Surprise Mother F***er
(Season 7 Episode 12 Fan Fiction)
Dexter Moser. That is the name he gave to Hector Estrada the last time they had been in this… situation. Initially Dexter had used the name simply to inform Estrada of who he had been before he became a killer. Now it seemed eerily appropriate. Perhaps this would be all he needed to close this chapter of his life. For the time of Dexter Moser and his Dark Passenger to end and finally allow the life of Dexter Morgan to begin. Lumen's Dark Passenger left her after they'd killed her rapists and would-be murderers. Why should his persist after tonight? He delicately taped Laura Moser's picture on the wall beside a picture of Brian and another of himself.
The stage is set.
"Time to wake up, Hector," Dexter said taking the scalpel in his hand. The ritual, repeated so often he barely had to think about it, was bliss. This time he had opted out of using the chain saw. It wasn't his style and as LaGuerta had proven last time he was in the shipping yard, it drew too much attention. No, he was going to go about this the old-fashioned way with yards of plastic and a knife.
"What the fuck… Not you again," Hector Estrada spat trying to twist his head around to look at Dexter.
"Sorry about the interruption last time," he said calmly. He slowly drew the scalpel across the man's cheek drawing blood and curses. "It won't happen again."
Hector Estrada the man who effectively created two serial killers by killing one woman fits into the space under the back seat of my van. Dexter thought to himself as he closed the trunk. He'd taken his time cutting up Estrada, stared him in the eyes when he'd put a knife through his heart and now he felt satisfied.
He checked his phone, it was a half hour to midnight and there were two missed calls. One from Jaime and one from Deb. But a half hour was enough time. He could get to Batista's in time for the fireworks. He could spend his first minutes of the New Year with his son and leave behind his fears. There was nothing left LaGuerta could use to tie him to the Bay Harbor Butcher and that gave him a sense of peace.
"Surprise motherfucker."
Dexter wheeled half expecting to see Doakes but it was LaGuerta standing there poised with her gun pointed at his chest. He opened his mouth trying to think of something to say then closed it. The shipping yard was dark but there was almost no chance she had missed him moving the knives and body bags to his car.
"What's in the bags, Dexter? Ice?" she asked with a smug expression on her face. "Black gloves, I'm sure they come in handy on your boat. That is where you are going right? To your boat?"
Dexter tried to think, struggling for something to say to justify what he was doing there. It was the shipping yard where LaGuerta had tracked him before, where he'd abandoned the kill room. There was no explanation or at least none that could dissuade her now. He raised his hands in what he intended as a peaceable gesture.
"Captain, I…"
Bang. Dexter crumpled hands going to his leg where the blood started pouring out.
"Fuck," he hissed the bullet had gone through his shin. She shot me! She actually shot me! LaGuerta walked around Dexter to open the car door. He reached for her but couldn't get to his feet she stepped back gun pointing at his head.
"Don't you move," she snapped opening the car door. She didn't take the gun off him as she rummaged around. He'd been shot before, by Doakes no less, but he couldn't put any weight on his leg.
It must have struck bone.
"Do you flay your fish on the boat Dexter?" LaGuerta asked pulling his roll of knives from the car. He could only glare at her. "That was a good trick you pulled. Giving me fake evidence destroying my credibility. But no more. I'll bet anything those bags contain pieces of Estrada but I'd hate to contaminate a crime scene," she said a hysteric giggle bubbled past her lips.
"You've completely lost it LaGuerta. Not to mention the circumstances here anything you 'find' in my car would be thrown out in court. You have no warrant besides shooting an unarmed civilian."
"I don't fucking care about how this will look in court," she said glaring down at him.
"Then what… do you want?"
"I want a confession. You framed Doakes as the Bay Habor Butcher and then killed him so he could never spread the truth."
Dexter saw no point in lying to her. What could it earn him? She had the upper hand and perhaps if he'd treated this night like any other kill night she would have never surprised him like this.
"I framed Doakes. But I didn't kill him."
Bang. She hit him in the right shoulder and he cursed. The woman has lost it.
"I don't want your lies," LaGuerta sneered.
"I'm not lying. Yes I framed Doakes and locked him in the cabin in the woods but I did not kill him. Lila did," Dexter said through gritted teeth.
"Lila? Your ex-girlfriend? Now why on earth should I believe that?" she laughed harshly.
"Because if I killed Doakes, you never would have found him."
She raised her gun again and Dexter braced himself.
Bang.
LaGuerta fell. He could only stare at her.
"Dexter?" He wiped his head around to see Debra jogging towards him gun still poised as if LaGuerta might get up. But there was no chance of that. Deb was a good shot the entrance wound was right between the eyes. The blood was already pooling around LaGuerta's head. Spreading outwards like a dark halo. "What the fuck?"
"I think she snapped, Deb," he said staring at LaGuerta's blank expression.
"Jesus fucking Christ. She shot you?"
"Twice." He tried to get to his feet but the world spun and Deb caught him before he could fall into the van.
"I need to call this in and you need an ambulance," she said in a voice he found eerily calm.
"Could you do me a favor first? LaGuerta was going through my car…"
Deb let out a string of imaginative curses when she picked up the knife roll but she replaced it under the seats and closed the van. The cops would have no right to search the car they could say that LaGuerta had lured him out there to try and make peace then began firing. It wasn't so distant from the truth.
He watched her face as she pulled out her cell phone and called the ambulance. Some mixture of adrenaline and shock must be raging in her system. Either that or she still loved him regardless of what she'd said. Dexter didn't remember when it happened but he had blacked out before the ambulance arrived.
He woke up a day later in the hospital a free man to the sight of Jaime holding Harrison. The perfect start to the New Year.
