This is based on last Saturdays' episode - how could I resist writing about sad Ethan and caring Cal? I hope you enjoy it.
Cal changed out of his scrubs and walked out to reception, where he found Lofty, Max and Robyn. "All ready for the pub then?" he asked as he slung an arm around each of the men.
Max just grunted, which was often the only response any of them got out of Max these days, but Lofty and Robyn looked startled.
"You're coming to the pub, Cal?" said Lofty.
"Of course I'm coming to the pub!" said Cal, confused. "When do I ever not go to the pub?"
Lofty exchanged a glance with Robyn. "I just thought, you know, with Ethan and everything…"
"What about Ethan?" said Cal a bit crossly, but then he saw their faces. "Did he have a bad shift?"
"Oh my God: didn't you hear?" said Robyn. "It's all over the hospital!"
"Robyn!" hissed Lofty, putting his hand over her mouth and casting a nervous look towards the reception desk. "Noel might hear."
"Oh right. Yes," said Robyn.
"Will you three just tell me what's going on?" almost shouted Cal.
Max jerked his head in the direction of the doors. "Come outside."
Even more worried now, Cal followed them. "What's happened? What's wrong with Ethan?"
"Honey broke up with him!" said Robyn, unable to keep the words inside her any longer, though she did at least look sad and worried. "There was this big scene in reception with Noel calling Ethan his future son-in-law and then Honey showed up and told Noel they'd split up."
"Oh God." Cal could imagine how that must have felt. Having your heart broken was bad enough, but in public was worse and Ethan hated any kind of public scene, even a happy one.
"So yeah… we thought maybe you'd give the pub a miss tonight," said Lofty. "But if you think Ethan would want a bit of space…"
Cal thought that Ethan probably would want space. He didn't like to show emotion and Cal knew he must be feeling very emotional at the moment.
But wanting to be alone and needing to be alone weren't always the same thing and Cal wasn't going to leave his little brother alone when his heart was breaking. "Thanks for letting me know. I'm going to head off home. I'll see you tomorrow."
"I hope Ethan's okay," offered Lofty.
"Thanks," said Cal. "Me too."
"Give him a big hug from me!" said Robyn.
Cal gave a small smile and decided to do nothing of the kind.
"Just…. just be there for him, yeah?" said Max awkwardly, without looking at Cal. "Even if he doesn't want to talk about it, just be there."
There was no sign of Ethan when Cal arrived home. His car was outside so Cal thought he was probably at home, but he must have gone to his room. Cal's heart twisted as he thought of the pain Ethan must be experiencing – he'd gone through it himself, after all – but he didn't go to Ethan's room straight away. He got his laptop and went online. Once he'd found what he wanted, he left it to download and went to the kitchen to cook one of Ethan's favourite meals. He knew Ethan wouldn't be hungry, but he needed to eat.
Once the food was ready, Cal went to Ethan's room and tapped on the door. There was no response, but this didn't deter Cal. "Ethan, dinner's ready."
There was a silence, then Ethan answered the door. He looked like he'd had a bad shock, but there were no signs of tears. Cal put his hand on Ethan's shoulder and squeezed it lightly. "You okay, bro?"
"Never better," said Ethan – a standard Ethan response that he usually only used when something was badly wrong.
"I heard about Honey," said Cal awkwardly. "I'm sorry."
"It was for the best," said Ethan with a false brightness. "We didn't have anything in common."
Cal slid his hand from Ethan's shoulder to his back and stroked it gently. "I don't suppose you're hungry, but I've made you some dinner."
"Actually, I'm ravenous," said Ethan unconvincingly. He walked ahead of Cal to the dining table and sat down, looking at his plate with a marked lack of enthusiasm.
"Enjoy," said Cal awkwardly.
He knew Ethan wouldn't.
"I'm sorry," said Ethan. "I suppose I'm not very hungry after all."
"That's okay," said Cal. He took Ethan's almost full plate away. "It didn't taste that good anyway."
"No, it was nice," said Ethan in a sad little voice. "Thank you, Cal."
Cal ruffled his hair, a lump in his throat as he silently wished he could do more. "That's okay, Nibbles." He put Ethan's plate in the fridge and returned to his brother. "I thought we could watch a film".
Ethan looked at him for a moment but shook his head. "I think I might get an early night."
"No, that's the worst thing you can do," said Cal. "You won't be able to sleep, not with all this whirling around in your head. Believe me, I know. Come on. Let's watch this film. I downloaded it for you especially."
"What is it?" Ethan asked without interest as he followed Cal to the sofa.
"The Bicycle Thieves," said Cal. "I've never heard of it, but it's top of the list of the 15 Greatest Foreign Films on Netflix."
