Once upon a time Andy's toys were sitting in the toy box. Andy was 15 years old by this time, so he pretty much never played with them anymore, but instead talked to them about his many problems. Andy didn't have any friends, so he treated his toys like they were teenagers like him, calling them "dude" and "sweetie"... the latter of which confused his toys somewhat.
One day, they found out the truth. It was a cold fall evening when Andy and his toys were gathered around a small coffee table, sipping frappuccinos and talking about what happened on last nights Gossip Girls, when all of a sudden Andy leapt to his feet and exclaimed, "I'M GAY, OKAY?" Andy's toys said nothing.
Andy proceeded to slowly sit himself back down, burying his head in his hands. "There, I said it... I've been living a lie! I'm attracted to men! How am I going to tell my mom you guys?" Andy's toys said nothing.
Andy lifted his head, reaching over and pulling Woody's string. "Somebody's poisoned the water hole!" Woody exclaimed. Andy's face lit up. "Oh Woody! I knew you'd understand!" He embraced his doll, kissing him on the forehead. Andy turned and glowered at Mr. Potato Head. "I KNOW you're homophobic, stop reminding me." he hissed, a single tear flowing down his cheek. "YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND ME!" He quickly picked up his frap cup and chucked it at Mr. Potato Head, causing him to crash to the ground. Andy smiled down at his favorite cowboy doll once more, putting a hand to his cheek. "You always know what to say, Woody. Thanks. You're a true friend." he swiftly gave him a peck on the cheek before setting Woody back down at the table. He walked over to the bed and grabbed his man bag, stuffing a few Cosmo Girl and Vogue magazines into it before striding out the door. Silence enveloped the room.
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
When the road looks rough ahead and you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed,
You just remember what your ol' pal said, boy,
You've got a friend in me
To be continued...
DISCLAIMER:
I don't hate gays or Toy Story. I don't own them either. This was just for FUNNNN and if you take it seriously, please pull out that stick lodged up your butt. Thank you! n_n
PLOT POINTS! :D
Andy is gay
Bo Peep can't have kids
Woody wants kids, but doesn't realize toys can't reproduce
Jessie is in a coma
Buzz's fault, now he's majorly depressed and emo
Mr. Potato Head suspects his wife might be having an affair with Hamm
Rex struggles with a split personality disorder
Slinky has anger management issues; Little Green Men are afraid of him after he attempted to eat one of them
Bullseye is just there
