Sleep probably wasn't going to come tonight, not that that had been out of the ordinary. He knew there was no chance he would get his heart to slow down in the next few hours. The image of her questioning face after he blurted out the words "not like this". He wouldn't be forgetting that for quite some time. That look though would be second on a list of unforgettable looks to the one he would get later when he stopped her in their hallway.
The moment after he grabbed her arm, all his gumption from Trench-Coat Nick faded away. He tried to recall what drove him to act without thinking, because immediately after, a million things were running through that damn head of his. He wanted nothing more than to show all of his thoughts, fears, and emotions in his actions, but his body failed him, and he froze. Her eyes were questioning why she had been stopped dead in her tracks.
The last conversation popped into his head along with the smug look on Sam's face when he said, "Well, he's missing out."
He couldn't shake the feeling of jealousy when Sam uttered those words. He wanted to at least let Jess know that he knew he was on the outside of something special.
"I have a pretty damn good idea what I'm missing out on," Nick stated in a low, husky voice.
Before he turned to his bedroom, he swore he saw about fifty emotions in those damn eyes of hers. Surprise had to be at the top of her list, but there were plenty of others that made all of his senses go berserk. He always felt there was something more between the two of them, and so much of those feelings were confirmed in her face. The lack of strength from the trench coat made a little easier to turn from her and retreat to his bedroom.
Nope, sleep was a fruitless endeavor tonight.
The days following their brief, one-sided, one-sentence conversation were more within the norm for the loft. Every now and then they would be alone, and Nick wouldn't dare muster up the same bravado from that night. Jess would make certain to catch his eyes though, and he thought he saw a new softness to her look, something that hinted that she fully understood the sentiment of his words. No more verbal communication came of it though, which frankly Nick was ok with. He let his guard down only for a second, and he almost spilled a lot of feelings he would rather deny. Denial seemed to be easier than dealing with any further consequences. Jess was with Sam, and expressing anything further than what he had would result someone's feelings getting hurt. That was fallout that Nick couldn't risk, especially if it would have been Jess that got hurt.
Bury it, squash it, do whatever you had to do. That would be the plan. It really was already the existing plan, but Nick needed to repeat to himself as a reminder. Jess had Sam. Sam could take care of her, make her happy. Jess was happy. That was the bottom-line. That was what mattered.