Ethan looked startled. This look was quickly replaced by pain, but only for a second. Ethan reached out and touched Cal's arm. "Thank you. I hope you won't be too bored."
"Of course I'm not going to be bored," said Cal firmly. "I'm going to love it."
Cal didn't love it. It was one of the most boring films he'd ever seen, but he stared at the screen resolutely and thought about women. He'd got himself into quite a nice daydream involving Connie, Lily and a tub of clotted cream when he heard Ethan sniff.
He turned his head to see tears on Ethan's cheeks.
"Ethan…" Cal paused the film and put his arm around him. Ethan was tense at first, but then he relaxed into Cal's embrace.
"I'm sorry, Cal," he said. "But this was the first film I ever watched with Honey."
Cal mentally called himself all sorts of names. "I'm sorry, Ethan. I'll switch it off. We don't have to watch it."
"No, it's okay," sniffed Ethan. "I'm just going to get a tissue."
"No need. I've got some here." Cal pulled several out of his pocket and gave one to Ethan. "I thought, um… I thought the film might have a sad ending."
"Thanks." Ethan took his glasses off and balanced them on his knee.
Cal immediately snatched them up. "I'll hold them for you." He put his arm around Ethan and rubbed his back gently while Ethan tried to compose himself, but every time Ethan wiped his tears away, more replaced them. His breath was coming in little hiccupping gasps that made Cal's eyes sting in sympathy. He could tell Ethan was trying his hardest to fight back a tidal wave of emotion, but the gasps became louder and more frequent and even more like sobs and the tears fell faster than Ethan could wipe them away.
Cal tried to guide Ethan's head onto his shoulder, but Ethan resisted at first, desperately fighting for control. But then he quite suddenly gave up, burying his face in Cal's shoulder and sobbing out his anguish and pain. His arms wrapped themselves around Cal's neck and he held on tightly as though he were drowning and only Cal could save him.
"Oh, Ethan," said Cal, half-blinded by tears of his own, though he refused to let them fall. "Oh, Nibbles."
"Tea?" said Cal, when Ethan had finally reached something approaching calm.
Ethan shook his head, which was still resting against Cal's shoulder. "Tea reminds me of… of…"
Cal stroked his hair. "Ethan, you can't avoid tea forever. It's much better if you drink lots of it. Then it'll stop reminding you because it'll just be tea again."
Ethan looked like he had no strength for arguing. "Did you throw away my dinner?"
"No, I put it in the fridge," said Cal. "Do you want me to get it for you?"
"Please," said Ethan. "I'm not really hungry, but I suppose I'd better eat. Even if it tastes like cardboard."
Cal laughed. "Thanks a lot!"
Ethan looked guilty. "I'm sorry, Cal. I didn't mean it. Everything seems to taste of cardboard now."
"It's okay, Ethan. I've been there. Everything tasted like cardboard for me too." Cal held Ethan close to him for a moment and then went to the kitchen. He was terrified of what kind of mess Ethan might be in when he came back, but when Cal approached the sofa, a mug in one hand and Ethan's dinner in the other, Ethan looked sad but dry-eyed. "Here you are, Nibbles."
"Thanks," said Ethan hoarsely. "Sorry for crying."
"Don't be sorry," said Cal. "Just cry all you need to; whenever you need to. It's not like I've never cried all over you."
The film ended. Cal stifled a yawn and turned to smile at Ethan. "That was great! I really enjoyed it."
"That's what Honey said," said Ethan.
Cal closed his eyes. "Maybe I should just give up speaking? I seem to be saying all the wrong things."
"No. You've been great, Cal. I know I'm terrible company, but I do appreciate it."
Cal put his arm around him. "You're not terrible company. You're much better company than Max is at the moment and at least with you, I'm not going to end up with a hangover."
Ethan forced his lips into something like a smile, but then he sighed. "I really thought she liked me."
"I'm sure she did," said Cal. "Just because a relationship ends, it doesn't mean it shouldn't have happened. It doesn't change all the happy moments; the good things she gave you. But I know what it's like. It's the worst feeling in the world and it does make you wonder if you'll ever recover; if the pain will ever go away; if she'll ever stop coming into your mind at the most unexpected moments and making you feel the world falling apart all over again." He lifted Ethan's chin and looked into his eyes. "But you will recover, Ethan. I know you will. You're very strong and you've dealt with so much already. You can deal with this too."
Ethan looked sadly at Cal. "When does it stop hurting?" he asked with a quiver in his voice.
Cal stroked his shoulder. "I wish I could tell you, but the truth is: you can't put a time limit on it. It takes as long as it takes. But there is one thing I can tell you, Nibbles. You're not on your own. However long it takes, I'll be here."
