A/N – I haven't really written anything in a long time, but I'm procrastinating from studying, and I thought I would give it a shot.

I don't know what this even is, but enjoy.

Disclaimer – I don't own it.

--

He doesn't really ever drink at parties. He fills his plastic red beer cup with water and ends up in the center of the room with everyone who's actually drinking. When they suggest beer pong, he blows it off, saying beer's a sissy drink; he'll stick to his 'vodka'. He's their leader, their hero, a 'champ'.

He's learned how to play drunk so well, it becomes second nature. He moves around a lot – dancing with girls, socializing – anything to get his face a little redder. Then he moves onto the infamous 'Derek Drunk Dance'. It's somehow become the new craze at his school.

Then he moves onto his favourite stage; the conquests. He picks a girl, who is as "drunk" as he is, makes his move, brings her upstairs and magically sobers up as he easily locates the buttons of her shirt, the zipper of her pants and the clasp of her bra.

He likes to be in control. It's an addiction, a drug. He's scared what he might do or say if he takes a swig. Because he knows what he's burying in that treasure box in his brain, and he knows that alcohol is just the key to open it.

He doesn't really ever drink at parties. Except the one time at Ralph's "Summer Extravaganza" – which was clearly not a name coined by Ralph, who keeps calling it an Extravagasm because he thinks it's a term for some sort of group orgy.

Unfortunately for him, Casey shows up, because there are no projects, or midterms, or charities to volunteer for, or babysitting jobs, or Max or Truman to preoccupy her from ruining his life.

So he drinks, and his theory is right. Alcohol is the key, and the lock was about to be opened.

--

The music is pounding, and it's flowing through him. He doesn't remember feeling this good in his life. He can't even remember why he hasn't done this before. He is floating, laughing, seeing things from a new and happier perspective. Every drink makes him feel better, happier, and freer.

And then she sits down with Emily across from him, and he remembers why he doesn't drink. But it's too late, because he's on his 3rd Vodka and Orange Juice, and no one ever told them there were different stages of being drunk. Because all of a sudden he doesn't feel light and happy anymore, he's far past his brilliant buzz and he's onto a dangerous drunk. He feels out of control, his legs are moving towards the couch Casey is on and his mouth is opening to say something, and he doesn't know what he's doing.

Except he does, doesn't he? Because alcohol is just an excuse to say what you're really feeling, and to do what you want to – without consequences. At least, that's what the health teacher at school said. And the moment he wakes up, he can just blame whatever he does in the next minute on being drunk and forget about it.

Except that he lives with the girl he is now draping himself on.

So the next events might be a little hard to forget.

--

He sits right next to her, so close that he could feel her tiny leg and arm hairs start to shoot up. He throws his arm over her shoulder, and leans in. All of his weight is on her, and she feels tense. He puts his face against her neck, and whispers into her ear, "Heyyyy Caseeey."

"Hey Derek, maybe you should cut back on the drinks." She tries to push him off of her, to sit him up straight, "I'll go get you a glass of water."

But he grabs onto her arm, and pulls her back into the position, "Nooo, stay here!"

And suddenly, he finds himself giggling. He puts his face back into her neck, and somewhere between Casey's low grunt and her lecture on overdrinking, he's kissing it. First it's soft kisses on her neck, and she doesn't realize because she's still lecturing him on the effects of alcohol abuse. But he whispers in her ear again, "I wannnnt you soooo bad", and the kisses become harder, and he's moving closer to her face – and there's no more lecture.

"Soooo sooo bad." And he's so close to the target, he's at her cheek – and she's not moving. He's at the corner of her lips – and she's not moving. And then he's there – about to reach his final destination. He's already opened his secret treasure box, so what's the harm in this one action. He'll tell her he was drunk in the morning, or accuse her of lying. Even in his inebriated state he's thinking of ways to embarrass her in the morning, "Case I would never kiss a beastly monster like you.", or even just a harsh laugh.

But for now, in this moment, he could do all the things he really wanted to. He could do the things he thinks about after he sees her in her robe, or when he sneaks a peak of her changing. This time he's Max, or Truman. It's him, and this is his one chance.

And so he's about the move his lips towards hers, and her eyes and soft and almost inviting. And he's so close – when something happens. The bubble in his stomach that he thought was simply the nerve of living out his fantasies was actually a bubble of undereating and overdrinking.

And the bubble chose this moment to come up, all over Casey's chest.

--

And now he hears Sam and Casey's voice, and there jumbling together. Sam is dragging him to Casey's car, and Casey (while toweling herself off) is asking how many drinks Derek has had, and Sam replies with "4 or 5, the usual". But it's not the usual, and that's how good he is at playing drunk, because now that he's actually drunk, no one notices the difference.

The only difference is that Derek can't stand, and is being dragged to his car. But Sam tells Casey that, "it must've been something he ate before hand mixing with the drinks, it happens."

And that's that.

And suddenly, the car is moving, and he feels nauseous, and his mouth tastes like spoiled Orange Juice and pepperoni (courtesy of his leftover pizza breakfast). And he keeps thinking about almost kissing her, and Sam dragging him to the car, and all of his thoughts are spinning.

And then – he wakes up in his bed, covered in blankets.

--

The sun is shining too bright; he covers his head with the blankets.

His head is pounding.

On his bedside table, he notices that there's a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water.

He also notices Casey asleep on the floor. And that must mean something.

And so he decides that maybe, just maybe, he will keep his treasure box open.