This is kind of a reply-fiction to My Messed Up Life by meh awesome buddeh, Memoranda.
She's awesome, and if you haven't read her fic, go now, or I'll sick France on you.
This is the new character, Lauren's, back-story/past/general reason why she was there.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters below, or anything you recognize.
INFO: This is partially based on a suicidal dream/nightmare thing I had on the 12th, up until she's in the new world…so, yeah.
From then on out it's from my weird, slightly dark, possibly bipolar mind.
Enjoy~!
PS: My foreign languages probably suck, since I'm using Google Translate™ to write them…C'mon, I've just started learning Japanese! D:
/But why's the rum gone? D:\\
Lauren sat on her bed, drawing a picture.
It was a beautiful ball-gown design.
It was a delicate, pale yellow, and if real, would ever-so-softly brush the floor.
It was simple, yet so complicated…
The brunette girl sighed.
She drew it for her sister.
It was the day of February the 12th, the day Jenny died, in a fatal car crash…
To heck with automobiles, Lauren thought.
She got online and watched a Youtube tribute someone'd made for her sister.
Then she checked her email, and saw that a fanfiction friend had left her a message…
She read that, and it was another psychological question.
She told everyone that she loved to listen to people and help them through things, like a psychologist of sorts…
But no one knew her internal trauma.
She was the therapist in need of therapy, as it were, and only put up a happy front for the people she cared about.
Her friends and family, even people she'd only talked to once or twice—they all thought her a bubbly, happy, sometimes sarcastic and extremely random girl.
No.
She was not happy.
She was a mess.
She was broken…
She considered cutting herself, but decided not to.
She knew that it would only hurt her more in the long run…
She was always an impatient person.
Her mind finally screamed at her to do something, instead of sitting there and weeping all the time.
She didn't cry, actually—more like teared up every now and then…but still.
She decided, on that evening…
She would take her own life.
Lauren tensed, and began typing out her suicide message.
She decided to write it as a poem…
Dear God, take me away.
Whisk me to Heaven, that's what I pray.
Save my soul from Hell so hot,
Should I go? I'd rather not.
Dear Tenshi, I'll miss you.
Thanks for trying.
I know you'll read this, please stop your crying.
I hope that you and Isaac achieve
That happy ending that you so dearly believe
That you'll get, I believe in it, too.
I promise I'll watch him
And make sure he doesn't hurt you.
Dear Ben, you're weird.
I just wanted to say.
Promise you'll be good while I'm away.
It's only for a while, but not just for today.
You can have anything of mine that you care
Think of it like this, I'll always be there
To give you some guidance, even if I can't give you hugs
Remember, be nice, and don't eat any bugs.
Dear Rosie, don't cry, cuz I know you will.
Know that I'm happy, even if I'm still
Like a statue, or barely breathing
Calm Robby down please, he's gonna be seething
When he finds that I've taken my life.
Dear Mem-chan, I know that when you read this, you'll be mad.
Or perhaps, you'll be jealous, or maybe just sad?
I know I'm a hypocrite, now, it's true
After all the support I offered to you.
Please stay strong, don't pull out that knife.
Because someday, you'll be glad, living a happy life.
Dear Shizuka, remember to stay strong!
I know it'll be tough, but it won't be long
Before I see you again, in Heaven someday.
I know you all tried so hard to cheer me up,
But now my poem's done.
Yes, I know that doesn't rhyme, I just said that my poem's over.
Get it?
Okay, so I decided that I'm gonna die.
That's right, by the time you've read this, I'll have probably already moved on.
Surprised? Yeah, I thought so.
I know it kind of seemed like I was such a cheerful person, and that's how I want you to remember me.
I'm really going to miss all of you, and I know it's selfish to have died, but I couldn't take this world anymore.
So….that's pretty much it.
Log on to my Fanfiction account and say goodbye to my friends for me, or better yet, post this as a story.
See you all in Heaven.
Love,
Lauren
She had no idea that up until this point, she was in tears.
She went and found the katana her friend had given her on her birthday.
The black sheath was so beautiful…Lauren would miss it.
She'd recently sharpened the blade, planning on using it on thieves or some sort of criminal… she never planned on using it on herself.
She shakily brought the blade to her neck, and in one fluid motion, slit her own throat, before she could change her mind.
It hurt…
It hurt so bad.
She tried to scream, realizing just how stupid it was to do that, but to no avail—she'd cut through her voicebox.
Within a few seconds, everything went black…she felt so tired….
She'd just rest for a minute, then she'd go and tell her mother about this crazy thing.
