You're here now and that's what matters."
We cleaned up the dishes together then bathed our red headed babies so that they could get in bed and we could have alone time.
"I made a nice hot bubble bath for you to relax in. I know it'll help your back."
"How did you know?"
"You've told me before on skype and you had bad back pains with the first two."
"You're the best. Will you join me?"
"That sounds great babe."
Owen quickly had his pants off then peeled off his shirt, revealing a black tatto in old English font across his left breast bone.
"What is that?"
"My tattoo? It's your name."
"I can see it's my name but why? I mean it looks great, don't get me wrong, but I didn't see you as someone who would get one."
"I got it whenever I got back to Germany after the kids' birthday. I was really homesick. Pictures weren't cutting it and I wanted you to be with me always."
"You big sap... That's touching, Owen. Thank you."
"No need to thank me. The tattoo was a constant reminder of you obviously and it got me through a lot."
I quickly stripped down and got situated in the bath between Owen's long muscular legs. The water was perfect temperature and it felt amazing to be curled up against my husband's chest. Before I knew it, tears were starting to stream down my face.
"Amelia what's wrong? I thought you liked the bath."
"I do! It's not that at all. They're my hormonal happy tears. I am just so happy you are home now. I was getting worried you'd miss their birth and that I'd have to bring them home on my own."
"Even if I didn't retire, I would've done everything in my power to be here. We don't have to worry about that now because I'm not going anywhere anymore unless it's with you."
"I'm glad you're here. I love you very much."
"I love you too Mia. I still can't believe there was a little girl hiding in there all along."
"My stomach is about the same size as last time. I just thought it was a huge baby. I mean you're a giant compared to me and the twins came out over eight pounds each."
"We make solid babies. They've been very healthy since birth."
"Oh trust me. I had to push them out. I remember clear as day just how healthy they are and I can only assume Hailey and Henry will follow suit."
Owen kissed my temple and I could sense a smile stretching across his face.
"You're the most amazing woman I've ever known."
"You're just saying that."
"No way. It's true! You're so strong and make everything you do look like an art. Those babies of ours love you so much. You've done such a good job raising them."
Blush filled my cheeks again.
"I try very hard every day to be the best mom that I can be. I wish my mom acknowledged my existence. Now that I'm a mother myself, I can't imagine not seeing or talking to my kids daily. They are the first people I want to see each day."
"I wish your mom was more present too. If she hasn't come around after all this time, she probably won't ever. She doesn't deserve to be around you or our family. I don't want her around after all the pain and anguish she caused you."
"I mean I put her through hell when I was growing up... It's not all entirely on her."
"She's your mother though. You've turned your life around entirely. You're an incredibly successful and innovative neurosurgeon, an amazing and dedicated wife, and a hands on nurturing mama. She fails to see the good that has come in your life and doesn't want anything to do with you."
"Owen, I know. Okay? We were having a nice time together and now we are bashing my mom who was a really great mom at some point. Let's drop it."
"She was at some point but not now."
"Drop it, dammit!"
I pulled myself out of the tub and grabbed a towel to wrap around my very pregnant body the best that it would fit. My tank top and pajamas pants were already waiting for me on my side of the bed which I had on in record time. Owen came out shortly after and pulled on a pair of pants himself.
"Amelia, please don't be mad. I don't want you to go to bed mad. It's not good, especially not on my first night home."
"You don't listen! If I say drop it, that means I'm over talking about it. What is between me and my mom is just that. It's our shit to figure out."
"Well 'that shit' affects our whole family. Our kids are missing out on their only other grandparent and I've been there for many tears that your own mother caused you."
"The kids have your mom. She is all they need for a grandparent. The rest doesn't matter. Now please let's drop it and go to bed."
"Fine."
"Fine."
The bed that felt so empty after all this time didn't feel any different because Owen didn't hold me like he normally would. He faced away from me and didn't even say anything. So much for not going to bed mad.
A while had passed and I tried laying there, breathing exercises, and counting sheep. Nothing made me fall asleep. By the tense feeling on the other side of the mattress, he wasn't asleep yet either. I rolled onto my other side which wasn't an easy feat at almost nine months pregnant with twins. Then I gently pulled on him, moving him from his side to his back so I could curl up next to him.
"I know you're frustrated. I was too. I'm sorry. I know you're just trying to protect me, and I love that. I love you. Let's move passed this and not be mad."
"I love you too. I just don't want to see you hurt more over her, that's all."
He kissed my forehead then my lips which was all I needed to know it was all okay.
"Good night Owen. I'm so happy you are home."
"Me too. There's no place I'd rather be."
