Lily didn't expect to wake up that morning to find three missed calls from her mother. She never called her, which is how Lily knew it must have been important. It must have been about her dad. Lily's dad had been ill for a while now, in and out of hospital with lung cancer. Sure Lily had never got on overly well with her father but at the end of the day she still loved him. She just wasn't sure if he loved her.
She ran a hand through her head and nervously dialled her mum's mobile number with shaking hands.
"M...Mum?" She stuttered, as soon as she heard her mum answer the phone. She sounded like she'd been crying. "I...I just woke up. Is everything okay?"
"Oh, Lily," her mum sobbed down the phone to her. "It...It's your father. He's gone. He passed away in the middle of the night. I...I'm so sorry."
Lily's heart began thumping hard inside her chest. Tears filled her eyes and streamed down both sides of her face. She couldn't believe that he'd gone. She was only twenty six and she'd gone and lost one of her parents already. It wasn't meant to happen that young.
"I'll get back to you with the funeral arrangements," her mother cried, in the middle of blowing her nose. "Why don't you take the day off work today, Lily? I...I'm still at the hospital. We're allowed to see him if we want to, it's up to you."
"I...I'd rather not..." Lily cried, feeling sick at the thought of seeing her father lying there completely unconscious. She couldn't do it. "I have to work. I...I'll come and see you once my shift has finished though. Okay?"
"Right," her mum whispered. "Okay baby. I'll see you later."
Lily shakily removed the phone from her ear and hung up. She sniffed and wiped her snotty nose on the back of her hand. After a quick shower, she pulled on a pair of black trousers and a white blouse and neatly curled her hair. Her glasses were sat on her bedside table.
"What's the point anymore?" She whispered to herself and slipped them onto her face, deciding to wear them instead of her contact lenses this time.
She knew that she wouldn't be able to drive with thoughts about her dad running through her mind. There was twenty pounds sitting on the table in the kitchen so she called a taxi to take her to work instead. When she arrived, she kept her head down and got straight to work in resus. She knew that if she talked to anybody, she'd just start crying.
"Lily," Ethan called, making his way into resus. "Mrs Beauchamp asked me to help in here today."
Lily faintly nodded her head, blinking back her tears. "Got it. Um...This is...This is Mr Major, he took a fall down some stairs and has glass embedded in his head. Looks like he could have been hit with a glass or something."
"Okay, let me just have a quick look at that sir," Ethan said. "Have you sent him for a CT scan?"
"Not yet," Lily said. "We may have to remove the glass first. Keep him talking. I need to go and get his notes."
Ethan nodded and Lily took a deep breath before leaving resus to go and get the patient's notes. She wasn't overly focused. She had a headache and her heart was still beating heavily. Her eyes were full of tears and she just kept sniffing, determined not to show her upset to anyone else.
"Doctor Chao," Connie called, beckoning her over. "A word."
"I um...I have to get to resus," Lily said but walked over to her anyway. "I've left Doctor Hardy in there and I need to get a set of notes."
"It'll only take a second," Connie said. "I need all of my doctor's at the top of their game."
"I know," Lily replied quietly and nodded her head.
"Okay," Connie said. "Because I don't think you are at the top of your game today. You arrived today in total silence, got straight to work and I have been watching you look for those notes for the past five minutes. You also look as if you've been crying so come into my office and we'll talk."
Lily sighed and entered Connie's office. Connie followed and shut the door behind her.
"Have you been crying?" She asked, sitting down at her desk, whilst Lily stood in front of her.
"A little," she answered, fiddling anxiously with her glasses. "I um...Just had some bad news, that's all."
"Is it going to affect your work?" Connie asked, but Lily shook her head. "What was the news, Lily?"
"I um...I...I'd rather not say..." Lily stuttered, feeling close to tears.
"I am your boss and I need to know when my staff are upset," Connie told her. "What's happened?"
"My..." Lily began, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "My mother called me this morning to say that my father had died." She paused before continuing. "He's been ill for quite a long time, with cancer."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Connie sympathised. "Lily. I had no idea, why are you at work?"
Lily shrugged her shoulders, her tears falling harder.
"You should have told me that your father was sick," Connie said. "I know how it feels. When my dad was ill, I...I felt so numb inside. It's something you can't help but you wish you could. When did he die?"
"In the middle of the night," Lily cried. "Mum said I should take the day off, she said that I could see him one last time but I...I couldn't. I couldn't bare to see him laying there."
"He isn't suffering anymore though, is he?" Connie mentioned, giving her a small smile. "He's in a better place, Lily. I'm sure your father would have been proud of you. You've achieved a lot; getting a job here, passing your exams, becoming a registrar."
Lily just looked up and made eye contact with Connie. "My father was never proud of me," she said.
"Really?" Connie asked. "I find that hard to believe."
"He wasn't," Lily said and shrugged her shoulders. "I've always wanted to be a doctor. He never praised me when I went to university even though I was the first one in my family to go, he never said well done, he never talked to me about people. I rang him as soon as I'd passed my registrar exams and he yelled at me."
"Yelled at you?" Connie raised an eyebrow.
"He said that I was a failure as a daughter," Lily whispered. "He said that I...I should have gone into the family business like him and my mum or that I should have stuck with wanting a career in dermatology. All I was looking for was one well done and I didn't even get that. Now he...Now he's gone and I'm never going to see him again."
"Go home, Lily," Connie whispered, standing up and walking over to the young woman. "Go home, get some rest, go and see your mother and just spend time being with family and talking about memories of your dad. He might not have said it to you but I'm pretty certain that he was proud of you."
"He wasn't," Lily cried and shook her head. "He wasn't proud of me."
"Hey," Connie soothed in a comforting voice.
She placed a finger under Lily's chin and lifted her face so that she was looking at her. She gently took her hands in hers and gave them a reassuring squeeze. Lily nodded faintly and choked back a sob, hiccupping at every breath she took. Connie gave her a small smile and pulled her in for a hug, rubbing her back and stroking her hair comfortingly.
"I'm proud of you," she said softly, kissing Lily on the top of her head. "Extremely proud."
Just a cute little one-shot on my favourite friendship pairing. It's based on the Autumn trailer that has just been released so that was where I got the idea from. Also get well soon Blue Skies And Ink, I hope you liked the story :)