Her mom would take her to the hospital and she'd be okay…so she closed her eyes.
And never opened them again…
In that world.
XxXxXx Lauren POV XxXxXx
I felt cold.
No…I felt cold on the outside.
My skin was chilled.
My heart was racing, and my neck hurt; it burned, white-hot.
I unsteadily inched my hand to touch my neck…
When I pulled it back, I felt something cold, but sticky…
I opened my eyes as much as I could—which mean mere, chocolate-colored slits—and saw the crimson liquid I feared on my fingertips.
I also saw an abundance of snow…hmm.
How interesting…
I lay for a moment, before reaching slowly into my pocket and pulling a packet of Kleenex out, taking several and placing them on my wound.
For now, I would at least try to stop the bleeding…but I'll forever have that scar.
After a minute, the bleeding lessened—I knew it, I felt less cold—and as the wound closed, I reached inside my pocket again—yes, my candle matches!
I know how stupid this self-healing is, but I had to try and cauterize the slit, or it'd just open again…
I lit one of the small matches, and cautiously held it to my neck, flinching violently at the burn.
It was working…
When I'd closed the wound so riskily, I stood up.
My hair was tangled, now, because of the snow that I'd laid in just moments ago.
I took a step, and nearly fell over again, but kept going.
My chocolate eyes saw color in just about everything—I had a new appreciation for life.
I passed a piano shop, and smiled, remembering a character from an anime I loved so very much.
After a bit of walking, I stopped at a small shop and bought a sunflower-yellow scarf—thank goodness I'd had a few dollars in her pocket, and again, thank goodness the shop owners took American currency…
And thank goodness once more, that I speak German.
"Wo bin ich?" I asked the cashier, a woman with dark brown hair and black eyes. {Where am I?}
"Wien, Osterreich." The cashier responded dully, handing me the scarf. {Vienna, Austria.}
I froze.
Vienna, Austria…no—way…
Does that mean that…I'm in some sort of different time period…?
"Danke!" I called, leaving the store and wrapping the scarf tightly around my neck. {Thank you!}
I gotta admit, I'm pretty cold—I never really liked snow unless I had the proper snow jacket, pants, and five layers of socks.
And mittens.
Mittens are good.
I walked along, slowly but steadily, and eventually heard the rushing of a river.
Hmm…A river wouldn't be rushing now; it'd be frozen over…
But then again, I should be dead…anything's possible…
My chocolate eyes blinked slowly once, twice, three times, until I finally kept walking.
Suddenly, I heard a voice call out!
In Japanese, no less!
"Watashi shinitakunai! Watashi shinitakunai!" The voice called, worriedly. {I don't want to die! I don't want to die!}
The person—the voice sounded feminine, so I guessed it was a girl—sounded as if they were crying.
I looked up, and saw…no way!
What's America doing in a tree?
The blonde…no, brown…wait…grr!
The hair was the right length, and cut…but the person was female.
She was wearing a black dress, and a hoodie…Hehee, black is my favorite color~
Anyway, from here her eyes look to be a bright blue.
I think I see some kind of scrape on her cheek…it looks kind of new…hmm.
The person clung to the trunk at the top of an oak tree, just above the river.
My Japanese classes kicked in, as did my "psychologist" mindset.
I'd helped many people in my life back in England…
I'm going to miss them.
I'm also going to see if computers are invented yet, in this time period, and where I can access one.
But first, I'mma save a frickin' life, cuz I'm a hero!
…I really need to stop watching Hetalia.
"Shinaide kudasai!" I called back. {Then don't!}
The girl looked down at me, probably wondering who the heck I was…well, I'm a random passerby.
"Shinaide kudasai!" I call again, "Wa shinitainai baai wa, tan'ni ori!" {Then don't! If you don't want to die, just come down!}
"I-iie! Sore wa watashi shinu koto o ikani jūyō ka shiranai!" The girl calls back, obviously distraught…well, I was, too, when I decided to die. {N-no! You don't know how important it is that I die!}
But I realized, too late, how monumentally stupid it was, committing suicide…
"Sōda ne…" I began, starting to climb the tree, "…Watashiniha arimasen. Shikashi... Watashi wa tasuke shiyo koto ga dekimasu ka?" I asked. {You're right… …I don't. But…can I try to help?}
The girl shakes her head, clutching the tree tighter, as if some sort of lifeline—which, as of now, it sort of was.
"O ga dekiru koto wa nani arimasen!" The girl shouts. {There's nothing you can do!}
I'm about a branch below the girl now, our heads are level.
"Te kudasai. Watashi ni hanashikakete kudasai. Nani ga warui nodeshou ka?" I ask calmly, and the girl shakes her head again, swallowing back tears. {Please. Talk to me. What's wrong?}
"Watashiniha muri." She says. {I can't.}
"Wa suru koto ga dekimasu," I argue, brushing snowflakes out of the girl's short hair. {You can.}
"O nai to onaji..." The girl starts. {You wouldn't…}
"Watashi monodenaideshou ka rikai dekimasu ka? Bokute mite kudasai." {I wouldn't what? Understand? Try me.}
She glares at me.
"Sekai demo watashi no chi no chikara mottomo kyōryokuna genbaku, watashi ga shineba, dare mo o akutibu suru koto wa dekimasen. Ima shiawasedesu ka?" {My blood powers the most powerful bomb in the world, and if I die, no one can activate it. Happy now?}
This is a surprising reply.
Bomb…?
"... Anata wa tadashī to. Watashi sono jōkyō ni i rikai shite imasen. Watashi wa keisatsu e ikuga yakunitatanai to katei shi?" I respond. {...You were right. I don't understand being in that situation. I assume that going to the police won't help?}
She makes a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob…hmm.
"Watashi wa anata dake yōna jōdan-ware shinjirarenai..." {I can't believe you just cracked a joke like that…}
I laugh.
"Sā, o ori mimashou." I say. {Come on, let's get you down.}
She stares at me for a good minute or two.
I can see so many emotions fluttering through those blue eyes…
It almost worries me.
After a minute, however, she nods and the two of us climb down.
XxXxXx
[A/N: From here-on-out, everything they say is still Japanese, but will be written in English, for the sake of the readers and my fingers.]
"So who are you?" The girl asks.
I'd learned her name is Issa.
"My name is Lauren." I tell her.
She's a bit taller than me.
"How do you know Japanese? I don't think you're from Japan…" She asks me suspiciously.
"It's true. I'm from England…but I learned Japanese, German, French, Chinese and Russian, because of my love for a TV show…it's about the World Wars, in case you're wondering." I reply, with a smile.
I take her to a coffee shop, but it didn't seem to cheer her up at all…hmm.
"So," I ask, taking a sip from my espresso, "Do you have anything to do with the strange goings on back in England? Just a few days ago, I swear to you, something happened. I don't know what, but something happened..."
…Before I died.
"Uh…have you heard of an anime called Hetalia?"
I nearly jump out of my seat in surprise.
"No way! I love Hetalia!" I cry out, but pause. "Wait, why?"
"What if I told you it was real?" She questions.
My eyes widen, and I feel my pulse begin to race…what if my neck opens again?
I try to calm myself down with espresso.
But first, I pour more sugar into it.
"It depends…How much information do you have?" I ask her.
"Weird stuff in England…and most likely, Canada and Germany."
I nearly jump once again.
"T-they're real?" I ask in disbelief. "Have–…Have you met them?" I continue, more calmly.
She nods, and I mentally gasp.
"Some of them…you're not a big Germany fangirl, are you? Cause he's kind of evil."
"More or less Russia-evil?" I ask.
"Much more. Russia's a big sweetie." She says with a laugh.
I can't keep myself from bouncing in my seat a bit…what?
This is awesome.
My face contorts into a wacky grin.
"You've met Russia? Who else? Who else?" I ask happily.
"Um…The Allies, the Axis, Austria, Hungary, Prussia, Canada and Cuba, for a little bit…"
Unintentionally I jerk forward, and perform a rather awesome spit-take.
"You—you've met Prussia?" I ask, coughing a bit.
"Yeah." Issa laughs, and helps me clean my spewed espresso up with a napkin.
I lean in conspiratorially, and my eyes widen as I feel excitement and giddiness build up inside me.
"No way! Was he awesome?" I ask, my voice lowering a bit as I asked the question.
"Yeah. He's not power-hungry and sadistic like Germany. He tried to teach me Japanese before Japan—"
I accidentally cut her off, mid-sentence, with "Wait, you speak English? Why are we talking in Japanese?"
"It's...It's complicated...Japan made a translator gun-thingy that makes me speak Japanese. I can still understand English, but whenever I try to speak it, my brain just kinda scrambles around until I'm speaking Japanese. It's really annoying," Issa explains, scowling at the wadded-up napkins on the table.
"No way…that sucks…" I say quietly, losing my smile a bit.
"Yeah, I don't know why Japan went with Germany's plan…last I checked, Japan had renounced war."
My head tilts to the side, ever-so-slightly.
"…I wonder why Germany's like this in the first place. He's mostly just so cute and socially awkward," I say with a sense of confusion building up inside my stomach, "So how did you get dragged into this mess?"
Issa took a deep breath, and sighed.
"Where to start...It's kinda hard to believe that this happened 'bout a week ago. Feels like forever..."
She takes a packet of sugar and dumps it on the table.
Swirling it around with her pinky finger, she starts to explain.
"I was in class. Germany, Japan, and Italy walked in and took me and another boy, Josh. They cut my hair to make me look like America, and we were separated. They kidnapped a girl that looks like China, Jia Li, a boy that looks like Russia, Dimah, I think his name is, and a boy that looks like France, Harvey. I think. I don't know those two very much."
I watch as she pushes the sugar up to make a little sugar-mountain and then crushes it with her index finger.
"Jia Li and I escaped and ran into Iggy, then we met China and America, then I stopped Cuba from hurting Canada when he was in one of those rages. We found out that I wasn't like America, but more like Canada, and that if you followed the patterns, someone who really was like America would be kidnapped."
She sweeps the sugar pile into a napkin and crumples it up.
"We found him, Zack, and saved him." Her voice broke a bit at this 'Zack' person's name, but she kept going.
"So, I tried to go back home, because they thought I wasn't in danger anymore, but the next day, America and Canada came back because they found a video that England accidentally took that Germany captured him because he wanted my whereabouts. England...He-...he didn't talk, and now, he's insane because of something Germany did...That's probably what's wrong in the country England..." She trailed off, tears threatening to spill.
I process this information…who knew?
Hetalia is real.
That means that this war Germany has declared is real…
And…now my country is insane…
Bullocks.
I get depressed and die in one portion of the world, and now, here I am, depressed again in another!
Oh, well.
I have an obligation, now, to watch over Issa…
She seems to be either my age or a bit older.
Something about all of this…is just so surreal…
I scoot my chair next to Issa's and put my arm around her comfortingly.
"So," She continues while wiping her eyes.
"Switzerland-...oh, derp, that's right I met him and Liechtenstein—saved him and Josh from Germany. Harvey and Dimah were released, probably because they weren't important to Germany's first plan. I-...kinda-sorta-mighta...kissed Zack a little... and maybe-sorta fell a little in love with him, but Germany knew, or guessed that, and kidnapped him and my little sister, so I would take the bait and he could activate the bomb and kill everyone. And, I kinda ran away from Austria's house and that's where we met. The end. Questions?"
I'm utterly stunned.
I already have a feeling of sisterly overprotectiveness forming in my mind, and hearing about Zack puts it into overdrive.
Who's this Zack person?
I'll make sure to have a nice little talk with him when I meet him…
But for now I'm talking to Issa, and that's important.
"What was Germany's first plan?" I ask her.
"Good question," She says, "I don't know. But his second plan is to take me, kill anyone who gets in his way, and blow the world up."
"So…Instead of drawing a circle and seeing the earth, he's drawing blood and not seeing the world." I crack a smirk at my weird comment.
Issa facepalms.
"Yes, thank you for that image, Lauren."
I freeze, and then I can practically hear my brain whirring.
"Wait, did you say you ran away from Austria's house? Girl, we gotta get you back! Besides, Germany or Japan could be anywhere!" I said, grabbing Issa's hand and pulling her up.
"And I really want to meet them," I mumble under my breath in English.
"Heard that!" Issa said in Japanese…hnnnn…
"Danke," I say in German to the cashier, who looked utterly baffled at the two of us.
I would be, too, if I was some German-speaking man, minding my own business—literally—and two beaten-looking girls come in and talk in Japanese for a good 20 minutes…
After a few minutes of leading Issa, I suddenly realize something absolutely crucial:
I have no idea where Austria lives.
"Um…where are we going?" I ask her shyly.
She facepalms again, and says, "Follow me."
XxXxXx
I'm not quite sure that Issa had the route to Austria's house completely memorized, either.
We got lost quite a few times.
When we do finally reach the large house, I nearly die at what we see.
Issa seems a bit frazzled, and her face is as red as the cut on her cheek.
Almost as soon as we pass the threshold, a man with black hair and violet eyes runs over, ranting loudly about irresponsible Issa was, how worried he was, and how he thought that Issa had tried to free Zack and Renae by herself, and who the Mozart am I…If I wasn't paralyzed I'd giggle.
Issa smiles at him, contradicting his angry face, and I stand stock-still.
THIS IS AUSTRIA.
AUSTRIA!
"This is Lauren. She helped me when I needed it most. I'm really sorry, Austria. It won't happen again." She says, and Austria sighs and stomps off, grumbling.
Issa looks over at me, and looks slightly relieved about something…I wonder what?
She then proceeds to laugh and wave a hand in front of my face, knocking me out of my Austrian reverie; I stare at her, wide-eyed.
"Th-that was really Austria?" I ask-it almost came out as a whisper.
"Yup. In all his OCD glory." Issa replied, and I snickered, mentally.
I allow myself a fangirl squee; I'm feeling quite lightheaded, so I probably couldn't stop it if I tried.
Issa smirked at me.
"Dude, get up. You can't meet the others if you're asleep." she stated.
"Who else is here?" I shrieked, nearly losing all self-control to my fangirlish willpower as I tugged on Issa's black hoodie sleeve.
"Um, America, Canada, England, Hungary, Russia and France. And Josh, Harvey, Dimah, his sisters, and Zack's sister, Josie are somewhere around here." Issa responded, and I jumped up and down, grinning so happily it was almost frightening.
"What are we waiting for, then? Let's go!" I yell, and Issa leads me into a room.
It was a hospital room, as dreary and white as the ones in England.
White walls, white bed, white sheets, white tiled floor, white furniture, white flowers in a white vase—I think you get the point.
"Um..." Issa starts to speak, and I turn to her.
"...America and Canada are kinda...distraught, and Iggy...he's...Well, if you get too close, he'll start screaming about monsters." She warns me.
I nod, my smile vanishing almost instantly, "Kay."
England is...insane.
I'm insane.
I'm from England...hmm...
Maybe this crazy plan of mine will work...?
It's a small chance, but it's a chance all the same.
Phase #1 of my awesome plan begins...now, I sigh mentally, and take in a big breath.
This will either end very well or very badly...let's hope for the former, shall we?
I walk over to America and Canada.
Canada is sleeping...he's so CUTE!
Wait, no—calm down, Lauren.
I have to stay calm.
Don't upset Arthur...
I begin to talk in English.
"Hello, Alfred. My name is Lauren, and I-"
"Dude, you sound like Iggy..." America interrupts, with a slight smile.
"I know. I'm from England. Do you want to talk about anything? Issa filled me in on everything that's happened so far."
Silence.
"Well, you're a lot nicer than Iggy..."
"Stop focusing so hard on Arthur. That's part of what's troubling you." I say seriously, and place a hand on his shoulder; he nods at me.
I look into his eyes and see pain, worry... Depression.
"So do you like hamburgers?" He asks suddenly, and I smile and nod.
I've only had a few in my short lifetime, but they were quite delicious, I daresay.
"That's great! Iggy doesn't like hamburgers, so I thought that all his citizens wouldn't like them, but I guess that's not true!" America is comforted, and so phase #1 is complete.
Time for phase #2 of my awesome plan.
Without any particular warning, I slowly, cautiously walk over to England's crazy-bed.
He was sitting cross-legged, fiddling with his shirt buttons, like they were bothering him...I wonder...
"Can I sit with you?" I ask softly, comfortingly; when he looks up at me, he tenses immediately when he looks up at me.
"...Will you eat me if I say no?" he asks.
"No," I reply, and after a moment, he relaxes a little bit; I wait for his response.
"...Alright." he said, and I smile softly at my country's personification as I sit on the edge of the bed.
I stare curiously at him (mostly his eyebrows) and my mind begins to whir once again.
Now for the moment of truth...so far, so good, and all that...
"Arthur, what color are my eyes?" I ask him softly.
He ponders for a good minute, and finally responds, "Brown."
At this Issa and Alfred look up, and directly at Iggy.
"Really?" Alfred begins.
"What color is her hair?" he asks, and I see a spark of hope in his aqua eyes.
"Brown," England responds.
Is...Is my plan actually working?
The hope builds up inside me as well as Alfred, and I'm positive that Issa feels it too...
"Wh-what color are my eyes?" He continues.
"Red." Arthur says...
My hope explodes into pieces, and I watch Alfred's face fall...
"A-are you sure?"
England cocks his head to the side, like a small child. "Yes."
"Artie, please!" Alfred yells. "Please! You know me! I'm your little brother! You know me! You know..."
England looks at him, then at Issa, and then me, then back to him. "No, I don't."
I fiddle with my scarf sadly.
I tried...
And I'm going to keep trying...
I promise, Alfred...Matthew...Issa...
I promise Arthur.
XxXxXx
Nyuahhahaha!
Chaptah one, peopleses!
I might keep making Laurens's point of view...if it's okay with Memoranda, of course~!
Nyeheeheee~!
